Anyone else disappointed by gender scan? Feeling really horrid...

[Naisy]

Feeling really ashamed of myself. Was looking forward to 20 week scan yesterday and was firstly disappointed by the scan experience. Didn't really get to see 'the baby' bar two quick glimpses. Everything is ok and the guy was very curt and focused on his job (fair enough) but felt like a big anti climax

Then he said we were having a boy (we wanted to know gender) and then out in the hall afterwards my DP was so excited and I burst into tears

Had of course said it didn't matter what gender, as long as the baby was healthy (like everyone else)- but I guess I wanted a girl. But on being told boy I feel really bereft - and ashamed of feeling this way . We had planned to go and buy a few outfits and we did but my heart wasn't in it and I felt like I was performing for DP. Couldn't even look across to the girls section for fear of crying again.

Still feeling qiuite teary this morning and am frightened by my reaction. Can anyone offer me any reasssurance? I feel awful...

glad your feeling better naisy congratulations on your little man, now is the time to start thinking of names

Hi Sorry you feel this way.

I have 2DD. I was elated to find out I was having girls and admittedly, at that point in time, would have been upset to have had boys. However, i am now older and wiser, and now have 2mc to my name, to know that a healthy baby is far more important. I know many people who would give an arm and a leg to be pregnant and go on to have a healthy baby.

It's only hormones making you feel this way. Your little boy will be great! Congratulations!! x

I am pg with DC3 and found out last week that I am expecting a girl. I already have 2 DS and I was desperate to have another. Stupidly, I had convinced myself DC3 would be another boy and so when I was told it wasn´t I was heartbroken and burst into tears as soon as I came out of the room. A week on and I am still very sad about it.

I think in my case a lot of it is to do with the poor reationship I have with my own mother and the absolute fear I have that I will become like she was with me growing up and I will ruin everything. One of my friends wanted a girl because of the great relationship she has with her own mother and I can totally understand that. In my case it is the exact opposite

It is very hard to talk about this in RL, even DH doesn´t know the real reasons for my preference.

Yes, I feel bad for feeling this way and yes I should have known that the chances of either are 50/50 but for some strange reason I totally pictured myself with three little boys, I suppose I am mourning that scenario aswell.

When pg with my first I didn#t want to find out - partly because I knew I'd be disappointed if it was a boy (felt very sure it was a boy as well).
Partly I think I'm just disappointed to close down the options - would prefer to dream about names for both right until the end.
It was a boy, but of course that was a minor detail at the momentous occasion of birth and all the amazement that entails - so wasn't disappointed at all when he arrived.
Now I have 2 boys and can agree with other posters that they are amazing!
Also boys names are harder (imo) so now you'll be able to concentrate on coming up with a decent one!
Pregnancy hormones make us cry about a lot of things that we feel we shouldn't - e.g. me crying for 2 days about being pg with no.3, even though it was planned..... how silly.....
On the other hand it is amazing how quickly your emotions can turn around - I hope you start feeling better about it soon. It's great that your dp is over the moon.
x

I think it could be quite a natural reaction from the psychological point of view that we were little girls and can most identify with little girls - I'm pretty sure my 12 wk scan ( though actually 13 wks ) shows a little boy and I was surprised at my feeling - more of unfamiliarity than disappointment. I only have a sister and my family are quite matriarchal. My baby dolls were always little girls, though I tired of dolls and preferred lego. It's more that I don't have those memories I can relate to of being a little boy! Also when I think I might have a girl I think of all the advice ill pass on as she grows up, whereas with a boy I'm a bit stumped! Hearing about my DHs childhood, the middle of 3 boys, fills me with a slight shudder (as does DH as he reflects in the mischief he got up to!) I simply have little understanding of what theyll come up against other than how important it appears to be to win. (Dh) HOWEVER I do know as a teacher I have always actually found the boys easier and sometimes more fun to teach - I like bugs and explosions (mints in cola, volcanos) and after teaching sen for 6 years where most of my pupils are boys i'm a dab hand at lego, building cars and woodwork ;b

All I'm saying is that it could be a deeper psychological reaction rather than simply wanting a girl, and thus quite natural. I agree with the anomaly stuff, that's that I'm very worried about.

And yes as peterpie says, the relationship we had with our own mother probably comes into play too, we may have a subconscious want to re-enact all the things she did with us as little girls if we admired her when we ourselves were little.