good things about having a newborn baby?

[SimplySoo]

Can someone who's had a baby please tellme about the positives of having a newborn baby?

This will be our first and very much wanted. It might seem an odd thing to ask, but i've been reading a few threads here, and one of my baby books, and the NHS booklets, and listening to people I know in real life - I am worrying now about the sleepless nights, feeding every few hours, changing nappies, sore boobs, arguments with partner, being skint, recovery from giving birth... everything I read seems to focus on the negative and 'managing expectations', but surely there are good things too, even while they're too young to talk and walk?!

yy AThing.

I found the newborn stage with DD1 horrific- yet if anyone had offered to take her away, I would have said no. That's the good stuff that nobody can really describe. The stuff that makes you not throw them out of the bedroom window at 3 in the morning.

No longer being pregnant is fantastic (36 weeks & counting)

The rest? Soft, teeny tiny, starfish fingers, the smell of their hair and skin. The noises too - grunts, snuffles, sneezes, snorts, even farts.

My DD used to suck her top lip. It was so cute.

The cuddles are heavenly although that can continue if you are lucky and get a cuddly toddler!

I asked DH, and he said they make you appreciate the little things in life, like sleep. That's all he could bring to the table.

Oh, and the fact he can contribute to The Baby Bag...an ingenious part of his work's Zombie Plan. Dont ask

Young babies are absolutely hilarious. DD looked like she was constantly battling internal demons, or possibly hosting international conferences in her mind - the involuntary expressions on her face had us both in tears of laughter every day.

Yawns - god, yes, when they yawn they really look like little people with personalities.

Even lazy-arse me enjoyed being 'forced' to go out for a walk most days, compared to sitting in an office, pottering around town with the pram is lovely.

Nothing, nothing beats them snuggling up against you and, as the weeks go by, the first time they vaguely look at you, or respond to your voice, or smile, or laugh.

But I do think that all the information goes on about the negatives because a lot of things can be very, very difficult (sorry, don't want to be negative) - just recovering from the pregnancy and birth while figuring out how to not kill this little person you are apparently now responsible for, without actually getting any sleep, is a bit of a challenge...

... but then your little one falls asleep with their head in the crook of your neck and it is all worth it.

Also, never forget, that if someone talks with pleasure about how easy something is, it can be taken as Smuggery. Often, hearing someone is finding it hard is easier to handle. And those who are finding it easy etc may even play down that and focus on the negative so as not to appear smug.

It is a shame.

What a lovely thread. Just what I need as well as I'm 39+2 and feeling very nervous

You can take them anywhere and they don't complain. Also babies can make a lot of peoples day a bit brighter. People stop to take a look, have a bit of a chat, ask their name etc - its nice, like being part of a bigger picture. Oh and definitely I found the first few weeks with a newborn a lot less difficult than the last 4 weeks of pregnancy.

Yes, you risk your stitches, but putting your socks on becomes possible again

Agree with AThing. My post about not assuming you'll feel any particular way was meant to be a gentle (hopefully non-negative) warning!

Having said that, I'm expecting DS2 in 9 weeks and am actively looking forward to having a newborn again. This time I'm much more relaxed because I roughly know what to expect (uterine crap in his hair, a certain jaundiced complexion, a mewling cry). The control freak part of me (a big part TBH) is soothed by this and so I think I'll enjoy the second round much more than the first one. Not that the first round was actively terible, it was just a very big adjustment.

Lying on the bed, listening to the Radio 4 Comedy at 6:30pm, as you breast feed your baby, giving the little one a cuddle. I loved that contented happy feeling.

When they grow up you still get to listen to Radio 4 comedy.

Aw this thread has cheered me up, DS is 1 and totally awesome and sometimes I seem to be wishing DC2's life away, as I'm enjoying this stage so much, good to be reminded newborns have their good points too.

I do think that a lot of the perceived negativity is just people getting you to manage expectations, I have friends who have had some very hard times with colic, reflux, feeding issues or PND, the pressure to feel like they're experiencing the 'best thing ever' whilst they are at the end of their tether can be a bit much.

DS was probably a medium baby on the hardness scale, but getting feeding started was pretty tough. My overwhelming memory is thinking about how I'd have been so much better at looking after him if I wasn't so exhausted from giving birth to him! That and the lovely hours smuggled on the sofa with him sleeping on my chest.

Newborns are beautiful, but your own will be so squishy and delicious that you will just want to eat him

You are going about this the right way, op. Have low expectations and you will see it's not as bad as you thought and in fact the positives outweigh the negatives to the point where you would do anything for your LO and not see it as a chore. DH just asked me what I was writing and said I should add that your boobs get really big. Make of that what you will.

Athinginyourlife

I don't think my post was intended to make anyone feel bad, particularly since I have no experience of it yet.

But in my oh so limited experience, the mothers I have met - pretty much ALL of them really talk up how awful it's going to be. And I can't believe that all of those mothers - friends, family and work people - had an bad time. Hard work is different to bad, and I do think there is an over-emphasis on the negativity of being a new mother, which I simply think is wrong.

Maybe I am feeling sensitive, but I feel like your post was unnecessarily snarky. I am very sensitive to the potential of some women finding it difficult due to a variety of things - from problems with the baby, lack of confidence, or potential PND. I myself battle with anxiety that I won't "take to motherhood" which stems from a basic lack of confidence, and worrying that as I am due in October and I get particularly down in winter, I am facing a long, dark winter of low level depression. I have my own deep-seated worries - so why would I want to give too much credence to women who aren't talking about actually having a bad time and how they dealt with it, but rather - gleefully discussing how difficult I am going to find it because "ohhh, you just don't have a clue yet, you have NO idea!!!' You know the difference I am talking about here - we all do, we all must have come across people like that?

My post was simply intended to say - I have no experience, and I have my own worries, but I also have faith that nature will (hopefully) take its course and that the other feelings, the ones discussed in this thread, will see me through and make it all worthwhile. So I metaphorically stick my fingers in my ears when I hear what I perceive to be masochistic martyrdom from hearing mothers talk who didn't suffer in the ways we're both talking about, but rather just had hard work to get through - and I can distinguish between the two! It's pointlessly negative, and there is a huge difference between managing one's expectations and getting an unnecessary fear of something that should also be one of the most wonderful things in the world.

This thread is making me clucky - for me the best things were the feeling of a baby snuggled up in your arms, first smile, laugh, the divine smell. So gorgeous. My babies were beautiful (and still are). Breastfeeding can be wonderful - it certainly has been for me. There is something incredibly special about a newborn even if they are colicky or bad sleepers. Enjoy yours.

betty - I had PND, my DD had colic, and would never let me put her down. She has never been a great sleeper. It WAS hard, but I got through all that because I fell in love the second I held her in my arms for the first time.
We all get through it, because people are stronger than they think they are, and with children, everything you put in you get back. My DD now gives me kisses and cuddles and reaches out for me, she has her own little sense of humour and we have so much fun together. It's all so worth it :)

Parenting is the most wonderful thing in the world, it's also the hardest. I think it's perfectly balanced.

It is JOLLY hard work.
Re lack of sleep, worry are they still breathing etc (get a breathing monitor...), endless endless feeding. None of ths lasts very long though. A few months at most.

BUT

it is the most worthwhile thing in the world. You have made another human being, entirely unique and special - there will never be another quite like him/her.

The newborn smell, the milk drunk eye roll, the tiny person sleeping in your lap/on your shoulder, the utter utter love you feel, like nothing you have ever felt before. It flies by very very quickly. I look at mine now and wonder if they were ever babies and have to go look at photo albums ENJOY it, it goes very fast.

Beware tho, from now on your heart walks around outside your body

Ok so I know I was lucky but I can only think of positives from having a newborn probably setting myself up for a restless baby with colic for being so smug but they do get really tiring and are a bit unresponsive as first. Just when you think it's all a bit much they start getting more interesting and smile and coo and melt your heart all over again. For me it was like falling in love, except without the bit where you keep checking your phone all the time to see if they've rung as babies don't have phones.

Babies are brilliant. They are cute and like puppies you just want to hug them and hold them all day. There are much more good bits to having a newborn than bad. (got a 6 week old right now and dont want her to grow up quick as this bit is the best)

Swissarmylife completely agree, and completely appreciate and sensitive that it is like that for some people - and may well be like that for me too :)

I just resent the implication that me focusing on the positive, even though I have no experience of motherhood yet, somehow is designed to make other people feel bad. There's no need for it.

My post wasn't intended to negate other people's experiences or undermine just how bad some people found it. It was only intended to show appreciation for how wonderful it could also be. Just like everyone else in this thread.

There are a lot of women who do gleefully - and I use that word again because that's how it has come across - discuss motherhood like it is the hardest, worst thing in the world. There is one woman in my office who takes positive delight in removing the hopeful, positive smile from my face as she says - you've no idea, we'll see how happy you are at 3am in the morning! Those are the kind of people I described as martyrs. Why - what is the point of saying those things, of being like that? Why not support each other, smile and say - oh yes, it's hard work but it's so worth it?

I will add if your baby is due soon its the best. I have spent the last week sunbathing and leisurely wandering around in the sun. Enjoy it

I loved dressing them in nice fitting, clean smelling, comfy suits.

Having long walks with them all tucked up nice and tight with a blanket.

I also loved the achievement of getting them into a loose routine and managing to actually get things done whilst they were sleeping.

Bathing them followed by some nappy off time on a fluffy towel.

(it was like getting to play with my dolly all over again )

They sleep a lot. Ds barely woke up for the first month apart from to feed.

If you get one like this, make sure you sleep a lot too, to build up your reserves for weeks 5-8.

After that it gets better.

Agree with Bunty that I'm sleeping better than in the last days of pregnancy!

When she's asleep in bed next to me (as she is right now) or wide awake in the mornings and looking all alert and interested in the world.

When her dad gets in from work and gives her a big cuddle as he's been away from her all day.

Strangers coming up and cooing over her even when she's screaming blue murder.

The feeling of calm and contentment I get when she's feeding well - hard won in my case as my feeding is a bit hit & miss, but when it works well it's great.

The lovely lush soft hair at the back of her neck. Waiting to see if it's going to be curly.

Betty the issue was I think not you focusing on the positives it was calling women who find newborns hard work masochistic martyrs, which you just did again.