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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

should I take dd to my 20 wk scan?

51 replies

SenoraPostrophe · 20/03/2006 13:59

what do you think? she is 3 and fascinated by the idea of a baby in my belly.

part of me thinks I shouldn't take her because there may be a problem - how likely is that exactly, does anyone know?

the other part of me thinks that she'll have to find out if there's a problem sooner or later and that there probably isn't one anyway.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

waterfalls · 20/03/2006 14:00

Yes take her, she will love it, and feel involved.

muma3 · 20/03/2006 14:02

take her . i took both dd1 an dd2 when i was carrying dd3 . it will also help her to come to terms with it and understand a bit more . the likely hood of somehing being wrong is not high and i would take someone to watch her if you need to
ps my 2 loved it and they were all excited all over again when they realised it was real and they could see dd3 !!!

Pruni · 20/03/2006 14:05

Not allowed to take 'em in our local hospital.

bamboo · 20/03/2006 14:05

I'm glad I didn't take dd to mine when I was expecting ds as they did raise some concerns. Everything was fine in the end but I found it quite upsetting at the time. I don't think her being there would have enabled me to hold it together more, but if you think you could, in a worst case scenario, then it would probably be lovely for her to see, as I'm sure chances are it would be routine.

motherinferior · 20/03/2006 14:07

SP, sorry, you're up the duff ?

And in answer to your question, I'd only take her if you have to (we did have to take DD1 to DD2's 20-week scan). Scans can bring up all sorts of uncertainties, and you need to focus, if that happens, on yourself and your feelings about this.

Kelly1978 · 20/03/2006 14:09

I've always takenthem along. dd was fascinated by it all at only 18 months when I was expecting ds. And they both got to share in the excitement when we found we were expecting twins.

Nbg · 20/03/2006 14:11

I really want to take our dd when we go for our scan next week.

But when I went for my 12 week scan we were delayed by 3/4 hr and I know she would have hated that.
However I think it does give them alot of involvement and it's like the first introduction to the baby.

Original poster

SenoraPostrophe · 20/03/2006 14:12

is that sorry as in commiserations, or sorry for getting confused, mi?

It didn't occur to me that she wouldn't be allowed, but I expect she will be. She really would love it though. Maybe I should take her along with a firend so she can wait with friend if she needs to?

OP posts:

petunia · 20/03/2006 14:13

We had to take DDs (aged 6 1/2 and 3) to my 20wk scan back in December. The eldest one was fascinated by it but the youngest one got bored after a while (despite taking a bag full of reading and colouring things!) and it turned out to be a long 40 minute scan as well (baby not in a good position and needed to move). I'd take your DD as long as someone else can go as well, in case of boredom.

Original poster

SenoraPostrophe · 20/03/2006 14:14

lol, Kelly! I don't think excitement would be the word to describe what my reaction would be if I was told I was having twins!

OP posts:

quelsouci · 20/03/2006 14:17

Yes, yes, yes! My dd was the same age when I was pg with ds & it really helped her to "picture" her little brother. She was as thrilled as I was. I envy both of you! Chances are there will be no "problem". The more involved your dd feels in the whole process, the more easily she will adjust to her new sibling & be willing to help & participate.

quelsouci · 20/03/2006 14:19

Sorry, didn't read the whole thread but twins! Cool! You seriously need to enlist dd's support & involvement.

Lio · 20/03/2006 14:19

Am not taking ds as friend took her dd to her 20 week scan and her dd was actually quite perturbed by it. However, this comes with the thingy wotsit (word in Latin) that our children are 2.5, so perhaps your dd at 3 will not be spooked by it? Although possibly bored as it can go on a bit if baby not in good position.

With regard to possibility of scan showing up a problem, I am a pessimist so would make sure dh (or A N Other) was also there to take dd out of room – in this scenario would you want dh to leave you though?

Blu · 20/03/2006 14:20

Congratulations, SP!

Yes, the likelihood of finding any problem is v low - and may this scan be everything you need it to be - but the purpose of these scans is to spot any problems, so personally I would approach them in that context. But then i am someone who has had complications discovered at a scan, and DP and I were knocked sideways by it, went for immediate amnio (after short on the spot counselling) in order to cut any delay in waiting for a future appt etc.

If all is well - as it almost certainly will - the scan will be a lovely, but not essential, experience for your dd. If there is a problem (or even questions raised), it will be the very last thing you want or need.

Kelly1978 · 20/03/2006 14:22

well, they were very excited! I actually thought dp was going to pass out.

bamboo · 20/03/2006 14:22

Actually, I've just remembered my problem was brought up at the first scan . It just happened that I had the scan at about 16 weeks instead of 12 (failure to get my arse into gear quick enough )

Lucycat · 20/03/2006 14:23

Could you take a friend along who could wait outside and entertain your dd if needs be?

emkana · 20/03/2006 14:23

After having a problem detected at my scan I would totally go along with what Blu said.

I did take dd1 along when pregnant with dd2, and it was lovely. Took dd2 along this time, and it just added stress tbh when they did detect problems.

Chances are your baby will be just fine, but you just don't know.

emkana · 20/03/2006 14:24

Oh, sorry, and congratulations from me, too!!!

Marina · 20/03/2006 14:24

I'm with blu and MI on this. Yes it is rare, but the grimmest of news can be given at 20 week scans, SP, and a 3 year old might be very traumatised by this :(
I think if you can arrange it, having your dd wait with a friend and come in to see provided all is well (which statistically of course it is most likely to be :)), will be a nice compromise.

quelsouci · 20/03/2006 14:25

SP, what's up? Do you have any indication that the pg is not going well or do you have negative/mixed feelings about it?

motherinferior · 20/03/2006 14:27

Sorry that I'm dim, Senora. I am frightfully pleased for you!

Original poster

SenoraPostrophe · 20/03/2006 14:34

I think you're right, marina, blu and mi.

quelsouci - no, no indications of anything wrong but I am nothing if not pragmatic.

OP posts:

Angeliz · 20/03/2006 14:38

We took dd (just turned 5) along to the 14 week scan this time and she thought it was great. I'd be a little more wary about the anomaly scan as, as other have said, it's more medical and to detect problems. I think getting your dd to wait with aq friend and then come in at the end when you know all is well is the best idea

My dd is fascinated too. She has just diescovered where the baby gets out and is not pleased. Lats night she told me she was going to adopt!!

Angeliz · 20/03/2006 14:38

She was 3 btw when i had my last baby.
Best of luck for the scan+++++++

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