good things about having a newborn baby?

[SimplySoo]

Can someone who's had a baby please tellme about the positives of having a newborn baby?

This will be our first and very much wanted. It might seem an odd thing to ask, but i've been reading a few threads here, and one of my baby books, and the NHS booklets, and listening to people I know in real life - I am worrying now about the sleepless nights, feeding every few hours, changing nappies, sore boobs, arguments with partner, being skint, recovery from giving birth... everything I read seems to focus on the negative and 'managing expectations', but surely there are good things too, even while they're too young to talk and walk?!

Mine is 9 weeks. She is lovely and I'm really enjoying spending time with her. She's already getting bigger so I miss the tiny baby we had four weeks ago,while enjoying her new abilities and activity.

Random people make small talk and, instead of finding it trying I think 'yes, I do have a lovely baby'.

I was thinking about the dolls given to teenagers to put them off, waking, needing feeding - all rubbish because there's no loveliness, which makes it, while hard, worthwhile.

It's just an incredible feeling, I thought I wouldn't enjoy the newborn phase, but I'm loving it! Loving it so much in fact that I'm already thinking of having a second

It's just amazing. Maybe people will disagree with me but I honestly don't think any of the sleepless nights / changing nappies matters... I was so excited to have a baby that none of it fazes you... Having a newborn, going to people's houses and having them visit you, getting cards... It all feels so special and fantastic :)

I'm jealous

It's the bit you can't describe which makes putting up with all the other shit totally worth it.

Just a note to say that the 'automatic love' feeling isn't necessarily automatic. I didn't have it with DS1 - I was certainly very interested in him but I was more than happy to hand him over to others while I had a sleep/shower/did something random for myself.

If you don't feel it either then don't worry - 11mo on and I think he's the best baby ever. I do honestly look at my friends' babies and think 'You must all be jealous 'cos mine is the best' of course I know they all do the same with theirs, so that's fine!

I got through the newborn stage by being very very honest with DH about how I was feeling. If I was pissed off then I said so - I didn't bottle it up. I think that really helped (as did the knowledge that they get bigger very quickly)!

Gnocchi! I always thought I was weird that DD smelt like tangerines as a newborn. Once or twice she would smell a bit like a potato too.

Also agree with Herrena, don't put too much pressure on yourself to feel an overwhelming automatic love that everyone tells you about - it won't necessarily happen and if, like me, you don't get it straight away, you might stuff with intense guilt and confusion over the whole thing.

I loved the newborn phase.

Lots of snuggly hugs with a teeny baby who hasn't yet learnt to pull your hair or ping your bra strap or chew your nipple whilst feeding (DS I'm looking at you).

A nice, light baby that is so easy to take everywhere and sleeps on your knees in cafes.

Lots of lovely comments and congratulations from people when out and about saying how gorgeous your baby is (and your baby will be)

The first 6 weeks were actually pretty easy for me. It was 3 - 5 months that I found hard (might be cos we moved house during that time!)

I love newborn babies. And the feeling of snuggling with your baby just can't be beaten. Except maybe when they are just gazing at you and you love them soo much Soppy, but true.

I think for some reason, people just like to maintain this masochistic, martyred rhetoric that it's all such hard work. No one talks about how amazing it could be because it's like we're all so afraid of expressing our truest, most primal selves.

I am 19 weeks pregnant with my first, and I think about my baby in very evolutionary, primal, animal terms. We are mammals yet we choose to remove ourselves from these very animal instincts at the time when it's all about out instincts. She - I have no idea what she/he is yet but I am randomly choose pronouns - she is my cub, and when I watch nature programmes I see the cheetahs cub yapping for their mums, or bear cubs playing and tumbling all over their mother bears, or the whale calf swim so close to their huuuuuge whale mothers, and I just think - that will be us. My cub will stay close to me, keep me awake, need me for feeding, cry for me...and that is what I am here for. I am her mother, she is my cub.

It's that that I think about when I get overwhelmed about the impending labour, or wondering if I will make it through those first winter months when I already find winter hard. It's that I come back to when I worry and think about how I have no experience of babies or get hung up on the smallest quandary. Despite all those worries, I trust that ultimately, she is mine and I am hers and all of the instincts hormones will make her wonderful to me, and me to her.

I hear and read people talk about how wonderful their newborn is - I don't feel it, I don't get it - because those babies are not mine. But I know those people are feeling and experiencing those things because their babies belong to them. I trust the same thing will happen to me and my baby. Right now I cannot imagine going through any amount of pain to get her out of me safely - but I trust that in that moment, I will. Right now I am slightly scared of labour, but I trust that when the time comes, my only concerns will be for my baby, not for myself.

I see it a hundred times in nature programmes, and I've heard it a hundred times on this site - the wonderful, wonderful things parents will do, go through, and experience with their babies. From all of that, I expect it to be hard sometimes but nowhere near as amazing as the good things will be - even though I can't yet imagine quite what or how they will come to be :)

There's also the very first time they smile at you, that's magical! Worth all the sleepless nights etc for that!

First time round it took months and months before I had to do anything much at all, just sit around eating cake and drinking tea (brought over by friends) and read tons of books, so that's not too bad! Baby slept loads in between feeds. No wonder I decided to have another almost straight away! Bit of a shock to get one that appeared to never need to sleep

Yes, I am put off having a second at the thought that this one might never sleep / have colic / be a monster.

Good babies are great, but lead you into a false sense of security.

Oh wow - thanks for all the replies everyone!

That blog post is lovely ShushBaby. and BuntyCollocks - I suspect I'll feel the same, I'm not enjoying being pregnant to be honest so I reckon I'm bound to feel physically better!

Bettybat - I like your cub/mother analogy, thanks for sharing that. The level of responsibility and dependence is scary at times, but also amazing, I think I'd love it.

Gnocchi - your list is fab, me and DP always feel excited/broody when we think of that first point: "Having a little unique something that is half of you and half of the person you love most in the world"
can't wait to meet him/her. Nearly halfway now!

Tiny babies are simply magical. You'll find yourself staring at your baby for hours an hours, amazed that you made them. Yes you get sleepless nights but they don't last long.

The first few weeks of DD's life were absolutely magical. DD was so cuddly, I loved breastfeeding (yes, at any time) and DP was off work so we really bonded as a unit. We had a lovely time together. I even liked the smell of newborn poo. Honestly!

Its a big learning curve, and its good to be aware of 'worst case scenarios' so its not a complete shock if it does turn out that way, but you should definitely focus on the positives at this stage (as you are!)

I liked it so much we are having another in August and I can't wait.

Speaking as someone who is somewhat heavily pregnant and fed up.....

The best thing about a newborn is no longer being pregnant!! .

They are also cute, they dont argue with thier siblings, they smell devine...the list goes on!

The smell
The cuddles
Just looking at them and thinking "Wow. I made you!"
The overwhelming love for them that can reduce you to tears (but fear not if this is not instant, it is something that grows with time anyway, and not everyone has love at first sight. Sometimes it takes a bit longer)

Now as a mum of several slightly older children I appreciate newborns for their simplicity (in some ways) compared with older babies and children. I also realise how fast it passes and is gone forever. However, I don't think I felt that way for DC1.

The little 'conversations' you will have. Right from birth she will stare at your face and mimic your expressions in return, then she'll start chatting away in her own little language.

"The bubble of love". You will do the above in the supermarket queue, without realising 15 minutes have past and people are looking at you like this

The smell, and fluffy hair, and the way their little legs are still scrunched up so their bum sticks out as you lift them, and wrinkly old man forehead when he stretches!

Oh god yes WantAnOrange!

I always thought I'd be too self conscious to talk to DC out in public, but I find myself chattering away to DS without any regard for who else is around. Often complete gibberish as well.

The way that time can stand utterly still when you are rocking them in your arms.

(And I say that as someone who had a fucking horrible first 5-6 weeks with their first - there were still wonderful, fulfilling bits, which end up being greater in number than the grim bits. I'm going to do it all over again in approx 5 weeks' time )

"people just like to maintain this masochistic, martyred rhetoric that it's all such hard work."

Or maybe some people really do find the newborn phase really hard.

I know I did first time, and DD1 wasn't a particularly tough baby. I was just totally knocked sideways by the reality of being a mother, the relentlessness of the needs and the enormous responsibility.

There is lots to love about having a newborn. But there's no need to make women who struggle with it feel bad about themselves.

Particularly when you have no experience what it's like.

A newborns head is the softest and sweetest thing you will ever rub your face against.
Looking in to your newborns eyes and feeling that connection that no one else has with you.
Their tiny little fingers and tiny little toes. In fact their tiny little everything :)
That milky smell that babies have.
The little twitches and jumps and all the noises they make - so squeaky and adorable!
The balled up fists and big yawns and sleepy cuddles.
The one person who you can talk to about anything and they'll listen
You can sit down and watch tv whenever you like and have cuddles at the same time!

I could go on forever :)