Help please - threatened miscarriage for past 4 weeks

[ruthlouise]

Hi can anyone give us any positive outcome stories or further information?
I am currently 16 and half weeks pregnant.
My 12 week scan was all fine but 3 days later I was in A&E bleeding heavily :(
Was told there was no hope but had follow-up scan and baby was still alive but scan showed moderate bleed area. Have since had 4 more scans. Each seems to show further deterioration, by that I mean the bleed area became more extensive, leading to a collapse of the amniotic membrane around the baby. Todays scan showed blood in amniotic sac and reduced levels of amniotic fluid. Consultant says outlook is 'gloomy' but baby is still growing. Consultant also said this is vey unusual therefore difficult to give prognosis. My bleeding is much lighter as long as I rest lots. As soon as i do more (no lifting though) I have increased loss.
Please respond if you can give us any hope or have experienced sub-chorionic bleed (bleeding between the two uterine membranes), collapsed amniotic membrane or blood in amniotic fluid. Or if you experienced bleeding at this stage of pregnancy. If you had bleeding - how long did it take to resolve?
Sorry if I'm not being very clear. I've posted on a couple of other sites but got no responses which makes us feel there's not much hope.
many thanks
Ruth

Ruth i have no experience of a late m/c although have had 7 m/c ranging from 5 weeks to 14 weeks i couldn't leave this thread without saying what an incredibly brave woman you are and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family xx

Ruth - try to wait until you have had a period then you can try again. I was lucky (!?) my period came 28 days after the loss, my dd2 was born 11 months after the first dd!

I just wanted a baby, not to replace because you can't, but I just wanted a baby! Some people wait awhile longer because they don't feel ready. It is entirely up to you and dh. If anything like me you will hate being pregnant after what you have been through but it is a means to an end if you know what I mean.

If ever you want to talk about it please contact me.

Good luck X

Ruth, so glad to hear you're feeling better today. I guess that's how it will be in the next few months - some days much worse than others. I think you only have to wait for 1 cycle and then you can start ttc again. TBH you don't even have to wait one cycle but it makes pregnancy easier to date.

Saw the midwife today and she said I should wait 3 months before ttc but that is toooo long. One of the things which has kept me going today has been the thought of becoming pregnant again. posted loads of questions on the 'ttc after miscarriage thread' and blitzed the house which has helped me cope with setting the funeral date today - it will be Friday 7th April.

Pepperpots - Thank you - everyone is so nice and says how brave I am etc but being on this website, I've quickly learnt that there are so many amazing women out there who have been through so much - not the same as me but nevertheless some pretty traumatic experiences in themselves. I'm not really brave but am inspired by seeing so many 'survivors' Pepperpots -hope you don't mind my asking, have you had a baby since all your m/c's?

Glad to see you on here Ruthlouise and nice to hear you sounding positive and looking towards the future.

Lot's of {{hugs}} for you.
xx

my m/c have happened in the last six years and the last one was oct last year but i am blessed with 2 gorgeous sons im not saying it still doesnt break my heart evry day but it does get a little easier each day, just don't rush take your time, i know its a huge cliche but time really is a great healer xx

I'm sorry. Thats brave Pepperpots. My dd is 19 months so I know I'm lucky to have her but I so miss Isaac.

Did others of you show people photos of your baby that you lost?

I now have some photos on the pc of him and showed a friend this morning. I am torn between feeling they are too personal and others wont want to see pictures of a dead baby and the fact that to us he was so perfect and beautiful. I want people to acknowledge he was a well developed little baby not a 'foetus' but a real person - our son. My friend was surprised at his size, that he was indeed a baby and so perfect. She said 'thats not a miscarriage, its a bereavement'. That acknowledgement really helped but other people I know wouldn't be comfortable so I shan't show them. Is it 'bad taste'?

Ruth, I don't think it's bad taste at all. He's your beautiful little boy and people should be privileged you want to show them a picture of him.

I wonder why the midwife said to wait 3 months - it does sound a very long time.

Routhlouise- I was told to wait a while after my last miscarriage (oct 2004) but fell pregnant a month later and now have a 7month old baby.

So it just goes to show - anything is possible. Shes only told you that to give your body a chance to recover.

Good luck xx

Hi RuthLouise,

I have been following this thread and am so sad for your loss, you have been so brave.

Just to say I've had two m/c, my GP was keen that we wait 3 months (they say you need time to grieve for what you have lost) but my gynae said that's old fashioned and one proper period is enough, basically so they can date the pregnancy. I was keen both times to get going asap.

I had two periods after the last m/c before falling for a third time and am now due to give birth at the end of May.

I think you just know when you are ready.
Good luck and best wishes. x

ruth, i don't think its in bad taste at all. The worst m/c for me (although all were devastating) was when i went to hosp and they told me my womb was empty, iwent home and shortly after passed my baby (baby stopped growing at around 10wks) and i took pictures of it. I dont know why i think it was shock, don't get me wrong i dont show anyone willy nilly i thik its more to do with the fact that it was still my baby not just a "waste matter" as one very inconsiderate member of staff called it

I'm still not sure its not morbid but I really want to show people photos of our baby. Not everyone - I wouldn't want to make the MIL uncomfortable but would like friends to see him. Thanks to those of you who have been positive about this. spoke to a friend on the phone last night who said I just need to get over it and not dwell on things. I know thats true but I can't just pretend Isaac didn't exist which is what people are more comfortable with. Had a really sad day today

Pepperpots - that must have been so sad and traumatic for you. Stories of mistakes like that are so scary. I'm sorry. Are you on the conception forums?
I know this thread will 'die off' sooner or later (I shouldn't really be here now as I'm not pregnant but i find these messages are so supportive, thank you)but would like to keep an eye out for some of the people who have supported me on here to see how they're doing.

Loulou - end of May is a lovely time to have a birthday. I'm end of May and it was great as a child - always fell in the whitsun holiday week

jmum6 - I heard that you can be more fetile after m/c and think it might be due to high progesterone levels. due to the nature of my late m/c Ithink my levels will be high for a bit but have to also weigh this up against fact that bleeding is likely to be more prolonged due to how advanced pregnancy was. To be pregnant within 3 months would be good but i try to be realistic and recognise I probably won't be.

ruth i was on the ttc thread that you are now on, i started there last august and have recently come to the decision after many tears and that i will just be grateful with what i have (not that i wasnt anyway) please feel free to email me anytime if you search for sale therads with my name pepperpots you will find my email address. Just allow yourself time to grieve it doesnt happen over night take care xx

How are you doing today ruthlouise?

Hi Pepperpots. Thank you for asking. Today has been quite a good day. Yesterday I was scared I was losing the plot - cried most of the day yesterday but today only cried briefly in front of the doctor!!! Given a prescription for some antibiotics for a pelvic infection. Yesterday was hard as well because it was mothers day and my mum died just over 10 years ago - so miss her at the moment. Anyway, G.P has signed me off for a few more weeks so can concentrate on getting physically and emotionally well again. Had a good afternoon sorting out baby and maternity things etc and putting them in loft - out of sight is better .

Ruthlouise - like i said im ny earlier posts give yourself time, i'm not saying you will forget your little Isaac but in time you will replace the sadness with memories and the very short time you shared

ruth, what your friend said is absolutely true, what you experianced isn't a miscarraige in my eyes, you laboured and you brought a baby into this world, unfortunately he didn't live long, but he did live and breathe. that is a bereavment and not a miscarraige. don't be afraid to show your beautiful baby boy's photoes to people you feel close to.

Thanks Eve
Peopel on MN have been so kind.
I only joined a couple of weeks before Isaac died but thank goodness I discovered it 'cos don't know how I would have coped without the support I've had on here.
re 'bereavement', thats how I feel. Only reason I cried at Drs this morning was he called it a m/c. He was sympathetic but if I'd had a photo on me I would have stuck it in front of him and said 'Look at my baby'