Fantastic 40+ Mums To Be

[10000fireflies]

A lovely shiney new thread for us to keep chatting on.

ok today having one of those days where being pregnant is just like being ill. I am sweaty, sick, fatigued, have a headache that paracetamol doesn't get rid of, my face is like a mask, i can hardly stand up. i also have to go out with DP tonight to back him up for a fundraising opportunity for his company. Does anyone else have days when being pregnant just feels like being ill? i had these in my first PG so not unduly worried just hate it. the alien being is sucking the life out of me. it's doing something today that is really leaving its poor old host in a sorry state. sorry to moan. this is pure moan.

Blimey, it's been busy on here! Knicky, your results were definitely better than mine and I was clearly advised not to go for amnio as the risk of MC was higher than Downs risk. Somewhere, you poor thing! Hope you feel better soon. The first part of pregnancy is really hard work. I'm 25wks tomorrow and although I feel knackered and get aches & pains it's definitely preferable to how I felt earlier on. Hang on in there, it will pass. Midget & Seaside, hope you both get the support you need to make the right decision for you. I'm going for ELCS for lots of reasons and I just feel better having had it agreed and written down in black & white on my notes! The main reason is that I had a traumatic time when I had DS and he was born in the theatre and I was minutes away from having a section when they managed to get him out with forceps & ventouse, but he was very floppy and had to spend time in SCBU (now a noisy fidgety 8 year old!). However, they've now closed the majority of maternity services at my local hospital and only have a MW led unit there. If you need any assistance in giving birth, even just forceps, you have to be taken by ambulance to another hospital half an hour away and there's no way I'd take that chance after last time (don't think DS would be here if it had been that way last time). Anyhoo, sorry for rambling post! Hope everyone else is OK and enjoying the good weather!

Have yet to catch up, but just popping on to say hi, I am ok, and missed you! Feeling pretty rough and very busy as schools back and boot is off. Leg continues to be very painful, but I can drive thankfully. Bump is sore a lot, and I am shattered. 32 weeks now and getting nervous about delivery. Occasionally considering VBAC, but unlikely this would work or be allowed. Bloods all seem fine.

Will catch up properly when I have read through x

Well, reading through it is interesting that a few of us are unsure about ELCS. I think the fact that at our age they are unlikely to let us go past 40 weeks, and we are aware of the additional risks makes our situation that bit different to younger mums.

I had a section with DD2 and she was 10lb 3. The surgeon said it had been a wise decision as I would have had an EMCS almost definately. This one is a boy so likely to be bigger.

If I could have a guarantee that I would manage a natural birth then I would give it a try if I went into labour before my due date. This is an impossible ask for anyone, especially with my history. I cannot be induced due to previous section, and would not risk going overdue.

I am not looking forward to the wound and discomfort, but chances are I would end up with a worse deal with an EMCS. I was home sooner after the section than my first 'normal' birth. I am not looking forward to being away from my older two, but part of me is looking forward to having a couple of days of just me and my son.

I am now at the stage I remember last time saying to DH 'if I ever feel broody again, remind me of how I feel now'. Even before DD2 I was sure I would not have DC3 and it is very odd to be in this position again. I am delighted to be having another, but I do not do pregnancy or birth well.

hpbp interesting advice on the BF front. I have BF twice now so reluctant to change a way that works for me. Both kids had 20mls formula in hospital on the second night as things got pretty fraught.

quick hello to all - just popping by quickly with Babybay thread link for bytheseaside - here it is: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/1556059-Bedside-crib-anyone-got-one-Looking-for-a-good-deal-and-struggling

Hope you all had a nice sunny weekend - I did a 20km bike ride yesterday, and although it was on a tandem I still nearly lost the will to live in the last few kms home! Won't be doing that again in a hurry, although DP thinks I just need a more comfortable saddle...

Hello Valium - glad you are more mobile but sorry you are still getting pain

eagarlay 20k? Blimey, not bad for a pregnant bird. I hope the saddle was nicely padded.

VQ hurray - you are alive and well and bootless. I was nodding sagely reading your post - that is how I see it. I would like to go into labour naturally but this is highly unlikely unless he decided to come early so an ELCS tops the likely hood of an EMCS although I know neither options should be taken lightly. I told DH not to let me do this again - how easily we forget. I also don't do pregnancy and birth well but keep telling myself this time will be different [denial face].

Knotty I think I will also feel a lot better once it is all agreed - just focus on the reality then, not the 'what if's?' Knickyknocks thanks for your words - I think logically a ELCS does seem the best option - then I argue with myself about it for ages. I feel like I am a bit of a schizophrenic on this issue.

Somewhere Sorry you are feeling so shit - the first trimester can last for every - and it can really suck. Hopefully you will begin to feel less sick soon - it is a right bugger.

Right I best bugger off - must sleep.

thanks eagleray :)

i do not do pregnancy or birth well either!

thank you knotty and midget so much for your kind words. I feel a lot better now.

good discussion about birth options - far too far in the future for me to think about but hopefully i will return to it.

xxx

MS much better... with the exception that Mumsnet itself - the font, the colours, the white space, the whole reward of writing and being acknowledged, is suddenly making me feel a bit bilious.

ps forgot to say eagleray - your 20k is an inspiration to me.that's really impressive even if you weren't PG. I've been cycling a bit with swimming and wondering if i should stop. now i know.
xx

My Mum keeps saying 'ooh I didn't feel like that, have that problem etc' so I politely remind her that she was half my age.

Compared to my last pregnancy I am actually doing much better. DH recalls the details better than me, but at this stage I weighed two stone more, was crippled with PGP, had chest infection on chest infection on chest infection, had to sleep almost upright in order to breathe, and had constant indigestion that nothing would relieve.

My Maternal great grandmother had my gran at 47 years old apparently. She lived to 99.

midget I will feel better once the decision has been made next week. With DD2 I decided if I went into labour before the date, I would try for a VB, but that was before I knew she was so big. I am 99% sure that any labour signs and I just want a section. It is highly unlikely though, as my cervix is extremely reluctant to open at the best of times.

VQ glad to hear from you, hope the pain will ease soon, at least you can drive and no cast nor boot, take it easy
Knotty, I had an adjusted risk lower than yours 1/1694 and amnio was not suggested, I had it afterwards because of one soft marker during 20 week scan and it was all clear. anastasia was born at 39+2 at 49 cm long and 3.020 kg so just an average baby, she is now 6 weeks and thriving at 5kg.
Somewhere, MS will go, sooner or later
Eagle, 20k ! Waouh !
Have to go to pick up DS

hi VQ really glad you're doing better. Sorry about your leg. That is AMAZING about your gran and greatgran. I love hearing that kind of stuff.

Also that you're doing better than your last PG. On both counts you are providing me with inspo. My last PG was gruelling.

Hpbp glad your lovely little girl is thriving.

AFM the record is still broken. MS back. So much so that I had a great moment with skinned cucumber slices yesterday - what could be more refreshing? and today I am thinking - keep cucumber AWAY! Never again! Cucumber of all things.

knicky i had identical with Macdonalds - does it appeal because of its packaged, hygienic quality? the body knows its not a dangerous berry or plant, it's just the slow kind of poison the body doesn't recognise! i never eat maccy ds and boy it was delicious but it didn't stay down - actual puking has been rare for me but Macdonald's got me there.

xxx

Hello everyone!

Hpbp - hope DS is getting on ok at school and that you are feeling a little better. It must be hard being without DH at this stage.

eagleray - it did settle down again. I guess my worry is though that she is easily ?spooked? and that she might get ?distressed? again when I am induced, resulting in a massively speeded up labour/EMCS. I am trying to ?cuddle? her a lot (yes, the MW suggested that ? putting my arms around my tummy?) and massage her when her back sticks out hoping I can get her to just chill a bit! . And 20km bike ride? You join the ranks of MN legends I think?a 1km walk phases me these days?

Midget - not a date just yet. Very much empathise with your CS/big baby conundrum. Can?t make up your mind for you as am sure I would wrestle impossibly with a similar decision. There but for the?

I AM so nearly there! (that emoticon sums up how I?m feeling at the moment?). I will be given a date next week for my induction in week 37/38 (some time between Sept 24th ? 4th Oct, depending on baby?s size). Am very much hoping we can coax her to come into the world of her own accord. She?s mature and ready (6.6lbs and ?breathing? all the time with strong ?practice? lung function). Had a series of major BH this afternoon about 7 mins apart each and thought my time was up!! . Luckily they simmered down and LO is still Riverdancing away inside me ? swapping between left occipital anterior and right occipital anterior when she?s bored or I change positions! Spend half my day willing her back over onto the left any way I can figure out how. Think she might have even spun back to back now as my belly button has gone right in!

somewhere - glad to hear your similar experience was not to be repeated. I was a bit spooked by a fb friend who said ?Oh my son started doing that at about 34 weeks! ?approximately once a week so we were constantly hooked up until he arrived! . Wasn?t liking the sound of that! VERY glad to hear about your very normal scan! It?s so reassuring! :) Btw, I felt very ?ill? some days in my first trimester/early second. I?ve felt better in parts of my third tbh. I do empathise. Take it easy and don?t try to overdo it was my rule of thumb.

Knickyknocks - nice to see you. I had a ?low? risk nuchal result (1 in 1200 I think) but was still ?offered? an amnio. I got the impression that it is just protocol to make people aware it is an option if you want it. However, my scanning person (forget what they?re called) did say she didn?t see any need as that could be considered a ?low? risk result ? the same as for a 20 year old). I didn?t give it another thought tbh.

VQ - good to see you and very glad to hear the moon boot is finally off. On the subject of ELCS, I won?t get offered one here, even though with my current risks (GD, age, large baby) I?d be almost persuaded into one in the UK. They will only say that I could end up with EMCS but they are committed here to only moving to CS if it becomes completely medically necessary, rather than offering it as a choice. I?m quite glad the choice has been taken out of my hands really, although being that it?s my first, I expect I?d choose to give the induction/pushing a go anyway. Had to laugh at your mum?s comments. Mine has also been coming out with nuggets like (after I showed her my bump) ?Ooh. I never showed hardly at all when I was carrying you.? And when I mention symptoms/how I?m feeling ?Ooh, I felt really great all the way through my pregnancy ? I never had any of these things at all?. What makes it worse was that I was her first at 39 so I can?t even say she was half my age! I think it?s amazing how they actually just forget. Like the way I?m sure my MIL?s 3 didn?t all ?sleep all the way through the night from word go? (unless she was drugging them ).

bytheseaside - scan sounds great! The hands sounds more ?carpal tunnel-ish?. It?s not always pain ? often slight numbness and I get very clumsy with it. Puffy but not very swollen hands?

The GD?s going ok. My blood sugars are well controlled. A bit annoyed that despite that, baby is still 26% too big - although they admit it's almost impossible to measure her/umbilical flow as she doesn't stop moving/playing with the umbilical cord. We've decided she will be Norway's next tennis sensation! Anyway, had some great ante-natal sessions, mostly going through labour strategies for induction and I don?t feel too daunted. Just want her to wait until we have the Moses basket, the car seat and I?ve packed a hospital bag (note to self ? finger out the next few days!). Food craving wise, I?m just dreaming about orange juice and hoping I?m allowed it after giving birth. Otherwise getting used to my ?regime? and still hoping to hold the drugs off as my levels are steady now.

Hope everyone else is doing ok!

Evening all. NT Scan today (AddMark, Oscar..etc). Lovely to see the gyrating baby, with all bits present and correct and ONLY ONE IN THERE! Bloods and age (1:20 at 46, apparently...), however, combine to make it a bit dodgy, so although it's 1:500, they're going to do another bloodtest in a few weeks and see if that brings the stats up a bit. Still pretty good considering, I suppose.

gah, just did a message, but it got undone for some reason...
summary was - hope you are all doing ok and that MS subsides for those of you that are suffering.

DHfinally agreeing re. need for larger car, but is veering towards mega-huge, but seeing as it's only me that drives, and I'm just 5'2", I'd quite like a car I can actually see over the steering wheel.

AM doing extra hours at work, and have said I'll work till 38 weeks, which is a bit bonkers probably.

I havent' had any blood tests since booking in I think,so expect the next midwife visit to be full of needles - yuk.

Plan for this weekend is to clear out spare room of a million books and make it a bit more baby-ready! I am so nesting.

off to cheer for Andy Murray - hope everyone well. Kxx

Great scan news MrsWooster - how did they get the bloods back so soon? And was the nuchal measurement ok? I was borderline(ish) high risk (1:112) and although that is still considered 'good' for my age I still felt v stressed about it all. It sounds like overall you had a really good result though. Congrats on your result too Knicky

My bike ride felt like a bit of an achievement in terms of doing something 'normal', but it was pretty easy in terms of effort as it was on a tandem (always being accused of not putting in enough effort) but the seat was ever so painful and so it was really just about sitting in painful position for an hour or two. I just checked my diary and realised I did a 100km bike race 6 weeks before DD was conceived - ah well at least I can say I was fit even if the hospital say I am fat!

I am afraid I have had a bit of a poo incident, and having checked back through this thread, I have to say Midget that I think I trumped your poo incident back in August! Things ground to a halt in the days leading up to the weekend and I felt so bloated that I felt like I was going to split open, especially after eating. In desperation I took a couple of laxatives on Sat and then things started to happen. And then it just would not stop. Today at work I had to keep rushing to the loo and (oh god not sure I can even bring myself to say this) it still wouldn't stop and somehow the sheer volume managed to block the loo and nearly cause it to flood and then I had to discretely leg it and in the afternoon the loo was still out of order! I am nearly dying of shame although I think the baby is happy as she has a bit more room to move around now

Fjord - amazing you are so very nearly there, and fantastic that you have a fully-cooked baby! But who is due first - you or LRM?

It's very interesting reading the discussions about birth choices amongst those how have been there already. I think the most bothersome thing for me (at the moment!) is the prospect of being induced after 40 weeks, although I guess if that's all I have to worry about by that point I will be very lucky. Think I will start researching local hypnobirthing classes so that I feel like I am doing something positive even if it does go tits-up on the day...

great news MrsWooster. Have you previously had multiples?

eagleray wow what an amazing poo story. i was a bit shocked by poo stories on mumsnet when i first started coming on here but now I am inured.

I am going for the same ultimate goal - fat - but fit. it's the best i can do i'm afraid (nachos in the oven at 10am).

my nuchal is a week on friday. the days are dragging like crazy.

xxx

Just a quick hello, as I'm really supposed to be working / packing - there's SO MUCH TO DO!!!!
Fjord I love the idea of hugging your bump to reassure a spooked baby -that's by far the sweetest thing I've heard all week. And yes, my hands are doing the same thing as yours - means we're having to get extra help packing all our fragile stuff so I don't break everything ...
I ordered some very cute bro-bags in the sale from greenbaby that arrived today - I wasn't going to get any, but was very tempted - they just arrived :)
eagleray that was very funny - not for you of course ...
Mrs Wooster that sounds like a pretty good adjusted risk in the circs - are you pleased?
Thinking of everyone else too. Glad to see you back VQ I ordered some very cute but non-pastel gro-bags from greenbaby that arrived today - I wasn't going to get any, but was very tempted as they were very reduced - they just arrived :) Anyone fancy coming over to clear out our dusty-box-filled and ivy-overgrown shed?? no? me neither ...

eagleray got to say that cycle ride is fabulously impressive....and poor you with the blockage (both at work and your digestive system). We have communal loos here which are in constant use. There's no way I could have got away with a similar situation, but glad to see you weren't sussed! With my recent MS, trying to vomit at work has been almost impossible for me without a well meaning colleague asking me if I was alright in there. Oh the joys of working.....
mrswooster lovely news about the scan and results.
fjordmor you're nearly at the finish line! And it sounds as if baby will be ready to make they're grand entrance too. Gosh I can't wait to get to the finish line too. Long way to go for me yet though.
somewhere how's the MS today? mine's starting to calm down, but still left with low lying nausea but have hope that at 13 + 2 it's on it's way out. I'll cross fingers that yours does too aswell.
bytheseaside your offer of clearing the shed isn't hugely tempting, I've got to say that sounds like one of the jobs that usually has me massively procrastinating and watching more interesting things on tv first (this usually encompasses watching repeats of any property or cookery programme.....)

AFM, am doing OK. Still have some low lying nausea, but not vomited for a week or so, so must be getting better. Have just sat at my desk doing my new favourite pastime, calculating my maternity leave and pay and how long I'll be able to take off work. I'm hoping that this time I can have nearly a year. I'll be in no rush to return, though financially needs must.

knicky it's the worst day yet. i am worrying i will be sick in public. just went swimming and thought i might puke in the pool.

in a way i'm happy about this as when it did get better for a couple of days i was worrying.

i cannot believe you have gone to work with actual vomiting. there should be a law against this. it's inhumane. you must be super-tough.

but i'm extremely lucky to be a freelancer working from home. i want to have the most massive moan about being a 40+ mum in your first trimester (it sucks, it's the most awful confluence of physical and mental stress) but it feels like tempting providence so maybe i'm channeling it through my MS moans instead.

The flipside of MS is this fascination with food. I feel like a chef when PG - i'm sure i taste sutble layers of flavours i can't taste normally. I get ideas about food, about throwing things together. That is actually lovely - it must be how Jamie Oliver feels all the time - like a pregnant woman.

and fjord could i add yes that is gorgeous - hugging the baby while in your tummy.

eagleray or should i have said manured

xxxxx

Oh somewhere you poor thing. It's so bloody awful isn't it. When I mentioned to hubby recently that I didn't think a bloke would put himself through this, he said they would, only they would take sick leave from conception through to labour . And no.... I'm certainly not super tough. I was signed off from 8 to 10 weeks with sickness which was a godsend. There was no way that I could have ventured into work. Since being back, I've thankfully felt a little better. As for your analogy about Jamie Oliver that made me giggle. Really hope you turn a corner soon. When's your 12 week scan?

thanks for sympathy knicky much appreciated.
relieved to hear you took 2 weeks off - this is going to arm me in conversations with my DP about why i'm not exaggerating how rough i feel.
i am hoping it will get better soon.
12 weeks scan is actually 11week 1 day scan and it's friday week so really not long. anyway that's eating me up - let's go back to morning sickness!
and jamie oliver - he does look like he's about 3 or 4 months along doesn't he. he's definitely got a pregnant glow about him.
xxx

but also really pleased you're feeling better!

Hurrah - the poo incident seems to be over now (was still sh*tting like a cow in a field this morning but thankfully nothing since)

I am parked up on the sofa after getting home from work and have just been watching my stomach move, for the first time!!! Quite exciting, although I am not sure if she has hiccups or is trying to punch her way out.

Totally agree on the cuteness of Fjord's baby - is the hugging working?

Somewhere - hope you start to feel better soon. I only had relatively mild MS , but I am still rejoicing in feeling fairly 'normal' after those hideous first few weeks. And I am probably still a little bit food obsessed - get quite upset at lunchtime if I can't have whatever it is I've been fantasizing about all morning!

Eagerlay for you re pooh incident. although also jealous as I almost would kill to get rid of pooh in such a prolific way. I also get a bit upset if I can't have what I fancy - I have reverted to toddlerdom. I quite like it.

Somewhere it really does feel like the first trimester drags on for ever - hope your MS passes soon as it is so difficult not to just stay in bed with a bucket. Knicky is right - a man would probably go off sick - and a woman should too if things get too bad. Go get a Drs note and stay in bed lady.

bytheseaside I am on the way to help, ooh sorry that's the phone ringing, I best be off....

KRM I am also working late (39 weeks) now thinking this is insane and may revisit it. I think 38 is the latest I can face. I just can't be arsed anymore.

LRM you have gone quiet - how are you? It can't be long now can it?

Fjord I have been kind of baby hugging too - I just thought I was odd but if a midwife endorses it then its good enough for me. Your little lady sounds a real live wire. Mine is crazy sometimes but then really really quiet other times - he likes to mess with my mind. Of course if I mention it to HCP's he does the bloody macarena. I think this is also a taste of things to come. Again I doff my cap to your approach to your GD, take it from me - you are doing brilliantly.

Right best go do some work - big love to you all.