can my test and scan be wrong?

[lisa2104]

Please help me. I am 19 weeks pregnant. My last period was on 6/6 and I did a test on 14/7 that said I was 2-3 weeks gone. I had a scan on 30/8 that said I was 12 weeks and 1 day. Me and my fiance had sex most dat from 23/6-30/6 . I went out on 6/7 and got very drunk. I had a conversation with my boss in a side corridor of a bar but there would have been people coming and going. I think we had an argument and I may have said something flirty to him. But he called me a taxi and threw me in it. The problem is I keep worrying that I could've had sex with my boss and got pregnant by him or the taxi driver who took me home and I don't remember. I'm going out of my mind with worry and so scared I won't know who my baby's dad is as I have no idea who the taxi driver was. I can't eat or sleep I'm not bonding with my bump and my fiancé is finding if hard because I'm crying and worrying about this day and night. I feel like killing myself. This started because I have irregular periods and was checking to see if the scan could be a bit out but it has spiralled out of control. Help me!

Have you been able to discuss how you are feeling with anyone you know - could you speak to your doctor about it?

Ok firstly you need to calm down.
If you remember speaking to your boss and you remember him putting you in a taxi then it's unlikely you would forget having sex with him.

I think you really need to speak to someone about how upset you are over this. I would strongly advise that you go and speak to your doctor.

Have you spoken to your partner about this?

I have yes and he has been brilliant but it's starting to annoy him now. he says he knows he is the dad but if he wasn't then I would have to deal. We took a while to get pregnant and I want it to be brilliant for him but i am destroying any bond he will have with this baby. i spoke with my midwife just now and she said a, I would remember and B, my dates can't add up with that night out. I can barely remember being in the taxi just that I didn't want to speak to the driver. I don't remember how much it cost but my boss paid for it. My boss knew I was pregnant after and just looked a bit surprised but I had just handed in my notice to do a course so I think that was why. And he had opportunities to say if he thought we had done anything.

Is it typical of you to sleep with your boss?? I'm trying to work out how you can be so worried about the idea. If I had seen my boss one night, nothing would make me worry that I would have slept with him, even if my dates were a bit out.

Why would you think you had sex with a taxi driver?

NO - put in capitals and bold as I don't think there is any chance you fell pregnant on 7/6. Just to clarify, I'm a GP with a diploma in obstetrics - obs is my specialist field. 12 week scans are accurate to within a few days. Your 12 week scan fits perfectly with the dates of your last period. When we say "you're 12 weeks pregnant", we actually mean that you conceived the pregnancy about 10 weeks previously, as most women ovulate 14 days after the first day of their period. Some women ovulate sooner than this, and so dating scans can often show that a woman is a few days further along than she thought. Regardless of how irregular your periods were, your scan shows that you conceived around the 20th June. Definitely not on the 7th July or your scan could not have showed you as being as far along as you are - it would have said you were 9 weeks and 6 days. Just to repeat my point, 12 week scans are much more accurate than that - they might vary by a few days but definitely not by 2 weeks. Please don't worry any more about the paternity based upon that night. Paternity issues aside, I think you would probably have had some indication that you had had sex that night the following day, like feeling sore. It doesn't sound at all likely that anything happened other than you were just very drunk. Now that you know you're pregnant you'll need to avoid binge drinking anyway, but for nights out in the future just remember to put your safety first. Hope that helps x

i was only worried about the taxi driver because I don't really remember the taxi journey home and i thought he could've had his wicked way while I was semi comatose or something. i do have a habit of propstioning inappropriate men when I am drunk but if we have sex this would've been in a bar in a side corridor near the toilets so people would've walked past and seen us

mummytobenji you do mean 6 july right?

the boss I mean in the bar near the toilets. I keep wondering whether I should just ask him but what's the point of embarrassing myself when he could be lying?

There is no chance you got pregnant on 6th July. 2-3 weeks on the test is 2-3 weeks since conception. This was confirmed by your scan at the end of August. You conceived at the end of June.

These issues sound like they are manifestations of something else though, do you usually have anxiety issues?

You are being irrational. Your dates for perfectly with having conceived around 20th June.

Yes i have suffered before and they are usually to do with being drunk! I spoke with the doctor and she said what you said although she said that the pregnancy test isnt completely accurate she believes I was already about 3 or 4 weeks gone

The dr said i could have a private test to check the paternity before its born but I am thinking I don't need this as it risks the baby and I would never forgive myself if something happened. I just wish I knew exactly what happened that night!

Look, there is no chance you got pregnant that night. Are you afraid you may have been assaulted? Is that your real concern? I think you need to go back to the GP and talk about needing counselling/a referral for ante-natal depression/anxiety.

100 percent certain you did not conceive on the 6th of july, you were already pregnant by then, conception around 20th of june, give or take a few days definatley not over 2 weeks between. good luck with your pregnancy

Thanks all. i think I need counselling not a paternity test! And I don't think i was assaulted surely I wouldve felt weird the next day? I just punish myself all the time and think i am an evil person and can't be happy. I think my fiance has finished with me now to so I will end up on my own anyway

You're dates and scan fit perfectly with your DP and don't fit at all with your boss or taxi driver.
Stop worrying!.
And maybe ask your GP for some help for your anxiety such as CBT

You sound like you are being a little bit irrational, if you cannot get past this then I strongly suggest you visit the GP again to discuss the possibility of depression, its common in pregnancy and no one will think badly of you for asking for help.

Does anyone even think i could've had sex that night and not remember? Pregnancy aside I don't want to think i did!

But you said your fiance has been brilliant - now you're saying he's finished with you?

If you genuinely think you could have slept with your boss or a taxi driver on your way home you need to get a handle on your drinking.

Crossed posts - Don't worry about your fiancé, he must be quite frustrated and hurt but he will be upset with the situation not you. Once he sees that you are getting some help I am sure he will be 100% supportive again.

Im never driniking again pandawatch. I don't believe I had sex with anyone but its the not knowing for sure thats doing my head in. Amd I think the hormones are making the paranoia worse. my fiance has been brilliant but he is refusing to speak to me today and says that he feels physically sick at me

reading this back i sound like a mad woman! I am sure you can't have sex in a crowded bar and not remember and I am sure a licensed cab driver wouldn't have sex with me then drop me off at home. I am scared that if I am like this now I am not going to be able to look after this baby!

But that's why it's very important you deal with how you are feeling before the baby is born.
To even think its possible that you had drunken sex with your boss or a cab driver is a problem tbh.
But the anxiety it is causing you needs to be addressed IMHO especially if, as you say, you have had anxiety issues in the past.

You seem very worried about everything, from not sure if you slept with someone else, thinking your partner is going to leave you, thinking you won't be able to look after a baby.
You really need to speak to someone about how you are feeling.

What happened today to cause your partner to stop speaking to you?