Probably the most stupid question ever asked...

[VickyU]

Hi there all. As the title of my thread suggests, this is probably a silly question but I'm going to ask it anyway so please don't laugh at me! So I understand that the advice is to be with the baby (ie. in the same room) while he sleeps for the first 6 months. But what I don't understand is that when you start attempting a routine (I'm guessing from 3 monthsish?!) you try to put him to sleep in his cot after a bath to establish the difference between night and day etc. Now if that is at, say, 7pm, does that mean I also have to go to bed at 7pm so that I am in the same room as him while he sleeps? I know he probably won't sleep anyway and it will be ages until he actually does sleep through and all of that, but in principle, do I leave him in our room at 7pm in his crib if he is asleep and then come to bed a bit later, or do I go to bed at the same time as him? I really hope that makes sense! I am happy to do whatever it takes to reduce all risks as I know every mother is, but I am finding this advice a bit confusing! Sorry for stupidity.

Baby should be in same room as you, for first six months. If you want to attempt a routine then put baby down in moses basket or similar in the room you are in.

Firstly don't worry about a routine for a newborn. Each baby is different. Theres no point being strict about routine until you have a feel for feeding/sleep pattern.

You don't have to be in the room when baby is asleep. When I did put ds down in the early eve I just checked on him regularly. He slept in our room until 6m.

We had DS in a carrycot with us downstairs until we went to bed, he would happily sleep whilst we watched tv etc. from about 2 months - before that he would be sleeping and waking for feeds every couple of hours. At about 4 months we then started putting him into his crib in our room after a bath and feed at about 9:30 and as we were so knackered we both ended up going to bed. Then he would happily be put down at 7pm and we would go back downstairs and have the monitor on, with the door open. We would creep in at about 11pm and go to bed and then he would wake at 4:30 for a feed. It was a good little routine and the only one as the day was all over the place, thank god he was a good night sleeper! At 6m he went into a big cot in his own room. You will work out what's good for you when the time comes but current advice is to have baby in the same room wherever you are day or night. Obviously you can't transport the baby all through the house like going to the loo or making yourself a sandwich in the kitchen etc.

It is not a stupid question at all. As evidenced by the fact that there is disagreement already on the answer.

The cot death guidance is that you should be in the same room as the baby when it is asleep. Whether or not you are awake isn't important. It's something to do with the baby having a presence in the room to "remind" it to breathe and keep it in a shallower sleep where it is unlikely to "forget" to breathe. (Not technical terms, sorry.) So you need to work out for yourself whether you find that guidance to be over cautious.

I wouldn't feel that the bedtime routine you use at an early age has to include the same sleeping location as the one you want for a later age, so I'd go with ItsAllGoingToBeFine's advice.

My daughter automatically put herself into her routine at about 8 weeks, but every baby is different. She is now almost 5 and still in the same routine

Agree with above, baby should sleep in the same room as you wherever that may be for first. 6 months. Please dont worry that you won't want to go to bed at 7pm, after a week or so you will be desperate to get back to bed at any time of the day.

Wait and see what happens. We put DD into a moses basket in the sitting room with us until we were ready to go to bed and then just took her through to sleep beside our bed. At 10 weeks I realised I was waking her up, not the other way round. We then started putting her into her cot while in her moses basket for naps, then all night and then finally in her grobag in her own room by maybe 4 months. She's slept 10-13 hours right through since 10 weeks. She's weird.

Eh, that wasn't the question though was it OP? Sorry, should have read properly. Anyway no you don't have to go to bed at 7.30. Moses basket in sitting room is fine til you're all ready for bed. Like Milkyjo said up there.

For the first few weeks dd slept in Moses basket in living room but then she got really ratty & wouldn't settle for a few nights and we realised that us chatting & the tv being on etc was actually stopping her from going to sleep, so we started putting her to bed in our room at 6ish, which is when she wanted to go to sleep and she'd sleep through the evening. We'd check on her every 20 mins or so & had monitor on. So I think it depends on the baby.