i'm sat at home on my own bored and brain going into overdrive and won't switch off. just wish i could curl up into a ball and disappear for a little while now, as i cant seem to find any light at the end of the tunnel right now. been back at hospital today to see my healthy lifestyle midwife, and the meeting didnt go well as i just ended up crying throughout, while we spoke at whats been happening with baby and at home. home life is not good as i'm now have children's services involved again as i'm struggling to cope with life, i've got no income as i'm currently going through an appeal with jobcentre, so no money means no food and nothing for when baby arrives. i'm living off food handouts from the community larder and i'm hating my self for it as i cant work to earn money but jobcentre are refusing me help. i'm now having to wait for a phone call from the supervisior of midwives to phone me as she has now taken on my complaint and file to help sort out a plan of care for me and baby as nothing has been done about it yet. this is 2nd preg and my DS arrived 1 week early and was ast labour so been told chances are this one will be early and even quicker. told DP earlier that I could do with a cuddle as not feeling good, and he's gone and made plans to go friend to a lasses house to watch a movie and have take-out. i only found out when she came round here asking what he would like her to order. so i'm stuck at home bored and feeling like crap.
sorry for the long post just feeling fed up now and what everything to be over.