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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Finding out the sex - would you? did you? would you again?

77 replies

IcouldstillbeJoseph · 26/06/2012 14:34

I'm a MW and from my experience, it is definitely more usual for the expecant parents to know the sex of their baby nowadays
When I was pregnant with DC1 I didn't want to know, and found out 'by accident' at 30 wks. I felt loads different about being pregnant when I knew. Felt more 'bonded' somehow, it was easier for me to imagine what life was going to be like (that sounds daft I know).
Anyway, now preg again and definitely going to try and find out this time. Completely changed my view on it.

Anyone not found out with DC2 but did with DC1? Anyone regret finding out etc?

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Indith · 27/06/2012 13:10

lovechoc I used to get so many complements about how clever I was having one of each, really bugged me. Now I've "ruined" it by having another boy so I don't get them so much, just old ladies who like that I've got one of each plus a spare heir .

BBisTitanium · 27/06/2012 13:13

I didnt with DS will with this DC (currently pg)

With DS we were treated like Oddments for not wanting to know, this time we want to know for practical reasons and so we can say brother / sister to DS to help him prepare best laid plans

BuntyCollocks · 27/06/2012 18:17

Found out with dc1, and can't wait to find out with this one!

Spiritedwolf · 27/06/2012 18:20

I'm 36 weeks pregnant with my first and we haven't found out. I don't really want to be laden down with gender-specific clothes (feel unisex ones are grand for young babies) and I also didn't want to make assumptions about our baby's personality based on sex.

People put a lot of emphasis on the sex of a baby because its something they can find out before birth/at birth but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really say a lot about the new person you are about to get to know. I have two sisters and two brothers and we are all very individual people, though if anything I am most like my youngest brother.

As a not very girly girl who loved dinosaurs and all animals (cute and fluffy or wriggly and slimy) as a child, I had no inclination to find out the sex of our child early to rush out and buy pink or blue stuff. My DH's main passion is transport and he's happy to inflict this interest upon encourage this interest in a child of either sex.

Of course I do realise that other parents are excited to find out what sex their child is and to buy gendered clothes (lets face it, they are the most easily available) and I'm not being judgey about it, just explaining why I didn't particuarly want to: I didn't want to know the sex of the baby months before I could get to know the baby him/herself.

BettyandDon · 27/06/2012 18:32

We're going to find out mainly for financial reasons! Already have a girl so we have heaps of girl things, including a pink hooded buggy, pink bumbo and pinkish bedroom that I spent a week designing and painting myself. If it's a boy we will need to get hold of boy colours in a few big ticket items and I may need to redecorate the room. We are really skint though so I could do without that tbh. If i had loads of money and a spare bedroom i wouldn't care about the sex. We will find out next week but I think it's a girl based on a very obvious looking 13.5 scan...

EightiesChick · 27/06/2012 18:34

Didn't find out, and would do same again. Preferred being surprised

ButtonBoo · 27/06/2012 20:25

raininginbaltimore - same! My DP has 1 brother. His brother has 2 boys. DP's father is one of 3 boys. We really wanted a girl. I have been convinced all my life I'd have girls but with dp's family line it looked unlikely. Couldn't resist finding out at the scan and I cried when they told me it was a girl!

I then started convincing myself that I'd be the one statistic where they got it wrong so I had them check that she was still a she at my 36 wk scan.

DD is 8mo now and I really can't imagine her being a boy IYKWIM!

Chunkychicken · 27/06/2012 20:56

We didn't find out with DD and enjoyed the speculation, the lists of names & choosing one that suited her minutes after she was born, the imagining of who our baby would be, but DH was adamant she was a girl all along, so it wasn't such a surprise to him!! :)

This time, I am VERY tempted but won't find out. Think I want to know so I can talk to DD about it all in more specific language, not that it matters either way to a 2yo. I swing between wanting the whole 'one of each' thing (regardless of how unpopular it seems to be to admit on MN) and wanting a girl the next day... I feel that if I found out at the scan, and it wasn't the 'correct' gender for my mood on that day, I would be incredibly disappointed/upset by it all, but can't imagine feeling disappointment at such a relatively inconsequential thing as sex when they place that newborn on my stomach/chest. So, unless it is obvious/unavoidable, we'll await their arrival to see whether they are pink or blue flavoured.

Dualta · 08/07/2012 17:03

I found out for my ds1 - pregnancy was long and gruelling for me so it was great to have a 'reveal' and a bit of excitement at 20 weeks. Afterwards I loved referring to the bump as 'him' and didn't feel that I missed out on a surprise at all.
Basically I couldn't delay gratification!

Now expecting Dc2 and cannot wait for the scan to find out whether it will be a brother or sister for our first.

Most of my friends didn't find out and they loved that too- its a gut feel thing I think.

Midgetm · 08/07/2012 20:27

I didn't find out with DC1 (girl) and also didn't find out this time at 20 weeks. However, I just had a 24 week scan and there was no mistaking what I saw. I was a little disappointed that I had seen to be honest as I like the element of surprise. However, I am now pleased as it gives DD time to adjust (she was furious at first as really wanted a sister) and practically I can get rid of a lot of DD's stuff now. People do seem to assume that it is fabulous to have one of each - which I always find a bit odd. I really didn't care, as long as the baby is healthy and happy I don't care what is between its legs.....

Nigglenaggle · 08/07/2012 21:25

I really wanted to find out but my other half didnt - plus my cousin had had a '99% girl' that was a boy - was really glad in the end I didnt, was lovely finding out on the day :) (And in the end was not disappointed that I didnt get a girl as I feared, but just glad baby was alive!)

Daisybell1 · 09/07/2012 07:20

I found out at 27 weeks - I had pre-natal depression and was terrified it would be a girl, and so needed time for some counselling to adjust.

We didn't tell anyone else though, which worked for us. Next time round I'm not sure, will see how my hormones are behaving!

JCDeek · 09/07/2012 09:58

Didn't find out with 1st 2 pregnancies, and both were boys...which is what we secretly wanted.
Am now 34 weeks with pg3 and not found out this time either - every one assumes I'm hoping for a girl this time...but we like boys!!!
8 yrs ago with ds1 hardly anyone asked if I knew what I was having, 2 yrs ago a good few asked if I knew...this time around EVERYONE has asked!!
I love the not knowing and the mystery that is going on within...labour needs something to have to look forward to at the end!!!

ilovesprouts · 09/07/2012 12:20

i only found out the sex of dc3 boys the older 2 dcs thy did not tell you he sex then .

TitsalinaBumSquash · 09/07/2012 12:25

I found out with all 3 of mine.

This current pregnancy I found out purely because I would have had to think about moving house if he had been a she, also as it's DP's first he is so excited and really wanted to know, and since the scan he has been able to bond a bit more now baby has a name.

However, having a 3rd DS I was made to feel like announcing another boy was delivering bad news to my friends/family. Some of them even felt it was appropriate to say "oh.... well, never mind, you can always try again." as if this baby is anything other than a blessing just because he is the same sex as my other children.

AKMD · 09/07/2012 12:37

DC1 was a surprise, which was fine but I did have a second of disappointment :(

DC2 we did find out, mainly because I had awful PND with DC1 and I'm trying everything and anything to stop that happening again, but also because I didn't want to be disappointed at the arrival of a beautiful new baby.

DC3 I would find out but not tell DH He is the worst secret-keeper in the whole world for anything like this!

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 09/07/2012 12:43

Found out with DS as too impatient.

Havent found out this time (36 weeks with DC2). This will be our last and I just fancied doing it a bit differently as everything else has been quite same-same up until now

PetiteRaleuse · 09/07/2012 12:50

I found out with DD1 and a couple of weeks ago found out the new bump is DD2. Over here they tell you as a matter of course - you'd have to be quick to stop them telling you in fact. If i'd had the choice I would have asked anyway.

Mainly practical reasons - birth has to be declared quickly so need names sorted out, needed to know what kinds of clothes to buy as I bought massive batches on ebay to save money. Also am really bad at surprises and not knowing would have stressed me out.

BettyandDon · 09/07/2012 12:54

Didn't find out with DC1, a girl, as it didn't seem to matter.

Found out with DC2, another girl, as we are really skint and had to know what to do with all our girly things and bedroom decor etc.

I would find out if either of you have a preference as it gives time to adjust.

1944girl · 09/07/2012 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TobyLerone · 09/07/2012 13:16

We found out with DC1. With DC2, I didn't want to find out, but (now)XH did. So we tossed a coin in the waiting room and I lost. Then the technician couldn't tell anyway!

If I ever had another, I wouldn't want to find out.

YoulllaughAboutItOneDay · 09/07/2012 14:27

1944Girl - It's awful the way people respond to gender sometimes isn't it? I have two girls. I have never had any negative comments about that (and I think, in our society, girls are becoming somewhat preferred. I hear far more negative stories from mums of two boys. Or maybe my husband gets the comments with two girls). However, people ask if we are going to have a third. When I say that we haven't ruled it out, they often say 'so you might try for a boy?'. No, we would try for a baby.

janeejane · 09/07/2012 15:06

I am only 33 weeks pregnant and my POV might change after the birth but as I had so many problems getting a BFP and then m/c's it seemed frivolousness to worry about the sex. Also as far as bonding goes maybe I am still trying to protect my heart a little in case anything goes wrong.

I just want a healthy baby I don't care what it is - but this is just from my personal experience.

Also I have asked that it is DP who tells me when it comes out as I have a romantic idea of him saying -we've a son/daughter!

1944girl · 09/07/2012 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

longbay · 09/07/2012 22:10

Didn't find out with DC1 and am now pregnant with DC2 and decided not to find out again.
However I do think sometimes that it would make preparing for the baby a bit easier if we knew the sex e.g clothes, nursery colours etc
Also some people say that perhaps it makes it better for the older child to find out earlier so that they can prepare for their new baby sister or brother.
Who knows, all I know is that there aren't many surprises left in this life so why not let it be a surprise.
Plus, i think it makes meeting your baby for the first time even more special :)

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