Newly pg and very scared

[Ellypoo]

Hi everyone!

I am about 5/6 weeks pg and I'm absolutely terrified!

I had DD1 at Christmas but she died when she was just 2 days old (went in with reduced movements but she had suffered too much oxygen deprivation and was too poorly to survive). Since we got the all-clear from the consultant back in Feb, we have been TTC, and we have finally managed it!!

We are really happy but incredibly apprehensive and scared that something will go wrong again - is there anyone in a similar situation or who has experienced a late MC/stillbirth?

We should get an early scan through the week after next, but it kind of doesn't really feel real - I guess it won't until we can actually see that there's something there (hopefully with a little heartbeat, if it isn't too early!).

Hi Ellypoo,

first of all Congratulations!
I am so sorry for your loss, pregnancy is a nerve wrecking thing anyway let alone going through something like that before.

I have never had a stillbirth, but I have had 2 MC's this year.
I am currently pregnant again and 14wks1d. Still can't believe it's real

What your feeling is completely normal! And I know it's easier said than done, but please try not to worry too much. I was told that having a stillbirth or MC does not reduce your chances to carry a baby in the future.
My partners mum's first child died at 1 day old and she went on to fall pregnant within a few months later and gave birth to a son who is now 31 (my partner!) and 3 more children.

I hope this is of some reassurance for you (I doubt it lol)
Good luck for your scan, this website is good at getting advice/airing feelings etc

Take care x

Firstly, congratulations!
I had a very similar experience to you, first child DD died during labour at a week overdue. I was pregnant again, about the same timescale as you
I can't say I wasn't worried, but I did have a very good consultant who specialised in high risk and that helped enormously
I had an early section with DS 1 at 37 weeks (the death of DD 1 was unexplained so we weren't anticipating problems specifically), but DS pregnancy ended in an abruption and ECS
But all was fine, I guess the answer is just make sure you are very carefully monitored, get lots of scans if you can, talk through options for delivery and all the possibilities
Given your history you will be high risk I would imagine, so all things should be in place for all these things and you should be carefully monitored
Positively, you have carried a baby successfully to term, so your body is more than able to do that
Did you find out any reason for the loss of your little girl?

Thanks for your kind words ladies.

I'm so sorry about your DD MINCE, it's such an awful thing to happen - I have met a lovely lady in RL who's DD died this year during labour when she was overdue, it's just terrible. It must have been so scary for you & DH with DS, I'm so pleased that he was fine.

There was a blood clot in the placenta which they discovered afterwards - also, the placenta was small and so was she - she was only 4lb 15.5oz when she was born, but they hadn't picked up on that. They think that she had been starved of oxygen over a long period of time, and it had caused irrecoverable damage to her organs.

My GP is writing to my consultant to arrange an early scan etc, and I am taking baby aspirin now. It's just even more scary than normal isn't it! We have told our parents and my sis because if anything were to go wrong, we would need so much support that it seemed pointless trying to keep it to ourselves and not let them support us now as well.

Oh how awful for you. It is so terrible and nothing prepares you. I took baby aspirin too with the next two
It's hard because you do feel excited as well as apprehensive, very weird time. Good to hear you have a support network in place.
In all likelihood, it's probably all going to be fine and you were just very very unlucky. But it is hard to believe that until you have your little one in your arms
The only advice I would give you is push push push for all and everything the consultant can do. Lots of scans for reassurance. Fetal medicine centre was a godsend for me, you just need to get yourself through. Thing is, this time you are much more aware that things can go wrong, so you can talk through options of earlier induction/ section, and they can monitor you so much more closely as the baby gets bigger for any signs of issues.
I do wish you the best of luck and do allow yourself to be excited!!!