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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

does anyone else get hung up on pregnancy weight gain?

23 replies

AlphaBeta82 · 03/12/2012 10:35

I'm so pleased to be having a healthy pregnancy with dc2 at last after lots of problems but last pregnancy I gained a whopping 4 stone and everyone went on about my size. Since falling pregnant my family won't stop saying 'you don't want to get as big as last time' 'and don't eat too much' etc etc. I'm 14 weeks and gained 4 lbs so far but started about 1 stone over weight. I feel horrid when I step on scales and am trying to eat healthy etc but it gets me down that everyone keeps going on about especially my mum! Any tips for handling?

Ps I did spend 2 months on steroids last pregnancy and likely I will at some point in this pregnancy too!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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weeblueberry · 03/12/2012 10:52

Yep!

Slightly different situation from you as this is my first. But before I got pregnant I lost a lot of weight (in large part to get pregnant...) and so was happy to see the scales go down every week. Now they're consistently going up (I'm 17+4) and I'm finding it a lot more difficult than I thought I would. You need to tell your mum that her stressing you out about the weight is doing a lot more harm than the weight you may gain.

weeblueberry · 03/12/2012 10:56

Should say I'm 17+4 weeks, not 17+4 stone...

Hippolyta20 · 03/12/2012 11:28

Totally with you on this. Want a healthy baby but scary seeing scales go up and up.
MIL started "helpfully" warning me about putting on too much weight at about 2 months but then she dieted through her pregnancy and my DH was born premature and underweight. I am 20 weeks now and have put on about 9/10 pounds.
For me we have approached this by giving her a bit of information (eg baby + placenta + extra fluid etc weighs around 2 stone by the end).
Also made sure get some support from DH in front of her (ie he thinks I look good, normal to put on weight, focussing on healthy baby and so on).
Trying to remember as well that it is her own insecurities rather than her perception of me but that is of course far easier said than done!

stowsettler · 03/12/2012 12:01

I was a bit hung up on it to start with, but I'm just not worrying now. My eating preferences are so up in the air that I'm just going with the flow (the 'flow' usually being crisps and cake!). I'm 29+5 and heading for about a 3.5 stone gain but I must admit I don't look as if I've put that much on.
I'm very much the type to hit the gym as soon as possible, so hopefully with that, BF and getting back on the Weightwatchers the extra flab won't hang around too long.

PeshwariNaan · 03/12/2012 12:06

TBH, your family doesn't sound supportive at all. Surely they realise that being only 14 weeks along is much to early to start poking you about weight gain? Why do they care more about weight gain and your health? Steroids make people put on lots of weight - obviously they were medically necessary. Would they do the same to someone in the family who'd been put on steroids for a different medical reason? Why is it OK to be so rude to a pregnant woman who actually does have to nourish her baby?

My mother and sister have eating disorders, and I'm 34 weeks and have gained about two stone. My mother thinks I need to start dieting now. I ignore her because that's nuts. My baby needs to be putting on weight so she is healthy at the birth.

Just eat healthily - make good choices - and please don't get on the scale more often than necessary. I'd distance myself from my family if they were going to go on as they are doing.

PeshwariNaan · 03/12/2012 12:06

*weight gain THAN your health - sorry

Original poster

AlphaBeta82 · 03/12/2012 12:21

Thanks all, my family have always been obsessed with weight etc and it has led me to having some quite bad 'image' and body issues before. I'm a tall and broad girl, normally about a size 12 but on falling pregnant was a size 14 this time. I suppose I was thinking that my weight gain and body shape changing was ok , honestly I thought it was a healthy progression, until everyone keeps going on about it. After 3 MCs getting here I just want to tell them all to shut up and my main concern is keeping this baby healthy!

P.S. should add other than these comments my family and mum are lovely just not very diplomatic or tactful!!

OP posts:

maximusminimus · 03/12/2012 19:05

Yep. I was fine with DD1 since I never weighed myself and liked having boobs for the first time ever...

With DC2, I'm giving birth in the USA, where they seemingly weigh you EVERY SINGLE TIME you see a doctor. The nurse then makes a face about how much you've put on... It's nuts (I just do not understand the need for it), and has actually really affected me. I don't feel like I've put on as much as weight as the scales say (other than bump and boobs, I don't think I've changed size at all and still fit in the same clothes...), so seeing the numbers go up every time is horrible. I haven't been nearly as relaxed about eating this time around, since I know that I have to be weighed every other Wednesday...

So no real advice, just some support :)

Bunnychan · 03/12/2012 19:11

I'm the opposite! I am looking really fat- my trunk is very wide now :-( I'm eating loads but embracing being able to and yet I weigh the same as my pre-pg weight at the mo. I don't mind gaining as long as its not a ridiculous amount but its worrying me that I haven't. Mind you, I'm going to see if the mw weighs me at 16 week appointment (when I'm 17 weeks :-/ ) x

maximusminimus · 03/12/2012 22:29

So weird isn't it... I'm half expecting this baby to come out made of lead...

Sure I've also been told that looking bigger 'around' rather than infront means it's a girl. Or maybe a boy... One or the other anyway!

curiousuze · 04/12/2012 06:29

I was at first because I was reading a lot of stuff about weight on US sites, but they don't weigh you in the uk so I decided to forget about it! I also put my bathroom scales in the loft and I'm now way too fat to get up there and get them :)

I have similar issues to you with family making comments, but I've felt so crappy through the whole pregnancy that I just stopped caring about what I ate in the end.

MoleyMick · 04/12/2012 07:11

I was with my first because my sister had gained just 13 kilos in both her pregnancies and I ended up gaining 27!! I felt really bad about myself and would cry about it which I regret now, because it shouldn't have been my focus. And within about eight months it came off, with very little effort, just returning to normal life. So with DC2 I made myself not worry. I ended up gaining the same amount, and now that DC2 is 9 months, it's all gone. I had comments about my weight from very slim mum and sister, but importantly, DH was supportive. I think it's such a shame women are made to get so hung up on this try to forget about it, treat yourself, stay healthy and shake any unsupportive comments off. Easier said than done I know!!

CityDweller · 04/12/2012 09:09

I think so long as you're eating a balanced healthy diet (note to self: does not equal daily ration of cake) then don't worry about it. I've gained at an increasingly rapid rate over the last month (18-22 wks), but I've also been away so eating more than my fair share of treats and second helpings. Or maybe it's just the stage of my pregnancy, who knows. I do keep an eye on my weight and compare it to a pregnancy weight gain chart, just to make sure I'm not wildly off the projected gain, but I try not to get too worried about it. It's hard though, I know, especially if you've previously been overweight and lost it.

weeblueberry · 04/12/2012 10:17

I'm now 17+6 and have gained 8lbs. . Weighed myself this morning and have hit the dreaded 13 stone which I really wasn't looking forward to. It sounds so pathetic and I'm soooo grateful to be pregnant but I just hope I don't go nuts with the weight gain...

bonzo77 · 04/12/2012 10:33

. It's so difficult. Everyone thinks they can comment on your body when you're pregnant. And when especially when you've suffered loss(es) it can just be another stick to beat yourself with. I like to look at it from a health point of view. Wanting to avoid GD, and health problems after the birth if I remain over weight long term. But actually, I've had food issues sincey early teens. I secretly relished the weight loss that came with morning sickness. And that I never regained that loss after mc. Then got pg again and lost more. Now at 35 weeks I've gained 17lb. Not that much really. But baby is small, I've had problems with his growth all through my 3rd trimester and am having an ELCS on Thursday as a result. I don't know that if I'd eaten better I might not have had these problems. I've not exactly starved myself, I don't look skinny. But yes, my weight gain has been on my mind since the ms went.

bonzo77 · 04/12/2012 10:34

Sorry, posting from phone with new app. First few words missing....

Should be

bonzo77 · 04/12/2012 10:35

Oh whatever. Wtf!

BraveLilBear · 04/12/2012 10:39

I'm still in the very early stages (6+2) but am very wary of piling ont he pounds later on. To start with, I've been sticking to the exact same diet I was on previously, but the near-constant nausea (ie eat something, goes away, comes back half an hour to an hour later) means that my normal diet is being shelved intermittently for snacky crap.

I'm hoping this phase will pass in time but it is a worry. OP I think your family are being very harsh - sure, they're looking out for you, but there's better ways to do that than criticise you. Good luck with it.

StuckOnTopOfTheChristmasTree · 04/12/2012 15:50

This is def the thread for me - so we can offer mutual support!
Yes I want to be healthy, but its so hard not to have a snack when I feel sick because I know that it will give some relief to the nausea.

I never used to obsess in the mirror - but I can't stop checking to look for signs that I'm putting on too much weight. Wierdly I seem to fluctuate day by day so I think a big part of it must be water and digestion bloating.

I still haven't got any witty retorts though for people making comments, at the moment I just seem to ignore and move the topic onto something else.

woody2313 · 05/12/2012 06:47

Other people's comments really don't help though - yesterday, at work, 3 separate people commented on how 'huge' I am now and seemed to find this hilarious The thing is, I'm 33 weeks and have put on about 25 pounds which I don't think is too bad... my family keep telling me that I'm 'all bump' but now I think they're just trying to be kind... People wouldn't ever make (face-to-face) comments to someone who's just overweight, so why is suddenly acceptable to remark on - and laugh hilariously - a pregnant woman's size?!

woody2313 · 05/12/2012 06:50

The thing is, I was always going to put on weight because I used to run and Zumba 3-4 times a week, but have been extra cautious during the pregnancy and haven't done either of these things since I found out I was pregnant... so hopefully when I can re-start exercising my body will start getting back to normal.

Original poster

AlphaBeta82 · 05/12/2012 08:42

I'm the same Woody, after 3 mcs I stopped all my normal exercise this as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I love running and cycling so will pick these up again as soon as baby born but I'm sure it impacts on weight gain.

I do find the comments hurtful though, even if I don't show it outwardly it really bothers me!

OP posts:

plonko · 05/12/2012 09:01

I cant believe some people's family can be so nasty!! Bonzo all the best for tomorrow, I bet you can't wait for squishy newborn cuddles

I'm 28 weeks and my bump has ballooned flourished in the last 6 weeks. I've no idea how much weight I've piled on though - after struggling with my weight and image in my teens I vowed never to own a pair of scales. I was an overweight kid but pre pregnancy I was a size ten and loved my body. Until the summer my job was very active, on my feet all day, lots of manual handling and running around like a loon.

I am now admin only, addicted to custard creams and constantly hungry! And I gave up smoking immediately when I got a bfp. I'm crossing everything that like moley I can get back to what I was!

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