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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you tell the father that you were pregnant?

39 replies

FoofFighter · 09/12/2012 17:44

I found out I am pregnant again this morning. We lost a baby earlier this year, missed miscarriage, I'm scared but also thinking should I not tell OH just yet, let him have another couple of weeks of blissful ignorance and enjoy Xmas without stressing about another mc? No point in us both worrying?

Or is it hugely wrong to not tell the father right away?

What did you do in your pregnancies, and what would you do in my case?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Wishfulmakeupping · 09/12/2012 17:54

In my case he knew before me! Told me to take a test as he thought I was.
I think you should share the news with him, please enjoy it together and feel positive without stress. Congratulations

HazleNutt · 09/12/2012 18:11

I told him immediately. I would tell him - just because you had one miscarriage, it does not mean you are more likely to have another, I had one immediately before my current pregnancy as well. Surely he would be happy to hear the news?

meditrina · 09/12/2012 18:14

I would tell him. I really hope you do not miscarry, but if you do he'll want to help you.

Shybairns · 09/12/2012 18:18

Why on earth should you have to cope alone? I think this is one of those things that you should go through together.

MurderOfGoths · 09/12/2012 18:21

Immediately. I'd tell him. I suspect he'd rather be able to support you if the worst happened, rather than you dealing with it alone.

CatchingMockingbirds · 09/12/2012 18:23

We fell pregnant 2 weeks after a mc. I thought about not telling him until later but then thought that of anything happened I'd definitely need his support so told him 3 minutes after finding out! I'm glad I did as he listened to every worry I had and has been great. We're 4 months now

TwitchyTail · 09/12/2012 20:40

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hhhhhhh · 09/12/2012 20:44

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noisytoys · 09/12/2012 21:08

I'd tell him. I concieved DD2 2 weeks after a miscarriage. She is 2 and half now

Weissdorn · 09/12/2012 21:22

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lookingfoxy · 09/12/2012 21:41

I think I managed about 5 days after I found out, basically delayed telling him for the same reasons as OP

NatashaBee · 09/12/2012 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmandaCooper · 09/12/2012 22:22

Goodness me tell him! Imagine how he'd feel about you going through it all on your own, particularly over Christmas. I'm sure he would want to share the news and be there to support you. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

nannyl · 09/12/2012 22:40

I told my OH within seconds of seeing 2 lines

always told him about every -ve test ive ever taken too

MyLittleAprilSunshine · 09/12/2012 23:08

5 minutes afte3r I had the positive. :)

TheRedQueen · 09/12/2012 23:24

About three days after I had a positive test. We had been trying for years and years (and had lots of fertility treatment) and I wanted it confirmed by blood tests before I got his hopes up.

StuckOnTopOfTheChristmasTree · 10/12/2012 06:16

Congratulations.
I'd also tell straightway as we're a team that deals with everything together - the good and the bad

Twinklestarstwinklestars · 10/12/2012 06:38

With dc1 it was a couple of weeks because I was shocked and we weren't getting on well at the time.

Dc2 straight away.

Dc3 I sent him a pic of the text which he showed to his workmates as he didn't know what it was!

SpanielFace · 10/12/2012 06:44

Straight away, but he'd guessed already!

You will need his support if something happens - I would tell him

OComeAllYeFaithBaby · 10/12/2012 09:40

We'd been TTC for a long time and were having a really tough time. 5 days before I got the BFP we agreed to stop TTC after I got my period . I tested when I got home form work (twice after I got two lines on the first one!). I waited for about half an hour after he got home, took a deep breath and showed him the tests. I had no idea who he'd react after everything we'd said but he was really happy :)

The longer you wait, the harder it will be to tell him. I'm sure he'll notice anyway. You can't face this on your own until after Christmas! Just tell him. You need his support - you're in it together.

LittlemissChristmas · 10/12/2012 09:51

I have had 3 mc's previously. We got pregnant this time while waiting for our appt to come through for recurrent mc clinic so not actively ttc.
I was terrified as knew I was preg as AF had not arrived. Did a test and DH was really happy, said it was meant to happen and really supportive.
I really needed him to know so he could understand why I was so scared and support me. Now 13 weeks and still scared but don't think that ever goes. Tell him!

AlphaBeta82 · 10/12/2012 09:55

I told DH straight away every time and have had multiple MCs. If this doesn't go to plan you will need him there, if it does he deserves to share in the excitement as much as you. It is never easy after a MC but just remember you are in it together. x

SeeYouSoon · 10/12/2012 10:31

He was in the bathroom with me when I did the test. Tell him, my dh would be so upset if he thought I felt I had to go through that alone.

SparklySanta · 10/12/2012 11:04

The first very faint positive I showed DH straight away, waved the stick in his face, but he couldnt see it so I thought I was imagining it. AF didnt arrive the next day, so I took a test but we were staying at my friends house, so I waited for the test to develop hiding in the bathroom, then I had this amazing secret that I wasnt able to tell DH until we went to bed that evening, so maybe 6 hours after I'd got absolute confirmation.

I wouldnt keep it from him, I think he might be more upset by not knowing. and this would be an amazing boost over christmas! congratulations

weeblueberry · 10/12/2012 12:17

I had to wait the (excruciating) 25 minutes before he got home from work. I'd only done the test because the pharmacist asked if I was pregnant and I sort of laughed at her and told her no. But it put the seed of doubt in my mind. Then when I got home I did test, assuming it would be negative. But man...it was fairly conclusive. As were the 5 tests I did afterwards (and the one I made DP pee on to make sure the batch wasn't faulty...)

I can't imagine how he'd have felt if he'd thought I had gone through anything like that alone. You're a team. What happens to you with a pregnancy happens to both of you. Please do involve him. x

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