I have just joined the site and quite scared to post this due to some of the comments I have read. Please be GENTLE!! I am 33 years old and have just found out I am pregnant, I am around 4 weeks. This has come as a huge shock and completed unplanned, my partner and I have been together for four years and due to many reasons we are separating. I am in the process of moving out of our home and starting again with very little. I know this is the right thing to do however hard it is. However I found out I was pregnant a week ago, I am scared, shocked and not sure what to do. I have a son who is 18 next year (yes i was a very young mum) I am in almost the same situation on my own, no family and little savings. I am currently not working due to mental health problems. I have always wanted another baby and the thought of never having another makes me very sad. I had very different ideas in my head how this would happen, I imagined myself to be happy and settled with a partner, my mental health improved and back at work, not taking medication (currently on 225mg venlafaxine), having stopped smoking (yes I am a smoker desparately trying to stop, which I am finding very hard), having money in the bank etc. This is not the situation I am in totally the opposite. I have spent the last week researching and reading every piece of information I can find to help me come to a decision. I want what is best for the baby, it has been suggested by many that the best course of action would be for me to have a termination. The thought of this breaks my heart, and I am now on here sharing my story with strangers due to feeling so alone and having no one to turn to. That in itself makes me feel vulnerable.
Emotionally, physically I am not in a strong position. I have been allocated a council house which needs decorated, carpeted etc and I don't have much let alone able to provide everything a baby will need. Am I being selfish in even considering keeping the baby? The father of the child who is a good man, just not good for me and can't make me happy feels we should stay together for the baby's sake (this is not an option, I did this for 15 years for my first son thinking it was best) if we are not together he feels the best thing to do is have an abortion for mysake and the babys.
Since finding out I am pregnant I have contacted my G.P, my pyschiatrist, all info on the net, books and studies with available data on medication effects.
The G.P has given me 2 weeks to think about what I am going to do. he has cut my medication to 150mg to which I am having withdrawal night sweats, dizzy spells, headaches etc. Do I return to 225mg?
The info available is confusing on the venlafaxine, contradicts itself.
I was informed a home birth would be out of the question and not permitted due to the baby going to suffer withdrawal from the meds and breast feeding would not be allowed. I had a terrible time having my son I was 15 years old and wasw treated very badly in the hospital, I wanted (if safe of course) to have a home birth the next time I had a baby.
I did not breastfeed my son and wished to try and breastfeed any other babies I had.
I am a smoker and told my G.P how worried I am about this, I have cut down and feel guilt for each cigarette I smoke, the more stressed and worried I get the more I want to reach for a cigarette. The G.P said he would not recommend nicotine patches and I was just to cut down. I will struggle going cold turkey and before anyone berates me there is no need I know I should not be having any cigarettes.
I will blame myself if there is anything wrong with the baby (I was smoking like a lum until I found out I was pregnant) my son has packed his job in, the relationship ending etc I was under a lot of stress.
This pregnancy is completely unplanned and I am overwhelmed by it all and everything else that is going on.
I know only I can decide what I am going to do, and no one can make this decision for me. If there are any mums on here who have anything in common with my situation I would be so grateful for any advice you are willing and have the time share.
I am sure there will be some negative comments to my post, honestly there is no need, you can not make me feel any worse than I already do. I am crying a lot and not sleeping, I wish this had not happened and can not believe I have fallen pregnant after all these years and never fell pregnant before. I only wish the best for the baby it is after all blameless and innocent in all of this.
If you have taken the time to read this post thank you.