ok lets talk about (ahem) sex!

[miarosemum]

so am 18 weeks pregnant with dc2, this is his first child as dd1 is from previous relationship. we have a very loving, happy relationship and have been living together for the last three years. we have'nt always had the most active of sex lives, (once a week the norm, although I would like more!), but since I have found out I am pregnant we have had sex ONCE!!! now I must admit in the beginning stages I was very tired/nauseous etc so not exactly feeling in the mood for lurve myself but this is ridiculous now! he says all he can imagine is his member hitting the baby on the head...hence me in fits of laughter that he shoudl be so bloody lucky if that happened!!! but seriously any words of wisdom out there...please don't let me be the only one lacking a love life..........

Well, I'm 38+3 and you can probably count on one hand the number of times we've done it since finding out!! Ok, maybe one and a half hands lol!

I've never had a brilliant sex drive anyway but even for me, that's not good.

DH said the same about hitting the baby and now, the baby 'seeing' it lol! However, as I'm now ready to burst, I am jumping on him more for obvious reasons and he doesn't decline!! So maybe that's the key - when you feel up to it, just make the first move!

Make the first move and reassure him that there's absolutely no way sex can hurt the baby.

Bah I'm 16 weeks and DH is gagging for it he says me being pregnant is a huge turn on for him I DON'T WANT IT. I can't be bothered I really can't.

Maybe show him on the internet how it can't hurt the baby and seduce him

Queen now you are just rubbing it in! Mb34 you are making me feel bit better, I thought dp would be attracted to me more being pregnant but no..I have dropped a few hints about having a nice romantic eve tomorrow night so we shall see

My boyfriend won't leave me alone and has become a bit of a sex pest. Think it's the boobs but they are so painful he's not coming near me! We used to be at it most nights (not TTC, this wasn't planned!) but now down to once a week. Again I'm 18 weeks gone and he's lucky if he gets it once a week now. Last time it felt like he was stabbing me with a blunt instrument. Also I'm so tired and really don't feel attractive (I'm very big for 18weeks)

I could have written your post OP. I've always had a higher sex drive than DH, but have been left quite upset this pregnancy that his enthusiasm dropped even more.There have been things in the way; first trimester exhaustion and then spd in the third trimester has left him saying no to sex in case he breaks me even more than I already am. I get what he means, and the pain from the spd is an issue but I'm getting desperate frustrated!

I spent ages thinking he'd just gone off me and would never fancy me again, but after a long talk it turns out he's just as frustrated, does in fact still fancy me (yay!) but was trying to be nice and not pressure me when I felt so rough.

Anyway, long post but could you try talking more and explaining how it's making you feel? Maybe also show him some information from a reputable source that he can't harm the baby (I love how optimistic they are about their reach!)?

Reassure him that not only will it not hurt the baby but that if you're getting lots of lovely hormones then it makes baby very happy indeed! I'm 20 weeks now and we had a pretty active sex life pre-kids but with two DCs finding the time is tricky. We do manage about 3-4 times a week though.

Well important update...dp came to bed after be last night feeling rather amorous and we dtd! It's put a lovely smile on my face today after so long! But an still going to have a chat with him, good advice pragmatic, so here is to the next 10 weeks with no love life I hope not!!

Glad you managed to persuade him :)

Personally I completely went off sex while pregnant, but me and DH found other ways to show our affection for each other (massages, bats together etc). Sometimes it led on to sex, sometimes it was just nice to be touched and to feel loved. Long term it's actually led to a better sex life as now he knows a lot more about me and what works for me :)