can my test and scan be wrong?

[lisa2104]

Please help me. I am 19 weeks pregnant. My last period was on 6/6 and I did a test on 14/7 that said I was 2-3 weeks gone. I had a scan on 30/8 that said I was 12 weeks and 1 day. Me and my fiance had sex most dat from 23/6-30/6 . I went out on 6/7 and got very drunk. I had a conversation with my boss in a side corridor of a bar but there would have been people coming and going. I think we had an argument and I may have said something flirty to him. But he called me a taxi and threw me in it. The problem is I keep worrying that I could've had sex with my boss and got pregnant by him or the taxi driver who took me home and I don't remember. I'm going out of my mind with worry and so scared I won't know who my baby's dad is as I have no idea who the taxi driver was. I can't eat or sleep I'm not bonding with my bump and my fiancé is finding if hard because I'm crying and worrying about this day and night. I feel like killing myself. This started because I have irregular periods and was checking to see if the scan could be a bit out but it has spiralled out of control. Help me!

I think they can be slightly 'out' maybe by a day or so, but they date by the size of the foetus, which grow at a certain rate. You may find your next scan changes your dates again, depending on how the baby has grown.
But you don't need to worry, your baby will be born when he/she is ready.
My dc1 was born 2 weeks after their dates and 3 weeks after mine. Dc2 was born exactly on my dates but early on theirs.

Go and ask your boss, its the only way you will feel ay ease. X

I thought it was 48hrs. (Different sites say different things) But the exact time of Ov is hard to judge, because so many things can affect when the egg 'drops'. If it drops at all (stress, anxiety, etc) And even when monitoring fertility and Ov, the egg drop cant be exactly pinpointed. Women can ovulate at any point in their cycle, it isn't often that this is day 14 of a 28 day cycle (like you're taught in science at school).
For example I have a 28 day cycle, and through monitoring it I discovered I must have ovulated about day 18 the month I got pregnant. I also wasn't ovulating every month in previous months.

I Have thought about that RileyLee but I don't think it will stop me worrying. Plus how embarrassing would it be? I don't work there any more and would have to go back in to see him and make a big deal out of it. Plus I will still worry about the taxi driver I think.

Plus the state in I will probably think he's lying or aomething

Listen to us Lisa
This is your anxiety getting the better of you, forget about the dates. This baby is yours and your DP.

I'm worried about how anxious you are. It must be exhausting for you. Things sound stressful at the moment, particularly if you've lost your job.

When does your therapy start and do you have another appointment with the psyche unit?

I am waiting for a date but it should be within the next week. I just actually tried calling my ex boss to ask him but there was no answer. Should I take this as a sign?

And what if he says yeah we had sex. I will be even more stressed!

I wouldn't call him. It is unlikely to help the situation, which is your anxiety and catatrastrophising. Calling your ex-boss would most likely be counter productive as you would be unlikely to like his answer whatever it is.

I really don't think we did do anything. So if he says we didn't then it will confirm what I think.

I know it probably doesn't help, but you seem to know that you didn't do anything, and your logical reasoning is confirming this to you, you need to listen to this inner voice.

I'm trying to but I feel that if I get his side of it then it will helpe clarify things and I will have a clearer head. I'm so exhausted of this worry I just want to know

Quick question. If you weren't pregnant do you think you would be worrying about whether or not you had had sex with him (in a crowded bar)?

I think I would a bit but it would go away quicker and I would move on. What I used to do was go out and get drunk again but have a sensible night and convince myself I wasn't the person I was worried about being.

I just spoke to the Samaritans and try said how would I know if he was telling the truth anyway. He could said we did to spite me or we didn't to make me feel better and stop himself getting a punch off my fiancé. Also would knowing either way help me anyway. I know the baby is nothing to do with that night and I can't go back so what would I gain?

*they not try

Look, if you've reached the stage of calling the samaritans, you are seriously suffering mentally and need urgent psychiatric support. You did not have sex with your boss in a crowded bar. Call your midwife again.

It wasn't at the bar it would've been round the corner near the toilets. I know I sound like a psycho and people would've seen us but only if they walked past. I'm just angsting because I can't remember precise details but does that really matter. I only rang them because I needed to spk to someone independently. Thanks for your advice I'm knowing I am trying everyone's patience now

And what about the taxi driver. I'm being irrational about that too aren't I?

I think you are being irrational about your ex-boss and the taxi driver.
But I do feel you need to work through these thoughts. Having a few blank spots doesn't mean anything untoward happened, it could be just as likely that you chucked your drink/threw up over your boss, and fell asleep in the taxi.
I do however agree with mainly, phone your midwife sod the fact that its a Sunday, that really doesn't matter as they are working anyway and tell her that you are having irrational thoughts, and ask her for help, dont play it down, and don't worry about wasting their time, you won't be.

Thanks frustrated. I practically knocked down the hospital door about this yesterday and got seen by two midwives who were brilliant and got me seem by the psyche team who gave me sleeping aids and are making sure I see someone to talk it through. It's not an overnight thing and that scares me but I guess I was trying to 'fix' it know thinking at least if I ask him he can tell me. I suppose I want him to say nothing happened and frightened of him saying it did but I don't know what I stand to gain from that really

And actually the only blank spots I have are that I can't remember what exactly I said to my ex boss and I don't remember the entire taxi journey or getting up the stairs to the flat

I don't think you stand anything to gain from asking him. regardless of the answer

You are right, there will be no quick fix, but you will learn how to control these anxieties. Do you have long to wait until you see someone? Sundays are very isolated days

I feel like if he said nothing happened i will be relieved but I'm scared that if I ask him he will say something happened and if I don't ask him I will never know. I don't know how long it will be

I just want to say to everyone who has commented on here thanks. Your comments have helped me so much. I known not very well and just thinking the worst things because I have low self esteem. I have an amazing DP and baby on the way that I know I will shower with love I just have to get through the dark days. Tomorrow I will probably be in a spiral again but I eventually will stop and realise none of this matters