Hyperemesis Support

[LucindaE]

We need a new thread.

I hope everyone suffering from the Horrors of Hyperemesis will find this thread useful as a source of support and information.

There's no TMI on here - can't be by definition - and nobody should feel ashamed of moaning as much as they feel the need to.

I used to include extracts from MOH's wonderful website
sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/
but I think that makes this link less visible so am merely putting the link. The information on this site is invaluable.

I would like to thank MOH MOP Ovaltine Caramellokoalalover (I think she's changed her nickname) Fluffy, Horsey Kali and Everyone who has given such invaluable support and advice on previous threads.

Remember when you are at your worst, 'This Too Shall Pass'. It really will.

Nemo Hugs. Of course, nobody on here will sit in moral judgement on you. As others say, others on here have had abortions or seriously considered one. I am sure that for millions of years before the term 'abortion' was thought of, women used herbs they knew of if the time was very wrong to be pregnant. I feel you were badly let down by the treatment or lack of it your received. I remember you being on the thread before at one point, and feel bad that you went through all that alone. Thank you for coming on and trusting us, knowing that we have some iota of how desperate you were feeling.
MOP Hugs too for kind remark!
Reebok Thank goodness for a slightly better day!
Nannyl That makes sense and is good to have worked out in advance.
Lucinda
xx

And thanks Nannyl and Reebok, hugs too!
Lucinda
xx

Nemo thank-you for coming on and sharing. It's really helped me to hear that you are considering TTC again. If you have some hope and lots of bravery, then I can too.

oh nemo I feel for you. I don't know what I would have done if HG was that bad in the early stages, I was in the third trimester when it hit properly. I can emphasise on the feelings though. I fantasise about dangerous things like self-sweeps and castor oil at 34 weeks and to be honest at my lowest may have risked a pre-term induction was it on offer because I was too low and ill to think of the child.

Today at work I stuck a DVD on an puked outside the classroom door into the waste paper basket. Nice. 2 days left.

Again had 4+ ketones at yesterdays MW appt, plus she asked for another blood test for iron due to vomiting and the fact I am so pale. I refused, I think sensibly, as only 2 weeks ago it was 12.1 and I'm now 37 weeks. She seemed amazed I was at work/ able to stand. I feel quite muderous at times.

oh and reebok, constipation!!!!

O.M.G.

Ghoule I'm shocked you're still at work!! You should be in hospital on an IV!!!! Please get yourself checked ASAP! Are 2 days without you at school going to matter now??? It's all DVDs and parties now anyway so not worth risking your health over.

Am struggling once again to sleep despite feeling very tired. Damn heartburn and nausea decide to gang up on me night after night...guaranteed I will feel like this until I finally manage to doze at midnight only to be awoken an hour later by back ache and thirst. Ah pregnancy! What a joy!!!

Ghoule I'm in the slightly strange position of having my first appointment with the consultant about my risk of pre-term labour on 3rd Jan. I am caught between not wanting to be pregnant for any longer than necessary because of the HG and being scared of another pre-term birth.

Hello Ladies,
I'm so sorry to read you're all suffering. I know what it feels like. I had HG when I was pregnant with my DD who is now 10 months.
I'm not pregnant at the moment but would really like to hear your opinions on something.

I work in a coffee shop/deli where my immediate duties are the cooking for the coffee shop and the running of the deli (making sandwiches/salads/selling the meats and cheeses). When I got HG I had to stay of sick the whole of my pregnancy. The first trimster because I was constantly vomiting/ in and out of hospital, the second trimester because I vomited a few times a day and any smell of food would set me of worse and the third trimester because by then the relationship with my boss (owner of the deli) had become so bad due to me being off sick that long that I could not return. My body was also so weakened at this point that I couldn't have been standing for hours a day.

Anyway, I'm due to return to work in less than 2 months and due to several reasons we need to have our planned second baby rather sooner than later. So we will be trying from next year. I'm sure it'll take a while anyway as I'm still breastfeeding DD quite a lot.

Here is my dilemma. I'm pretty sure my boss will make my life hell once I return and this will surely only become worse when I tell him I'm pregnant again. I have to expect that realistically I might have HG again. If I was to be off work that long again, I'd feel so bad and guilty. There are so many women with HG out there who are dragging themselves to work and somehow survive but because of what I do, working with food, and I'm sure you can imagine the smells in the shop, I feel unable to do that. So while I might be well enough to sit at home, watch TV, do some reading etc, there's no way I cpuld consider going into work.

I'm not even sure anymore what I'm asking. I guess I just want to hear what other people who have been there are thinking and how you would handle the situation if your job, 8 hours a day, was handling smelly food while having HG.

I mean the only thing I could do is chosing not to have a second child. But that would break my and DH's heart. I feel so guilty and like such a bad person going back to my job, knowing that I might be off sick again soon and possibly for the whole duration of another pregnancy again.

On the other side, my boss behaved so appallingly (bordering on being illegal) That I really shouldn't give up a second child because of him. My pregnancy didn't cost him anything (SSP and MA came from the government) and I know I will not return to this job after the next baby.

How would you play this? Any opinions on my situation?

Hi all. I haven't posted here for a very long time. I had HG in three of my six pregnancies.
The reason for my post is to respond to Nemo. I had a MMC with my 3rd HG pregnancy and at the time the overriding feeling was relief

I wish you all all the best over Christmas. One day you will feel human again I promise

I absolutely could not have worked in a deli. Well I couldn't work anywhere at that point tbh but especially not standing up and around food.

Mrs H, firstly good luck with ttc. Really hope you won't be struck down with hG again. Would be a good idea to discuss medication with your gp once you do start trying to maybe stop the hG in its tracks. Secondly, don't feel bad. When you're suffering with hG, it's can mess you up and it's impossible to work. I'm a teacher and had to be signed off because I couldn't cope with teaching children and hG....so considering you work with food, I'm not surprised you had to stop working!! I find it impossible to go into my own kitchen! Wouldn't know how to handle a deli!!

As for your boss, as he was such an ass last time, chances are he will behave in the same way...but you've already said that you have no intention of going back after baby is born and ssp and MA do not come out of his pocket. So I think, work until you're pregnant and then quit if hG hits. What is the worst he can do? He can't sue you for getting pregnant!
Good luck again!

Itstwitmass, thank you!!

I agree you must be prepared with Drs and midwives etc. I found for me personally keeping an abnormally high calorie/ blood sugar really helped. I should point out that i am not medically trained but eating like I was depending on it (which in a way i was) for s while stopped the downward spiral. I put on a lot of weight which I then lost as I started to be able to eat normally.
I hope i'm not butting in but reading some of your posts has brought it all back, but do please tell me to go away if you like

Of course you're not butting in. Advice from ex hG sufferers are always welcome. Helps to be reminded that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Any advice on battling the insomnia? I'm coming up to ten weeks and feel like I haven't slept in months!! Keep in mind that I can't try drinking warm milk as dairy is my enemy!

MrsHuxtable

your boss sounds vile. Personally i would put my own family over some person who made my life hell.

There is no way I could do that with HG (no way at all) (I dont think many people with HG could stand all day in a deli [bleugh])
Last pregnancy i was signed off by 7 weeks and never well enough to go back (and now im a SAHM)
If your Dr signs you off (which surely they can and will if you are really poorly) then theres nothing your boss can do about it? and if you dont plan to go back, then i wouldnt be bothered about upsetting him either

Im on my seconds HG pregnancy.... but this one hasnt been as horrific as the last. (dont get me wrong i have been pretty ill, and been in hospital etc, but my previous experiance was far worse; this time OH has been able to sleep in our bed, just him turning over was enough to induce vomiting last time so he had to sleep else where, and i spent weeks in darkness, being as still as possible in bed, because doing anything at all made me be sick (again).... i basically only left my bedroom for dr / hospital appts, and to walk the 3 steps from my bed to the loo in my en suite to be sick.

So you never know, you may not be quite so bad next time? but if you are sod him (and come here where you will have sympathy and be understood)

Ghoule Have to say at once am horrified you are still at work. I don't suppose you saw my earlier link with advice from MOPs website but i'm pretty sure they are in a dodgy position having forced you back, that this has to be descrimination. Are you in a union? It is shocking they haven't done anything. You poor poor thing,sending cyber hugs, not as if they are of much use. I don't know either how you are on your feet, surely if the high ketones aren't caused by dehydration then it must be starvation and surely you need IV vitmains or protein or something? I don't think you should go in for those last two days either, I'm worried you are going to collapse.
MrsHux Welcome, what a nasty man your boss sounds. MOHs website has a section on employment rights sites.google.com/site/pregnancysicknesssos/employment-issues was the link I was thinking of,I hope this might help. It is so difficult when a mean spirited manager or employer has got it in for you and probably Reebok's advice is the best for the real world. To work with food with Hypermesis would be unbearable. Did that man want you to be there, being sick on the floor, for goodness sake?
Twit I remember your name from a few threads back, I think. Welcome and of course it's wonderful to have an ex sufferer coming back to encourage people, how can that be intruding?
Reebok Did you have no joy with the Ranatadine (or however it's spelt). Poor you, sleepless nights make things worse, not what you need at all.
Nannyl Re: OH's in bed, my OH kept me awake once coughing with a cold, just what you need, I could have killed him, I felt no sympathy at all. I remember how worried mother hen Lucinda was about you at once time and it's been bad enough this, but thank goodness, you are hopefully gradually emerging earlier...
Room Hugs. I can imagine you would feel torn.
Nemo I forgot to add to my earlier post, all luck with TTC and pre emptive meds.
Apologies to anyone I've rudely overlooked.
Lucinda
xx

No Lucinda, unfortunately not. On top of it, been having a craving for Ice cream, milk and yogurt but cannot stomach any of it...makes me vomit horrendously! :( Really hope I can eat them again soon. Dairy just doesn't seem to agree with me in pregnancy.

V interested in what itsTwiiiiitmaaaaasss says above about maintaining high calorie intake as a good way of managing HG in certain circumstances. I found that once the phase of hospitalisation had passed and cyclizine was keeping me down to 'just' one vom a day (which I never shifted until after the birth), I too found eating a lot of high calorie foods helpful. I am normally a v healthy eater and weigh 8 stone, but after about 14/15 weeks I found I was eating for England, and lots it was 'junk' (won't specify for fear of making people feel ill). Some of it came up and some stayed down, but a fair amount must have stayed in as I put on 3 stone while PG. After the birth, BF a very hungry baby and eating normally got me back to normal weight in 3 months. It might not suit everyone, but maybe it is a way to manage it for some people - once you can actually eat, of course.

Ghoule, like others I'm absolutely horrified to hear about your work situation. Whoever is in charge at your school must be a barbarian to make you keep going under these circumstances.

Speaking of barbarians, MrsHuxtable, you should not give your boss a second thought when contemplating TTC a second child, he sounds as barbaris as Ghoule's employers. He should not have any bearing on your decision. You did absolutely nothing wrong the first time around and if you are ill and signed off again then that isn't your fault either! Be assured that all the Equalities Legislation is very firmly and clearly on your side in this. He can NOT descriminate against a PG employee in any way, and also may not sack you while PG. Really good luck with it all!

Gosh, long post. Must dash. Hugs to all. :)

Also meant to say, Reebok, would you be willing to give soy milk a try? Or almond milk? I found alprosoy vanilla or choc flavoured 'milk' v helpful when PG. Delicious ice cold, and because not dairy, does not bring on vom. Or didn't for me at least.

Ah it's worth a shot! Will try it! Any alternatives for feast ice cream....I've been sat here all morning thinking about it and drooling!

Need something to give me a power surge guys...this baby has taken everything out of me. Feel so weak today. Struggling to even get up to pee. Worried might be getting anaemic again. I have a history of it and I've felt as weak as this.

you girls are amazing! I couldn't even face a phone screen and texting when i was HG let alone be able to type on a computer! how do you manage that? The total isolation (dark quiet room) was he hardest to bear as I couldn't communicate with anyone or get support.
ON a day to day basis are you able to get up and move around the house? I was just lying in bed not moving and the only time i'd get up was to empty the sick bowl.
Maybe I should try and stay more active within the house next time I have hg?

The consultant I saw back in Nov said i should have been offered steroids when ondansetron and metoclopramide failed, and that when i mentioned thinking of abortion they should have (again) mentioned steroids. Are any of you on them? Did they work?
I already have the prescription for ondansetron and metoclopramide to take as soon as i get a positive pg test when we ttc.
I'm still thinking about the whole thing as I'm scared of ending up in hospital again as it was the worse thing :( I can't face the battle to get admitted again, esp the constant obsession with urine sample when i'm too dehydrated.

One of you mentioned high sugar/calories helped. That's what i found in the later stages, when i only had nausea, i was constantly eating cereal bars as i found eating sugary stuff helped. I put on lots of weight but at that time i didn't care

big hugs, you're all so so so brave

Use a phone to go on the net Nemo. I've spent the past 3 weeks in bed, except loo breaks and doc/hospital appointments. So no, still unable to move around the house. Thank you Nemo. As I've said before, without this group, I would not be able to carry on with this pregnancy and probably would have terminated ages ago.

Nemo

last time i was very much like you describe and i spent hours and hours and days and weeks being completely still in bed in darkness not moving a muscle and just concentrating on breathing....

I had a few mins / hours some days when i could use the laptop (next to me) but a lot of the time I couldnt either

My experiance of HG has been very different this time.... It has not been quite so bad, and i have been up and about more, and have not spend nearly as much time (in fact hardly any at all) in dark still silence.

I dont think its about how you "push yourself".......... last time i could not move, this time i can..... this time i have been up and about (the house) a bit more, but, most days, other than medical appts i havent left the house.

So many people have said things like "have i learnt to handle it better" or "deal with better" etc etc.... the answer to that is NO..... last time was different...... i could NOT have done more last HG pregnancy than i did..... i have not used magical super powers to not be quite as ill this time. There is no skill what so ever in me walking downstairs. if i could have last time i would have..... but i couldnt.

I feel like i have learnt so much more about HG by having it a second time. There is no doubt at all the both experiances have been horrendous BUT my 1st pregnancy was far far worse, and the only reason i can empathise with those who really really really suffer and cant move, is because i know what its like.
There were many times last pregnancy that i actually thought i was going to die.... not rhetorically.... I actually thought my body was going to stop functioning.... and to actually feel like that is beyond horrendous and not something i will ever forget.
(this pregnancy, i have never genuinely believed that i was actually going to die)

nannyl thanks so much for sharing your experience. I was shocked this time round at how bad I was and how quickly i'd gone downhill as with my first pg I got veyr sick quickly but I could still have light and even listen to tv (as opposed to watching it). But 2nd time round I couldn't even listen to radio as listening made me feel sick so it was dark and solitary confinement.

I actually DID think I was going to die this time round, and i think it was part of the decision to terminate as i was getting genuinely worried about my physical health.

It gives me hope that susbequent HG pregnancies don't automatically get worse and that maybe maybe a next one may not be worse/same as the last one.

Still think you're incredibly brave for putting yourself through it again

Really good luck nemo.

I guess the thing is that you will never know, and hopefully your experiance may follow mine

I always knew that id have to risk it again as couldnt make DD an only child (for the reason that my Dad has health issues, and i love my sister to bits and i could not cope without my wonderful sister sharing the load with me)
My sister is one of my bestest friends

This time i have have made / am making it through, and my mum has been up to stay mid week for weeks on end, which has been great and i couldnt have got through without her ... but... she does drive me a bit mad.

I have told OH (who is desperate for 3 children, and before HG i was adament i wanted 4, but i dont now!) that in order for me to even think about another, many years down the line, i have to have a full time nanny. I will not compromise there. Yes we have all "managed" but it has been really hard on all of us, and i certainly do not wish to repeat the experiance with a baby and a toddler.
I will also never again let myself be pg in the run up to Xmas!!! though i didnt plan that this time either