Fantastic 40+ Mums To Be

[10000fireflies]

A lovely shiney new thread for us to keep chatting on.

HP you must stay - we would miss you. How you feeling?

HP - congradulations, baby Anastasia is a lovely name. So glad to hear all went well and you must stay on this thread so you can support us all.

Firstbubba - Welcome back good to hear from ya. I am 31 weeks, also 43 and its my first also. Hope you are well and dandy

Midget- I was defo going to have a ELCS but change my mind, but you never know whats going to happen on the day. I had a dream the other night that I put a massive tub of vaseline up my muff and the baby just slipped out !!! I will go in the hospital with a sign hanging on my neck saying drugs and will except any trials as well. Nervous about the pain but hello epidural thats all I can say, but whos to say how the day will pan out!!!! What ever you decide you will still end up with a lovely little baby honey.

Valium - Hahahaha you made me laugh Starfish so funny!! Partner says he will laugh at all rude bodily functions so he should be happy for the birth.

I had a very pregnant day today, went shopping and kept having to slow down walking every 10 mintues. It felt like baby was stood up and pushing down like crazy I have had it before but not as much, god help me on my feet next week at work. Any ideas ladies what it is ?

Trying to post on my phone with super-carpal tunnelly hands but just wanted to to say Hpbp massive congrats & a big hug . Anastasia is a beautiful name. I hope you're feeling ok. More later all if I can manage xx

Hpbp congratulations!! So pleased for you that your beautiful little girl has safely arrived.

Fjord sorry you are going through hell with the DSDs. I don't have direct experience of such things myself, but my friend went through similar. Her partner's DDs were in their teens and there seemed to be a lot of guilt projected onto them by their parents (presumably for splitting up and unsettling their lives a little). The result was that they fed off this guilt/tiptoeing around them and were complete and utter monsters! They were vile to my friend and behaved in a generally juvenile way in order to get their dad's attention. To me, it didn't seem so much the domestic situation which was causing the issues, as the parents' response to it, somehow giving the girls the feeling that they were terribly hard done by and that the world owed them something. Not sure if that helps you at all, but hope you realise there are a lot of poor women out there suffering the awful behaviour of stepchildren!

I have spent most of the day lying on my bed after the amnio this morning. Don't think bedrest is entirely necessary as feel ok, but it's actually been nice to spend a day curled up doing nothing. Was still unsure what to do when we got to the hospital this morning, but the consultant (different one to last time) was someone we warmed to and trusted, and that made all the difference. He was direct but reassuring and somehow made us feel a bit more confident that we were doing the right thing than the previous doctor did. It didn't hurt much at all - the most uncomfortable bit was being doused with freezing cold cleaning fluid stuff before they stuck the needle in. They are going to do their best to get the first results back tomorrow, although nothing is guaranteed.

DP has been off work looking after me, although that has mostly involved him lying on the sofa watching the tv. He's quite a 'stressy' person and started shouting at me last night for not going up to visit my dad earlier. I felt terrible but it has been so difficult to know what to do. It turns out that in the last few days he has deteriorated a lot and may not even be conscious when we get to the hospital tomorrow night. Sadly, there are no longer plans even to get him home for the final weeks as he is just too ill now.

So tomorrow, I am off for my regular consultant's appt at the local hospital where they will hopefully check the baby is ok, then straight back into the car for the 7 hour journey north. Utterly dreading it, but the regret from not going would be so much worse.

By the way, got a few measurements from the scan today and whilst the head and abdominal circumferences are slightly above average, the femur length is small (I think around the 20th percentile). I was slightly puzzled by this, but DP laughed and said it described him perfectly - large head, large stomach and short femurs (he is tall, but has v long body and shortish legs). I will check with the doc tomorrow when I'm at the hospital, but is it possibly for a baby to start looking like one of its parents so early on? God, I hate the way the smallest deviations from average become a worry...

Oh, and hi and welcome Swan - we are similar gestation and age (I'm 40 and 16 weeks) and I have been 'warned' about the induction thing at 40 weeks, although no mention of caesarian (which does sound odd to have forced upon you). I think the induction policy does vary from one hospital to another, but I don't know much more than that. Am going to start researching though as can't imagine the baby being early...

Glad you are taking it easy Eagle. Good luck for tomorrow, for the results, for the visit and for that bloody Long journey. Take care.

Eagleray, good luck for the long journey, my thoughts are with you and your Dad. Hope you will also get the first results re amnio quickly too. Take care.
My little girl had short femur too at the 20week scan, went through amnio and growth scans. All was good and on the latest scan at 34 weeks, her femur was still under the third centile although growth was consistent. She was 49 cm long when I gave birth last Sunday and is perfectly healthy according to all the usual normal tests carried out on babies (APGAR tests). Don't worry.

Back to bed before DC wake up now... Week end will be here soon !

Hpbp that is encouraging about your little girls femur being short and her being fine. Femur length is a soft indicator, but just an indicator. Thinking of you eagerlay hoping you soon get peace of mind about the results and also your father. You did not know he was going to deteriorate, you made the best decision you could at the time with the information available to you. Even if he is unconscious when you get there, at least you will have a chance to say what you need to say, and he will be aware of your presence, even though he may not be able to respond.

My brother was far from encouraging about abnormalities as I have had no bloods or fold measurements done. There are no soft indicators either, but that does not mean there isn't a problem. My husband and I decided that even if there was an incompatible with life condition we would still not act on it, and let nature take its course. It is different for everyone though, and I am pro choice. Do come and tell us your results eagerlay as we are all thinking of you. Hopefully everything is clear, but if not please do not feel you are alone. I do not envy you with the long journey. Plenty of stops at service stations, and chocolate.

Hi just popping on here. I'm aged 40 and 4+1 so very early. but neurosing away like crazy and thought this might be a good place to do it.
Hello all.
I know some of you from the fantastic 40 ttc thread possibly
x

Hello again,

So sorry for the intermittent postings - I've been feeling fairly wretched with nausea and vomiting, so really haven't felt like doing too much.

somewhere just lovely to see you on here. I'm crossing that you stay on this thread till your 40 weeks.

eagle what a rough time you've had. I know how hard it is to see a parent terribly unwell. It really is a very anxious time. You're doing the right thing by making that long journey. It will be worth it. As for the amnio, I'm so glad to hear things went smoothly and that although it may well be the bedrest isn't necessary, I think it is well deserved. It's not often that we get time in our lives to take a breather. I really do hope that you have good news from the testing.

As for me, am now 8 weeks. First midwife appointment in 2 weeks, 12 week scan in 4 weeks. All feels a bit more scary this time round because of my increased age, but hope that things are all as they should be. Certainly if the nausea and vomiting are anything to go by, things feel OK. Off to the in laws this weekend for a bit of R and R. My DD adores her Nanny, so hoping for a bit of downtime whilst I take it easy on a sofa (probably eating cream crackers or salt and vinegar crisps.......my food of choice at present).

yes i'm a bit early but i want to moan - and feel bad saying 'pregnancy is so awful' on the ttc thread.
i'm going to lurk though i find that hard - i always want to post.
your nausea and vomiting fills me with hope for you. and dread for myself. I am already feeling a bit sicky.
do you think one can take time off work? its so hard cause you can't really say why unless you want to drag people through the potential drama of it not sticking.

good luck with your scan knicky

oh god those carbs are calling me

somewhere The support from the TTC 40 plus ladies on has been amazing, but I certainly don't want to pour any salt into wounds by banging on about how dreadful I'm feeling. I'm incredibly lucky to get a BFP, but was terribly ill with DD, and I'm dreading the next few weeks. Have been sick only a few times, but the nausea at times has been really rotten. On the other hand, it gives great comfort that things are going OK. Very topsy-turvy. Re: taking time off work. Was off sick yesterday and took a day off last week. I ploughed on regardless when pregnant with DD 3 years ago, and remember being on all fours, in the ladies toilet, being violently sick. I will NOT be doing that again. My love for this particular job has gone, and feel that me and beany are far more important. It's helped by my GP saying he'll be happy to sign me off if I start feeling terrible again.

PS Have already piled on 2.5 pounds at 8 weeks. Eating little and often (and nearly always carbs) is a complete diet breaker. Though admittedly last time, lost half a stone within 2 weeks with DD so it's different this time.

that's good to hear knicky i'm a freelancer so get no sick pay. i'm also a bad sufferer from presenteeism - always have been. but actually i think if i'm feeling bad enough i will stop work - just until i am feeling better and able to tell people i'm PG. I am breadwinner but DP will just have to pick up the slack.

it's only two months.

i'm trying to keep low-carbing - apparently as long as you don't go into ketosis (which i have no desire to do) it's fine. i have eaten nothing but eggs and spinach since this AM, albeit quite a lot of it. gonna have salmon and spinach for lunch and then berries and greek yog for pudding (so a bit of carb there).

Hello

Thank you for all your kind messages of support.

Where to start.... First, got a phone call at 6pm from hosp - got the preliminary all-clear from the tests, which is a great relief.

At around the same time, we reached the hospital where dad is. Thankfully, they have adjusted his morphine dose so that he is much more awake. He is still sleeping most of the time, but has clarity when he's awake, which is good. I told him about the baby and he was very surprised but very pleased. The nurse did a photocopy of my scan pic and I folded it so that the baby can watch over him from his bedside and he can see the pic even when he's lying down.

Resting in hotel now, and will go back for another visit tomorrow.

Oh, and had regular consultant appt this morning too, this time I had an audience of student/trainee docs (not entirely sure what they were, but their keenness and note-taking was quite sweet). They checked baby's heartbeat, which was fine, and I also raised the femur length question. The Doc laughed and said he was cursed with short legs too.

Sorry for self-centred update - getting to grips with new iPad (finally felt I could justify splashing out this week). Hope you all have a lovely weekend

eagerlay good to hear your preliminarys are clear, and also that you have seen your Dad.

Waves to newbies, sorr in a hurry, but had to say hi to eagerlay and her swanky new iPad. What cover have you got? I have a Cath Kidston one my DH bought me

Oh valium I love the way you have spelt my name! Have to confess, I have not been an eager lay since that fateful night 4 months ago under the palm trees (and dp constantly reminds me of this as he feels he has been conned!). Oh, it's good to laugh after crying so much this week.

the cover is a plain black Griffin one, hastily bought at same time as iPad purchase, in order to protect it immediately. Generally veer towards nice patterns/colours, but been wary since I bought an orla kiely cover for my iPhone and it made it malfunction!

I hope the foot/ankle is getting a wee bit better?

Oops! completely unintentional , but I am glad it made you laugh odd about your phone cover? My foot is getting there, but I am so upset that DD1 is having such dull holidays, and she goes back in another 2 weeks. I am finding bump is quite debilitating too.

hey all
feeling sick! only on 4+3 but feeling sick already.
although am getting over the shock of the BFP and remembering the stats so steeled to drop out.

eagerlay I know that's not your real nickname but it's going to have to stick around.
i like the story about the palm trees.
I'm sorry about your dad

xx

Hpbp congratulations on your beautifully named beautiful daughter.

Sorry but can't do many more personals at the moment. I am exhausted. The pregnancy, renovations and school holidays are taking their toll on me.
I also went through a few stressful days when I stepped in shit and walked it through the hallway. In a rush to clean up because I didn't want the dcs to step in it, I cleaned up without gloves and am stressing about toxoplasmosis! Hopefully its just paranoia but I can't believe I was so stupid. Im sure it was fox droppings. Bleurgh it was disgusting.

Hope your all having a good weekend. Im waiting for dh to come back with a take away and am going to lie on the sofa and watch a film.

Exexe, I am sure you have not contracted toxoplasmosis but if you stress about it, it is just better to have a blood test to put your mind at rest. Try to rest, sweet.
Welcome Somewhere
ValiumQueen, the new NN for Eagle thing made me laugh, sorry Eagleray ! :) don't worry, DD1 will have forgotten soon about her hols, you just can't be on top of everything with your bump and ankle and chicken pox, I find it exhausting to deal with 10 million things at the same time, and then I realise that I am the one to put the pressure on myself and nobody else, What I am trying to say is you are a human being with only 24 hours a day and 2 hands so there are things you will have to let go :)
Knicky, hope you will find soon a way to keep nausea at bay
Fjord, LRM, I am feeling good, actually much less tired than with DS1, strangely enough. I think it is because I have learned to let things go and say yes yes yes to every one's advice without doing what they say, hum hum !!! very naughty of me !

I feel serene. The birth was smooth a part from the contraction bit that lasted 8 hours before I had epidural. I managed to push Anastasia out with the technique I learnt with my MW and completely opposite to the consultant's. And I did insist for the skin to skin to last a bit more than what they wanted to give me... In France it is still not very usual to do so ! I am convinced that Anastasia is also relaxed thanks to this prolonged contact.

I have decided to BF exclusively this time (my Mum is totally against it, she belongs to a generation when formula milk was a revolution, freedom...and DH would just give a bottle so that baby does not cry...) So I have help from a MW at home, she is a specialist in BFing. Anastasia is one week today and she has gained back her birth weight, milk is coming up gently as well, so I feel confident that it is going to work. It must sound strange for you all to hear that but again in France there is no real support on BFing, it is not as developped as in the UK. I struggled a lot with DS1 and eventually did mixte feeding until he was 10 months. Making BFing work is - amongst other things - a matter of building back my self confidence (that I kind of lost with the redundancy stuff in the 2nd trimester).

Time for me to go. Will be back soon. Take care every one

Exexe I am with HP I am sure the chances of you catching toxi in this way are slim but go to the GP and get checked if you are worried. They can at least explain the risk level and do a test if they think necessary.

HP You really do sound very calm at the moment - I do hope that is how I am too. I feel relaxed now about it all, in fact I can't wait to have a little baby. apart from the labour element. I was good at ignoring advice the first time so I will be positively bullish the second time round I hope! How is the BF coming on? DD was exclusively BF and it was hard going at first but DH and I split everything else. So I fed and he changed nappies - it worked out well. How long do you DH around for? Good to see you are beinging to get yourself back after all your work hassle. As you know, I had the exact same thing and it can leave a cloud but it is one that passes once you have more important things to restore your faith in yourself and other people

Eaglelay That is your new name now - nothing else will do! How are you recovering from your visit and the amnio?

somewherebecomingrain Hope the nausea isn't too bad. I kind of took some weird comfort from it - like the force was strong to feel that bad. Stats are just stats and look at all of us old birds cooking babies. If I can get to 28 weeks then anyone can (this is my ninth pregnancy or maybe my tenth - I lose count but if there is hope for me then there is hope for anyone).

VQ again HP is right - feeling guilty won't help anyone, DD won't remember it and if she is anything like my DD then watching telly counts as riveting entertainment most of the time Glad your foot is starting to get better.

knicky Quite right - put yourself first and screw work - you can make up for it once the nausea passes.

I am still caught up in Olympic madness but VQ you will be pleased to hear I have actually pulled my finger out and got back some baby stuff so this poor little man will have at least a bed and a car seat when he arrives. I am also having a really strong nesting urge. DH thinks we have all the time in the world but I just want to be prepared - this is most unlike me. I am a bit possessed with cleaning (even the skirting boards - weirdo) and storage solutions. I may need sedating at this rate.

LRM still chuckling at you having a tub of Vaseline up your fanjo. Maybe this is a tactic we should all try. Are you still on holiday? lucky cow

Right best go do some work and look at paint samples. Waves at you all and where is that Fjord?

Thank you for your kind words ladies.

Hpbp you sound fab! Glad you are being persistent about bfing. Sounds as if you are doing really well. My MIL is also very anti bfing, but DH is very supportive of it.

Thank you for reassurance ladies. GP said it wont be a problem. I'm hoping its so.

I'm getting annoyed trying to get some Olympic tickets. I've tried so many times right from the 1st ballott and have had no luck. My commute is v depressing watching people head off to the Olympic village when I change at stratford :(

Hpbp well done for ebfing. I did that with both of mine. I'll see how I go this time but I'm worried about lack of sleep. Both of mine used to get up every 2-3 hrs and ds1 used to feed for an hour at a time! I don't think I can do that this time so may do 1 ff at night that dh can do.

Is anyone elses baby really active? Mine is way more active than my other dcs. My tops are always moving and fluttering where baby keeps kicking. I'm finding it very strange but nice.

exexe I think it is because our muscles are gone to pot so there is less resistance there. Mine is far more visible than the other two were.

Lol and there's me thinking I have a future athlete in there

Evening all, Eager Lay here

Got home last night from the epic trip and could barely make it up the stairs to bed, but then felt ok this morning. Managed to last at work til 2pm, then felt so sick and tired I thought I was going to die so made my excuses and came home. Just woken up after a few hours' sleep feeling a little bit better! I think this is the first time so far that I have actually needed to sleep during the day - hope it's not a daily occurrence just yet...

The events of the last few days feel like a bad dream now, although I will have to go up there again at some point.

On my way back home yesterday, I told my mum and sister my news (my sister by phone, and then popped in to see my mum as it wasn't too much of a detour on our long journey home). The reaction from both was of incredulity - "you're having a what?", "a baby?", "who's having a baby?", "you?", "NOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Both are really pleased though, and mum is now getting the knitting/crochet needles out. She also reminded me what a 'good' baby I was - slept for 12 hours at night straight from birth and was happy to be left in the garden in all weathers (I think that's what you had to do with babies in the 70s). Let's see if I get one of those...

Exexe - glad you got some reassurance over the toxoplasmosis - I get freaked out just seeing cat poo in my back garden. Hope you get some tickets , I have been making do with watching it on the tv/computer and trying not to feel too envious when I see how many friends have actually been to events (I have had a shocking lack of interest in doing anything these last few months!)