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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

At how many weeks did you decide to stay close to home ?

21 replies

MelanieWiggles · 01/10/2011 17:41

Bit of a dilemma - my mum is turning 70 in mid-November when I will be 35 weeks pregnant. My siblings (and I) want to throw her a bit of a party, nothing massive, just immediate family. Problem is my hometown is 3 hours away.

This is my second pregnancy and I had an EMCS last time but am hoping for a VBAC this time round. Hospital has been stressing how important it is to come in reasonably early so am not sure if I should risk travelling or not. I could ask siblings to move the party to where I live (mum would have no problem with this) but would feel bad about it, as if I was shifting the attention to me iykwim.

Would welcome any thoughts !

OP posts:

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addictediam · 01/10/2011 17:46

i think at 35 weeks you'd be fine to travel, but it would be uncomfortable.

if your mum is happy to move the party then i would definatly suggest trying that. but i would say (and i'm no expert) that you should be fine

JarethTheGoblinKing · 01/10/2011 17:49

After 35 weeks, and if I went anywhere I took my notes with me.

Ended up going to 41+3

cece · 01/10/2011 17:52

I drove 200 miles to visit my parents alone when I was nearly 37 weeks pg. It was to help sort out my stuff before they moved house the week after.

Just made sure I took my notes with me.

They have hospitals near where your mother lives don't they?

seeker · 01/10/2011 17:53

Well, as I got stuck in the the snow and ended up spending th night on my own in my car at Clacket lane services at 38+5 I may not be a good person to ask!

seeker · 01/10/2011 17:55

But before this turns into an I climbed Everest at 40 weeks - theybhqv hospitals in Nepal, you know type thread- I would probably ask to move the party to your Howe if that would work. You can sneak awaynto your own bed for a bit if you need to then, too.

seeker · 01/10/2011 17:56

House, not Howe. Bloody IPad!

PattySimcox · 01/10/2011 17:57

Well I was still working til 39 weeks and doing a 90 mile commute depending on which office I was going to. Maybe give the labour ward local to your Mum's party a call to suss them out?

RandomMess · 01/10/2011 17:57

I went out for the day 130 miles away at a week overdue with my 4th (with my other 3 in tow), however they had all needed to be induced so I felt confident there wouldn't be an issue. I just took my notes and tens machine with me just in case - I think my friends who I met up with were more worried than me

I would go, take your notes etc.

Fluter · 02/10/2011 02:57

Haven't been more than an hour's drive from the hospital since about 32/33 weeks. We agonised about going to a family funeral in Surrey when I was 34 weeks (not something you can plan, obviously), but decided pretty quickly that I wouldn't be up to going (even leaving aside the distance from the hospital), and DH decided he didn't want to be 5 hours travel away from me all day.

For me, the 'they have hospitals all over' isn't really an argument - I'm not keen on hospitals at the best of times, I've got to know all the staff through what is technically a high risk pregnancy, and don't really want to be anywhere else. If you have a low risk pregnancy and just see the hospital as a random place where you can go and drop the baby and walk out six hours later, it's different. Although having left one hospital and moved to another early on in the pregnancy, I wouldn't even want to chance that one.

So: I'd ask if you can have the party closer. Even half-way between the two of you?

lollystix · 02/10/2011 07:59

I've refused to visit PILs in England - due in 3 weeks. They are offended as I've joked it's cos I don't want an English baby. I have a set of 3 Scots boys and don't want my 4th to be English (btw my parents are English and spent most of my childhood in england so really not anti-English). MIL was strangely offended. But also for mr I'm a high risk delivery (vbac with some complications) and been seeing consultant throughout. Also got 3 toddlers and work so thought of packing to visit too much. I figure if they want to see us, they can get their retired bottoms up the road to see us.

TryLikingClarity · 02/10/2011 15:50

OP, think about what the weather might be like. The past 2 winters have been harsh (here in Northern Ireland anyway) so think about the possibility that it might be icy.

As for staying close to home, it depends on how comfy you feel, how big your bump is and if you feel ill.

When I was 34 weeks I drove 2 hours from Belfast to Dublin, got a 1 hour plane to Scotland to visit a friend, then came home. Was very uncomfy on a Ryanair flight.... never again with a huge belly!

Is up to you though, but I'm sure your family would understand if you didn't make the trip, or brought it forward a bit.

highheelsandequations · 02/10/2011 20:51

I went to a wedding at 35 weeks that was a 3-4 hour drive away. Took my notes. Most uncomfortable car journey of my life (especially when dying for a wee and no services in sight!) but the wedding was great fun!

Iggly · 02/10/2011 21:03

At 39ish weeks I didn't like being too far from home - mainly because I felt like a beached whale. DS arrived at 40+8

This time around I'll be out more I suspect as have DS to look after!

Hulababy · 02/10/2011 21:07

With DD, at 36 weeks I went to stay with friends over 3 hours away, which was fine. I took my hospital bag, notes and the baby car seat with me just in case. Didn't need it though.

Moved house at 37 weeks but that was local.

On my due date I went to a family meal about an hour;s drive away. Again took my stuff with me, but again not needed.

After that I stayed pretty local though - still ended up being induced at gone 41 weeks though.

edwinbear · 02/10/2011 22:14

At 35 weeks I'd go and not give it a second thought, I doubt I'd even bother taking my notes, but then I had DS at 41+6 after a 30 hr labour so I'm fairly blase about these things. I'd have had time to get back from the other side of the planet the way my last labour went

TheSecondComing · 02/10/2011 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bonkers20 · 02/10/2011 22:27

As someone else said, I'd check out the nearest hosp. to where your Mum is and if you'd be happy to go there should your baby arrive early then I'd def. go.

If, for any reason, you really want to go to your own hosp. then whether you go really depends on your nature. If you're a worry wort then you probably won't enjoy the party, but if you're quite relaxed about it then go for it.

If it wasn't for the VBAC I wouldn't give it a second thought. In the unlikely event of you going into labour early you'd have plenty of time to get to your hosp. It everything happened so quickly that you couldn't get there, then hoorah for quick deliveries! Maybe check out the Services on the way? You'd be gutted if you gave birth in the MacDonalds carpark if there's a classy Harvester just 2 mins further!

Sorry, you were asking a serious question. With #1 we were a few hours away at 39 weeks. DH didn't realise that it could happen any time until the lovely B&B lady looked a bit that we were there and probably skuttled off to put a mattress protector on the bed

EmLH · 02/10/2011 22:45

Depends if you'd be bothered about having to give birth somewhere away from home. I wouldn't have gone because I was really paranoid about my baby coming early like my mum said I did but I ended up going 2 weeks over and now wish I'd been a bit more daring with my last few weeks of freedom!

notcitrus · 03/10/2011 09:06

I went 3 hours from home at 39 weeks for a 3-day weekend... having checked out the nearest maternity unit, that they would be OK if I showed up, put its details in the satnav and had a map to it, and had bag and carseat in the car and carried my notes at all times. Actually I took my notes everywhere from 28 weeks...

But that was in another English city that I knew, I vaguely knew the hospital, and it was an equally renowned unit for delivery. And MrNC was with me as were many other friends I could rely on. If it was somewhere rural with a risk of bad weather I might have decided not to.

I did think I might be going into labour just as we came home but it was just ds getting head-downwards and engaging. I don't think I'd have been any more comfortable at home.

Original poster

MelanieWiggles · 03/10/2011 18:16

Thanks everyone. Am very impressed by how adventurous some of you have been

There is a hospital where my parents live (the one I was born in in fact!) however after my last experience I would not be comfortable labouring without my consultant close by (I will be screaming for him at the first twinge this time round). So I've decided to ask my siblings to either bring the party forward a few weeks or to have it closer to me - if they don't agree I'll just sit on them until they do

OP posts:

thenightsky · 03/10/2011 18:19

I went to a Buckingham Palace garden party (four hours from home) at 37 weeks. Was bloody horrible though as I had to stand all day.

OP... if it is the sort of party where you are going to have to be on your feet all day I'd not be keen on those grounds alone.

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