Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Finding out the sex - would you? did you? would you again?

77 replies

IcouldstillbeJoseph · 26/06/2012 14:34

I'm a MW and from my experience, it is definitely more usual for the expecant parents to know the sex of their baby nowadays
When I was pregnant with DC1 I didn't want to know, and found out 'by accident' at 30 wks. I felt loads different about being pregnant when I knew. Felt more 'bonded' somehow, it was easier for me to imagine what life was going to be like (that sounds daft I know).
Anyway, now preg again and definitely going to try and find out this time. Completely changed my view on it.

Anyone not found out with DC2 but did with DC1? Anyone regret finding out etc?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

missingmymarbles · 26/06/2012 18:07

With DC1, my DH wanted to know and I didn't, and so we agreed that if I had to have non-routine scans for any reason then we would find out but if not, then we wouldn't. In the event, I did have extra scans after 20 weeks and so we found out and were really glad we knew. We said after that, that we would always find out if we were ever to have another. This time around we found out at the 20 week scan, but we always said we wouldn't make too many plans just in case it was wrong - I'd hate to get fixed on one and then get a shock - not that it would make any difference, but you know what I mean, I'm sure. Again, I have had several scans with different sonographers, so I have had a few opinions, and they all said the same, so I figure they can't all be wrong Interestingly, I have had a feeling about it from early on both times and have been right, so not that surprised by the scans.

MrsHuxtable · 26/06/2012 19:34

We went for a private gender scan as early as was possible with out first and so far only child, DD.
I really wanted to know as I really wanted a girl and figured finding out early would give me time to get used to the idea of having a son, had I been carying one. As it happened I got my DD and the fact I knew made the rest of my horrible HG pregnancy that little bit better.

I hope to get pregnant again next year and will def be finding out again!

Esclaffer · 26/06/2012 19:47

We didn't find out with dd2 and dd3. We didn't care about the genders at all so no risk of the moment being ruined by temporary disappointment. And we wanted to be surpised.

With dd1, I wanted to have something which seemed concrete to look forward to as it didn't really feel real. And with dd4, I felt like we needed to know if it was a boy to change our mindset.

Kazar99 · 26/06/2012 19:57

A colleague who already had a DS got told that number two was a girl so threw out all DS's baby clothes, bought lots of pink clothes and painted the nursery pink. Imagine their surprise when DC2 was born and was another boy!

We are expecting twins but didn't find out so we don't have to worry whether what we get told is right or not. We'll be happy as long as they are both healthy (and hopefully not too early either) :)

Spookey80 · 26/06/2012 20:02

Didn't find out with either and glad, was so exciting when they popped out, and telling the parents, families etc..
...however I did had a feeling with both, I just 'knew'. ..and I was right. I have a boy and a girl.
Wouldn't find out if we have another, so exciting.

jennybluetree · 26/06/2012 20:15

I found out and its really nice to be able to buy pink clothing and plan a bit more - I have heard that they can still get it wrong ( even though its only a small chance) so baby is called 'Babs' at the moment and I have bought some yellow and white sleepsuits just in case!

Even if it is a boy I wont be disappointed in the least :)

TenMinutesLate · 26/06/2012 20:23

I was so sure what I was having I didn't even ask......hahahahahaha I was wrong both times :-)

Now on third, and all things going well, we won't find out the sex. I know we both really want to know but the surprise was utterly brilliant so we'll hold off. I don't really do surprises or suchlike as my DP cannot keep a secret so this is the one unknown thing I can really get excited about....bit like Christmas day when you're 6.

And just re-reading that last sentence. I don't mean to say that if you found out the sex it's any less exiting, of course not, but it's the element of surprise that I just love x

My BF found out with both and it was a lot easier sorting out presses, clothes, decoration, and hand me downs, etc - she was sorted a long time before me :-)

theressomethingaboutmarie · 26/06/2012 20:24

We didn't find out with DC1 (girl) but wanted to find out with DC2 (I am 31 was). We were told boy at 20 week scan but at later scan (am being monitored due to antibody issues) was told looks like a girl (that was at 29 weeks). We have another scan on Thursday and will check again. Found out (or at least tried to!) as DD, now 4 yo, was having some difficulties adjusting. We will be thrilled either way due to concerns with this one and previous mc.

Creamtea1 · 26/06/2012 20:42

Didn't find out with ds1. Paid for private gender scan with second at 20 weeks and was told girl. Had to go for nhs scan at 30 weeks because of breech where they told me 'he' should move! Ds2 born 10 weeks later. Ttc number 3 at the mo and absolutely won't find out as want the surprise and don't want to give anyone the satisfaction of 'she's finding out because she wants a girl'

raininginbaltimore · 26/06/2012 21:13

WE haven't thrown out the boy clothes just in case!

dietcokeandwine · 26/06/2012 21:47

I didn't find out for either of my two DSs and have absolutely no plans to find out the gender of DC3 either! I can kind of understand why some people want to find out in advance, but I would never, EVER want to find out. I love the magic of a surprise at delivery, and can't see the point of taking that magic away! I always find that when I've been told what a friend or family member is expecting in advance, I'm far less excited to hear the baby arrival news simply because there is no surprise. It just seems to take half the pleasure of the good news away if it's simply confirmation of what they've already known for a few months - particularly if they've already chosen and announced what names will be! But that's just my own personal opinion, I have friends who cannot understand why you would not want to find out.

yellowflowers · 26/06/2012 21:53

We didn't find out. I really wanted a girl but felt if i didn't know in advance then when he/she came out I'd be thrilled whatever because it would be a baby. I had a girl, but when she came out we forgot to ask. We'd been cuddling her and saying hello for a couple of mins when the midwife asked if we wanted to know the sex!

Am pg again and not finding out - i feel we need to be fair!

HelloBear · 26/06/2012 21:53

We did not find out for first as we wanted a surprise. It made the first pregnancy really fun, guessing, name picking, just buying 'unisex' clothes etc. It was lovely hearing from the MWs 'a girl'.

But with my second we have found out, this was due to possible problems and we just wanted to know. However all OK now and I am loving having a different experience of knowing. So buying the clothes and preparing for future life. Oh and it is a boy. One of each

Creamtea1 · 26/06/2012 22:13

Hellobear - why the need for 'one of each' plus the big grin?

Creamtea1 · 26/06/2012 22:14

To clarify, I'm asking that as your comment infers that one of each is better...

miraclebabyplease · 27/06/2012 08:35

We found out, I wasn't sure I wanted to but the baby gave us no choice. It helped me bond though as I have had hg through most of this pregnancy. Once I knew I could lie in bed making plans. I'm still a little nervous it will be wrong as I have lits of pink clothes but if baby is healthy then I won't care!x

NattyCraig · 27/06/2012 09:07

Hello,

This is my first post on here :)

I am 22 weeks pregnant with my first and found out the sex at 16+6 this was due to us flying out to America to get married (all booked before our surprise) and I thought I would be able to find some fabby baby clothes out there (which I did), so booked a private scan for the day before we flew out.

Definately do not regret finding out at all (we are expecting a baby boy) as I feel so much more prepared for his arrival and as we are buying a house I will be able to decorate his bedroom for a baby boy rather than it being totally neutral. Plus he has some fabby clothes already :)

gladders · 27/06/2012 09:53

we weren't going to find out with ds bt then he was breech and we had lots of extra scans - I just couldn't cope with all the different sonographers knowing and us not so we asked in the end! It was still a lovely surprise - very emotional - just a bit earlier than finding out in the delivery room.

with dd we decided to find out. i felt sure it was a boy (felt like i was supposed to have 2 boys) so there was a slight let down when sonographer announced it was a girl. so for me, having those few months to get used to the idea and buy girls clothes was a very important part of my bonding with her.

had moment of panic after she was born (by cs) when anaesthetist referred to the baby as "he"!! (anaesthetist had not really been concentrating.....)

elizaregina · 27/06/2012 10:00

found out with DC1, had too - as someone else said all such a surprise and so scary - and had lost my mum so really really wanted a girl and wanted time to get over it! Veyr pleased and def felt more bonded once knew.

dc2 - was going to leave it as a surpirse but just couldnt, and again, i feel so much more bonded now i know sex. A third..would like to try and wait!!!

MissTapestry · 27/06/2012 10:44

We found out at the 20 week scan, and DD is due in 2 weeks. People seem really taken aback that we've found out- I keep getting the 'didn't you want it to be a surprise?'
My usual response is 'well yes, we had a surprise. At the 20 week scan. When we found out we're having a girl.'

but then I've been a mardy bitch since I've been pg

I don't comment when people choose not to find out, so why can't I haven't treated to the same courtesy?

WeeLors · 27/06/2012 11:48

We didn't find out with DS as I wanted to have that surprise and I must say that when he was born it was just so wonderful and overwhelming to finally meet our baby that finding out the sex wasn't that important to me i.e. it would not have been any less magical an experience if I already knew the sex.

This time round we have found out (another DS). Firstly, when we were ttc I very much had a slight preference for a girl (for completely selfish 'I would love to have a daughter' reasons) so we decided to find out so that I had time to get used to the idea if it was a boy (DP had no preference). However, when I actually got pregnant my preference went completely out of the window and I didn't mind a jot what the sex was as long as the baby was healthy. I was still desperate to know asap though, just cos I was so excited and wanted to picture our new family dynamic. Plus, as I said above, the most magical part of DS's birth was meeting him, not finding out whether he was a girl or a boy so I figured why not find out?

Glad I did cos I'm having a lovely time picturing the future with my two wee boys while I'm waiting to meet DS2. We haven't told anyone else we know though, we wanted it to be our lovely little secret. Plus, as someone above said, I think its nice to announce the sex and name after the birth, more exciting for friends and family that way.

WeeLors · 27/06/2012 11:56

MissTapestry - I don't know why people feel the need to comment either. I think its completely up to the individual whether they want to find out or not. Different horses for different courses and all that...

I was happy to wait for DC1 but just knew this time around that it would kill me to wait so found out. It certainly doesn't take away from the experience of birth if you already know, you're meeting your baby for the first time - its magical regardless of whether you already know the sex or not, you'll find that out for yourself in a few weeks though

sunshinejanuary · 27/06/2012 12:26

Before DD1 I had known of a few women who had been incorrectly informed of gender. Not at our hospital I have to say but that madee nervous, I worried if we were expecting One sex and got another I would feel the baby 'wasn't mine' ridiculous I know!
Also I had a fairly strong preference and am pregnant with DC2 and feel the same this time too. I agree with a previous poster - I felt if I found out the gender at the scan I would feel dissapoinent and then guilt at that dissapointment which would all be unnecessary as at birth I wouldn't care as I would be so happy they were healthy and mine! This is exactly what happened. After DD1 was born I was so happy to see her someone had to suggest I checked her gender!
I was convinced she was a boy, I feel the same way this time!

TheHairyBaker · 27/06/2012 12:46

I didn't find out with DC1(a gorgeous son) and am currently 27 weeks pregnant and didn't find out at the 20 week scan. I am however sitting less than 5m from a sealed envelope with the all important information in. My instinct is that it's another boy but love the excitement of not knowing.

lovechoc · 27/06/2012 12:47

It's the 'one of each! how clever am I!!' kind of comments that get on my nerves on these threads. No one can possibly decide what gender they're having, it's the luck of the draw.

I didn't find out with DC1, wanted a 'surprise'. With DC2 however, I wanted to know what it was like to find out at the scan, and we did. Wouldn't change the decisions that I made back then, have no regrets. And I'd do it all again the same way.

Flip

1 2 3 4