Sorry if TMI but tearing during labour

[Mybangersmybeansandmash]

I have always been, how can I put this? Tight down below, sex often painful but something I deal with. I am now 5 months pregnant with DC1 and I am terrified because of this I'm going to really tear during labour, is there any truth in my fear? Does being 'tight' down below mean worse tearing? That's the main thing that is terrifying me about the birth.

God I'm so embarrassed about asking this so I've name changed!

I'm the same wrt sex. I did tear with DS but not very badly, a few stitches which healed no problem. Didn't feel a thing either (epidural). Have you heard of perineal massage? Could be worth a go. Good luck!

Plus my labour was induced and lying on my back with epidural. Maybe I wouldn't have torn if the circs had been better

I would also recommend perineal massage. I was guided towards this leaflet by another mumsnetter, hope it helps

www.oxfordradcliffe.nhs.uk/forpatients/090427patientinfoleaflets/090924perinealmassage.pdf

www.oxfordradcliffe.nhs.uk/forpatients/090427patientinfoleaflets/090924perinealmassage.pdf

Hi OP I had the same worry with DS as I've always been quite "tight" and (sorry if TMI) DH can never just slip in, has to go slowly and (shhhhh) he's not massive by any measure

So I made sure I told my MW and put it in my birth plan as a fear. My MW recommended not having an epidural so that I could feel when to push ( epidurals usually result in more tears and episiotomies as you push when you shouldn't or need forceps or ventouse) and then my lovely MW did the rest.

I don't think being tight means you are more susceptible to tearing, but worrying about it means you might not push as hard when you are told to etc. so I would really just make sure your MW's know this

I ended up with a grazed labia and 2 stitches, which was nothing when I got onto the ward compared to the other ladies in at the time.

I had your same worry during my first pregnancy. Was terrified of tearing. I did the perineal massage as someone recommended.

In the end I did tear, it was a 2nd degree tear, but didn't actually notice it at all. At that point in the labour I just wanted the baby OUT haha.

They say having a tear usually is less painful afterwards than having an episiotomy. I didn't find it too uncomfortable afterwards, had to sit down gently for a week or so and I would press some clean toilet paper against the stitches when I'd have to go to the toilet for a poo (sorry TMI, but this was such a lifesaving tip for me).

Am scared of tearing again now (second pregnancy), but at least having been through it before has given me heart that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (I was seriously more scared of the tearing than I was about the whole labour itself).

YY to perineal massage. I haven't tried it myself but I've heard good things about it and it's something positive you can do to help ease the worry.

I have 2 DC. For DC1 I had an episiotomy as I needed help with a kiwi cup to get him out. No idea how many stitches I had but it wasn't painful afterwards, just a bit uncomfortable as everything healed. I had a second degree tear and grazing with DC2. I didn't feel myself tear at all but the recovery this time has stung - more so the grazes than the tear TBH. Tea tree and lavender essential oils on my maternity pads have really helped, as has weeing in the shower!

I don't think it will have much bearing on the birth tbh.
I would describe myself as flinging a bannana up a close with regard to my fanjo size!! and I tore quite a lot, saying that I couldn't hear when the midwife was telling when to push as I was screaming so much
I had never even heard of tearing/episotomy until about half way through my pregnancy and I was terrified, it honestly was nothing though and didnt even notice that or the healing.

I'm pretty worried about this & have put 'no forceps' on my birth plan after reading Midwife's thread on MN where she revealed that they do like to use them as it hurries everything up at the end, particularly for first timers so they can move on to next poor sod and will say things like "the baby's in danger" etc to get agreement, which of course no one will ever question.

Of course that won't be true for every hospital but has made me scared & untrusting. No matter how wonderful and amazing they are, I always think that I'm just going to be one of many many women they will see & it must be hard for them not to get abit "hurry up" about it.

I'm especially nervous about this tearing/ cutting business, after being told that horse riders have 'perineums of iron'

I'll find out in a few weeks, aaaarrrggghh!!!!

I just wanted to say, I was concerned about tearing (who isn't) and I did during the very last part of labour. I was fully aware of it but strangely it didn't hurt and I was so focused on getting DD out it was ok.