Pregnancy after miscarriage -support thread- Part 2

[cori]

A new thread for us all to share our mutual anxieties, hopes and fears.

Hi, not been around for a while, only caught up on the recent news - Oinker, sending all my best wishes for tomorrow. Truly hoping that easing off of blood and lack of pain is a good sign for you.

I've had a scan a week and a half ago which showed the right size baby and heartbeat - had to bring ds's as couldn't find anyone to look after them so they found out too and are dead excited (though currently not impressed at the possibility that it might not be another boy). Am now 13wks and 1day - feel curiously subdued about reaching second trimester.

Morning all.
Oinker- {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Love & hugs today sweety. Thinking of you. Will be sending huge positive vibes. xxxxxxxxxxx

Oinker - you have been on my mind all morning. Huge hugs to you and here's hoping for positive news. We are all here for you.
Jamiesam - of course you may feel more subdued this time around; you've been through so much and just want to protect yourself a bit just in case but 13 weeks is fantastic so do try to enjoy it a little. I'm now 29 weeks and despite being the size of a house and having a very active little boy in here I also feel less bonded than I did in my first pg with dd. By this stage, I was talking to her and really connecting. I am overjoyed about this pg but just still playing it a bit cool. Hard to explain/describe but I think we all understand that it's more complex being pg after any kind of m/c or loss.

Oinker - hope today goes well for you. I had the discharge that you did at around 7 wks and panic'd, we had a scan the same day and it showed all was fine, stay calm, it seriously could be nothing.
fingers crossed for you.

Oinker - thinking of you today. Let us know how you get on. x
Petunia - the midwives could be wrong they said DD3 wasn't as far down the pelvis as should be but she stayed high in labour too and only came down at the last moment!
Slink - make sure you find out what that was. I don't think it was a show by how much of it you said there was, also the colour. they may have lost the sample (you know how useless they can be at times) or they may be having trouble working out what it is!

Oinker - thinking of you honey.

Petunia - wouldn't take much notice. I have almost the opposite problem. little one is 2/3s engaged and they tend to think with the second that once the head is in you're about to give birth. With dd2 I had raging blood pressure and was being monitored twice a day from about 37 weeks onwards. She could be fully engaged in the morning and totally out in the afternoon so after an initial panic I learnt to ignore them. For me the position of dd2's head meant absolutely nothing.

Slink - " TMI ALERT"* I still am having tonnes of greenish discharge, I mean there are some days with nothing and others with tonnes. Definitely not worried by them. Would say that I have more discharge following loads of work.

Diddle - did I see you saying that you were planning to go back to work after 3 weeks. Wow. With my first I don't think I got out the front door for the first 6 weeks. Saying that with dd2 I was taking dd1 to the park the following day.

Had a small scare last night. I'm getting painful BHs. They're scattered throughout the day so I wasn't sure. Went in and they monitored me and said all was well - no sign of "uterine contractions". Now in a dilema. Should I stop the raspberry tea - sounds mad but I actually like the stuff!

oinker hope all goes well today. Thinking of you.

Can you please tell me if i'm overreacting....Had a still birth at 25 weeks last november. Am now 11 weeks preg and am nervous of everything. Had week of bleeding at 6 weeks but scan at 7 weeks showed a heartbeat.
Consultant said I could have as many scans and check ups as I felt I needed to reassure me.

Felt horrendous preg symptoms at 9 weeks but then it tailed off in week 10...sure this can be totatlly normal, but I am feeling particularly anxious.

I have my hour long booking in tomorrow afternoon where I will need to go through in detail my last two difficult pregnancies (had a bit of a nightmare with DS1 too!) and I desperately want a scan before the booking in to tell me if there is a viable baby still there or not.

special team of midwives at the hospital who look after 'difficult' pregs have said there are no spaces for scans for another 3 weeks. I am absolutely furious and very very upset. I do not want to go through the rigmoral of a booking in until I know it's all ok. I know in my rational mind there is nothing obvious to tell me there is a problem, but on the other hand I have no evidence that everything is ok.

I cannot go through the experience again of carrying a dead baby it is too horrible for words. Sorry if that's too blunt. Am I over reacting - please tell me if I am.

DHW, I dont think you are over reacting at all. I hated my booking in appointment as well, just didnt want to be there, was convinced it could all go wrong again. I think the midwives or a consultant should be able to get you an appointment for scan. It only takes a couple of minutes to check a heartbeat. Many consultant also have mini scanners in there office as well. Whenever I have had antenatal appointments and have been particulary worried about something I have had no problem getting a quick scan. I am sure if a midwife or consultant approaches the sonographer in person and explains your situation you should be able to have one. By the way I had weekly scans and fortnightly antenatal appointments from 12- 20 weeks. It really did help my anxiety.

Whilst you are there prebook a few scan appointments in advance. Dont wait for them to offer them. Maybe one per fortnight until you are past 25 weeks.

Hello everyone,

DHW, don't think you are over-reacting at all. After my missed miscarriage, my terror was going through the same thing all over again and thinking I was pregnant for 5 weeks when I wasn't. I had to fight like fury to get the 8 week scan I wanted, and was in tears on the phone for days until I got through to the right person. Will they let you put off the booking-in? Or can the midwives fit you in if someone cancels (that's what they did for me in the end)?

Oinker, hope it all goes well today, wishing hard for it to.

And I'm 11+5 and absolutely knackered, sick and crabby. Burst into tears quite unreasonably in the office twice last week, and so the doctor has signed me off until I feel better. Which would be great, were I not a freelance and so don't get paid. I also don't want to tell work until after the nuchal scan, and so for the moment it's viral.

Hope everyone else is keeping well.

Cori - thanks for advice. Good plan pre-booking scans. I will do that.

Think I will be a bit more relaxed when I can feel the baby move or listen in with my doppler to the heartbeat - these early weeks are so terrible becuase you just don't know what's happening in there.

I refused to be booked in until I was 13 weeks hence why I didn't have my dating scan until 15 weeks. I had a private nuchal scan prior to that. I TOTALLY understand you not wanting to go through all that without knowing that little one is ok. Would suggest you postpone the booking in appointment and cite the lack of scan as your reason. Then push like mad for an emergency scan. Good luck dhw

oinker- wishing you luck hunny xxxxxxxxxxx

jamiesam- fab news about your scan:)

mygirl- i reckon they will have a problem working out what it was, i read back about my last experince (wrote it all down) and remembered that i had similar before labour last time and i remember the consultants discussing how strange it was in the stitch operation, the lab only came back with normal flora.
wills - have you had your swabbed? mine was pretty solid [yuk] anyway i spoke to someone on the internet who had the same kinda thing and their midwife said it was a show. i don't know whether it matters that much anyway as my cervix is stitched up. if i went into labour now baby would be fine so i am not as paniced. although am stressed about the dreaded chorioamnionitis (inside membrane infection which causes bad things)
5 weeks till i can relax:) its nice counting down!

anyway enough about the snot lol wills if the machine did not register the contractions i guess they weren't big enough so i wouldn't worry, when i was monitored the other day i had a few contractions and the midwife said i had none, i said i thought i had a few and she showed me the chart and said unless they print off bigger they are just tightenings

dh- its normal to be a complete wreck hun i was (and am) too! tell them at your booking how worried you are and they will have to fit you in for a scan or they will doppler you. some hospitals will use a doppler this early. they always try to squeeze an emergency in here and there around the actual booked appointments. im sure everything will be ok however. good luck with booking, im sure the specialist midwives will be nice to you.

‹(•¿•)›meetup‹(•¿•)›
arghhh its tommorrow!! good idea to meetup at 11.30. WILLS are you back in london? SNOWBOO are you gonna come since your only down the road? CORI and ARABICA seeya there xxx
oooh and how will i reconise you all?

Cori - am still in London. Got a letter last week inviting dd2 to a pretester session at her playgroup. Need to get back to you on whether I can organise baby sitting and collection etc. My gut desire is to be around for this first session but that wouldn't stop me then coming on later for a shorter lunch. Where are you all going?

slink - i have a doppler at home and can't pick anything up - very possibly too early. So bloody frustrating. Think I will go along to my booking in and just reinforce how worried i am and how I expect a bit more care.

dhw- just noticed you said you have a doppler, have you tried listening this early? might take some time to find and be messy with the gel but it is possible to hear the heartbeat at 11 weeks.
you must not stress if you don't hear though as baby could be hiding.

DOH! i was writing that when you sent that post lol

Slink - had it tested (twice) and no infection. Have just learnt to live with it .

DHW - I have a doppler and whilst for most it gives reassurance I often found it caused me more worry that not.

wills we are snot sisters! are ya coming meetup tommorrow??

DHW - you are not over-reacting at all, i would say it is totally normal for you to feel this way. I would appear at the scanning department and tell them you are willing tow ait for a tiny slot, if someone is running late you coudl slip in. I'd explain why you feel the way you do like you have to us.
This is your pregnancy, not theirs.

thanks everyone - i was quite willing to accept that i was over reacting! Feel empowered that you agree with me though!! Will try and be strong, brave go getting woman tomorrow (will in reality probably just cry like a baby!!)

Have fun at your meet up....feel quite homesick for london now! Say hello to the old smoke for me

Wills, I will email you my number. Thinking about going to a brassiere around the corner from theatre museum, unless anyone has any other ideas?

Slink, you are joking. Just look for woman who looks like she is about to pop any moment.

I'm back......

As suspected not good news.

Had a scan. Sac and beanie found. Beanie is smaller than expected. I am sure of my 7+2 dates. No heart beat seen. Prof. is 90% sure that I will m/c. I have to carry on with medication until a further scan booked for next tuesday.

I feel Ok and am not at all shocked at the outcome. We wil just have to keep trying.

Oh oinker- so for you. Felt so sure that with you still having pg symptoms there was hope. Take care.

oinker - I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. Thinking of you xxxx

dhw - not over-reacting at all. I m/c at 19 weeks but baby had died some 3 weeks earlier. Can totally relate to your fear about carrying a dead baby ... words can't describe it. This time around I have been so well looked after and everyone's been really understanding. Had scan at 7 weeks then blind panic at 10 weeks so had another one, then 13, 18, 21 and will now be scanned every 4 weeks. If you're worrying, call your midwife, tell her you're getting stressed out and I'm sure she'll organise a scan for you - don't believe there can be no scan for 3 weeks. What if it was an emergency? If not, could you pay for a private one? For me, once I knew I could hear the heartbeat if I was worried I calmed down a little, and then calmed down again once I felt movement. But still have meltdowns if I've not felt anything for a while (am now 24 weeks). Big hug x