supporting a pregnant sister

[prouduncle]

Hi, iv joined these forums because my sister is pregnant again and I really want to understand what you women go through so i can support my sister

she already has a 8 year old lad (the most important person in our family) and the whole family is thrilled she is pregnant again (apparently she has been trying for years)

when she had her first kid i was 15/16 and couldn't really help much, since he was born i pretty much dedicate my life to my nephew. now im 23 and have a job and car!

what are the top 5 non financial things i can do to support her? all i can think of is tidying her house and baby sitting. she wont ask for help so perhaps you guys can give me some ideas so i can make her pregnancy easier

btw she is about 2/3 months gone (scans due to give us more idea of how far gone she is) and she is full on hormonal!

It's nice that you want to help her :-)

I was really knackered during both pregnancies and suffered with back & hip problems so walking was difficult in the later months. Things I would have appreciated a family member doing in second pregnancy would be:

taking my eldest child out so I could go to sleep or entertaining him so I could go to sleep/rest
doing the food shopping for me (ESP in the later months) or coming with me to help carry the bags to/from the car
coming round and cooking a meal (depends on your skills in the kitchen )
Helping with DIY tasks - Eg painting the nursery
coming to the scans with me when my husband couldn't
Generally being understanding and listen when I was grumpy/tired/fed up etc

You might want to chat to her partner as well as he might have ideas/some of the things above he might be doing already.

Also everyone is different in what support they want/need so talk to your sister.

I'm sure others will have some more ideas for you.

Good luck

thanks for the advice, i could definitely pop round to her house on the way back from work and prepare a meal. that was a great suggestion, just what i was looking for!

cant do dIY lol i think i would push her over the edge if i tried to do it in her beloved home haha

taking her shopping could be fun and give us a chance to catch up away from everyone else

You sound like a wonderful sister

I'd also add:

everytime you visit, bring food (when the baby arrives). I would have killed for a thoughtful homemade lasagne or someone to pop round with some soup in exchange for a baby-cuddle!

offer to clean anything (washing up/wizz round the bathroom with a bit of cilit bang) - whatever your sister feels comfortable with you doing.

maybe help out with clothes washing - both now and when baby arrives; the bigger your sister gets, the more inpossible it is to hang things on the washing line!!

offer to help when people come round to visit her and the newborn, there was nothing worse than having to clean and make sure we had tea and biscuits and clean plates and all that rubbish (when all I really wanted was to tell them to bugger off! But perhaps that's just me!)

a friend of mine looked after her sister like you're doing (baby is now 23!) and she would take baby away and change/put into cot etc as the sister fell asleep while breastfeeding. Friend's sister was just so delighted to find clean towels in the bathroom and a cup of tea when she woke up to a sleeping baby!

I realise most of these things can be done by your sister's DP - so perhaps check with him if he'd like you to do anything to help out, maybe something your sister is too proud to say 'yes please' to?

I wish you were my sister

btw im a brother not a sister. my brother in law is a great man and has all my respect but is stubborn about receiving help as its normally him and my sister helping everyone else

i think ill have to finally learn how to use a washing machine and an iron (how do i learn???) so i can help her with her washing
what's a dp?

also... (im full of questions lol)

whats the thing called where you put a baby in a swing and press a button for it to swing? she really wants one haha it worked wonders with my nephew

My brother was your age when I had my first and I loved his visits. Not because he fussed or did anything round the house but because he'd come and talk to me like a 'normal' person. Those first few weeks you feel so detached from the world it was such a relief to hear what was happening in his life, work, funny stories he'd heard etc. plus his visits were normally accompanied by cake which was good. I think it might of scared me to death if he'd tried to do the ironing :)

I bet you can find ironing instruction vids on youtube! :)

My sister found out she was pregnant this time last year (my niece is neatly 4 months now) its so exciting! We used to go swimming together and got for walks on the weekend. Generally just being there for her to talk to helped. I also followed a pregnancy checker so I knew what stage she was at and what things the baby could do or how it had developed each week. I also used to be the 'bump' photographer :) she asked for one every 4 weeks so she could see how big she was getting. I was also my sister's birthing partner. It was lovely as I was there with her every step of the way, good luck!