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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did anyone react to the sex of your baby like you should be disappointed??

20 replies

curiousgeorgie · 21/01/2013 13:38

Just found out that I'm having a DD2! It was what I'd been hoping for and DH later told me that he was secretly hoping for another daughter too.

Everyone we've told has been sympathetic! Like its bad news that we're not having a boy. And when I explain that we had a girl name sorted, we can reuse all our clothes and pink toys, bedding etc... It's like I'm protesting too much!

Did anyone else experience this? I don't think I'm going to tell anyone else!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Reaa · 21/01/2013 13:41

We had 4 boys then DC5 was a girl, everyone said we could stop having DC's now as we finally had a girl!

We went on the have DC6 and DC7 because that's how many we wanted regardless of gender

mum47 · 21/01/2013 13:43

Congratulatiaons! I had ds first, and when having second one, got a few comments "bet you are hoping for a girl this time" Nope, I will just be happy with a healthy baby thank you very much..

DS2 was born, and I was absolutely delighted at having my two boys, but even then I got quite a lot of "oh were you hoping for a girl" comments.

I don't think people really mean anything by them, but they could potentially cause upset!

cathpip · 21/01/2013 13:45

I have one of each and recall 1 lady (who is a pain in the arse) saying "oh its so nice having one of each, you don't need to have a third now" . Well needless to say i always wanted three so it will be a pleasure telling her im pregnant!!!

Eletheomel · 21/01/2013 13:47

Hi George,

I'm team yellow, so we don't know what we're having this time, but we have one DS and while I really don't care if its a girl or a boy, myself and DH have also discussed how maybe another boy would be good for the same reasons you suggest (we already have a name (no idea what to do for girls names!) we only have a 2 bed house so they could share a room for longer and we could re-use toys and clothes).

I think people always presume you want one of each and if you don't you'll be disappointed, which is total nonsense. I love my little boy so much I can't imagine anything nicer than having another one.

The only spanner in the works is my little boy has said he wants a girl - so he may suffer gender disappointment if we don't get what he wants (but then, he's only 3 so he's allowed)

This is our last child and as far as we're concerned our family will be just as complete with 2 boys as 1 of each.

Emsyboo · 21/01/2013 13:47

We haven't told anyone the sex because as soon as we told people we were pregnant people (in particular mil) have said things like hopefully you won't have another boy or if your lucky you'll have a girl.
My DS is wonderful and I would love another boy as have names and clothes and a 2 year gap would hopefully make them thick as thieves.
As it happens we are having a girl but don't want to deal with their joy that we aren't having another boy as I know it will upset me as if my DS is not as precious as a girl.
I know it's silly but people don't realise how their reactions make you feel all babies are precious and wonderful and don't necessarily fit gender stereotypes either x

TwitchyTail · 21/01/2013 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 21/01/2013 13:58

I've been amazed at how many people have told us how lucky we are to have one of each. I always make the point that I would have been equally happy if DD had been a boy!

ScalesAndMirrorsLie · 21/01/2013 14:02

Had this all the time. Comments included...

Noooo!
Never mind. Would you try again for a girl.?
What a shame
You'll have your hands full with 3 boys.
Omg! You'll have a football team

Some people just either don't know what to say or they're just damn rude

Good luck with our pg

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 21/01/2013 14:18

My latest message from DH's best friend actually says...

"Maybe have the match of the day theme tune playing when you try for the next one!!"

OP posts:

firawla · 21/01/2013 14:20

yup, i have 3 boys so had a lot of this especially on the 3rd one

lovemybabyboy · 21/01/2013 14:33

When I was expecting DS2 we didn't know the sex and everyone kept saying "I bet you would love a girl"...actually no, after loosing our 2nd pregnancy by mmc at 13weeks we did not care what sex the baby was!! I love having my 2 DS's.
Now I am 14 weeks with DC3 and the "Oh well, I know you are hoping for a girl" etc etc type comments have started!! Grr!! We will hopefully be finding out the sex this time as I can't wait!! but again we don't care what sex the baby is as long as he/she is healthy!!
I know that if this baby is DS3 then everyone is going to think we are dissapointed!!

milkyjo · 21/01/2013 14:48

I have a DS and expecting DD in March, we've been open in telling people when they ask what sex the baby is. I get the "oooh one of each, how lovely for you" and I always feel I have to justify myself that if this was another boy I would be equally happy. It doesn't bother me to have 'one of each', I'd just like children to cherish, regardless of being boys or girls! I just let the comments wash over me though, I can't see myself getting angry over someone's comment - after all they are just trying to be nice - unless it was a hugely negative comment like others have had!

ScottishLassAboutToPass · 21/01/2013 15:11

Ignore them all! I agree some people are just rude, and some just don't have the sense to realise that they're being rude!

I'm 40 weeks with DD3 and couldn't be happier. I always thought I wanted 3 girls, but after 2 mc ttc DC3 I just wanted a healthy baby. I have had the comments regarding trying for DC4 to see if it would be a boy and I always pretend that I've misunderstood and say that if we were to try for DC4, 4 little girls would be just perfect.

Congratulations on your pg's! A healthy baby is so precious and much much more important than gender.

abigboydidit · 21/01/2013 16:35

Oh yes! Think some people just say it as something to fill the gap in conversation to be honest. I know my inlaws are desperate for a grand-daughter though, which is up to them but I really wish they would keep their opinions to themselves (especially given my sister in law had fertility problems and recurring miscarriages and would dearly have loved any child, whatever gender). At Christmas I overheard them saying loudly to dinner guests that they "had better have a little girl at their feet by this time next year" . Am ashamed to say my hormones got the better of me and I told them in my best happy voice that at their age, chances of adoption were limited but they could try the agency Madonna uses .

5madthings · 21/01/2013 16:43

Yes lots of comments when we had ds3 and then ds4 and I still get comments now about how fabulous we finally got a girl (no 5) and how wee can stop now etc.

Tbh I would quite like one more!

I think peoplke are generally just trying to make conversation and don't mean to be rude/insensitive.

gardenpixies32 · 21/01/2013 19:55

Had fraternal twins and secretly wanted 2 girls but was convinced I was having 2 boys. I had two girls in the end and loads of people said to me it was a pity I didn't have one of each. Like I lost out in some way!

I was over the moon.

mylittlemonkey · 21/01/2013 23:18

I have a DS and since PG this time I have had many remarks along lines 'you might be lucky and get a girl this time' even from total strangers. I just find it incredible that people say things like that. I don't let it bother me in the slightest as would be over the moon with another boy and even if I did prefer a girl this time I am hardly likely to agree how disappointed I would be!

NAR4 · 22/01/2013 09:05

Amusingly enough I have three older boys and one little girl and am currently pregnant with a boy. Mums at toddler group, who assume my little girl is my only child, think its lovely that I am having a boy, but the ones that know I already have three older boys say I must be disappointed it isn't another girl.

Having both sexes now I thought these stupid comments would stop, but clearly you should have even numbers of boys and girls. Wonder if Dh would buy into that idea to persuade him to have some more children?

Like everyone else has said, I am happy with a healthy baby of either sex.

sheeplikessleep · 22/01/2013 09:13

Oh gawd, I'm dreading these comments.

I'm pregnant with DC3 (9 weeks) and have two gorgeous DSs. I'm sort of hoping we can go beyond the 12 week thing until we reveal our news, for fear of the comments. We've told FIL, whose response was "ooh, are you hoping for one without a spout this time?", I wish I could think of some witty retort!

themindwonders · 22/01/2013 10:57

yes we had this (am 23 weeks with ds3) ... in the end i asked if they meant to be rude, and if i wanted to chose the sex i would buy a puppy :)

maybe my hormones made me a little unreasonable :/ but we happy as someone said i got all the stuff and my ds2 is coming up 2 so nice age gap)

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