Perineum massage....... HOW??

[tinky19]

Well, I mean i know how but how on earth do you reach?
DH is refusing to help, thinks its wierd and doesn't want to touch my bits in a medical way! [hhmm] (Mind you having seen them in a mirror in my attempt to perform said massage I can't say I blame him! [hgrin])
I'm so huge! I'm 34 weeks but people keep asking how long then looking really shocked when I say another 6 weeks (one woman even said 'oh gosh, that long because you're really huge now aren't you!')

Stand with one leg up on the loo? That's what I've done.

Nice of your DH - is he going to be your birth partner! He's in for a shock! [hgrin]

Yes he is. This is dc2, ds1 was induced and he was my birth partner but mainly at the head end (mine I mean!) [hgrin]

Maybe he's just panicking, and is trying to put you off from over-sharing. Has it worked?

If you're a December due-dater, do you want to come and join our ante-natal thread? We've been discussing things from perineal massage, right through to how to get DHs/DPs to stop being so crap about supporting us (there have been a few hormone storms recently). Pop yourself on the stats page, and introduce yourself!

I have been having this same dilemma. I have bought the oil stuff and read up about how to do it, which is way more intricate and 'in there' than I thought it would be!!! From the instructions I read it sounds like a full time job!! But when I have a wee these days it's a struggle to wipe as bump is so much in the way!! It just seems like a major effort...then I think well you'll be glad of it if it works...think I might have a proper genuine go at it and not just grunt and snort irritably for a few seconds and then give up...

Glad I'm not the only one who can't reach - I thought I must have been missing something! Partially sitting up seems to help but there's no way I'm doing it for as long as you're meant to, it's physically so difficult that I'm knackered after about 30 seconds!

It also makes my wrists REALLY hurt because of the force needed for the stretching - is that normal??

OK

do you wipe after loo from front or back?? because i wipe from back, i can still reach from behind.

i can't reach to do thumbs method from the front, but i reach round the back and can hook some fingers in from behind (to pull towards bum) - still put foot on edge of bath, then swap feet to use other hand, pulling slightly sideways (with whichever hand) as well as straight back. I do some rubbing and some pulls or stretches that i hold for 30-40 seconds. i use the stopwatch on my watch or phone to do 5 mins which is nothing after a shower.

Ooops, my post makes me sound really belligerent, like I'm refusing to do it for the required time...! I just mean that I do it for as long as I can but have to stop after a while as it's knackering. I think it doesn't help that the reaching part crushes my lungs - might have to try a different position.

Good tip Woodifer I'm going to try that today. I tried the thumb method on Saturday, and...nah. Had to get DH to do it, but he works shifts so I'd rather do it myself and be regular about it.

I remember giving birth to ds1 and the first thing I asked was "did I tear?" the midwife said "No everything looks fine" I replied with "Oh good, because I have no idea where my perineum is so I just generally aimed for that area". Due in less than 5 weeks and haven't bothered with the old gel. Apparently if you don't tear on the first it's unlikely you will on the second. Joys.

Thanks for the tips! I'll try again tonight.
I know what you mean about the crushing lungs outthere, I have to sort of hold my breath.
Fingers crossed for a non tearing labour for all!