Is there a support thread for the larger mum-to-be? Anyone want to join me??

[ValiumQueen]

I am thinking of a safe place to discuss issues pertinent to those carrying extra weight - clothes shopping, weight gain, additional tests and scans, potential concerns about labour etc. Any thoughts?

Hello, please can I join you? I'm 14+5 today with DC2 and I've got a BMI of 32 (and that's despite having lost over a stone due to having hyperemesis!). I'm very self conscious about my weight at the best of times and being pregnant isn't helping - little things like BMI++ being printed on the top of the scan photo etc. Thanks for that!!

Have found that New Look did some nice maternity stuff in a size 18 - I'm another one who's not intending to wear short dresses etc!

Great thread :)

I'm 26, I had been TTC for about 5 years and decided to lose weight last year to increase my chances/be a suitable weight for asking for assistance. Got from a BMI of 53 down to around 40 last year before finding out I had concieved naturally.

My BMI at booking in was 41 (the day after boxing day so inflated with Christmas eating). I lost weight in Jan/early Feb due to healthy eating/sickness I think I got down to 38. I'm now 30 weeks and my weight has got back up to what it was around booking in. That said, I haven't been eating as healthily as I could so I do think it would have been possible for me to keep my weight down a little longer.

In terms of care, I've been seen by my local midwives connected to the MLU so far. They have been great and reassured me that weight alone wouldn't stop me from birthing with them. A consultant looked over my notes earlier in pregnancy and only made the commented on them that she'd see me towards the end of pregnancy to discuss birth options. My midwives told me that this was standard, and that I'd be told the risks (such as increased risk of PPH) but that I'd still be able to choose the MLU if I wanted.

I saw an anesthist (sp?) earlier in pregnancy because of my BMI (again the routine proceedure). She just talked about pain relief options, and checked my back and mouth to make sure there weren't issues that would make anesthisia difficult. I was told that if I wanted an epidural I'd need to ask for it early so they had more time to site it, and that in the event of an EMCS if I didn't already have a epidural there was an increased risk that I'd need to go under GA. I wasn't fussed by this however as I planned to give birth at the MLU so knew if I ended up in CLU that it would be because of medical necessity.

Unfortunately, 2 weeks ago I gave a urine sample that showed I had a UTI, and they sent the sample off and it came back positive for group b strep. That's really going to change my birth plans, as I'll need IV antibiotics during labour. I think that's just one of those things and is unconnected to my weight.

As part of my antenatal care the midwives have started weighing me at appointments. I'm not too concerned about this as I weight myself anyway, but I guess others could find it stressful. I'm really happy with how the MLU have dealt with my high BMI though I am now concerned about how I'll be treated in labour at the CLU.

I think that once the baby is here and we've recovered from the birth and established breastfeeding, I'd like to start losing weight again. I had it in my mind last year when I was losing weight that I was doing it so I could have a healthy pregnancy and birth and be the kind of active mum I'd like to be. So in a way, when I got pregnant early (i.e. before I was down to my target weight) I was a bit disappointed that I would still be a larger women for my pregnancy, even though this baby was much longed for. I didn't believe I could get pregnant without help (I mean we had been TTC for years) so it didn't occur to me to stop TTC whilst I lost weight, and I think even if it had, I wouldn't have done it because we wouldn't have wanted to deny the merest chance of getting pregnant. :(

I'd like to make sure that I start any future pregnancies at a healthier weight. That said, there really isn't any point having a go at larger women who are already pregnant. As the advice is to not diet, there is little that we can do about it other than try to make sure we're in better health next time.

I speak only for myself about the health thing. I know I wasn't healthy, but I totally believe that some healthy people are larger than others and don't necessarily fit nicely into the normal BMI range.

I agree about the lack of suitable maternity wear for larger women. I have mostly stuck to the larger sizes of clothes that I hadn't thrown away after losing weight and stretchy waistbands. I did treat myself to over the bump maternity jeans (size 22) and a maternity swimming costume from NEXT - had to use their online store as the nearest one doesn't have a maternity section.

Interestingly enough, I wish I had gone for a size 20 in the mat jeans. Although I had just got down to a size 22 before pregnancy, much of my excess was in the belly area, which is covered by the stretchy bump panel, so they don't stay up very well, I think my hips etc which should hold the jeans up are maybe a size down. Plus I did lose weight in the early months of pregnancy which might have altered my size too.

Totally understand the concern about cost though. Although £30 isn't too unreasonable for my jeans, I don't think I've ever paid that for a non-maternity pair cheapskate

All the best with your pregnancies ladies xx Thanks for the thread :)

Spirited I am GBS positive too - they test as routine over here in the US.
The MLU may still be an option for you - some people can have homebirths with GBStrep, after all, so MLU might be worth checking out for some more info. this is worth a read. Not that I have an agenda as to where you give birth, but I was pleased to find this out and thought you might be too! :)

Thanks Blackcurrents (nice name :) ). Coincidentally I was having a read of that this morning.

Having GBS in the urine (as opposed to just on a swab) is one of the added risk factors for infection, so I think I'd prefer to have the antibiotics. I notice that some of the women on there had antibiotics at a hospital in early labour and then went home for the birth. I'm not sure that would be practical for me as the CLU unit is an hour from home and the MLU.

Obviously I'll still talk it over with my consultant when I meet with her next month. It would be great if I could be given the antibiotics at the MLU, but I don't think they would be likely to do that in case of complications.

I know the risks of my baby being ill even without the antibiotics are low, but because one of my biggest terrors at the moment (I suffer from anxiety) is being seperated from my baby after birth, the thought of him/her being whisked off to a neonatal unit because of problems after birth is a bit more scary to me than us being together in the CLU. If taking the antibiotics gives us a better chance of both being healthy after birth then I'll probably go with that.

Hope that doesn't sound like I've dismissed what you've said out of hand because I really appreciate hearing if there are options, and a MLU/homebirth is really what I would have wanted. I just realise there is good reason why my situation would be considered higher risk so will talk things through with a consultant.

Thanks xx

Hello everyone! I am 27+2 weeks and started off with a BMI of 35. The MW was very nice but said I had to be referred to a specialist MW anyway, she was also nice but said I had to be referred to a consultant. At least none of the medical staff have treated me like an idiot who didn't know she was overweight! All this because I have polycystic ovary syndrome and no one could decide whether I should keep taking my medication or not. (No brainer for me - I couldn't find any stories about it having a bad effect on the baby and no one could tell me any, and it's meant to help me not get diabetes so should stop GD too!) Luckily the consultant said I should definitely keep on with it. She also said I have to have an extra scan, which doesn't bother me, and a GTT, which does - it's this week and I'm convinced it will show up problems (being a natural pessimist).

Maternity clothes - I am another size 20 and have found Next pretty good, though even their shorter-length trousers are too long for me! Also I have a couple of tops from La Redoute, and some baggy floaty tunics from Yours Clothing which I'm hoping will work for msot of the summer.

Hello. I am 14 weeks with DC2 and have a BMI of around 45

Have been referred to consultant led care again for this pregnancy and am ok with this. Last time I had a very good pregnancy and everything was fine. Passed the GTT test (!) and except for a couple of instances of raised BP, all well.

Went overdue by 12 days, went to hospital to be induced but during monitoring they discovered the DD was distressed so had an EMCS under GA. It was quite frightening but DD and I were both fine and I recovered very well. I was treated very well by everyone responsible for my care throughout and was never made to feel bad about the high BMI.

This pregnancy has started well and I weigh less now than I did before I conceived (not by a lot, but avoiding gain is the key). I mus be the only person who only ever loses weight when pregnant!

Interested in maternity clothes recommendations - am a 22/24 so any suggestions gratefully received, although will hang onto normal clothes as long as I can!

Has anyone else been prescribed daily aspirin from 12 weeks? Midwife is really keen, says it is to reduce risk of clots and high BP. Just curious if anyone else ding this?

No asprin for me. Greetings new ladies... cannot stop as DD2 playing up. Still awake Grr!

Had my 30 week antenatal appointment with my midwife this evening. She made me feel better about the group strep b thing. She said that although its not great I still have choices, that we'll see how the rest of my pregnancy goes and make decisions then. She also said that if I do end up in the CLU that she'll write in big letters on my birth plan that they have to pay attention to it! (I have a big fear of not being listened to in a highly medicalised environment) and that if the birth is straight forward that we can transfer back to the MLU afterwards.

She made me feel very welcome. I don't know what I expected phew glad you have a condition that means we can ship you out to the CLU

Sorry, I know its a bit offtopic but as we started discussing it earlier.

She didn't weigh me this time, but supported me in telling myself off for too many sugary snacks this past week. And she helped me out by removing some blood and requesting a urine sample, so I'm definately lighter than I was when I went in.

:) I had my booking-in appt this week. Think I'm somewhere between 8-9 weeks. She booked me in for the GTT at 12 weeks (or maybe 16) and we talked about avoiding sugar and any refined wheat (bread/pasta) or 'white carbs' in general (eg white potatoes). Low Glycaemic Index is the way I'm going, I think. It'll help me keep weight gain under control. Sugar is my nemesis, I just can't keep a lid on it, so it's easier to avoid.

I'm experimenting with things like mashed califlower instead of mashed potato, it's pretty good!

In this and all other things my MW was lovely and, when I talked about being GBstrep positive last time, she pointed out that I might not be this time - which I hadn't realised could happen, and which was nice. She also said that even if I was on a drip I could still get in the pool which was exactly what I wanted to hear!

Hi blackcurrants. I'm glad your MW is nice!. Sugar is my worst enemy too but I told my doctor I wouldn't do the GTT and she agreed (my blood sugar levels were perfect before pregnancy and I have no history of GD).
(ewww, cauliflower! )

Hi ladies. Just come back from scan. All appears to be well which is great. However, still feel bad a report states not all problems ccan be picked up and "scan lower resolution due to bmi". The scan picture is really unclear too.
Don't get me wrong I am so relieved that everything appears ok. So much more stressed this time due to age.
Simply be seem to do maternity clothes in larger sizes.

Hi everyone. I'm upset this morning because I've kept eating 1200kcal a day and I am the same weight I was a week ago. I can't need so few calories, I'm hungry all the time!!! What am I doing wrong? I really wanted to lose 2lbs before my next appointment (on Tuesday).

Javotte, I'm sorry you're so upset. Remember, your weight fluctuates by 3-4lbs any given day - you can weigh less first thing in the morning than last thing at night, depending on your metabolic water and all kinds of other variables. Please don't stress about 2lb.

Secondly, I don't know how far along you are but actively restricting calories during pregnancy can't be a good thing. Are you eating enough protein, vegetables and good fats (avocados, olive oil)? Or are you eating white stodge and being hungry and desperate all the time?
Please don't deprive yourself, it's just not worth it and you will pay the price. Your body takes what it needs for the baby and you are the one left without optimal nutrition to run on, which just makes you miserable.
Are you taking a multivitamin and some fish oil capsules?

None of these are diet tips, I know, but then I don't think you should be restricting calories so I'm not able to help you there, I'm afraid. Remember, if your body thinks it's going to be short on food for any period of time, it slows down your metabolism so you burn fuel (fat) more slowly. Which is why dieting doesn't work.
Take a deep breath, remind yourself that 2lbs is neither here nor there, and concentrate on non-food based stress relief, taking some time outside, and eating food that nourishes your body and your baby-to-be.

I rather like this website - primal eating is hard for me at the moment because I'm craving white carbs while I have morning sickness, but in general, it's the way I feel healthiest.

1200 cals isn't enough for me even when I am not pregnant. 1500 is my minumum. If I go less than this I don't lose weight at all as my body goes into starvation mode.

Hi all, have been reading this thread with interest as I have pre-preg bmi of 34. Am 33 weeks now and so far the only problems it has caused is with my measurements. I am measuring big. I know that I'm statistically more likely as an obese person to have a big baby and that the measurement charts are adjusted according to bmi but I am a typical apple shape and carry most of my fat on my belly so I still think this may be exaggerating the measurements slightly. I guess I'll find out in a 7 weeks or so!

Javotte, I think you need to get yourself referred to a nutritionalist. I know that with so many crazy changes happening to your body it helps you feel in control to calorie count but I think you should see an expert to work out how many calories you actually need. Remember that most of the weight you put on is not fat. It is increased blood, uterus, placenta, loads of water and a baby! All this is essential for your baby and it will all go when it is born
If you restrict your calorie intake too much (I suspect you're doing so by at least 1000 cals at the moment) your body will go into starvation mode and will slow down on burning calories.

I hope this makes some sense and would strongly encourage you to get some professional help to work out how to manage your weight in a healthy way for you and, most importantly, your baby

Thanls blackcurrant and dorothy. I know it's very wrong to restrict calories. I'm only eating super-healthy food : lean protein, lots of vegetables, fat-free dairy, and about 1tbs "good fat" / day (and pregnacare too). I also force myself to eat carbs at least once a day. I'm trying to go up to 1800 without starting to binge. Thanks again for your support.

buttercup do you know how much the uterus and placenta weigh at 4 months? If I remember well the baby is about 1/2lb. Thanks for your answer.

Don't forget the increased blood volume and water retention too. The baby is only a small part of any pregnancy weight gain

Sounds like youa re basically eating a Slimming World diet which is perfectly safe. I would just say don't bother calorie counting... just eat sensibly.

I do most of the time (with the exception of the 2 ginger biscuits I have just eaten!)

Hello - joining in... put on a lot of weight just before getting pregnant due to family bereavement and BMI was a BIG shock as I hadn't weighed myself since I was at uni (as I get unhealthy attitudes to my weight/food if I weigh myself and see myself as a number somehow). Actually I cried for days and went into shock - I thought I was about 3st 10lbs less than I came out as and I thought that was depressingly too heavy!

Anyway, I read that we need 500 extra calories a day to furnish baby's needs. So even if we only wanted to stick to 1200 for ourself to lose weight we would need to up that to 1700 to keep baby maintained. Technically if you're eating 1200, your body is only getting 700 calories a day so probably would plateau with no weight loss as you'd be in starvation mode. I agree that it's best not to count calories and to just make healthy choices and try and keep active.

I've reached the point where, despite my feeling very shit about my size I know I can't realistically safely lose much weight until after the baby and I may well put on more than I'd want to. So - I'll have even more motivation to crack on with an exercise programme etc. as soon as I'm able after the baby and I'm sure I'll do it. Most women I've met are very motivated for some reason to get back in shape after the baby and do it then when they never managed to pre-baby. Also I feel that as an 'older mum' I'll owe it to my child to stay healthy and fit. My current midwife (in Norway) has been lovely and there are a lot of 'bigger' women in Norway and weight is not viewed as a big issue in pregnancy (only if surgery like caesarean is required). We'll see how my male specialist gyno is on Tuesday at my 20 wk scan (I have fibroids so have to be under a specialist). At 12 week scan I was warned that they might not get a clear picture 'because of all your extra...um...'tissue' but actually the pics were lovely and clear so I felt a bit annoyed. Hoping the same is true of my 20 wk and I don't have another experience that makes me feel like an apologetic fatso. But so far in Norway, so good. No-one has even mentioned my weight and I'm talking BMI 35/36 at least I think.

As for mat clothes, I'm firmly in the 'don't bother with specially made mat clothes' camp. I'm finding loose fitting tops, elasticated trousers, skirts and loose fit dresses are my friends. Strikes me that most 'mat clothes' are made for normally 'thin' women who want to still look thin and lean apart from their bump. I've had maternity tights around my knees and heard too many horror stories about maternity jeans/trousers falling down to be bothered trying. Anyway, glad we've all got somewhere we're in the same boat. Thanks Valium for starting the thread! :)

Hi Fjord. Perhaps I should move to Norway! . Doctors in France are obsessed with weight. Even slim women are ordered to put no more than a stone and a half during pregnancy. My gyno weighs me every month (I find it humiliating).
I have (at last!) found a couple of decent maternity dresses from C&A. And I've discovered than the maternity trousers I wore for DD and DS are way too big!

Hi guys, sorry not well so cannot contribute as I would like. Waves to Fjord

javotte been quite concerned about you honey, but you have received some good advice and support here. Please up your calorie intake. I lost 3lb last week so increased my intake. Lost 7lb this week, but that is due to illness, and is mostly water loss. At your stage a gain of 1lb a week should be acceptable by you and the french medics, but your body will do what it needs to! I know my baby will be fine as it gets first dibs of everything and I get what is left, hence I feel so rotten!

Hi everyone! I saw my gyno today and everything is OK (but my blood pressure is too low). I have realised that even though I am putting on weight, it must be mainly water. My jeans aren't tighter at all. I'm increasing my calorie intake, but it takes all my willpower to eat a slice of toast and not scoff down ten more (that must sound really pathetic, sorry!)

I have a bmi if 30 I think? When I booked in and my growth scan at 28 weeks due to my high bmi said my baby is small ??