Opinions please - DH and I having a disagreement

[Plunkett]

Hi all
Sorry long post.
I was wondering if I could ask your opinions and what you would do in my situtation as DH and I are disagreeing.
I found out I was preg 3 weeks ago - it was a bit of a shock! Sorry if TMI - DH and I had 'mishap' with protection about 5 weeks ago was only time so figuring this must have been date I conceived. This would fit with symptoms (swollen boobs, sickness started just over 3 weeks ago) which would make me about 7 weeks. However last period i can remember was in Jan which would make me 10 weeks, if I had another one after this then that would make me 6wks. Did CB test when I found out which stated I was 5+ weeks so unlikely to be the latter dates.
The midwifes in our area are at the local Surestart centre and can only speak to them with an appointment otherwise just general receptionist. So the earliest appointment I could get was Mid April (this was when they phoned back with a cancellation prior to this it was end April) and apparently theres a 3/4 week wait for scan following this appointment.
Because this seems ages away i've booked in for a private scan to check my dates (plus selfishly we have a long awaited holiday booked in summer and I want to amend if past flying dates). Anyway, today a friend has stated that you have to have scan around 12 weeks for certain tests and if unsure of dates should demand earlier appointment. DH thinks I should do this but I feel we should go to private scan to get dates first, I know they can't do the medical parts of the scan but if i'm not far gone I can still wait and have them later.
I don't want to feel like i'm 'jumping the system' and as crazy as i'm sending myself I know every other M2B is the same in the first few weeks till their scan and it seems unfair to by pass them. I figure if we go fri and i'm further along then I would be justified in asking for a sooner date.

Sorry for the long post :)

Congratulations! If you did pg test 3 weeks ago and was 5+ I'd say your 10 weeks pg not 6 weeks. I would go to private scan and if you are further along then contact gp for them to fast track you.

I would pay for the private scan if I were you. I was also really confused as to my dates, I thought I was 8w pregnant when we found out because of a similar mishap, and I was nagging DP to let me get a private scan. Fortunately our doctors were very quick and I had a scan within a few weeks - only to find out I was only 8w pregnant then . Kind of embarrassing at the hospital but they said they have seen it plenty of times before! So if you can afford a private scan, given how much confusion you have over dates, I would get one. Then you will definitely know whether to push for a scan at the right time.

Oh, and congrats!!

well personally i would go and see your GP an explain that you are unsure of dates and ask to be referred for a dating scan so you can ensure that you have the nuchal scan at the right time

seems silly to pay for something you are entitled to get free.

or call the surestart centre and explain and see if a midwife can ring you back,
OR call your local EPU and see if you can self refer

Thanks ladies, both for advice and congratulations :o
I'm going to go for the private scan, then decide what to do about the rest. I think if I know my dates it'll calm my nerves about the whole thing (in reality i'll prob find something else to worry about lol).

i would say that if you found out 3 weeks ago and got a +5 you would have been 7 weeks as you have to add 2 weeks on to a cbd as the weeks are a conception indicator and your pg would be dated from your last period normally 2 weeks before, symptoms don't usually start immediately so that could explain that, i would say your now approx 10 weeks and if you can i would cancel the private scan and go see the Dr, i would explain you can't recall last period date but tell them when tested and what the cbd said, they will then arrange the dating scan possibly around the 12/13 week mark, if its too early then you'll be offered another if you get the nuchal scan, fwiw im sure there's lots more you could spend the £80ish on maybe a 4d scan later on congratulations on your pregnancy x

Just to let you know that I missed the first scan at 12 weeks, hospital was fully booked and i was too stupid, did not know about private scan, i am not from the UK.... So no NT but there is another test around 16 weeks, the quadri test, that can give you the Down's syndrom risk level as well. So don't worry too much.

You may not qualify for a nuchal test on the NHS anyway. My LHA doesn't offer them to lo-risk women routinely, so you have to book privately for that. It can be done between 11 and 13 weeks, IIRC. I had private nuchal scans for each of my DCs at the NHS hospital, and they combined the NT results with the blood test results to give the best risk assessment.

Congratulations and good luck!

from april all lha should be offering the nuchal scan to all pregnant women regardelss of age apparently!

i would do as thisisyesterday said and say you are unsure of dates and could be as much as 10wks preg and i am pretty sure they will squeeze you in, they did with me as i didnt do a test till 10wks preg with ds and then saw the dr a few days later and they had me in for a scan within a week.

the hospital prefer to do the dating scan at a certain stage not only for the nuchal but also as its slightly easier for them to date the pregnancy (its still not that accurate!) but they will aslo check basic things ie limbs, heart etc.

oh i agree if i was going to pay for a private scan i would do it later for a 3d/4d one tho i DID pay for nuchal scans as i was too young to get them, but that guildline has/is changing in the next month.

OK, thanks for correcting my misinformation, 5madthings. Now that DD3 is 3yo, I really should stay out of the pregnancy topic!

no i only found that out today on mnet! so you learn something new all the time!

its about time i think, i had to pay for mine as i am 33 (have 5 children) and with my dd if i had got preg a few months later i would have got it for free, so its good it is being rolled out as standard care, obviously you can still decline it if you want to.

but we paid nearly £150 to have it with dd, it had gone up from £130 when we had ds4, that is a lot of money!! that did include the bloods as well tho as you want the combined test, scan adn bloods for most accurate results, i am not sure if the scan that is now to be universal includes the blood tests as well?

Hi ladies
Thank you for all the advice, tried phoning doc's yesterday who told me it's all done through Surestart centre and couldn't help!!!! Had no luck contacting the centre by phone so have popped in this morning and spoke to a lovely lady on reception who is going to get the midwife to call when she's free today.

The private scan's here are not too bad - 2 local places charge £45 - £50 but your right there are other things I could spend it on (like shoes :)). I've got an appointment booked for this eve but hopefully Midwife will call soon and I can cancel if can get an earlier appointment.
Thanks again

i wouldn't have asked the surgeryh, i#d have just got an appt to see the doctor.

the doctor most certainly CAN refer you for a dating scan. this is quite routine- lots of people need them due to not knowing their dates.

it sounds like maternity services are not very accessible in your area OP... hope you hear from the midwife soon

Hi it's not!!
Spoke to Midwife - stated that there was no appointments to be seen quicker and that even if 10wks i'll still be seen within dates. She suggested going for the private scan and approved of the place we've booked at.
I was more upset as I mentioned holiday and she said she wouldn't go. We booked it over a yr ago and have paid for most of it!

i guess if you see them for an appointment in a couple of weeks they'll fast-track your scan- it may well not be the 3-4 week wait you have been led to believe?
seems ridiculous not to just refer you for a dating scan though