Fantastic 40+ Mums To Be

[10000fireflies]

A lovely shiney new thread for us to keep chatting on.

hello all and welcome sesquipedality!

lrm thanks for scanner troll support, she really wrecked my day, but i know im really oversensitive when it comes to mean people and bullies, its like their meanness lingers with me like a black cloud for a bit :( just can't let it go like dpi does. my mum would say toughen up, but at my age and hormone levels seems unlikely!

exexe why are nhs reluctant re epidurals? makes me much more likely to go the elcs route...

whatname are you ok? would a scan really mean you had to have hospital care?

ah pram talk. I've started thinking about it at last but am still bewildered so keep on with the descriptions of what you are all getting, i need the education! for the experts: my requirements in order if priority are:

1. light to lift in and out of car in view of caesarian
2. capable of outdoor walks. don't kmean hill walking, but maybe bumpy paths!
3. car seat compatible- is this even important? maybe this is 5
4. lasting till dc is very old
5. no more expensive than absolutely necessary... but i think i want a new one

so... what do you think, pram-agony aunts? i guess only 1and 2 are crucial to me.

ps its a little girl!!

seaside congratulations on a girl. Girls are fab.

Car seat compatible is not necessary imo as the recommended time a little one is in them is about 45 mins, so unless it is a very short trip, I think it does them good to get out and lay flat.

Most folk get rid of a travel system or bulky pram 2 in 1, and buy a fancy umbrella fold by the time baby is about a year old. If mine were not so near in age I would get a Maclaren XT or similar. Will get one once DD2 is walking all the time.

Do not choose a pram because of lifting after a CS as you should not be lifting or driving for some time!

With DC1 I had an epidural and had to wait ages, then it did not take, and it was hard to administer whilst contracting. It was a hideous birth so I am going down ELCS route like last time. I actually disagree that horror stories should not be told. Everyone I spoke to kept the truth from me until after I had delivered, as they did not want to frighten me. I was very angry. I was not a kid and had asked for honest stories (had not found MN then) and felt patronised. I had a wonderful water birth planned, and had I known the truth, I would not have felt so disappointed, and that I was a failure as a woman etc.

About umbrella folds, they often have carry cot adaptations, or you could use a soft cot like Phil and Teds if a winter baby.

For off road type stuff there is the top of the range Baby Jogger City Mini. They are about 300 quid though. On phone so cannot do a linkey.

Bytheseaside Yay a girl! How did they tell you? They were very non-committal with me. I think they do have to be careful as they can be wrong but I was getting comments like 'this looks more like a girl than a boy, of course its not guaranteed' although she did also say 95% certain.

I don't know why but everyone I spoke to were asking for epidurals but just didn't end up getting it.
I ended up getting one with ds1 because firstly they ignored me for hours and hours (got my notes mixed up with someone who'd come in with false contractions so thought I was making a big deal out of nothing!)
I ended up very distressed and the baby had to be delivered by ventouse so they finally let me have one. Its amazing when you get it but I do think they're reluctant unless they think theres a need other than just pain relief.

I had a travel system with ds1 but didn't bother with ds2. I'm not getting one this time either. Will just lift the baby out of the car seat and into the buggy for shopping and stuff and just carry the car seat in if visiting.

My car seat was so heavy with the baby in it, I left it in the car and just put baby in and out. Both summer babies thankfully.

Plucked up the courage to tell DH I have bought the P&T and he is happy as I said we could sell the Silver Cross XT which is a monster of a pushchair. Hoping to put it on eBay. It is a bit chewed on the foam handlebar, but it is so comfy for DD2 and I will be sad to see it go. Been looking at the accessories for P&Ts. I feel happier now I have chosen a pram. Just hope it is as good as it sounds.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. DD2 is on the mend thankfully, but I am now full of cold, and they usually go to my chest. Only 5 more days at work! Yay!

Evening all. On bb so can barely read this so keeping it short! Baby Boy Fireflies arrived 10pm 21 June, significantly on the longest day. Traumatic emcs, but all's
well that ends well. He is gorgeous! Hugs to all and more of an update when back home in day or so.

Fireflies xx

Evening all. On bb so can barely read this so keeping it short! Baby Boy Fireflies arrived 10pm 21 June, significantly on the longest day. Traumatic emcs, but all's
well that ends well. He is gorgeous! Hugs to all and more of an update when back home in day or so.

Fireflies xx

FF, congratulations! Wonderful news, although sorry you had a traumatic time. Looking forward to hearing all about your beautiful boy.
Bytheseaside, lovely for you to find out it's a little girl!
Valium, sorry you're feeling rough, bet those last 5 days can't go quickly enough.

Congratulations FF and welcome boy FF. Sorry you had a hard time. Glad you are both safe and well. Make sure you are waited on like a queen for at least 8 weeks x just baby cuddles and food x

FF welcome to your little boy and hope you will recover soon from emcs.
VQ not long now before mat leave, don't worry. Hope DD did not infect you as well.
Seaside, welcome to the little girls gang

Celebrating 6th anniversary today, we have booked a nice restaurant in a lovely park but the sky is cloudy....

Our 7 year anniversary is on Wednesday and I have not even got a card yet. DH has his birthday tomorrow, so we are taking the kids out for lunch today as a joint celebration kinda thing. Hardly romantic I know, but at least I remembered!

FF - Yeh Baby boy FF - Look after yourself and little blue bean. Hope you recover really soon.

Valium - Have a lovely lunch and make sure you dont let the side down and have all courses available!!!
Yesterdays lunch time table talk was childbirth. Some of the stories were a tad scarey to say the least. It will be what it will be. Small problem is I have IBS so when I get stressed or really nervous the bowel gates open so look out who is ever down below . I am sure partner will think it most amusing after the event if I make a mess. Sorry ladies not a nice subject first thing Sunday morning, just trying to make light of something that has me pooing my pants ,
Hope you start to feel better very soon, roll on 5 days for you. I am on the count down only 8 weeks of work to do with 2 weeks holidays in the middle to break it up.

Exexe- Not sure on Lincoln hospital policy on epidurals will ask midwife next appointment in 3 weeks. I know its only a small think but the thought of some pain relief keeps me sane. Fear of the unknown

Bythesea- Loved your thread ending !! Its a girl !! So pleased for you

Well ladies, just taken delivery of my breakfastf,bacon butties, poached eggs and cup of tea. He's a good egg. He's popped to the gym for an hour while I have a slow breakfast get up and get ready for a mooch around town. Spot of lunch and home for an hour or two kip. Wishing everyone a lovely day

ps - How bloody hard is it now to put on socks and pants, exhausted !!

Everybody pees and poos themselves in labour, but the midwives are very discrete. There is no way pushing something out of your vag and other bodily fluids staying put. Charming I know!

FF so good to hear from you. Been worrying my little midget head. Sounds like you did indeed experience the longest day. Looking forward to hearing all about it when you get home. Welcome to little FF, can't wait to hear more about you and your entrance into the world.

LRM If you insist you should get your epidural. Just be forceful and explain your fears. I got one, I think it was because my eyes were rolling in my head and I threatened to kill them if they didn't. Not sure I would have one again - will try without but I am equally ready to threaten violence again if need be.

I think I may have done a little pooh in labour but as VQ says - I didn't really know about it but I seem to remember the midwife whipping something away - DH never noticed either when I quizzed him about it. I like to think it never happened but.... So much other stuff comes out a pooh is the last of our worries but still always the thing that haunts us!

HP Hope you had a lovely anniversary.

VQ I still haven't got anything for DH's birthday 6 weeks ago so you are a better woman than I.

I am still really struggling with tiredness. Eating makes me tired - always want a nap after lunch. I can easily sleep at least an hour in the afternoon. Are you all the same or am I just lazy? I wonder if it is my age or if I am anemic again. Not having any of my other normal symptoms of anemia though.

Off to see Mathilda today. Very much looking forward to it but hoping DD can deal with the scary bits. Also hoping I can cope with staying awake when the lights go down. Don't want to pay £60 for a nap - that is an expensive nap.

The P&T was not worth a tender. Thankfully I had said I would pay cash on collection. It was filthy, scratched, a different model to described, and clearly older than stated. It also had cigarette burns on the fabric. Would not put a dog in it. Very disappointed. Needless to say, I walked away.

congrats FF on your baby boy! fantastic news! woo!
I am starting to feel less sick now, which is good news, but still get tired quickly. Told our two boys yesterday, and they had eyes as big as saucers! they are very excited,and busy suggesting names (eg Banana Baby - !). MIL less delighted, and seems annoyed for some reason, and cross that baby will be born in december and not summer. No pleasing some folk.
everyone else however, has been lovely and very pleased for us, which is nice.
We are hoping to reuse pram and car seat etc, so long as not gone mouldy, and we can actually find it in the garage! Will however need a whole new car, which might be slightly more expensive...
hope everyone doing ok!

fireflies congratulations!! What lovely news :)

Thanks everyone for advice on prams etc - keep it coming! Especially valium - I'm following your complicated tribulations with interest :) Good to know I can maybe ditch the expensive combos and go for something cheaper. Don't worry I know I won't be lifting straight after a caesarian, its just that I imagine there will be a few weeks when I'm officially 'cleared' for normal duty, and dp has gone back to work, but when I still might feel a bit sore, and I don't want to be stuck in the house all that time ...

Ah KMR sounds like telling DSs was lovely - silly old MIL, bet she'll come round when baby arrives. It's great when the sickness subsides, isn't it?

Midget I nap all the time too! Especially after lunch. I fell asleep in a public place last week ... My iron's just a little bit low and tiredness was my only symptom too - so I'm taking spatone. I think MWs can check pretty easily for you?

littlered your post makes me think it's time for me to teach dp to cook .... my fault really as I'm too bossy in the kitchen - hes great at doing all the cleaning, but a bit restricted to cheese on toast when it comes to dinner.

exexe yes our sonographer was even more vague about committing to the sex than yours, but I think she was just being difficult, as the signs / absence of signs seemed pretty clear! I didn't really mind either way, but feel really delighted. As is DP, who seemed to 'melt' with the news - so lovely.

Baby girl is having a good old kick today! xxx

Hi everyone . I'm a lurker on here and on the over 40s conception thread. Are any of you around 44 and conceived naturally? I'm beginning to despair as have just had my second MC in 5 months. Needing some hope that one day I will get a good egg.

Hpbp, hope you had a nice anniversary lunch and the weather behaved for you. And to you Valium, sorry the pushchair was so awful! Thank goodness you hadn't had to pay upfront. LRM, your Sunday sounded lovely. Midget, I'm tired pretty much all the time as well. Hope you enjoyed Mathilda, would love to see it. KMR, your boys sound so sweet! DS picked Buttercup for a girl , but also Rosie which we may go with but the Italian version of Rosa (DP is half Italian and DS has an Italian name). Bytheseaside, enjoy the kicks! Hi blackcats. I'm 44 and conceived naturally. We weren't trying but I'd been told at my last smear that TMI ALERT, it was "all drying up down there, you're probably perimenopausal". I'm so sorry for your losses, wishing you lots and lots of love & luck for the future.

My sickness is definitely easing apart from in the evenings when it's still pretty bad. Have just had a medicinal Crunchie . Can't wait to get a proper bump instead of just looking flabby and unhealthy.

Thanks Knotty and Bytheseaside I feel much better about my laziness tiredness now. I may chuck a couple of extra iron tablets down me just in case as it is getting silly now. I am much like a baby myself. Eat, sleep, eat, sleep.

All this buggy talk makes me feel inferior. I intend to sling it as much as possible and then get it into a Maclaren stroller as soon as possible. I found all those bulky buggies and travel systems a PITA with DD1 - couldn't wait to get her into the smallest thing possible. I have an old M&P buggy that lays flat(ish) which I will use for the first couple of months if I really have to but they take up too much room and get on my nerves. Living in London having something small enough for buses and tubes without making enemies and quick to fold to throw in the boot of my car is my priority. Poor child will be in its stroller before you can say 'my neck muscles aren't ready yet'.

Knotty Rosa is lovely - I love Italian names but as I have no roots it would just be pretentious for me. My girls list is still too long to share. Boys is getting more narrowed down. Decided I like solid normal names. So easy to sound like a ponce in my part of north London that I am fighting it! We are bad at decisions. Took a day or so to name DD1 as she just didn't fit the names we had selected... On the bump front - happy for you to share mine - it is huge all of a sudden - no mistaking me for the pregnant lady I am but it is hurting a bit so I am happy to share.

KRM Glad you are feeling less pukey. Imagine not scheduling your baby in with your MIL better. What kind of DIL are you? daft old bat

Best go need to climb back on the eat/sleep merry go round.

Thanks Midget! I think we're all sorted on the name front - if it's a boy I think we're going for Nico. DP (and DS's) surname is Italian as well so it just sounds right with an Italian name. The other half of DP is Austrian so I think there'll be Austrian middle names, like DS! Hope your bump isn't too painful.

Nice names knotty. Dragged myself to pilates. Must eat/sleep to compensate.

FF hooray, welcome to the world little firefly,

HPBP have a lovely anniversary.

VQ We never do cards :(, bugger about the PnT I had the same with a loola, sold mine, it was immaculate, bought another (great for umbrella folding, front and rear facing and suitable from birth), it was hanging, had bits of food etc, sent it back against sellers wishes and go tmoney back through evil bay,

LRM/Midget,Im absolutely exhausted, but I just cant sleep :(.

KRM, have you considered a Multipla?? Excellent for lots of DCs but not as big as a people carrier, glad your boys are pleased, my MIL is not going to be happy, and apparently my mum told my sister I am getting fat .

Bytheseaside, the loola really is lovely, can be picked up for circ £100 and all the covers are removeable and go in wash,I loved mine when I had just the 1 small DC. you dont need the carry cot, its suitable form birth, bargain I paid nearly £300 for mine, they do a lovely pink.black one, that isnt too in your face girly, here its a lovely colour

I was going to sling it, or live with our Jane Powertwin, but the new pram (well second hand) force is strong in this one.

Thanks whatname I braved it and actually spent some time checking out prams and pushchairs online!!! Just a first step, and I still feel in over my head with the whole responsibility-for-a-baby thing, but I'll get there. I guess as long as I have a carseat and a sling when baby arrives, I'll be OK.

I'm discovering the downside of feeling the baby kicking is that when she's quiet for a while I freak out! Wake up baby!

knottyhair ah - buttercup!