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Original poster

Choosing not to breast feed

61 replies

olympicnic · 07/02/2012 15:01

Hi

I am new to Mumsnet but really wanted to get some advice. I am 24 weeks pg and have decided not to breast feed. I've made this decision because its what I feel will be best for me, my husband and baby and because I have an active job which I'll have to return to quickly after the baby is born.

I am worried about what the MW's will say to me when I tell them of my decision as I have heard stories of them being forceful, refusing to give information etc... does anyone have any experience of this?

Also... I know that I'll have to take my own formula, bottles etc into hospital but everything you read says that after the birth baby is encouraged to feed/latch on. Does this mean that I should be giving him/her a bottle straight after giving birth?? Will I be given help to prepare it?

Any experience/advice is very gratefully recieved as I am sure you'll have already guessed but this is my first baby and I am more than a little scared!

OP posts:
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milk · 07/02/2012 15:06

I'm sorry I have no advice on this, but I know my sister-in-law never breastfed her 3 children and straight away gave them a bottle.

NatashaBee · 07/02/2012 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kendodd · 07/02/2012 15:14

Maybe you could take cartons of FM with you, then you don't have to worry about mixing it, if they make it for new borns? Yes, here

For what it's worth, I would try to at least give them the colostrum, first few days BM, it is so much better for them than FM.

LikeItsGolden · 07/02/2012 15:18

You dont have to breastfeed and if you make your wishes known to the MWs, they will help you prepare a bottle (or you can bring in ready-made cartons of formula).

I agree with the previous poster though. I only gave my second child a few days of the breast for the colostrum (amazing stuff! I used formula for every other feed for 3 or 4 days, then switched to formula completely). It is a nice thing to do for you and your baby and no hassle really.

ShagOBite · 07/02/2012 15:21

Have you considered just feeding for the first few days?

ShagOBite · 07/02/2012 15:22

oh sorry x posts

lisaro · 07/02/2012 15:24

I did but I think if you're not happy with doing it then it's totally the right decision for you. Just say, firmly, 'It's NOT up for discussion'. I shouldn't think they'd try to stress you by pushing, though. Good luck with the baby.

Southsearocks · 07/02/2012 15:25

I wasn't able to breast feed and DS was formula fed from the off, but I do agree that if you can express the colostrum it is evidently very very good for the baby and personally it helped me to feel that I was doing as much as I could at that time. Also agree that the ready made bottles are great to start with until you can get your head around all the paraphanalia that goes with formula feeding. Good luck!

Indith · 07/02/2012 15:26

A MW's job is to provide you with information so that you can make an informed choice and to support you in whatever decision you make. No MW should be forcing you to do anything. However, there is a lot of emphasis on improving bf rates so you might have to remind people that you are not intending to bf.

Don't worry about when to feed. Once the baby is born enjoy the skin to skin time and bond with your baby. You may find the baby seeks to latch on during that time. It is up to you if you go with it and feed the baby colostrum or not. You don't have to make that decision ahead of time.

Check with your hospital about formula provision. It is generally the case these days that formula is only provided if needed (emergency or baby refusing to latch on etc). You can buy throw away pre-sterilised bottles and cartons. Some formula companies sell "starter packs" for use in hospital. These things are best to use for hospital because you are unlikely to have the facilities to sterilise and to make up feeds when you need them. Plus you will be getting to know your baby and recognising feeding cues so it will be much easier to have something ready made to give when the baby needs it. Once you are home and a bit more confident in your timings (and have access to steriliser etc) you can use powdered formula and make up feeds fresh.

notso · 07/02/2012 15:33

All my friends who have chosen to FF have had no problems from the Midwives, in fact as a BFing Mum I seemed to receive less help.

Our hospital give free formula in ready-made bottles with sterile teats and I have also seen them doing demonstrations of how to make up a bottle and how to sterilise on the ward.

Bunbaker · 07/02/2012 15:34

This is going to turn into a bunfight. You have been warned.

A good midwife will provide you with all the information you need so that you can make an informed decision. Please don't be hasty in what you decide until you have all the facts.

Cutelittlecatlover · 07/02/2012 15:36

I bf but was never pressured, a short while after ds was born the mw asked if I was giving him breast or bottle and it was totally my decision so don't assume anyone will try to force you Smile

bonzo77 · 07/02/2012 15:47

I FF. I made a half hearted attempt at BF, but my heart was not in it, and DS was soo sleepy and soo tiny that I was stressed about him not feeding. The hospital provided disposable bottles and formula, I never had a moments pressure about it from anyone. The home visiting MW asked me if I was breast feeding, and I said no. She gave me some advice on how to deal with when the milk came in properly. I think you will get more pressure opinions on here than anywhere else. However, as a non BFer I'd remind you that once you decide to FF there is no going back, once your milk has gone, it's gone. You might just take to it and find it really works for you, even if just for a few hours, days or weeks. Don't make your decision just yet, because from what I have seen, if BF works for you it really is much easier and cheaper than FF (i'm obviously not going to go into any other pros or cons).

YuleingFanjo · 07/02/2012 15:59

take something you don't need to prepare then when you get home if you start using the powdered formula just make sure you do it the safe way by using cooled (to 70 degrees) boiled water. No one can force you and in my experience there is no pressure (or much help) to breastfeed in hospitals so you will be fine.

It always amazes me that people think Midwives pressure people to breastfeed when in my experience the reality is that they seem unable to offer that much help,

buonasera · 07/02/2012 16:20

I'm intending to FF and my MW hasn't pushed BF at all - having said that I notice there is a page in my notes about the advantages of BF that she has to read me and I have to sign off. She's been very down to earth with it and mentioned expressing colostrum, which I'm keen to do. And we were told in our antenatal classes that the hospital carries everything that's needed for FF so we don't need to take it in.

Have they said you need to take in bottles etc? It's worth checking if they haven't mentioned - it probably says somewhere in the maternity notes.

I get the impression that some midwives (not all) just like to thwart the wishes of anyone in their care! If you want to BF they'll undermine you and say the baby's not going to gain weight; if you've opted for FF they'll give you earache about how much better your own milk is for the baby...

Gasbluewithlavenderbeads · 07/02/2012 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrankiDon182 · 07/02/2012 16:42

I used the pre-made glass formula bottles for hospital. You get a pack of 12 for around £15 and can get them from any big supermarket. Seems expensive but, should do you for hospital stay and then you would presumbly swap to formula when home? They are pre-sterilised and premade so you literally just have to open the jar, open the teat and pop them on. You can use that milk for 2hrs+ but, once that time has passed you need to make baby new milk ! I ran the jar under a tap/ left in jug of warm water just to heat it up slightly but, it is safe to give at jar temp!

I decided i didnt want to breastfeed from the off, a midwife said to me that she was impressed with all the research i had done (she was looking at my birth plan) but, i had let her down with the artificial feeding!
That was the only negative comment i received from midwife so dont be too worried :) I knew it was not right for me, the thought of feeding a baby from my body made me feel very anxious (i did not actually ever produce any milk- ever. No leaking at all, iam 33w preg now and have no signs of milk/sore boobs this time round!)
I do not regret my decision, my son was taking 4 ounzes every 4 hours from birth and is a perfectly happy, healthy child. And now at 21 months has the largest appetite i've ever seen!!!! I gave him his first bottle after about 45 minutes of him being born (no one told me when to or even asked if i had fed him !!!) but he latched straight on to the bottle and drank immediantely. It is actually one of my most precious memories!!

Good luck and dont stress!!!

Original poster
olympicnic · 07/02/2012 17:20

Thank you all so much for your replies - I feel much better having read them.
As yet the MW hasnt asked me about BF, my Gp did when I first told him i was pg and he told me that he hadnt ever been bf and didnt see any problems with my decision. I work in the healthcare service and have spent a lot of time research the benefits of both as well as speaking to friends/family who have bf, ff and combined fed so don't think I am rushing into making a decision. I will certainly speak to the MW in more detail in the next few weeks as most of you have advised.

Thank you again.... its nice to know that mums net is out there to help me with my concerns!

OP posts:
LikeAnAdventCandleButNotQuite · 07/02/2012 17:30

I formula feed. I tried BF in the hospital, but it did not suit me, or the baby, when I came home.

My MW, Health Visitor and Doctor all know I FF and I have not even had one of them say a word against what Im doing, or felt judged by them at all.

I'm not sure what happens at hospital with regards FF as I attempted BF there, but my SIL knew she was going to FF and didn't take any food in for baby, she was given little pre-prepared bottles each time the baby needed/wanted a feed. No need for them to be heated, or sterilised, they were one-use type things.

I was wondering today why my MW/HV/Doc haven;t tried to disuade me from FF, and I rekon it's because they know less about BF and how to support mums, so by FF I am actually an 'easier patient' for them. Not that that makes it right, and it may not be true, but it's something I thought may be the case.

Fwiw, my LO drinks all her feeds at room temperature. I have never warmed a bottle for her. It doesn;t make it any more nutritous and is very practical.

SparkySparrow · 07/02/2012 17:31

I decided not to bf . They gave me a glass bottle with a sterilised teat for his first few feeds. I bought cartons in with me and some bottle which I used after.
If its right for you then do it. I had my own reasons for ff I had one funny look off a midwife but the rest of them were kind.

I made my decision after alot of thought and talked it through with loads of people. I feel I made the best choice for me. I had a strong healthy happy baby and to be honest it made life that little bit easier in the first few weeks as dh was able to help with night feeds etc.

Good luck with everything! :)

MotherPanda · 07/02/2012 17:38

I believe most hospitals won't supply formula/bottles etc now so make sure you bring your own bottles/ cartons of milk! It's worth asking your hospital what their policy is.

Another shout out for colostrum though, it's liquid gold.

igggi · 07/02/2012 17:42

If you go with the advice of many posters on here and give your baby the benefit of the colostrum (which certainly doesn't mean you have to keep bf after that!) then you won't need any bottles in hospital I think - unless you have a section and end up staying in longer.

blacktreaclecat · 07/02/2012 17:42

I don't really fancy bf at all. Never have.
I do think there is pressure to bf though- from mw and from friends/ other mums. My plan is to try to give colostrum and then possibly to mix feed or feed a few expressed bottles as well as formula and then gradually decrease the bf and increase the formula. I can't be bothered with the pressure of having to explain that I don't fancy bf. I think saying we started with bf but it wasn't for us is easier. Also I do like the idea of baby getting some colostrum as that is the most important bit.