Pros/cons of finding out sex of baby?

[Wiggy29]

We didn't with ds as we had no preference and thought it would be a nice surprise. In reality, when they told us I was so shocked about having given birth/ holding my child, that it didn't even register. It was probably a few months down the line after I'd got used to him as a baby that I really thought about him being a boy.

We're pregnant again with dc2 and again have no preference of the sex. This time though, I'm finding myself leaning towards finding out. The reasons aren't anything major: so when I sort through ds's clothes to see if boy stuff should be left in the loft/ if I see something lovely for boy/ girl in the sales I can buy it (and that has happened a lot)!

What were your reasons for finding out, or not? Ds is 7& would also really like to know so he can 'get his head used to it' (he'd prefer a boy but is just so excited I doubt he'll be fussed). Dp said he'd probs rather not but is also unsure. Thoughts?

I found out last time, and will this time.

I/we just didn't feel that the surprise element would add anything - and I stand by that, I found that having DD pop out was amazing and kind of surprising anyway!

Also, I wanted to narrow down name choices and know what clothes to buy.

I found out because my family wanted to buy things and I didn't want a 'cream' baby. So the pro was that my DD now has some beautiful girl clothes, and we decorated the nursery accordingly and we felt that we got to know her better when she was in my tummy.

The con was that I wanted a girl so much that I didn't believe them. Right up until my 38th week when I had to go for a growth scan and I caught a glimpse between her legs! I spent months paranoid that people were buying girl things and a boy was going to pop out.

DH and I have discussed whether or not we'd find out with our next child. On one hand it'd be good to know if we were having a girl so we could re-use DD's things... if it was a boy we could sell them and buy boy things. However, I think it would also be nice to experience the surprise element next time.

I found out with #3 because I wanted to.

It's not like you are spoiling a surprise - it's a surprise whether you find out at a scan or when the baby is born.

I have found out with all three of mine. The way I see it is that's it's still a surprise, whether that surprise comes at 20 weeks pregnant or when you've given birth!
I wanted to find out because I like to be prepared, having the nursery ready, clothes ready, names picked and more importantly for us this time was having DS and DD prepared for the baby arriving.

O/T but I have just read Age Of Innocence CountessOlenska. I am having an Edith Wharton moment. Onto Custom of the Country now.

I didn't find out. I like that I won't personify the baby until he/she arrives. I am not into the whole blue/pink thing so hasn't mattered with buying stuff. I think it's the best surprise you can get. But I know people who do want to know don't understand why I wouldn't. Everyone has their own good reasons!

I found out both times. It was the same sex both times so I was able to get all my first daughters clothes ready. But that is no big deal really, and I think it would be nice to have a surprise.

Interesting, I think we may be best finding out this time, I agree TheCountess- the baby itself was overwhelming enough! I'm not especially a pink/ blue person ( ds was reasonably multi coloured&wore wooly tights during a cold winter) but I still think some clothes differentiation is almost unavoidable (as retailers have created it thus). Hopefully dp will agree or it may get awkward!

PollyIndia - a fellow Wharton fan no one has ever commented on my name before . . I recommend House of Mirth if you haven't already!

I haven't found out for any of mine (just had scan for DC3) but it got more enticing with each pregnancy!

I suppose the pros of finding out are that you can get things ready and adjust to it being a boy/girl before it's even here and even name it.
None of that really does it for me to be honest. I would feel strange referring to a baby I'd never seen by a name, especially as we had no idea what to name DD until she came out and instantly she looked like a name and that was it - it would've been strange if we'd been calling her something else all pregnancy!
With DS I was so overwhelmed that I forgot to ask what he was! The midwife had to prompt me :)
Am actually really glad I didn't find out for DC3 as it wouldn't feel right after not knowing what the others were. Oh and DD really wants a girl but I'm sure when baby's here she'll be fine either way!
(sorry that's very long!) all the best, whatever you decide!

We found out with all 3 - getting a baby was a big enough surprise for me & I like to be prepared & to plan / buy things.

I'm 36 weeks and haven't found out... one reason is I don't really like the blue/pink divide and so far my tactic has worked - have received gorgeous multicoloured bright cheerful clothes/blankets etc...

I don't really think of babies as one gender or the other till they're about 1 or2 anyway, it seems a bit silly, they're just... babies!

I found out with ds1 - they said HE was a SHE.

Didn't ask with ds2

Had a gender scan with ds3 - he was very clearly a boy

Will ask at the 20 week scan with dc4 but won't believe them unless I see it for myself.

Had a chat with do, he's swaying to my way of thinking : )

I'm due with my first in October and not finding out was never an option for me! I feel like it's helped me to bond with him but then again I don't have any other experience to compare this with! I'm also a bit of a control/organisation freak so it's helped that too! TBH, I think having a baby at the end of it is going to be a big enough surprise!!!

Thinking of not finding out sex at 20 wk& waiting to have a 4d scan so we van find out sex with ds there so he feels involved, plus ds is currently upset he can't come to scan so he'll be thrilled (the Hosp doesn't advise it incase there are medical issues to discuss).

With DS2 we found out. This was so we could name the baby before he arrived and get the other children (ds1 and dss1) used to the name and whole idea of it being an actual person rather than just a bump. So we would say, "When Harry's born, shall we go swimming with him?" etc. I think it helped the other boys a lot.

I found out the sex at my 12 week scan (rapidly confirmed by cvs test result). I wanted to know but we still changed our mind about the name after she was born, and she wore blue babygros with tractors for the first month because the only friend to have recently had a baby and therefore pass on hand me downs had a boy. A few days before the birth I found that I did mind her being in the wrong colour clothes in the photo I sent to family and friends so rushed out to buy a couple of things in pink.

I would have hated not knowing, especially when it was known by others eg my gynaecologist. For me there was enough uncertainty surrounding a birth (will it go ok? Will the baby be healthy? Etc) without creating more.

I found out the sex at my 12 week scan (rapidly confirmed by cvs test result). I wanted to know but we still changed our mind about the name after she was born, and she wore blue babygros with tractors for the first month because the only friend to have recently had a baby and therefore pass on hand me downs had a boy. A few days before the birth I found that I did mind her being in the wrong colour clothes in the photo I sent to family and friends so rushed out to buy a couple of things in pink.

I would have hated not knowing, especially when it was known by others eg my gynaecologist. For me there was enough uncertainty surrounding a birth (will it go ok? Will the baby be healthy? Etc) without creating more.

I just couldn't stand the thought of the information being available and I didn't know it! My husband is a journalist so he thought the same. :o I'm nosey like that.

I found out with both my boys. For us it was to help the bonding process and I really didn't want to refer to my babies as "it". It made shopping a teeny bit easier but not massively so. With ds2 it was even nicer because ds1 came with us to a private gender scan and "helped" chose his name and bought him a little arrival present. It really is all about the binding process.

Gosh, can they really tell at 12 weeks these days?! I had to wait until 20 with my two!
I like knowing, calling them by name, indulging in a bit of shopping.
I also really mind the idea of someone else; doctor, midwife, sonographer knowing and not me.

I didn't find out with my first, I really wanted DH to tell me the sex when the baby was born - in the end I forgot to ask for a good few minutes then the MW said, shall we check! It was a girl :)
I'm now pg again (only a few weeks!) and DH wants to find out. I got to pick last time, as he really wanted to find out then too, so I guess it's his turn.
I have mixed feelings about it, I can see the practicalities of finding out but I do think it's more romantic to find out at the birth.
My DB wanted to find out with their second as he wanted a boy and said he would be disappointed for a second or two if it wasn't a boy and he would rather have that time at a scan rather than at the birth. I suppose I can understand that but I have no preference either way.

We found out with DD as I really wanted to (DH wasn't bothered either way). We will find out this time so that we can tell DD she is going to have a brother or a sister.

I'm totally swayed to find out now at 4d scan with ds there so he can tell people etc.makes it all the more exciting! Dp said he'll have a think...

CountessOlenska House of Mirth is my favourite. Lily is so tragic!