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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Will I regret finding out the sex????HELP

94 replies

dewberry1 · 15/12/2005 13:17

I cant decide whether to ask the sex at my 20 week scan in January...I didnt find out with ds but this time i keep thinking it would be easier to prepare if I knew..(nursery, clothes etc) and also I could prepare my ds who desperately wants a brother...But I was watching Portland babies (im hooked)yesterday and their was a lady on their who said she regretted finding out..
Has anyone regretted it..Help!! I would like your advise.xx

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foundintransleightion · 15/12/2005 16:25

We hadn't wanted to find out, but the gyn dropped a hint and so my feeling (a boy) was confirmed. I don't regret it as we named him the same weekend and it all became more 'real'. Next time we won't find out though.

merrycompo · 15/12/2005 16:30

We found out and didn't regret it at all. We decided to tell everyone it was a surprise. MIL still thinks she knew what ds was before everyone else because dh showed her a rather revealing scan without thinking but she never said anything until after he was born. Would love to tell her we already knew it was a boy but dh wont let me .... gggrrrr

expatinscotland · 15/12/2005 16:36

i WISH we'd have found out.

Socci · 15/12/2005 16:44

Message withdrawn

collision · 15/12/2005 16:57

We found out both times and dont regret it at all.

On the other hand it IS the biggest surprise ever and it is the only thing in the world that no one knows....so in that way I think it is nice not to know and have a surprise.

I was just too nosey!

OhlittletownofEIDSVOLD · 16/12/2005 02:22

found out first time - and we both thought dd1 was a girl, scan said she was - our reasing was that they had detected a serious heart defect and we had a day of 'bad' news - figured if we knew - something positive.

ANd when asked - told a lie and said we did not know for sure... although consultant obstetric radiographer did say that she was not 100% sure.

2nd time - dd2 was not co operating even at a 36 week scan..... radiographer thought it highly likely she was a girl but would not be even more than 50% sure as she could not really see. Luckily we moved before having dd2 as our UK hospital trust made it a policy not to reveal the gender unless there was some medical condition that was inherent in the family.

Don't regret finding out with dd1 - we knew so much with dd1 except the actual date of her birth - but we did not regret it. Don't regret not knowing with dd2 - lovely when they said she was a girl....

roisin · 16/12/2005 04:19

LOL at Frogs - you always make me laugh!

I didn't find out with mine, but wish I had with ds2. The pregnancy was very different from my previous two (both boys), so - despite wanting a boy - we were convinced he was a girl.

The labour/birth were very quick, and I ended up feeling very shell-shocked with my baby boy. I soon got used to it though!

bigbaubleeyes · 16/12/2005 04:36

We found out and we love talking about our little lewis who is due next week. It is practical and i think it helps with bonding and may help prepare your son either way!

I also think there is plenty to keep you busy with the usual worries and you still don't know what your baby will look like or how their personality will develop -plenty of suprises. When DH and i found out we went to chose his first outfit together and I already have memories of converstations concerning our little boy - poor lewis get blamed for making me eat the 'wrong things' at funny times!

However it is a very individual choice

vicimelly · 16/12/2005 05:09

I found out with dd, but was told "this one's definitely a boy" luckily didn't go blue mad, but to say I was shocked when she popped out is an understatement!! lol
I still think I'd ask if I was to have another though, am far too nosy not to, but would definitely be cautious because they can and do get these things wrong!!

Auntybrandybutter · 16/12/2005 06:41

never wanted to know with any of mine. I cant see the need. But did have an idea with them all, just gut instinct

bigbaubleeyes · 16/12/2005 10:24

Bloody hell VICI i have gone blue thought they are 99% with boys - I will just - i don't know what i'll do we don't evenhave list of names for a girl. Scared now!!!!!! Best not tell this one to DH after he stood and ironed all of his little clothes the other night!!!!! OOOOO dear!!!!

thecattleareALOHing · 16/12/2005 11:02

It's not a 'need' aunty - it's a preference.

Chloe55 · 16/12/2005 12:10

We have found out (I'm 32 weeks) and I like the fact I know - providing they are right anyway! It has helped us loads financially because lots of friends and family have given us some of their babyboy clothes.

DH desparately wanted a boy so if they are wrong and we have a girl it might be a bit harder for him to take in than if he hadn't ever known though iykwim.

Auntybrandybutter · 16/12/2005 12:39

I know its a preference I just said that I didnt have a need. They wear neautral to start then you can get the right sex stuff whenthey are born

Epiffany · 16/12/2005 12:42

I had to know, mostly cos my instinct told me both times and I had to know if I was right
I was
Both times
No regrets at all

crimbocrazydazy · 16/12/2005 12:43

We are both impatient so couldn't wait and found out with both of ours....very glad we did as I felt I bonded more with the child knowing what the sex of it was before it was born. It was also something to get you through the second half of your pregnance as you find out more or less halfway through.

I take my hat off to people who can wait but I don't think for one minute that finding out ruined the "surprise" at the end. Just knowing your baby is healthy is the most important thing and thats all we were bothered about when they were first born.

Eulalia · 16/12/2005 12:51

No didn't find out with any of them (3 children) - I like surprises although it would have been easier the last time as I had bags of boys stuff up to age 6 and girls up to age 3 and we could hardly move!

Auntybrandybutter · 16/12/2005 12:51

Think everyone has their own reasons for asking or not asking. For me ..I didnt want to know.

PeachyPlumFairy · 16/12/2005 13:40

I didn't find out with ds's 1 and 2 but with no 3 we did as we didn't need anything for a boy, for a girl, loads. We had already been through a lot with baby3 as he had possible (not actual tho) DS but we did anyway, it was a boy. Everyone thought the stress + another boy would make it harder to bond but in fact having a name for 'it' was amazing and we really felt we knew him by the time he arrived. DH and I aren't partcularly imaginative and find the believing it's a real baby before it pops out thing hard, so it really helped and I'd do again like a shot.

nickiey · 16/12/2005 19:53

to be fair tho, even if you find out and are dissapointed you'll have more time to adjust.

shepherdswatchedtheirflockets · 16/12/2005 20:06

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crimbocrazydazy · 16/12/2005 21:01

I agree with Peachyplum that you do bond with the baby more, you refer to it as a "he/she" rather than an "it" it just makes you feel that bit closer.

My sister was convinced she was carrying a boy as everyone told her she was "carrying for a boy" as she had put on weight in a certain way. When she gave birth and had a girl her first reaction was "oh no, I wanted a boy" and was really upset. Once she bonded with the baby she was fine but I would hate to have that feeling. I wanted a boy for the first but when I found out I was having a girl I came around to it and by the time she was born I was really glad.

WickedWinterWitch · 16/12/2005 21:03

I found out both times, I'm very nosy and couldn't bear not to.

motherinfurrierfestivehat · 16/12/2005 21:04

Rather to my surprise I am a total earth-hippy about these things and couldn't bear the idea of knowing in advance.

shepherdswatchedtheirflockets · 16/12/2005 21:05

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