Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

[eagleray]

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome

I'm due on the 15th but given the move want her to stay put at least til DS has settled a bit.

Do we get to join the sweepstake? I reckon we'll have earned the comfort food/foot massage (nearly typed foof massage there ).

Waiter: Johnny Depp - gorgeous and charming
Masseur: Michael Fassbender - I mean, who wouldn't?

I vote order: Chairman (sorry you not on list), MrsW, Knicky.
Nominated prize Colin Firth to wait on us, George Clooney for massage. Warning I might go into labour

Mmm how is a girl to concentrate on work now?!

Can we have Colin Firth in there too as a masseur or waiter too, preferably scantily-clad?

Knickyknocks just reading your account of MS brings my nausea on. I think it's even worse in the summer in the heat. No doubt whenever someone so much as mentions the Olympics you feel like vomiting! Lucky lucky you to be past that grim stage! Do hope LO doesn't appear just yet so you have time to put your feet up and enjoying not being at work for a few weeks - bliss!

Chummy a big hug to you and as others will say, so many people have been through your situation too and then end up going to term successfully. X

Baddmissm sorry to hear about the SIL - sounds ghastly but thank goodness for your DH for standing up to it and steering clear of the ex. Sorry to hear about the negativity about having another nipper but the MIL sounds fab. Have just thought of another comment someone said to me on announcing that I was pg "oh what a shame" closely followed by "plenty of men that age (47 - referring to DH) are grandfathers by that age". Thank goodness thick skin comes with age and us Fabulous 40s can whinge about it to each other to our hearts' content!

Cyclecamper - sounds like your husband should be in the snug as the official chef! You lucky thing... His food sounds delish.

Scarecrow your list is VERY impressive! Have you got data management or librarian skills amongst your talents?! I can add mine:
Lottie DC5 due mid August 2013

Sparkly your Downs result is quite incredible! Have you checked your birth certificate to see if your actually in your twenties rather than in your 40s?! I'm going to quote this freely to anyone who makes negative comments about being pg in your 40s.

Also so sorry DH is being negative about pg. Can you fill me in on why as I'm not really up to date with everyone yet? When are you due? How do you think MIL will react? Mine was vile to start with but think other family members gave her a talking-to & is now improving slightly. Good luck with telling everyone & IGWS that all of us on here are delighted for you. X

Chairmanwow so glad the move is looking on track - what a weight off your shoulders! Very best of luck for Tuesday.

Kangaroo glad hormones are behaving again and love the thought of the Dallas box set! Am probably going to sound v weird but always had a secret thing for JR. He was so nasty but there was something about him... Love your Buddha quote too.

Butterybiscuitbass big waves to you as a fellow 44 year old. Fabulous that you've started late and continuing to churn them out! I do love stories like yours ... Another nice tale to gleefully tell those doubters of becoming pg in your 40s!

Waves to everyone else. XX

Lottie - hurrah to another vote for Colin. I've gone a bit into nice man mode while pg. Apparently it's meant to be the other way around when you are ready to conceive (what I call my Clive Owen times...)

Other than that just to report that the not very tricky mystery about why I have put on nearly 3st and turned from a reasonably fit runner into a giddy blob has been solved: went to buy some chocolate and they were doing two bars of G&B butterscotch for not much more than price of one. Ah, I thought, I'll buy one for DH for later as a little love gift. Well, it appears I do not love him enough as one bar seagued into two a little too easily. And I still feel giddy.

They were the small bars, btw, before I make any of you first trimester ladies even more MS!

PS Thanks LottieH for update for list (and I worked out your age, supersleuthette that I am)

Anybody who wants to be added, ideally need:

Name (Nickname), age, DCno, due date (sex if you know/want to share)

Oh, and anybody but anybody can cut and paste, amend and re-post the list.

If anyone can offer Jon Snow for waiter/chat and Clooney for the footrub (who mentioned the new verb To Clooney, meaning to remain happily unmarried??), I am prepared to start eating pineapples and curry and shamelessly shagging, simultaneously if necessary, in order to leapfrog my doubtless more deserving sisters and bags the time in the snug for myself. Having said which, I still have no hospital bag, list or anything ready, though I did buy a sheepskin from Ikea for her to lie on in a Victorian infant picture styley... No wonder I was thrown out of the Brownies.

MrsW. It's important to get those stylistic issues sorted. Meh to baby gros and all that.

Now, someone mentioned Clive Owen and in an instant rekindled my crush. I'd forgotten about him. This is fast turning into the thread of lust. I'd jump the auld fella but I'm not in a good way down there. Sex and pregnancy just don't happen at the same time for me. Too sore. I recall trying a quick go last time when I was fed up of being overdue. Me going 'ow!' was not the greatest turn on for DH. In fact I reckon that bumps me down the sweepstake a bit doesn't it.

Scarecrow last time I went from Lycra-clad cyclist to tent-clad blob in 9 easy months. Chocolate truffles and flapjack in industrial quantities seem to have been the culprit. Given the amount I was consuming its hilarious that I was surprised at my weight gain. What an eejit. This time I had HG in the first tri and have never quite been vom-free so I'm not quite so blobby. Still plenty to lose though. Buggy fit for me!

For the list: I'm 40, this is DC2, due 15th March, it's a girl. I'd update myself but am on my phone so not sure if I can.

Chairmanwow i second michael fassbender. not sure i could actually cope with him massaging me I might explode but he is extraordinary no?

lottie so sorry about the sickness. it's so grossly horrible I remember. it ebbed for me from about 14 weeks and was gone by week 20. Are there any special foods that give you respite?

knicky love your reminiscing about those early days. I remember feeling so sick in the park with my DS and lying on my bed just wondering 'how am i going to get through this?'. I also like the idea the first trimester is the worst - i think to be honest it's true. I just also add take supplements as soon as you can keep them down - it's made this pregnancy so much better for me than last time.

mystified by anyone who thinks it is strange to start family in 40s or around - my closest friends have all done so.

mrs wooster like the sheepskin rug idea - cute!

belated attempt to sound slightly less shallow...the sheepskin is also planned to be a babyseat liner and pram liner. With a bit of judicious snipping to make it fit round the straps, I'm hoping we'll be able to lift her out of one and into another without disturbing her. I understand they're quite soothing and bizarrely cool despite woolliness. We shall see - it'd better work because the poor child has nothing else ready apart from second hand clothes from DS and a pram (ditto).

No need, you didn't sound shallow in the first place. Second babies need and get much less prep. We've hardly done a thing! She's got hand me down everything. The only new things we've bought are a new mattress for the Moses and a couple of babygros which I got when in a soppy mood about 3 months ago.

I envy your sheepskin

Recent posts have made me laugh out loud!
MrsW loving the sound of the sheepskin too. And god not shallow at all. The only reason that this little one has been bought any new clothing at all is because I felt it unfair to put my new DS in a babygro saying 'adorable girl' in baby pink writing. Hand-me-downs are the way forward for subsequent little ones.... at the shameless shagging, pineapple and curry eating to leapfrog me and chairman

Got to say shagging is one thing me and DH won't be doing to get this LO to appear any sooner. My sex drive is as barren as the Sahara. I envy those ladies who are able to keep it going for the whole of the pregnancy - some swear they have the best orgasms whilst pregnant, but the fact remains it practically takes a crane to get me out of bed at the moment let alone any bedroom shennanigans. I fear I'd have to ask DH to roll me off him at the end of it all somehow . Sexy....not

Ooh that said who mentioned Clive Owen?? Ding dong ladies!

And errrr slightly embarrassed by my choice of waiter and foot masseuse as they show my age rather. Judd Nelson from when he was in Breakfast Club as my waiter, and Richard Gere from an officer and a gentleman days who could rub my feet.

Lovely. Pass that pineapple please I'm getting started

MrsW that's got to be one of the funniest posts of the thread (pineapples, curry and sex). Or I've been stuck at my desk too long today! Also loving the sheepskin. Not at all shallow. DD had all handmedowns and charity/eBay and she was first beloved. Goodness help the next. What was that sketch if the two Yorkshiremen (?): "a fourth hand patched boy's pantaloon? You were spoilt," LO will be saying....

X-posted Knicky. Then broke for yet another M&S meal. Am eating my way through entire range at Waterloo. And very bored of it all now. And broke. As for waiter/massage options, we'll be reviving the brat back soon.

Cummon then, were you George Michael or Andrew Ridgley girls? And which Duran Duran member (afraid I was a Bowie girl, never a Duranie (until revival in ironic discos!))

Back to work - or in my case heading home from it - thanks for earlier support in thread and kind advice. I will try not to bore you but things complicated by a few factors. One is I have very specific "skills" ( or lack of them) and experience, as though I'd been a firefighter (though I am a zillion times less heroic or useful) and was wondering what on earth I could so next. Also I fear my marriage would struggle of I don't have an independent income: this is not to diss DH - when we met and marrow I was adamant I wanted a career, plus many of his lovely qualities are the flip side of his continued modest pay and v poor money management skills. Given how important I consider this for DD (and LO) it is an important consideration. Do I enjoy it - a lot of it yes. I get stressed but have learned to manage that, and get tired and it eats into marriage as so seldom get gone before DH in bed, but I will not always be pregnant and DH insists he prefers me doing job (bit at this). The huge painful upsetting thing is not seeing DD that fourth day/night - I could happily cope with 3. It is a tough call to resign viz lack of options and money/marriage for sake of one night. But also tough not to. I'm at a loss, as you can see.

Sorry, went on more than intended.

Will return to Clive Owen tomorrow

thanks for your messages..... we aren't giving up just yet :)

Just popped up to ask a quick question!

How many of your ladies conceived naturally at 40+ please??

I am 41 now and last night we discussed IVF at ARGC (for the first time ... both positive thinkers and believed it 'would happen'!)

DH is early 50's ... both acutely aware of DH age too.
My grandfather was a similar age when my mother was born and poor mother grew up in constant fear that her father was going to die! When DH reaches 55 we will stop trying. Scary thought, hence the IVF question now!

xxx

Hi Chummy, I conceived naturally at 39 & 41. My impression is most women on here similar, but can't be sure on every one.
Friends who have taken longer than wanted have sometimes just gone to GP and been referred for tests to better establish if they just need to be patient or if there is a fundamental problem. That might be worth doing as a gentle first step towards considering IVF? (In what I gather is a not-uncommon side effect, more than one couple conceived naturally when they changed focus from fertility cycle to medical appointments!)
I know some feel another good pathway is 'natural assistance': apart from good diet etc, all of which I'm sure you've tried, this has included reflexology and accupuncture, I think.

Really good luck xx

Thanks Scarecrow.

Our concern is more DH's age. We have to consider the longed for child's well being and having a much older dad than all of your friends (Many men at 55 are grandads!) will be a challenge for any child.

May make an appointment with the Nuffield locally for tests. Cannot face disapproving looks 'at your age' from the nurses in the surgery! At least the Nuffield hide their feelings! lol!

We met later in life but have been trying for some time now. Who know's it may well still just happen! It did for you :) thank you again xxx

Good morning chummy sorry I've not given condolences I hope you are knocked up v soon. I conceived naturally age 40. More inspiringly my sis had ivf at 40 - successfully - then went on to conceive naturally at 42.

The TTC thread is all about this and goes into detail about every aspect plus the most moving heartfelt support. When in computer not phone will paste link.

mrs w not shallow at all! More loving with a sense of fun. My lo if a girl as I'm told is going to wear all ds's baby stuff. Nothing bought. Literally not a thing. This will change in next 6 weeks but I think we're all on similar page!

scarecrow now 80/ pop that's a good'un. It was Michael
Jackson briefly during his billow jean phase then.... Prince! Sorry for going on about job - i wasnt saying leave only that these are the things to think about IMHO - stress word humble! You know if despite having considers these factors, the right thing is to stick it out. Some people are
Ok in these environments - otherwise all the offices of the world would be empty!

knicky so not so embarassing now you've heard about mj and prince. Also had a Patrick swayze thing in 30s. Lol re sex! I have the urge as people may detect from my true blood ruminations but I feel so goddam shy re my shape. I know my dp isn't one of those guys who finds it sexy and I just don't want to go there. Also SPD and unmentionable cganges to nether regions and other aches and pains. I went totally overdue last time and got one grudging shag and felt quite betrayed. I don't think it would have made much diff tho.

Xxx

Chummy I can understand that you might be concerned about DH's age but people lose parents at any age. I lost my dad when I was 14. Conversely DH's nana lived to be 93. I don't want to sound glib but we just know what will happen to any of us in the future. Id say go it with the tests, at least to give you a picture of where you're both at conception-wise. Incidentally we conceived naturally at 37 and 39. Two friends had accidents at 40 last year. Most of us have had our kids post-35. One couple had successful IVF at 40 and still have frozen embryos which they're planning to use next year, whrn they'll be 42.

Re embarrassing crushes - Somewhere I was a HUGE Duran Duran fan. John Taylor was the one for me. Get you and your Bowie - too cool for school! When I entered teenage and became a goth so it was Robert Smith from the Cure all the way. My music crush now is Gruff Rhys from Super Furry Animals. God he's amazing. I reckon he's my longest standing crush - we've been 'together' about 13 years now.

Somewherebecomingrain - thank you for your good wishes........ your positive stories all contribute to positive thoughts :) .... We'll wait for this months AF due date and see what happens. If the old bag arrives, we're heading straight in for the tests....... what's to lose? (but look at what we have to gain :) Thank you in advance for posting the link. I am extremely grateful. x

Chairmanwow - Feeling emotional today and your kind post made me blub! oh lordy! Thank you for caring enough to write to me. I am dreadfully self absorbed at the moment. NOT used to feeling this way..... normally 'doing for others' x

We are going for it because we both love children, dream of having our own family unit and feel 'ready'. We are older but do you know what.......... we don't feel it! we are both fit. Hubby is part of an athletic group and super fit! I'm slim(ish), eat well and we are financially ok, not rich but not poor (ask me again after IVF LOL!) its only money.... Anyway, thank you for saying 'it's ok' - this board is the only arena that I have actually shared my feelings of concern about our ages (more so about DH's age) why do i care what other think?!?! but i do!

Re John Taylor, I remember snogging his poster! My all time love was Daniel Day-Lewis BUT only in the movie 'The Last of the Mohicans' He's not looking so hot now!!!!!

Hey chummy nothing strange about it at all and ivf if you even need it has worked for everyone I know. A news report i saw that doesn't need darts thrown at it said research shows 40 something's make the best mums as we are more experienced mature selfless devoted and we understand the world better to guide our kids.

Xxx

Chummy you've gone and made me cry now! I'm sorry you felt like you needed support on whether to go for it. There are some judgemental folks out there. The thing that matters is whether you're good parents and of course you will be. I hope you're on here soon having a good moan about hormones, sore boobs and vomit!

Important sweepstake update: I went to see the consultant this morning as I'm measuring 2 weeks ahead and since my MW appointment last Wed my little madam has moved and is now transverse! She's been head down the whole time. I'm being scanned next week and if she's the same they're going to turn me. Eeeek! She could of course flip back at any time. This is going to be interesting.

And to top it all off despite promises that all will be sorted re the move ready for tomorrow the useless solicitors still haven't managed to exchange. We are losing our minds here! Why do solicitors have to make conveyancing harder than quantum physics?! And charge the earth for it! Gah!

Oh dear....... crying again at chairmanwow crying now (sorry lovely!) - note to oneself.... must stop making friends cry! lol! ....

re your transverse munchkin! my sisters baby turned the day she was born... hold the faith........... she will turn xxx

somewherebecomingrain I do agree that mature parents have so much more experience to share with the mini's me's! Fab news that your friends all had success with IVF - If DH was a little younger, we would keep trying without IVF but time is marching on ... and we need to get moving!

Wishing everyone a HAPPY MONDAY xxx

Knicky Vintage Vinyl night was fab, but find it hard to dance sedately to the trash of my youth... owch poor hips and pelvis!

Cyclecamper We ended up having to see SIL yesterday...when we were going she 'hugged' me from so far way I was tempted to tell her I wasn't toxic on contact!

Far Breton good stuff...my ex was Breton!

Scarecrow I know, there's going to be a race for the line!

Chummy Hang on in there!

ChairmanWow Haven't heard anything back from the ET yet...just hope they don't leave it til the last minute....

At least dancing took my mind off of the chaos!

Knicky Thinking of the Olympics makes me sick, and I wasn't even pregnant

Hoping the planned routine with DD goes as planned! At least my DD knows her own routine!

Somewhere Been wanting to watch True Blood forever!

Kangaroo Hmmm...Hugh Jackman.... possibly?

ChairmanWow Could have been worse, could have typed foo massage! Johnny Depp definitely gets my vote, though Michael Fassbander is an acquired taste!

Scarecrow Though possibly, Colin Firth could assist....

LottieH My family mostly not talking to me.... and half of DH's on side of his ex...makes life more difficult. Everybody seems to think they have to state pity about this pregnancy...when I'm delighted!

Scarecrow Just yearn for chocolate now I can't have it with the pg diabetes!

at Mrs Woosters vision of pineapple and curry eating shagathon!
Can also identify with the being unprepared...I managed to get chucked out of the Guides...

ChairmanWow Actually, that department only good thing I've found about being pg...was the same with DD. But DH seems to think am made of cotton-wool!

MrsW Be as shallow as you like, was just admiring your sense of style!

Knicky From your waiter choice (and the fact I can picture them exactly), we must be about the same age .

Passes pineapple!

Scarecrow EEEEEEW No! Neither of Wham, thanks you very much! If it had to be one of Duran Duran, John Taylor! I was defo more a Robert Smith/Ian Astbury of The Cult kind of girl.... possibly Billy Idol too....

Chummy Conceived twins (which I lost) at 43, now this LO at 45... all naturally. Was refused any fertility treatment.../tests/anything....

My DH is 48....

Scarecrow Would echo what you are saying, plus...chill! Relaxing seems to be the key....

somewhere If we're doing film star crushes, my embarrassing ones were Daniel Day Lewis circa My Beautiful Launderette, and Rupert Everett c 'Another Country'.... that's fairly embarrassing!

ChairmanWow I did the whole teenage goth thing.... Robert Smith, Ian Astbury, and Andrew Eldritch!

Chummy A fellow Daniel Day Lewis fan!

ChairmanWow ARRRGH! For the move.... fingers and toes crossed it all goes through and goes well xxxx

Me... had fun with poisonous SIL yesterday....MIL convinced us to come over for tea and see her...gritted teeth all around, and she 'hugged' me as if I were devil spit. Wanted to say I wasn't contagious.... her sweet daughter hugged me like she meant it though. As DH's DD was there, narrowly avoided running into DH's ex...

Apart from that, hanging on in there for 20 week scan and trying not to spend money I haven't got on ebay... DH and I have stinking cold, so have been skulking around sniffling. Just when lovely Polish friend lent me her Dream Genii...worked for one night then cold put paid to sleeping!

Well we're sorted re the move. Exchanged at 3.30pm after much nagging from me and DH. My PGP is a nightmare tonight from all the packing and cleaning. My wonderful DH said he'd do everything but I felt too guilty. So it's cocodamol and birth ball for me tonight. Much sadness when we went to say tara to our lovely neighbours. We're only moving a mile up the road but will really miss having them next door. They've totally doted on DS so he'll miss playing there (theyve got better toys as well!).

Chummy your SIL sounds utterly charming. She must be a joy to be around. Does your DH say anything to her about her odious behaviour?