Is there a support thread for the larger mum-to-be? Anyone want to join me??

[ValiumQueen]

I am thinking of a safe place to discuss issues pertinent to those carrying extra weight - clothes shopping, weight gain, additional tests and scans, potential concerns about labour etc. Any thoughts?

I am expecting DC3 in October, and have a BMI of about 37.

Hi there

I am 5'2" and have a BMI of 36. I am 19+2 now. I have not been offered any extra tests or scans or consultant appointments. Should I have been??
I have also been told my HB in a very remote area is fine without so much as a hint of a fight lol.

I bought a huge bundle of size 18 maternity clothes on ebay. They were really cheap and are fab. Saved me trawling through websites too. (no shops within a days journey!)

I have been lucky with my weight and am still at my pre-pregnancy weight. I lost about half a stone in the early weeks and have been slowly putting that back on.

I don't know how I have managed it but the flab has rounded off into a lovely bump now. I didn't think I would show for a while due to my size but the bump really is quite neat!

How are you finding things? I am completely knackered and finding myself very achy already but I put that down to this being #4 as well as my size

My bmi was 30 to begin with I'm 29 weeks now and now must b well over that gained like 1 and a half stone was given a consultant she cudnt understand y as my midwife had ticked low risk! Consultant now says wastebof time I'm fine my other 2 births were perfect etc also been asked to do glucose test which I haven't done yet woopsie! I was given 2 extra growth scans one at 28 weeks which was fine they said baby a bit on small side but no concerns ! Bloody waste of my time if u ask me! Considering I was only borderline obese at the time ffs!

Greetings Ladies I was sent for a GTT at 14 weeks, and am getting extra scans and Consultant Led care. GTT was fine. Perhaps I am extra complicated as I am 43.

I weighed less with my first, but was told I was too fat for a Waterbirth They did not tell me this until I arrived at Labour Ward. I had only put on 20lb.

I am 16 weeks, and watching my diet as I do not want to put on too much weight. I put on about 4 stone with DD2.

Hello I'd like to join too! I had a BMI of 34 with my first pregnancy so was not classed as high risk, however this pregnancy I will be as I am heavier (not calculated it this time but I'm 5' 5 and 15 stone 10). Not looking forward to being judged for being a larger pregnant lady - I did try to lose weight before this pregnancy but I got impatient and got pregnant!

Am hoping this can be a safe haven for us all.

Hello Bumgrapes Fab name! I am keen for a Safe Haven. I have noticed a lot of Press recently criticizing women for having babies whilst overweight, and the one episode of OBEM I watched there was a large lady who was absolutely slated on the thread on here, so I feel quite self-conscious and vulnerable due to my weight and age.

I joined Slimming World 16 weeks ago, not thinking I would ever get pregnant again (bit of a shock), but had to stop at about 12 weeks as my cravings and Morning Sickness just did not suit the Plan. I tried to join WW last week, but not allowed due to PG.

GP and MW less than helpful - MW said I was not obese, just cuddly, and suggested a Home Birth or Water Birth. DD1's birth was traumatic, and my weight was blamed for the complications, so I had an ELCS for DD2. I will only be having this baby with an ELCS.

It is so good to hear Sarahmarie that you had two good births - I honestly thought that was impossible unless you were slim.

I am still following WW, but adding in extra points for baby, and choosing healthy options wherever possible. I am not aiming to lose weight, but avoid getting massive again.

When I got my BFP my first thought was "I will get fat again" - I had lost 1 1/2 stone by then. I had really bad SPD last time, blamed on weight, and therefore 'self-inflicted'. My baby was 10lb 3oz - also my fault.

Gosh, I have a few issues it appears....

Just calculated my BMI - I'm hitting 37 too Valium!

It is only early days for me (6 weeks pregnant).

Things that are worrying me this time (trivial and not so trivial)

• Another shoulder dystocia (I am unsure as to whether my weight was a contributing factor, but it may well be) DS was 9lb, but not a "big" baby, a long baby...
• SPD starting sooner, or being more severe, especially with having DS to run around after.
• Being harder to scan with having this extra fat
• Not showing with a proper bump (I know this is trivial!!)
• Being demonised by my Consultant - I sound like I am in denial here, but I class myself as a healthy fat person (haha) because I do eat healthily. It's just I like to top it off with snacks of cheese on toast etc...

This pregnancy I am trying to avoid refined sugar. I don't want to get diagnosed with GD, never had it last time, would hate to get it this time, I would definitely blame myself then.

I am hoping when the tiredness goes away I can start swimming and doing zumba again (I was exercising regularly before I got pregnant).

Something you mentioned in your OP - I haven't got a clue where to get my maternity clothes from this time - last time I was a size 18 so it was ok, but as a size 20 now I find I've dropped off most of the ranges - I might have to just wear a moo moo!!

Hi. Marrking my place. Will reply properly tomorrow.

Hello ladies, can I pop in briefly. DS is 18 months now but I was really worried about impact/comments about my weight when I got pregnant. But I had a really easy pregnancy and great labour and no-one mentioned my weight except for me throughtout all! Appreciate it's not always that simple but just thought I would share my story as it contradicts some of the scare stories you can read. Also I was just short of 42 when I gave birth. Good luck to you all.

Hi! How I wish MN would let me send messages of more than 5 lines, I've got so much to say. I've got eating disorders. BMI was 31 before pregnancy. I am 16wks pregnant and haven't gained weight (yet), but I'm afraid I'm falling back into anorexia (can't eat more than 1200kcal/day ATM). It's my 3rd pregnancy and my weight was never a problem (no diabetes, perfect BP, textbook deliveries).

Hello. I had been doing WW when i fell pregnant. I lost 2 stone and my BMI is now 32 (was 31 but put a little on and at booking at 10 weeks she took my weight then so its crept up!!) Im on DC2 and was alot smaller when i was pregnant with her but due to tablets i went on after her birth i put on 4stone and havent lost it all yet. Nothing has been mentioned about my weight however i am consultant led care due to what happened after my daughters birth so not sure if it just hasnt been mentioned as im consultant led anyway!

Hi again ladies. I had a bmi of 40 upon booking. Pregnancy was not planned. Tbh had so many factors which I thought added up to little chance of pregnancy including age (44) and previous fertility issues and medication dh was on.
I am now 21 weeks and I have been quite concerned about how the medics will view this pregnancy. (also had 2 previous csections)
So far I have had to take extra folic acid. This was a nighmare sorting it out. On booking I was given a sheet telling me about all the possible scary outcomes more likely because of my weight. Was eating really healithy up to that point. Really couldn't see the point of that as it not as if I even planned to get pregnant.
Other than that i have been told that I will need a GTT. No biggy as I need to anyway due to family history of diabetes. An appointment with consultant at 7 months. Although again would need thant anyway. Aa appointment with the anethesitist (sp) ans possible extra growth scans.
I too am really stressed out shopping for mternity clothes. There is so little choice in size 20. Plus also being only 5ft2 doesn't help. Mothercare do some items but they are so expensive. Any tips appreciated.

Hi york67 I'm looking for maternity clothes too. I've got lots of tops and a few pairs of trousers from my previous pregnancies, but I really need a nice dress that would cover my knees and upper arms (not a maxi, they make me look like a tent). I live in France, where most maternity clothes go up to a size 16 only , and the dresses are so short!

I found Ebay was my friend - got a much wider choice in my size than going to any particular store.

Hello all Lovely to see a few names I recognize, and a few I don't.

Bumgrapes DD2 gave me some of them Shoulder Dystocia ouch! DD1 got stuck and needed Ventouse - I was told it was because fat builds up down the birth canal. That sure helped me overcome a traumatic delivery .
I share your fear about SPD, as I work full time and have a very excitable 2yo.
The only problem I have had with scans is having to hold the flab out of the way, especially with the early ones
I have bump envy - mine has always had a wobbly underhang, and folk just think I am just even fatter until I reach about 30 weeks.
You do sound pretty healthy though, overall, so well done, and do keep it up.
I am looking for size 20 clothes - what a difference one size makes! I find that everything that big goes for daft prices on ebay too so there is definitely a market for it. I want into DPs the other day, could only see up to size 16, so left. I did not even have the guts to ask.

York67 Another wrinklie I have not been told about extra folic acid, but wasn't even able to keep down the lower dose.

Fatlady Great name, and old too Thank you so much for sharing your positive story, and kind words of encouragement. I do only tend to hear the bad stories.

Javotte Bonjour! I also have a history of eating disorders so I understand. I am 5'8, and have been every size from 8 to 24. When I was an 8 I still felt fat. I had Anorexia with Bulimic tendencies. I never count calories as it would be my downfall.
I work with people with addictions, and they as a general rule have tiny bumps, sneeze out dainty little babies, and have so much care and attention lavished on them during their pregnancies (due to concern for the child obviously). I sometimes feel if you are overweight you are looked upon with disgust by the medics, and very little help is offered.
I am 16 weeks and weigh a lot less than at conception, but I do seriously feel 1200 calories is not enough. I have been told that myfitnesspal thingy has a setting for pregnancy and could tell you how much extra you need for your baby and you. Do stick around - hopefully this thread will help

Off to look at ebay, and hopefully not be bidding against you guys!

I lived in long tunic tops and leggings with DD2, but threw them away 2 months BFP as we had given up hoping. Sold the ruddy pram too!

Another winge - wraps/baby carriers - I had a lovely one with DD2, but never wore it past showing it to DH with a doll in it, as I looked awful! Anyone know of a wrap with built in control panties/corset??

Thanks ValiumQueen. Believe me, it's even worse to be a binge eater in France, because doctors have never heard of it and think you're just being greedy. I'm trying to eat more because I do know 1200kcal is not enough (I need more than 2000 when I'm not pregnant) but I went through a month-long binge when morning sickness was over and I'm terrified of putting on more weight.

My first ever comment/post on MN... here we go. Really glad to find this thread. I am 14w+4 and BMI 38. MW referred me to an OB, who scheduled me some extra scans (30wks + 36wks) & GTT at 28 wks but other than that bounced my care back to MW. Trying not to read too many scare stories about extra risks and what could go wrong etc but must say the whole thing is getting me down a bit - like other posters have said it is v hard feeling judged all the time and weight seems to be the one thing people have no qualms slagging you off for. Good to see some positive stories on here though and to know that I am not alone. Thanks ladies x

Oh and PS Mamas & Papas have some nice stuff in size 20, hope that helps, you can order online too which avoids the whole stress of trying to find the one thing in your size in the shop. They also do their jeans in three leg lengths so if like me you are short too, it's covered. Pricey, but covered :)

Hello CanI welcome to mumsnet and this thread. Glad you found us. I will look at Mamas and Papas as I still have some birthday money left. Thank you for the tip.

Hello everyone! I have a BMI of 31 and am 9 weeks pregnant. I am exactly the same weight that I was when I conceived with DS, who is now nearly 2. I put on about 35lbs over that pregnancy, and peed most of it out the week after he was born :)

I'm in America where people are fatter and they are more used to dealing with it, so maternity clothes aren't a problem for me (lucky me). I'm getting stuff from oldnavy.com which is gap's cheap'n'cheerful sister brand. When I start looking pregnant at work I'll have to try a bit harder and get out of these lovely, lovely trackies!

My MW during the last pregnancy counselled me against eating sweets, and I had to take a GTT (glucose test) but passed. DS was 9lbs (but then, so was I at birth - and I'm 5'8" and he's VERY tall!). The birth was a straightforward vaginal delivery with only a teensy tear and 1 stitch, so I am avoiding worrying too much about anything else, and I hope I can be a positive story on this thread!

Last pregnancy I didn't do any exercise other than walking the dog, which I do for 45 minutes every day, at quite a brisk pace. This time I am determined to swim and maybe go to some yoga, just to give my joints (and me!) a break. Not presently sure how I will afford it, as there aren't any public pools here so you have to join the YMCA or something - but it's my priority.
I am trying to focus on fitness and eating enough protein. I'm struggling with sickness and carb cravings at the moment, but making sure I eat something with meat in and some leafy greens at least once a day. Roll on 2nd trimester energy boost, right now I just want to be (1) in bed or (2) eating something sour!

Hi Blackcurrants. I was thinking of ordering a few clothes from oldnavy (my brother lives in the US and could bring them back). Are they good quality? What size do you order? (I'm 5'7'' and my BMI is 31 too so we must be roughly the same size)

Lost 3lb this week since getting back on the healthy eating wagon. I am not trying to lose weight! I am eating tons of lovely healthy stuff. Just been to see MW and all is fine. Lovely to hear the heartbeat! No mention of weight at all.

The 3lb means my clothes are less snug around my tum, which is a relief.

Hi Javotte! I think we probably are the same size - I wear Old Navy jeans and tshirts and hoodies all the time at weekends, and before pregnancy was wearing Old Navy size 14 jeans, 14 knit tops (tshirts and stuff) but 16 in woven shirts, because sometimes they're not cut very generously in the boob area. I;'ve just ordered these trousersin a 14 which are currently a bit too loose in the waist but will fit well once there's a more defined bump, this top in a 'large' which fits well on the chest and which will have PLENTY of bump-room later (I like that it's a bit baggy cos it gets very hot here in the summer, so floaty cotton is a-ok!), and this dress in a Large which is really pretty and I think will be ok as office wear into the winter months with black/navy opaque tights and a cardie.

The reviews are usually worth a read because O.N. aren't always consistent in their sizing. Reviews usually give you an idea if you need to order up or down a size.
It's not great quality but not bad. Not as good as gap, better than primark. I've lived here so long that I don't have a UK equivalent at the top of my head, but I can get away with wearing Old Navy dresses and trousers and woven shirts to teach in or for the office. I wouldn't, say, buy a suit from there - but the separates are ok. And the sun-dresses are nice.

Hope this helps!

I practically lived in a bootcut version of these jeans during my last pregnancy, but on digging them out of the attic I found they were all a 16 and I'm a 14 now, so I think they won't fit for ages. That's a bit annoying. Might ebay them and see if I can get a replacement that way!

I have a BMI of 37 and I am 9 weeks pregnant. I am generally quite worried what the obstetrician is going to say but I hope that they are gentle with me! It's not like I don't know I am overweight!

I'm glad you had a good appointment, Valium - I've got mine in an hour... am hoping to discuss a waterbirth, we'll see how they go. They're a birth centre so hopefully they'll think it's possible.