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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Don't touch my bump!!

43 replies

Penny2012 · 15/06/2012 07:47

I don't mind close family and friends touching my bump- people who I'm close to, who would hug me anyway for example. But why oh why do strangers/family who you don't actually know that well feel they have the right to touch it? F off!!! Anyone else feel this way? I'm glad I'm pregnant but the stomach growing isn't actually my favourite part. I feel swollen and self conscious. I'm not a curio!

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milk · 15/06/2012 08:22

I'm a grouchy bitch when pregnant, so everyone is too scared to touch my bump Grin

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 15/06/2012 09:52

I've yet to experience this but I'm seriously dreading it. What do you say when it happens? Shock

Pinkie29 · 15/06/2012 10:50

I am dreading this and I'm just under 6 weeks!! I will literally push people's hands away and firmly say 'don't touch me' I hate my personal space being invaded normally let alone when I'm going to have a bump! I'm desperate to start showing too Grin

I think it's so rude even friends and family I would never just touch without permission

RobinSparkles · 15/06/2012 10:55

If anyone touches your bump give their arse a quick grope. See how they like it!

Actually, don't do that - you might look like a weirdo! I don't see why anyone would want to touch someone else's bump Hmm. I can understand someone close but not someone you hardly know!

Goldrill · 15/06/2012 15:45

No-one has ever been sufficiently stupid to even attempt to touch either of my bumps! I suspect I just don't radiate the kind of vibes which might make it seem like a good plan - I guard my personal space quite effectively, perhaps. You might experience less of it than you think?

TheOneWithTheHair · 15/06/2012 15:47

People did this to me and I hated it. I resorted to rubbing their tummys back and saying 'aaaaahhhhh how sweet'. They didn't do it again! Well not to me anyway

Pinkie29 · 15/06/2012 17:12

Think I'll do the same hair or poke them in the eye Grin

Lottapianos · 15/06/2012 17:16

My BF is pregnant and this is doing her head in too. She's too polite to say anything but tries hard to shift out of the way before contact is established - not easy at 7 months pregnant! I heard of someone who would block the person's hand and say 'do you mind, I'm feeling really sore/tender today!'

But YANBU OP - I don't understand why someone would think it's ok to feel any part of a person's body unless they know them extremely well. And even then not without consent!

Katla · 21/06/2012 21:57

I have taken to doing dramatic sidesteps saying "don't touch me!" in 'mock' horror if it's a stranger/ someone from work. Why people think it's ok is very odd. I don't mind if it's my friends but shop assistants/ random people is too much. For close family I just tell them to b**r off, my dad is particularly annoying, but he knows I'm crabby anyway!

HelloBear · 21/06/2012 22:07

I f*ing hate this, it happened twice at a party I went to at the weekend. I so wanted to tell them to bugger off. I find it so odd, why, why, why would you want to touch someone's stomach anyway.

Chunkychicken · 22/06/2012 06:33

I was dreading it with my DD but it never happened - my family & friends rarely bump-touched, & they would ask first, let alone strangers. I guess I don't look like you want to bump touch??!!

I think it happens less now - people are more aware of 'personal space' etc but obviously there are always people willing to buck a trend... I just hope I'm lucky enough to avoid them this time around.

Crumm24 · 22/06/2012 07:58

I am 13+4 and my MIL did this to me yesterday!! Am a size 12-14 and no way near showing and I felt so violated as am self conscious of my tummy as it is! I was so surprised/upset I didn't say anything - any advice?! I think when am obviously pregnant showing a bit, I won't mind family members as much but I don't want strangers touching me and certainly no one stroking my fat!! Sad
XxX

MyDaydream · 22/06/2012 08:11

MIL tried it with me when we told her, I was 11 weeks and not showing I stepped back every time. I then got DP to tell her not to touch me. I hate being touched, I find hugging friends strange and only want DP touching it since he's the only one that touches my stomach normally. I'm just planning on stepping away and saying I don't want to be touched.

GingerDoodle · 22/06/2012 10:01

I really don't mind that much - perhaps I am werid lol.

Splinters · 22/06/2012 10:10

I'm also in v early stages of pregnancy and can't quite believe that people actually do this -- do random strangers in the post office etc actually start putting their hands all over you? What a revolting thought.

No-one, no-one, will be allowed to do this to me. I'll be taking a sharp step backwards as soon as I see hands shooting out towards me.

I also hate it when male acquaintances I don't want to kiss don't take the hint when I keep my distance and don't proffer my cheek. Think I might start being a bit more definite about that one too!

AgentFelix · 22/06/2012 11:21

I loved this when I was pregnant. Seriously! I remember going into the Disney Store at 38 weeks pregnant and the cashier say "oooh, what a lovely bump" and reaching out and then us having a good chat about when I was due etc.

I've always took it as a lovely sign of humanity. People are happy to see a woman carrying a baby and they want to be part of it. I feel the same when I see a heavily pregnant woman. It's such an amazing thing.

I'm obviously in the minority though.

aliasjoey · 22/06/2012 11:28

I had a very small bump and my MIL used to touch it and say 'are you sure you're pregnant?' Hmm

SwissArmyWife · 22/06/2012 11:30

I agree with Agent - I think it's just a natural reaction for people to do it, to connect with this whole new life that's developing, to show their joy for the pregnancy. (after all, we're made to reproduce, and it's cause for celebration)

But of course it's also an instinctive thing for the woman to feel protective towards her child, inside or out!

I don't mind it, personally. Makes me feel important Grin

signet2012 · 22/06/2012 11:48

I vocalised a lot in early pregnancy that when I had a bump noone would touch it. Grin. I'm 30 weeks now and apart from a few brave souls who I growled at Boone else has. My dad bless him actually asked me if he could touch it and then stroked it with a big daft grin on his face Smile

Splinters · 22/06/2012 11:58

Yeah but it's not just about wanting to protect your child, it's also about not wanting to be fondled, in a place that no-one except my dh is ever usually allowed to touch, just because other people fancy having having a fondle. It may be an amazing thing that I have a new life growing inside me, but it is still my body! MINE!

AgentFelix · 22/06/2012 12:42

A fondle Shock.

I will never again, ever touch a pregnant womans stomach.

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 22/06/2012 12:52

I'm with splinters - it crosses the line. It's not ok to grope someone who's not pregnant, so why is it ok to grope me? Shock

I'm fine with family and friends having a prod (and they usually ask!) but a stranger? Really? Shock

jessebuni · 22/06/2012 13:25

See i went through phases with this one. Family and close friends is fine with me, they like to share the experience and whilst sometimes I felt self concious I did understand that they were just excited for me.

However a woman randomly started feeling my bump in mcdonalds (i know naughty to eat that crap anyway let alone when pregnant but i couldn't resist) i went mental at her. another time a woman in a furniture store was talking to me about my bump and pregnancy and AFTER a whole conversation she ASKED if i minded her feeling my bump and I was alright with it because she was nice and not creepy about it and asked permission first and waited to see my reaction before just reaching out. I knew that if i said no to her she genuinely would have been fine with it and totally understood.

But the number of people that just lean down and start touching, feelign and prodding without asking as if being pregnant makes your stomach public property is insane!!!!

Splinters · 22/06/2012 14:50

Plus also, I think (as you may judge from my reaction above) that this is in many ways going to be a weird time body-wise, when it's hard enough to feel like it really is my body and for me to say what happens to it. Yes, I've chosen to have a baby, with all the strangeness (and wonderfulness) of having another person developing inside me, and I have a responsibility to take care of it now, but that is not going to be without its unsettling moments. And frankly, for me at least, the possibility of people I don't feel totally comfortable with feeling entitled to have a poke is not going to be at all helpful.

Obv. if you've built up some kind of a relationship with a person, even if just through a short chat, and you feel ok with them and they ask, it could be totally fine. But I just have a feeling this issue in general is something that I'm going to find really hard to deal with if it arises.

Wildwaterfalls · 22/06/2012 15:44

Wow, this seems to happen to other people a lot! Nearly 28 weeks here with obvious bump but no one has tried to touch it yet (other than DH obviously)... No idea how I will feel when someone does.