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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

am i mad to want baby number 7 ??

105 replies

gemcgem · 20/01/2012 09:36

hi im a mum to 6 want to be mummy to 7 !
my DH works full time , we own our own home , and have been married for 11 years in june .
BUT all mine and his family have TOLD us "dont you dare have any more"
but i really want another baby , i just love been pregnant , giving birth and breast feeding .
we dont ask for any help off any one , i can count on one hand how many times we've been out on our own in the last 11 years . should we listen to every body else or go with OUR hearts ??
i just dont want people to reject our baby , and im scared of how many " OH NO'S" we'll get instead of congrates .

what would you do ??

OP posts:

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Original poster

gemcgem · 20/01/2012 10:53

my husband has a very safe job . and our house is big enough and the car is too, room for one more little one .

OP posts:

QuickLookBusy · 20/01/2012 10:55

Well OP I wouldn't worry about their opinions then!

Just do what is best for your family.

I personally stopped at 2 after I had an eptopic 3rd pregnancy. It was very scary and I didn't want to push my luck again.

Dirtydishesmakemesad · 20/01/2012 10:56

belgo she already has 6 so its a bit late to be worrying abotu car size etc. I cant personally see myself having any more after this one the main reason being the pregnancy and the fact i want to finish with that stage.

QuickLookBusy · 20/01/2012 10:57

Sorry that last post was in response to your family saying "don't have another one"

ShirleyForAllSeasons · 20/01/2012 10:58

I'd be worried about University costs! OMG!

I'm pooping myself about paying for my two, let alone 7.

BeattieBow · 20/01/2012 10:58

I think you need to get one child to teenage years first and then think about whether you want another one. ime they are much more demanding at this stage, and it's stressful, and they need you more. I really think you can't underestimate the amount of time and energy teenagers take.

you seem to be focusing on a new baby but this will become a child with very different needs and so will all the others as they grow up.

and by the way I'm pg with no6 so I'm not against large families, but it gets more difficult as they get older in my experience.

Original poster

gemcgem · 20/01/2012 11:03

as i said in a early post , i totally understand it gets harder not easier as they get older , i say bring it on i carnt wait to see the adults they'll all become.

OP posts:

pictish · 20/01/2012 11:04

Yes you are bonkers!
Go for it anyway if it's what you want. xxx

Original poster

gemcgem · 20/01/2012 11:05

gemcgem Fri 20-Jan-12 10:30:50

great maths Theas18, yep my eldist is 11 next month , then 9, 7, 5 ,3 nearly 4 , and 18 months ,. its one now or 2 in 5 years time , (i think they would need a play mate) and i totally understand teenagers need more support than newborns , i had a real tough time as teenager , so i will defo not be repeating mistakes there ! and have allways said when my children have grown id love to foster teenagers , i think they get a really bad ride sometimes , and some times all they need is a good cuddle i allways hug and kiss my children and tell them i love them more times than i count in one day .

OP posts:

belgo · 20/01/2012 11:11

Yes but no matter how many times you hug your children in a day, the point that other posters are trying to make, is that you have not yet experienced life with one teenage child, let alone six or seven.

I just think it's possible that your relatives are more realistic about the realities of being responsible for seven children, and maybe you should listen to them. There are no guarantees in life, no matter how safe you think your dh's job is.

Juule · 20/01/2012 11:13

"i had a real tough time as teenager , so i will defo not be repeating mistakes there"

The problem with this is that whatever the difficulties you experienced as a teen may be completely different to those experienced by your own teens. You can't predict what types of difficulties your own teens will have. Which can make life difficult while you wrangle with ways to work with/through them. Times that by however many are teens at the same time and life gets very hectic.

Not trying to put you off (not that you will be if it's what you really want). Just pointing out that the unexpected is potentially always just around the corner with children.

Original poster

gemcgem · 20/01/2012 11:13

of course iv exprinced a teenager , i was one and a bad one , im not blind to how hard it will be , there was 3 of us with 3 years between us we fought like cat and dog , but now where the best of mates .

OP posts:

Juule · 20/01/2012 11:15

You haven't experienced a teenager that you are responsible for.

ShirleyForAllSeasons · 20/01/2012 11:18

But couldn't we all say that about every stage? "I've experienced a newborn, I was one!" it doesn't work that way.

Ah well, I think you'll probably do what you want, and that's entirely your choice, of course, but I wonder what'll happen after number 7.

None of my business, but I can sort of understand where your families' are coming from - maybe give it a rest for a little while and then decide?

Original poster

gemcgem · 20/01/2012 11:24

thanks for all the "normal" peoples in sight im guessing im not ("normal") if i really thought this would inpact badley , i wouldn't if consider it . my children are all well rounded , and i do worry that i may be pushing my luck , but we life live once and as i person am i also allowed to be happy ?? now if my kids sald stop then i would but they'd all welcome a new baby and are very proud to be from a big family . i dont soppse you can ever please evry body all of the time.

OP posts:

himynameisfred · 20/01/2012 11:25

I think it's unreasonable to have babies just because you enjoy them in the first 2 years while breastfeeding etc.

Have you thought about how available you'll be to them when they're teenagers and may need more support?

Do you think they'll be taking on too much responsibility for their younger siblings rather than enjoying their own childhood?

Original poster

gemcgem · 20/01/2012 11:27

himynameisfred maybe my opening story wasnt very clear , i DEFO do not just enjoy the frist 2 years , if you'd like to read my other posts maybe that would help answer your questions .

OP posts:

BeattieBow · 20/01/2012 11:31

I think OP that you've made your mind up, so I really can't understand why you are asking us whether we think you're mad. I don't think you're mad btw, I just think you should wait a few years. Everyone else on this thread has made similar comments. Your families think you shouldn't have more either.

but as you've already decided, do what you want to do. and good luck!

belgo · 20/01/2012 11:31

'as i person am i also allowed to be happy ?? '

are you really saying you are not happy with having only six children?

And if you really are not happy with just 6 children, do you really think your own wants and desires should come first?

I think it's perfectly normal to want 7 children, we are programmed to reproduce, which is why the baby stage is so cute. But for most of us, at some point, our heads overrules our hearts.

You sound a little naïve in some of your posts, if you really think that the fact that you were once a teenager, means that you have experience being responsible for six teenagers.

You also appear to be contradicting yourself, because you are very clear in your first post that you love being pregnant and breastfeeding.

himynameisfred · 20/01/2012 11:32

I think you've been incredibly lucky so far and may be trying your luck.

I take it your children are all healthy.
If you had a disabled child they could be the same work as another 5 children, then would you cope?
Your other children would not get much attention from you then would they?

If a child needed 24 hour care, who would step in to take over with the care of the others?

I have a child with 'issues' who screams kicks and goes crazy from 4-6am quite often. And I have a toddler and am pregnant.
I hope I will cope,
but if you have twice as much work as me, I don't know how you or any person could do it!

largeginandtonic · 20/01/2012 11:34

Hmmm i just had no.8. It is not really much harder having another baby but as the big ones are now hitting teen years the juggling and worrying is changing.

The teens are now all about their mates and ipod/ipad, listening is a major issue I see it getting much worse. They are around to babysit though and that helps enormously.

We don't have any family close really, dh folks are an hour and a half away. They will help if called upon but tbh i hate asking for help. We just get on with it.

I have stopped now. I had a major PPH after the last baby (5 weeks ago) and it scared the bejesus out of me and especially dh. I couldn't risk another pregnancy.

I think you obviously cope well with the 6 you have and no.7 would probably fit right in. Be prepared for things to change quite dramatically in the next few years though. Doesn't mean you shouldn't have any more.

Original poster

gemcgem · 20/01/2012 11:36

i just like to put these things out there , and see what people think of these , "bigger families " i too think should i wait , but then think i have all the stuff here allready and wanted my children close together to grow up together , im not getting any younger and think all the time my eggs arent getting younger either , i allways want 7 children , and i know if i leave a bigger age gap than baby number 7 would need a playmate too . thankyou for your honest opinions , i did ask .

OP posts:

himynameisfred · 20/01/2012 11:37

yeah, another probably would be okay, if you assume they'll be perfectly healthy with no mental or physical disability.
You'd have to completely count on them being 'normal and perfect' for the sake of all of your survival!

Original poster

gemcgem · 20/01/2012 11:39

thankyou largeginandtonic ! its nice to here from other large family mums . i did too have a large bleed after baby number 5 but everything was fine with 6 .

OP posts:

largeginandtonic · 20/01/2012 11:41

HimynameisFred one of my daughters has a chromosomal abnormality and has some fairly major special needs. We still cope ok with it. Just as you do with your family.

I read this today

It's all relative how we cope with life.

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