Partner not coming to Downs scan

7 replies

SavannahRose · 26/09/2011 10:01

just a bit upset as me and my partner have no been getting on great and he told me last week he's not coming to our downs scan this Wednesday :(

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ShowOfHands · 26/09/2011 10:03

What's a downs scan? Do you mean the nuchal scan?

Why isn't he coming? Is it because he can't or he doesn't want to?

Need more information really.

Original poster

SavannahRose · 26/09/2011 10:06

Yes the nuchal scan. He just said last week he's not coming that's he's not leaving work just for a scan. But he left an hour early for a blooming massage last week!!

OP posts:

Newmom2b · 26/09/2011 10:16

Surely this is when you get to see the baby for the first time? It's an amazing experience and he'll regret it if he doesn't go. Has he given you any reasons?

cat64 · 26/09/2011 10:20

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ShowOfHands · 26/09/2011 10:21

If he's able to take time off and you want him there and he's refusing then that's a clear message. Is this definitely what's happening? It's not that he can't get the time off?

If he's doing this to hurt you because you're not getting on then he is an absolute nob and I suggest for the moment you concentrate on an alternative plan. Do you have a good friend/relative to take with you? You deserve to be supported through your pregnancy by somebody who cares enough to offer you and the baby good, consistent, unconditional support. If he cannot provide it then find somebody else to lean on. This will help you tackle what's going on with your relationship.

Why aren't you getting on? Is it only since the pregnancy happened? Is it related to the pregnancy? Is it one sided? Are you unhappy? Is he? Is he worried about something? Or is this indicative of the state of the relationship outside of being pregnant? Has it happened before?

madeindevon2 · 26/09/2011 13:34

if it's important to you that he comes then make that clear to him. My dh doesn't come to all scans and it doesn't bother me. But if it did I would be getting all angry with him! :-)
He booked and paid for a private scan when I had a bleed at 13 weeks. Although I said it probably wasn't necessary as the consultant had listened to baby. He couldn't come to scan due to work commitments but he does care!

buonasera · 27/09/2011 07:53

I think you're well within your rights to tell him to get his bum down to that scan... but it might be worth not pushing it for now. Not to share my entire boring history but my other half is looking slightly green about the gills about the whole thing and I've been yelling at him to grow up and acknowledge it's happening and it's not really helping.

Would agree with the other posters though that you might want to find a friend (or maybe your mum if that's possible?) to come along with you if you want someone there... a female friend might be a bit more sympathetic as they can imagine being in that position themselves...

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