Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

[eagleray]

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome

eagle sooo lovely to see you pop in! Really wonderful to hear things are settling down and that baby eagle is doing well. Very grateful for the tips - love the look of cheeky wipes aswell. Hope to be able to join you soon on the grad thread.
scarecrow you poor love. Just checked the time that you posted and said you were still at work 9.30pm?? It sounds like you're putting in incredibly long days - when are you planning to start mat leave? Being on leave has made such a difference for me (though rather annoyingly I have to go in for a full day at work tomorrow - just hope my waters don't break in the middle of one of the meetings....or maybe I do hope one sure fire way of wrapping the meeting up nice and quick....!) Got to say damned pleased I didn't hear that snippet on Radio 4 - I mean FFS! Doesn't it matter more that the baby will be loved and nurtured for rather than focus on the bloody age of us ladies.....??

chairman ooh I've never posted in AIBU - I'm a bit nervous to, just in case I get flamed for something - I'm such a wimp! Lovely to see you back - though must be so flipping frustrating about your move date. I think moving house is one of the most stressful things in the world esp when trying to buy and sell at the same time - I dread the time that we'll be doing it all over again but at least I won't be 8 months pregnant....hope that final cut off date means your buyer now gets a shifty on otherwise they'll deserve the placenta'd curtains.....)
MrsW you enjoy that you time. You and I both know it'll probably be another 10 years before we see that again .
Waves to freckler and lottieH you're both very welcome - lovely to have you both on board. (lottieH I had dreadful MS with both DD and this one too. Know what that's like - gentle hugs and much sympathy - mine finally passed around 18 weeks - fingers crossed yours will do the same)
somewhere are you all settled in now? Fab to hear DH is loving the job too.
Hi to cycle, chummy (still crossing fingers your news will be good news), and badmissm
AFM - I'm doing fine, a bit blinking ache-y but nearly reached 37 weeks now so what I do expect?! Loving the blissful peaceful nature of mat leave, though starting to find rolling out of bed in the morning difficult - a crane would be handy at this point. I just feel like I want to get on with things now, though still nervous at what point labour may strike. Much as I think it would be amusing to break my waters in John Lewis - I really don't want to look like I've wet myself in a public place. I'll save that for a few decades down the line .

X post with the lovely somewhere.

Yes somewhere is right chummy the 40+ thread in conception is fab for support, tips and helpful advice on all things conception wise if things aren't to be this time. I stayed on there for a good 18 months and the ladies are incredibly knowledgable. All that said, I still have my fingers crossed for you.

Am so glad I've found this thread - you all sound great, friendly, with a good sense of humour & just the sort of people who will help cheer me up as I lie in bed for days on end with crappy Hyperemesis! I've been spending most of my days listening to Radio 4 or looking at FB but can now see myself getting rapidly addicted to Mumsnet!

Eagleray congratulations on the eaglet. Know what you've gone through re the weight loss worry - although sounds like the initial over-calculation of birth weight didn't help & confused everyone. I spent many sleepless nights snivelling & worrying about all mine as they all lost shedloads of weight in the 1st few weeks & dreadful red book charts, pro-bottle MIL and anti-breast HVs didn't help. I also mixed fed for 3 of mine & then reverted to pure breast when I got my confidence back. Am now a bf peer supporter so if any of you ever need any advice or just moral support let me know.

ChairmanWow good luck with your move & of course the impending birth! We did the same - moved just before having our DD1 and remember being induced and trying to escape from hospital to go home & unpack all the boxes as there was still so much to do. I love your placenta in curtains comment!!

Chummy keeping everything crossed for you. X

Scarecrow22 re 5 its actually not as bad as it sounds as age gap has got bigger as time has gone by. DD1 is now nearly 12 and is a fantastic help - will iron the husband's shirts, make supper, read to the little ones etc (all in return for pocket money). The others are about as much help as a chocolate teapot bless them. I would always say the worst time of my child-rearing was 2 weeks after the birth of DD1 when DH had gone back to work & I hadn't a clue what I was doing. Didn't have PND but was a v difficult time. Also the months I've spent with the horrendous sickness have been dreadful (but always worth it at the end!)

ps missed World at One yesterday but would certainly have been growling at the radio if I'd heard it!

Eagleray Great to hear from you, glad baby eagle is growing well now .

Chummy Fingers crossed for you here too.

Scarecrow 9.30 and still at work - that's rotten! I have 3 weeks full time temping starting on monday and then I'm going to try to keep it down to 2 or 3 days a week - I feel so rotten when I get home at gone 8 - especially as most jobs start between 7.45 and 8.30 am, which often means leaving home at 6.40am. The job coming up has 2 9pm finishes a week, but I have negotiated to start at midday for most of those - normal hours are 7.45 - 7 which is bad enough! I keep telling myself how much we need the money, but it doesn't seem worth making pregnancy hard for myself the only time in my life I will be pregnant. I am trying to work out what we can cut back on so that I don't need to work for the next year or 2.

I went to the pregnancy yoga last night which was really nice. I probably won't have time to get to the next 3, but I'm definitely going to try and get to the ones after that - a bit of flexibility can't do any harm and it was nice and relaxing: it felt quite luxurious to take and hour and a half which was just for me with nothing else that I should be doing.

The dr today said that everything is going well, so that's good. I feel as though it's all moving quite fast now - GTT test booked, 25 wk midwife booked, antenatal course booked. I should have some free time in this job to go swimming, so I'm going to find out about that as well.

I have managed to vacuum the house this week, as my husband has managed to go to work in the afternoons: he has bad asthma and currently is really struggling and a nasty grey colour, so I can't clean when he's in the house because he can't breathe. It's been a while since it was this clean here!

Cyclecamper, you are amazing, working long hours and pg ! I PM you. Hope you don't mind.
Scarecrow, hope you feelbetter today. Don't stay too long at work. Unless you are self employed, no job/employer is worth it, your pg is the most important thing today. I have dedicated 5 years to my former employer, working like a donkey not counting my hours to be made redundant at the beginning of my 3rd trimester for them to make more profit by outsourcing in Easter Europe...
Chummy, hope you get good news today
LottieH, 5 kids, you are amazing ! Truly

Crossed posts with eagle - that's brilliant hon! So pleased to read you are back up and at 'em! Such good news re eaglet's weight. Very useful list - I will peruse in detail.

Knicky so glad you are peaceful - perfect. How is mr Knicky these days? Are you planning to move? Very wise to leave until after the birth is lf so - how come we all can't be so wise? Good luck for your day at work.

Sorry not to respond in detail I can't find a moment to absorb everyone's posts xxx

Hey cycle great news that the doc says its looking good and appointments moving along. PG is gruelling and I can't imagine a harder job - during pregnancy - than being a nanny! So impressed you are continuing and I think its v sensible to plan to cut down. Well done for getting to pg yoga - I actually think excersise is an essential investment having not done any first time.

lottie you sound v wise - keep it coming. Are you also a midwife or is that someone else?

Xxx

Hello ladies! May I join you? I am 40 and 9 weeks today. This is my first and I'm showing already can't believe I had to buy maternity trousers already because basically none of my bottoms fit except leggings. Was pleasantly surprised by the really comfy and flattering gear out there and the 30% discount on the jeans from GAP! So so comfy now...bliss!

Evening. Eagle, interesting insight on IV fluids and iffy birth weight... With hindsight that fits DS situation exactly. Something to be aware of this time. DS calling, so general hi to all, ta ra.

Hello everyone, hope you don't mind if I join you . I'm 41 and just 5 weeks following IVF. We started trying 10 years ago so I am in a bit of shock really that its happened. So far so good, but this week felt tearful each day which I am putting down to hormones. I am hoping that at 40 I can be a calm mum but at the moment I feel pretty out of control of everything ahead of me so I am taking it day by day and thinking everything I feel and think is normal. I hope by joining this thread I can support others and also I hope you can reassure me too. Good luck everyone.

Eagle - we had terrible trouble with DS's weight in the early days (he was admitted to hospital and on a drip at one point) but once he started gaining the weight there was no stopping him. He's a strapping healthy 23 month old now. Glad you're on your way too. It's horrible.

Swaye and Kangaroo - huge congrats! Hope you both have lovely pregnancies.

Kangarookaz congratulations! Yes, its quite normal for all those hormones to start kicking in now & causing you to burst into tears for what seems like no reason at all. But even without that the very fact that what you've waited for for 10 years has finally happened is certainly also good reason to make you feel like that. I think it's fantastic! X

Congratulations Swaye too and glad you've got yourself kitted out! X

Somewherebecomingrain thanks for referring to me as 'wise' :-) I'm not sure I'd describe myself as that but certainly have loads of experience both good & bad re breastfeeding. Only fed DD1 and 2 till about 6m, then DS till 2.5 then DD3 till 5 (don't laugh - never intended for her to feed for that long - it just happened that way but stopped feeding her in public long ago). Am not a midwife but I did see another new lady on here in the last few days who is. X

Knickyknocks thanks for the sympathy re the sickness. I truly hope mine also disappears by 18w like yours as I just want to be able to look after my family again and open the fridge without retching etc! Hope you are enjoying that blissful countdown to D-day! X

Wow this is like a party (okay I don't get out much!) - lots of lovely sounding newcomers. More wisdom, more support and laughs. Welcome to the snug - and feel free to bring yummy things except Lottie - sorry about horrid sickness too.

Finally got home at midnight last night. Can't leave - its not that kind of job - but eta home By 8.30 today, which is good for me. In fairness partic tough week as one colleague travelling, five taken half term leave (not sure how this was allowed to happen) so only me out of norm team of 7. And it's over! I am allowing myself a rare moment of (semi) pride for surviving with no visible mess ups. Er, yet. Plus now have lovely lovely friend staying for weekend - an get to hang out with DD Lots and lots!!!
Curiously I came home and bec so tired and hormonal - hurrah for another hormonal mum to be, Kangaroo, as you existing lot sound so sane to me - I sat and sobbed by DD's cot. I tied not to buy was overwhelmed by it all and missing her childhood. She didn't wake but this morning for the first time on weeks she snuggled up to me for a cuddle and was even sweeter and more gentle than usual. It was just what I needed. I swear sometimes she has a special sense for or bond with me. But maybe hormones talking nonsense.

Anyway, happy week over. Four more to go!

Baby brain forgotten all news. V selfish. Will post again, waves for now xx

Wow this is like a party (okay I don't get out much) - lots of lovely sounding newcomers. More wisdom, more support and laughs. Welcome to the snug - and feel free to bring yummy things Except Lottie - sorry about horrid sickness.

Finally got home at midnight last night. Can't leave work before done - its not that kind of job - but eta home By 8.30 today, which is good for me. In fairness partic tough week as one colleague travelling, five taken half term leave (not sure how this was allowed to happen) so only me out of norm team of 7. And it's over! I am allowing myself a rare moment of (semi) pride for surviving with no visible mess ups. Er, yet. Plus now have lovely lovely friend staying for weekend - and get to hang out with DD Lots and lots!!!
Curiously I came home last night and bec so tired and hormonal - hurrah for another hormonal mum to be, Kangaroo, as you existing lot sound so sane to me - I sat and sobbed by DD's cot. I tried not to but was overwhelmed by it all and missing her childhood. She didn't wake but this morning for the first time in weeks she snuggled up to me for a cuddle (she's never been a cuddler) and was even sweeter and more gentle than usual. It was just what I needed. I swear sometimes she has a special sense for or bond with me. But maybe hormones talking nonsense.

Anyway, happy week over. Four more to go!

Baby brain forgotten all news. V selfish. Will post again, waves for now xx

I'll echo what somewhere said, scarecrow, if you are that unhappy at work, quit while you're ahead!

somewhere Glad to hear that DP loving new job!

Chummy Do you know yet??????

I'm also a long way from London (where I'm from). At home my age wouldn't raise an eyebrow, here it seems to make me a circus freak!

ChairmanWow The workplace culture thing...I'm going through the world's longest employement tribunal without the benefit of a union, as they dumped me the day before the first case hearing... having failed to deliver the caseform to their solicitors for 2 years...

I was ahead because of gestational diabetes...had DD at 31 weeks and she was still over 3kg....

eagleray Sounds like everything going so much better now! 'Waves'!!!!

somewhere I would agree with work having freudian layers...my last job completely buggered my head on many levels....

knicky You must be so glad to finally be on Mat Leave! Have a blissful couple of weeks relaxing!

Lottie It is damned addictive...I only joined Mumsnet a couple of months ago!

Am hoping my 14 year old DD suddenly becomes fantastically helpful when the LO is born...time will tell!

cyclecamper Sounds like you are getting on brilliantly now. Think you're wise keeping the full-time work to a minimum if you can...sounds like they have everything in control at your end!

Cleaning, what is this cleaning you speak of (lol)? Our house is so vertical, and our hoover so damn heavy, anything above ground level may be dustier than intended...

BBD I agree with what you said to scarecrow No employer is worth that level of commitment unless it's yourself! Like BBD, I gave 6 years to last employer working more than I should, for crap pay, and they thanked me by disciplining me for nothing and dismissing me on made-up grounds...

Waves hello to Swaye!!!

Waves to KangarooKaz You must be sooooooo happy!

Lottie Hope sickness easing off!

I'm now 18 +3 and have begun to feel some baby wiggles now. Downright pokes in bed last night! Don't have scan til 6 March though....

Eagle fab to hear your good news.
Cycle, Knicky, et al thanks for kind words - cycle my hours long but I salute you doing such long days with children. Presumably tougher because temp so you won't know them, or are you that much of a pro? Glad work if you need it though.
Somewhere (are you going to fess up about your name or am I wrong about PL?!) really interesting ideas about work anxiety. It makes wise sense to me re anxieties if organisation - we are shedding staff, a friend in maternity leave has had her job axed and we have balloted for industrial action. Tumult literally and emotionally upsetting how things run above me, with notable impact on me and colleagues. But I know no other life and would love it if it calmed down. I think! Scaredy cat.
Chairman you are v v v brave to go on AIBU. I am actually scared of those ladies

Cross posted, BadMiss, but had been wondering where you'd gone. Glad to hear not spring cleaning! Waves

chummy scarecrow yes it's from PL whitsun weddings - after they marry the go off "like a shower of arrows somewhere becoming rain". picked the name whilst trying to conceive and it seemed appropriate. Us ordinary folk setting off on our journey with our hopes and dreams of fertility and perpetuating the life cycle.

swaye and kangarooz welcome and congratulations!

lottie big sympathies re sickness - it was all i could talk about in great detail for the three months i had it and everyone was v sympathetic so pleased to return that favour - feel free to let of steam about it!

scarecrow v sweet re DD - magical

xx

Somewhere that is beautiful (the Larkin thing, not the sick...). As an English teacher I should have recognised it but clearly am not as good as I thought I was!

Thanks for the welcomes and congrats everyone!!

KangarooKaz, I was right where you are 4 weeks ago. It was such a shoclk to be pregnant, we didn't think we could for several reasons and then bam!! I was crying for about 2 weeks but it passed and now I am happy - still nervous but happy. I thought I was going crazy crazy crazy!! It does pass and it is the hormones xx

MissM, sorry to hear you're not getting ET support. I hope this isn't horribly stressful for you

Scarecrow - good to see you all sticking up for your colleague. Awful that the woman on mat leave is being targetted. Hope you win, and that things calm down. I'd stay away from AIBU if things are too hectic. They are a tough bunch. Had my first flaming yesterday for standing up to breastfeeding zealots. Ouch!!

So, we'll find out today whether we're moving before the baby. We've given next Tuesday as the last day we're prepared to move. Ridiculous that it's the Friday before and we don't know yet, but that's evil buyers for you. Husband off today packing. Possibly unpacking later! We're both very incensed. DH thinks we should leave some cat poo under the kitchen units. I'm plumping for used cat litter in the washing machine. Only joking. I think...

MrsW and I, as a fellow English teacher, was hanging my head in shame at not recognising it! I'm obviously seriously out of practice. Though did recognise several poems DD has been doing in English from nothing but her garbled descriptions, which made me feel better!

Waves to scarecrow! Don't worry, was only contemplating spare room clean because have't unpacked half of it (my clothes and shoes, done all the hosue stuff!), and because I need to use it for a nursery and I need space for -all the baby things I seem to have been buying- the LO!

somewhere That's a beautiful name... makes mine very simplistic!

Welcome Swaye!

ChairmanWow Has basically been extremely stressful and constant since 2007, with no sign of an end yet... it was I'm sure major contributory factor in me losing twins 2 years ago. I'm currently trying to let it go right over my head as much of it is out of my control.... I am determined it is not going to ruin his pregnancy as it has done for much of mine and DD's lives the past 6 years...

I'm scared of the AIBU ladies, after I was flamed for sticking up a little for postmen (and attempting to explain why they do things- DH a postie).

OMG they have still not told you when they are moving? Definitely 'dead fish in the curtain poles' time!

Hi, I've been lurking in the background for a while reading your threads and I've decided to join as I'm desperate for advice, I'm 43 and 6 weeks 4 days pregnant, this will be my 6th baby my others are aged 22,18,10,6 and 2, my problem is even though I've taken 3 pregnancy tests all positive i just don't feel pregnant, I've always had morning sickness by 6 weeks with my others and I just don't have any symptoms, I did have a miscarriage a few years ago at 8 weeks and I remember at the time I hadn't had morning sickness upto when it happened, so now I'm thinking is the same going to happen again, I was just wondering if anyone else started with morning sickness after 6 weeks?

Somewherebecomingrain thanks re the sickness. Bizarrely this morning it hasn't been too bad and woke up at 5am with a major craving for tinned salmon so went downstairs & polished off half a large tin of it! Now panicking that something is wrong if sickness goes .... never happy!

Seeing all your posts about AIBU. Can anyone tell me where their thread is - they sound amusing & terrifying in equal measure!

BadmissM which county are you in? It is interesting to work out where the most prejudiced are living! I'm in Essex but I'm constantly surprised by reactions - it's often been the people I least expect to be accepting to be not and vice versa. The MIL's exact words on DH's announcement take the biscuit: "Oh God - you SILLY FOOL", followed by "how are you going to cope?" (she has a good point as I only have 4 children already, therefore v little experience of children, no cot, no car seat, no clothes etc). Conversation ended with her advising him to "get himself chopped off". Here endeth my rant. She is nice sometimes...

Hope your DD will be helpful with the new addition - the cash incentive certainly did the trick with mine (but only once she'd assured me she'd done her homework in a non-slapdash way).

Great you're feeling wrigglings. Am so looking forward to that bit!

Scarecrow what a long workday you have and what a sweet DD too; she must have totally tuned into how you were feeling yesterday morning, bless her.

Pompom. Don't fear the worst as my sickness started at different times. It could well be that your body is particularly fit & healthy this pregnancy and therefore isn't making you feel sick as you have all the nutrients you need right now. Why don't you ask your mw for an early scan at the EPU for peace of mind? x