Any London commuters about?

[GingerDoodle]

Hi ladies

Just wondering if there way anyone else here who commutes into London and how you were finding it?

GD

I was on the Bank-Waterloo tube the other day and offered my seat to a lady with a Baby on Board badge, she said "thanks I'm fine though" and then I just felt a bit of a twat sitting there! 10 years ago when I was PG and commuting we didn't have those badges and I could have murdered some people sitting there while I was practically fainting!

If I ever see a PG lady and am standing while others stay seated I always say to them "have you noticed that this lady could use a seat?"Some people's lack of consideration is amazing.

Think that's a bit unfair, Aribura - I remember feeling the worst in the early weeks before I was showing.

I commuted on the Northern Line all through my pregnancy - until I was 38 weeks through a very hot summer. I found that asking for a seat politely was a really good idea, sometimes (before your bump is massive) people really are afraid of insulting you and generally people commuting on the tube in the rush hour are oblivious (me included - the best thing to do on a busy tube is to pretend you are not really there!). Therefore I always found if I asked, people were very willing to give up their seats especially those in the priority seats. I found it was better to ask then just get cross about people not recognising I was pregnant and giving up their seat. To be honest being pregnant on the Northern Line restored my faith in humanity - people were generally so nice!

That's mean aribura I felt my worst from that point to about 18-20 weeks. Like I said earlier, in my opinion London could benefit from us all being a little kinder, not competing with each other about who's more pregnant or needy...

I do the Brighton - London commute and am usually - but not always - early enough to get a seat. Am 15 weeks so small bump but bloody knackered so am desperate for a seat but don't have the nerve to ask so my own fault when I'm left standing I suppose but I do wear the Baby on Board badge. Dreading the Olympics too! With DD1, I used to ask the conductor to find me a seat as people genuinely don't see with their eyes in a book or sleeping....

LordyLady and Peppin - I quote Aribura "I'm all for moving if someone's really showing or feels unwell " I think that covers your scenarios :)

Sadly things seems to be going downhill. When I was pregnant with DS in 2009 I almost always got a seat on the tube as soon as I got on. Now, even at 37 weeks, I rarely get to sit own before 4/5 stops. Same line, same commuting times, more or less.
I get really cross when people pretend not to see the badge and the bump: I have SPD and some other problems that make standing on a swerving tube train really quie unpleasant... Men, especially if under 18, over 35 or foreign seem most likely to spring up and offer a seat, 20-35 year-old women are worst...

I haven't been offered one yet at 27 weeks but I suppose my bump is quite small and my coat disguises it I think.

Don't assume that everyone sitting down is ok though. I had a chronic foot injury for over two years (am still recovering from it actually) and had several horrid experiences with not being given seats, or being asked to give one up, because I didn't look as though there was anything wrong with me. The pain was bad enough to nearly faint from on occasions.

I get where Pickle is coming from too. There are probably plenty of conditions more uncomfortable than simply being pregnant but, crucially, they may be invisible!

Yup did the 2 hour each way for all 9 months. Stopped 8 days short of DS arrival. Had to get DH to pull my boots off. Pee-ing and puking apart, found most women worse than men. Young worse than old - at the seat giving up business, but got a nasty scare when got pushed quite close to the edge of the platform once - and became paranoia queen.
Thank heaven for small size newspapers, kindles and iPad for crating room in the tube.

The badge is not only useful for a seat request - it's also good for making people think twice before they push and shove you if you are in busy stations.

Well look guys if you're pregant and need a seat or for that matter if you're feeling " unwell" and need a seat just ask ? Say " I'm pregnant could I have a seat ? " . You'd have to be a turd as a commuter to refuse .

I wasn't mean. I don't mind if you politely ask to sit down, I just hate the people who rub their flat stomachs, sigh loudly and give evils to commuters (and then come on here bitching about how unreasonable the businessmen were for not moving for her. )

When I was pregnant a lady actually demanded I give up my seat for her! She was not decrepit and didn't have a stick and looked in her fifties. I refused. I would have given it up for an old person though or a disabled person or even one who asked nicely - she just said it really rudely!

LordyLady I didn't ask her which lines she used that day but she uses the Piccadilly and District the most.
One time I gave up my seat for an elderly lady and had to block a male teen/twentysomething from getting into it. I thought it looked fairly obvious when I stood up and spoke to the lady that the seat was meant for her. I did tell him he wasn't supposed to take my seat, with the whole carriage listening. That'll teach him! The old lady managed to make it to my seat without further incident.
I'm not that old but I remember being taught in school that you always gave up your seat for the elderly, disabled and pregnant fellow passengers, and also very small children. Perhaps that isn't happening any more?....

I'm in the 'if you need a seat, ask for it' camp. If you ask politely, surely SOMEONE will give up their seat?! Although I am reminded of a lady who was sat in the middle of a 3 seater on the met line, and refused to move along either way so my husband and I could sit next to each other, despite us asking nicely. No reason why she should have of course, but still found it quite rude. Was also newly pg and feeling very emotional so had to hold in the tears... Maybe if I'd told her that and cried she WOULD have moved?! I also remember getting a busy tube home from work with my heavily pg friend, who was very active, climbing on tables at 8 months putting up displays for me (couldn't stop her!) and I loudly asked if she wanted a seat - she often had to stand at rush hour but would never ask as it's only one stop. She got very embarrassed and said no and told me to shush, but no one even batted an eyelid - was goring someone would offer and embarrass her even more! Always remember her story about a tfl guy chasing her through the station to give her a baby on board badge when he noticed she didn't have one, stayed with her until she put it on there and then, and subsequently looked for her at push hour to make sure she was ok! Amazing! Will order my badge later today if my scan goes well...

And kipper I always offer my seat to people who look like they might need it, or couples who want to sit together and my children will be taught to too. It's common courtesy and it's not dad yet!!!

dead

I mainly get the bus not tube & though the 2nd trimester was still happy to go upstairs where there are usually seats.

Once the bump got really big I started to get offered seats downstairs but a couple of times recently have had the 'icy ignoring' thing from people sitting downstairs. Usually people with their headphones on who look completely spaced out.

I find tiredness depends on what I've been doing: if I'm on my way out 1st thing in the morning I can stand, but coming home with shopping bags I feel totally shattered.

I most recently gave up a seat for a woman with a broken leg - no-one else offered her a seat! - but luckily someone else spotted I was pg when I stood up & gave me their seat.

Also have travelled many, many times on the tube with a friend who is disabled & seen people in the priority seats blank her. Wish I had been more bullish on her behalf about asking people to stand up but she is very proud & I know she'd be embarrassed about it.

Hello sorry to jump in. My last pregnancy was 3 years ago but I couldn't see the thread title and not comment. I used to commute into London and then use the tube.

Just some advice for those on mainline trains - check with your train operator because they may have special provision for you! I had an annual season ticket and the then Midland Mainline (now East Mids trains) gave me a free upgrade to 1st class for the duration of my pregnancy. It was a lifesaver at times!

They asked for a letter from my Dr to confirm I was pregnant but that was all. Even asking the staff as you get on the train may get you some help to find a seat.

good luck to you all I know how tiring it is travelling avec bump!

When living in SE London in first pg the first time I was offered a seat was when I was on my way to my 41 week midwife appointment by bus!

To be fair I wasn't massive until the last few weeks but until then I always had to ask. Young men were always the ones who were first to oblige, smartly dressed female city-types (ashamed to say that was me in years past...) always extremely reluctant.

I was extremely lucky in that prior to maternity leave I was commuting in rush hour to the City on the Thames Clipper - always a seat, inside and outside (and a costa coffee )

Expecting DC2 now and SAHM, and living outside London - even harder to get a seat on public transport with buggy in tow especially as at the time we travel all of the other pregnant ladies are travelling too

Sedgers I'm afraid you might have a bit of a wait as you have to send in a copy of your MATB1 form with your SW Trains application which you don't get until 20 weeks. I've found the Baby on Board badge marginally useful up until this point, though people seem to take a lot less notice of it on the train than they do in London. I was standing in the aisle one morning (complete with badge) and had to sit on the floor for a few minutes as I felt really faint and all I got was dirty looks!

I'd like to defend Londoners a bit. I've lived and commuted in London throughout two pregnancies and I've found that on the whole people on public transport were pretty good at giving up their seats. And then good at helping when I had a pram to get up or down steps. And then good at helping when I had a pram and a toddler!! I've had people offer to help hold my daughters hands on the escalator, offer to carry my bags or my pram. Yes there are people who ignore you or try not to notice you but there are far more good people out there.

I agree with clux73. Took my baby on the tube the other day and people were almost running over to offer help. The only people who were frightfully rude were the teenage tourists who forced me to walk in the road as they were blocking the pavements. I think most people (some are just rude) are more backwards at coming forwards for pregnant women because they aren't always sure. Bizzare British awkwardness

I think you find a cross section of people on the tube like you do anywhere else in life really. I am early on in my second pregnancy and generally relying on the Baby on Board badge as I am just feeling sooooo sick and faint I really can't stand. However, on days when I'm able to manage ok, I just don't put it on. Every time I have worn it so far I have got a seat. However, 2 days before I went on maternity leave in my last pregnancy with a massive bump and the badge I ended up spending 45 minutes sitting on the floor of the train as everyone ignored me and it was standing room only. On the flip side, the next day a man went down the carriage and found a seat for me - swings and roundabouts I guess and I won't be afraid to ask this time!