Any London commuters about?

[GingerDoodle]

Hi ladies

Just wondering if there way anyone else here who commutes into London and how you were finding it?

GD

Um, Pickle, I agree with you... and I wasn't even in the best of health at times.
I think there is a certain amount of princessy treatment when one is pregnant (and that's quite addictive, let us admit).
Of course, of course if you are in bad health then that is entirely different. But I for one didn't need a seat at a few months in and found those badges just odd (aside from women very far into their pgs but who have very small bumps but the same level of tired-ness). In fact, thinking back on it, I'm not even sure they would make that much difference.
I remember standing on a train at 9 months - even if I had a badge there was no way I could sit down since the train was rammed (and this despite a lovely, now I think on it, childless woman ;) demanding people shift for me (much to my protestations). Still, I hated being pregnant, and I hate commuting, so I do wish every pregnant commuter much luck.

I found it ok to be honest. I used tube and overground. Most journeys I was given a seat by other kind passengers. Most people were lovely. Always a nutter or a nasty but hey its London, whaddya want???

PickleSarnie: Oh yawn, controversial you ain't babe as you rightly say. The badge does not say give me a seat. It says MIND THE BUMP. IE be aware during your rush doing your very important business that there is an extra more precious passenger that needs room so don't bash it with rucksacks, squash it, or smash into it. It just wakens people up to the fact you are carrying something that cannot be seen and to be aware. Thats all.

I dislike the 'entitlement' line that always pops up on these threads. (Yes, some people who are arseholes continue to be arseholes when pregnant and expect the moon on a stick but...)

...I didn't feel any sense of entitlement in wanting a seat. I did feel shooting pain in my back and legs from 30 weeks if I had to stand for longer than ten minutes, along with feeling very faint and often quite sick.

Aside from the fact that it's just rude not to offer your seat to someone who might need it more than you, those priority seats on trains are there for good reason.

My reason for needing a seat wasn't physical pain or nausea (although my morning sickness with DD2 lasted all day, every day for the full 9 months), it was balance! During both my pregnancies, my balance was shot to hell and I was always scared of falling over and squishing the baby - especially on a bus or train lurching around all over the place.

Ok try this for size - I used to walk around with my new born baby in a cross-body sling and you really cldn't see a baby so people would bash into us (I think they thought she was a bag). So, yes, I take LaC's point, those badges are great for alerting people not to bash into you.

Is it possible to change your hours slightly too - so you don't go at the rush hour? I managed to do that - though I agree it was still hideous. Biking is much better, or at least for as long as you can manage it...

I'm still commuting into the west end from North London at 36 weeks. Thankfully I've been able to go in after 9am most days so miss the worst of it in the mornings - although the evenings are still hellishly busy.

I got a baby on board badge by emailing [email protected], they sent it out very quickly but to be honest Ive never felt that I've needed a seat so I don't wear it and haven't asked for a seat. It's always in my handbag though incase I feel rubbish.

On the whole I've found people, especially teens quick to offer a seat, especially as I'm now the size of a house!

Btw, I've got a spare badge so if anyone has been unable to get one then send me a message and I'll post it to you.

I'm nearly 35 weeks and am commuting by tube still (northern line, lucky me). I had really bad morning sickness until 29 weeks and now am huge and uncomfortable. I do feel more entitled (if that's the right word) to a seat than a small fit person because I get back ache, leg ache, feel nauseous, tired, hot and squashed if I have to stand up for too long. I'm also tired at the end of the day/week.

I'm lucky in that I can come in a bit later, but there's still no guarantee of a seat. Mostly people stand up for me. I'm not too good at asking, but the badge does help. alot of people are pretty rude. Today an older woman offered to stand for me, and all the young people studiously ignored me/became very sleepy.

Last pregnancy I commuted overland and it was fine - I was allowed to sit in first class if the rest of the train was full.

No garliccheese, its my second. So no need to tell me to "wait until your 8months pregnant" or whatever. I know what its like to commute to 38 weeks in the height if summer. It's shit, it's a boiling, people are rude and they barge into you and they don't give you seats.

I never said that pregnant people don't deserve seats. I said that I know I'm lucky to feel physically fine. All I'm saying is that just because you're pregnant it doesn't mean you necessarily need a seat. Fine, if you're in pain or unwell. You are perfectly entitled to those priority seats. That's what they are there for.

You can also get a "Baby on Board" badge by e-mailing [email protected] - I thought they'd want some evidence, but I just told them my due date and address and they posted it out to me. I don't normally have trouble getting a seat as I don't travel at rush hour, but it's been handy a couple of times, especially as at 21 weeks I still just look fat! Getting up is starting to be a bit more difficult, so I appreciate being next to one of the poles, which of course the priority seats are.

What it's really good for is not being asked to move when someone else needs a seat, which I often was when commuting pre-preg; not that I minded when they clearly needed it, but I did notice that people tended to ask me over men of whatever age - less threatening, I suppose.

Oh, and LaC, please don't call me babe. It makes my skin crawl.

I don't even know if it's about a physical capability to stand...it's more that at rush hour, the tube is packed and people push and jostle for position getting on and off. Some stations I find quite frightening, like Victoria and from Embankment to Victoria it's just full of people pushing and shoving each other on the train. I'd rather not have my bump - when it comes - be on the receiving end of any potential pushing/shoving.

Oooh a prickly pickle!

I must be a total princess then, as I expect the world to move out of the way for my bump! . People are so kind sometimes, leaping out of their seats almost apologectically that I would feel like an ungrateful arse to decline. Besides I spent four months feeling like crap and I've got piles from cooking the next generation so you in the prority seat, OUT! And if you don't like it go and have a long chat with your mum about what she went through giving birth to you!! :) :)

I've never heard of the baby on board badges. What a good idea! For me, the first 12 weeks are the hardest, when I am tired and sick but nobody can actually tell that I'm pregnant.

LordyLady, I do agree about it feeling rude to decline when somebody offers you a seat. When hugely pregnant with DS1, and fortunately feeling fine that day, I was offered a seat on the bus by a really elderly man who was far less able to stand than me. I felt terrible taking it, but he absolutely insisted!

I'm only just over 10 weeks and I've armed myself with hard boiled sweets, mints & sick bags - seriously! There's not a chance in hell I'd use SouthEastern toilets (I commute 5 hours a day on Mainline) to throw up in, I'd catch some kind of disease!

Luckily I've got extreme nausea but no chunder here...yet!

Don't know what I'll do when I get bigger but I'm sure I'll cope - we women have to!!

In all seriousness though - especially as this is getting a bit heated - sometimes we all need a bit of a break and if people would just be a bit kinder to each others needs then London might be a bit more pleasant at times. When it comes down to it most people in my experience are kind and helpful if you just ask. Nicely! I've realised that I haven't exactly been the bastion of understanding before I was preggers . Get out of the city and you suddenly have lots of lovely nanas and mums to coo over you a bit!

Agree bettybat - its the pushing and shoving that makes things difficult. Although now at 36 weeks am carrying so much extra weight that I do appreciate the seat. Think there is a time - second trimester I guess - when it is a luxury, but I figure have spent most of the last 20 years giving up my seat for people who needed it, so now it's my turn.

Stokey- agreed! Would have had no problem giving up my seat before I was pregnant so really don't see the big deal! (would still stand up for an elderly lady which also doesn't happen in my train!) this train ignorance is purely a London thing im sure, it wouldn't happen in the north I tell thee!

I have a Baby on Board badge and like aliphil says I probably find it most useful for 'justifying' (if that's the right way to put it) why I'm sitting on a priority seat. I made a point of not sitting there before I was pregnant but don't mind doing so now if I feel the need. I tried to offer my seat to a very elderly lady last week who was having difficulty pushing her trolley around and she was having none of it bless her!

I've also sent off for an upgrade pass from South West Trains for the commute into London, where they allow you to sit in first class if there are no available standard class seats. I'm having to avoid certain trains at the most convenient times at the moment so am looking forward to the option - I'm certainly not going to make a beeline for first class but on certain trains it's often standing in the vestibule room only which makes me feel really unwell!

I don't feel automatically entitled to a seat; if I feel fine then I'm happy to stand but on the days where I'm not feeling so great I really appreciate being offered. I'm not the most confident of people so I can get quite embarrassed if I have to ask someone!

Baby (my first) is due in August and I'm planning on finishing the second week of July as I want to get as far away from London as possible before it gets too hot and Olympified!

I have a friend who is 39 weeks and she's had no luck finding a seat. She's small prior to being pregnant and her bump is, relative to her size, v big. Must find out about getting her a badge. Provided baby doesn't arrive in the next couple of days!

I didn't always need a seat when I was pregnant but if you're young and healthy and you see a 35 weeks pg woman, wouldn't you offer just in case? I also got crushed and bashed a few times in rush hour (which lasts 3 hours on my route home so no changing work hours). A society where people begrudge a pregnant woman a seat is a very sad and depressing one IMO

Agreed Conchita. Bl**dy hell, is it that hard to just show a few manners and be nice to each other regardless of what we need or don't need?! We're pregnant for god's sake! Poor little bab can't say get your elbow out of my face can it?!

PS - I have a spare badge going if anyone wants it - horrified to hear they're not making them anymore! Any takers drop me a message :)