Finding out the sex

[hairylights]

we are hoping to find out if were having a boy or a girl at our scan next week. I have had several people (friends and colleaues) ask if we know yet (wish I hadn't said "yes" when they asked if we would find out)

Do you think it's a bit odd that people would assume we will tell them, when we know. I don't want to tell the world ... If close family members want to know we'll tell them, but I feel a little that people in general would expect us to tell them just because we know.

Hang on. You think I'm pretentious because I don't want to tell everyone the sex of my unborn baby? . How is that pretentious? Do you mean precious?

Oh sod off you silly mare. I you don't have something constructive to say, then dint say anything.

hairylights, I take it this is your first child?

I honestly think there's a good chance you'll be embarrassed by this thread in a year's time. The people who will buy you pink or blue outfits will just delay the purchase until you are willing to graciously bestow them with the news of your child's birth.

And then when your sooo cutely pretty daughter gets referred to as 'he' repeatedly will you understand why parents dress their children like this. Congratulations on your original approach, though. (Although, when you're on the other side of this you might find out you're not as original as you thought.)

Surely you just say you dont like pink or blue things and most people respect that? Maybe Im being a tad simple. Im assuming when he or she grows you'll be dressing them in clothes from the boys or girls section.

This is what happens when you're pregnant...people ask you the same questions again and again until your a Mummy. It gets worse..just wait until your 10 days late...Has it arrives yet!!! Arghhh.

Then once's the baby arrives..it will be different questions....sleep or lack of it, poo and sick...!!

It's bloody annoying but part of the deal..

20, not 29.

Oh, no, I did say preciousness.

Wy don't you just go away lemon? you've made your point.

I'm with Lemon

OK, of course, I'll go.

For future reference, though, if you put an OP with

'Do you think it's a bit odd that people would assume we will tell them, when we know'

don't be so taken aback when posters reply that it's not odd, and here's why!

Maybe you should post this on AIBU and see what happens....?!?!

If any of you were actually answering my question, then I'd get it. But you sound so very mean.

An incarnation of Buddha? Wtf are you talking about?

It's not odd at all to not tell people. I know plenty of people who found out but didn't share the news. Good on them I say.

I always like to buy a gift when the baby has arrived anyway - it seems more personal.

You can always tell people they couldn't tell what the sex was at the scan. That gets you out of the problem of having told people you would find out.

In my naïveté, when people at work asked me if we would be finding out I said "yes". I didn't for one minute think that they thought that meant "yes, and we'll be telling the world and his wife". I honestly thought it was normal to find out but not tell everyone else.

I'm astonished that some people aren't aware of the extent of gender stereotyping that goes on.. of course it happens - its human nature - but we've chosen to try and stave that off as long as possible.

And we dint intend to have all blue stuff for a boy and all pink stuff for a girl. I don't think that's odd.

We found out the sex at 20 weeks and I am now 35 weeks, we have only told my Dsis and that is because she has just moved abroad and I wanted to be able to tell her in person.

The main reason we haven't told anyone is because I REALLY didn't want to find out the sex and DP really, really did.

We had a deal last time with DD that we wouldn't find out and that next time, we would. So it was a compromise for us to find out but not tell anyone as I think it is a bit like opening your Christmas presents early and takes away something magical from the birth.

It is entirely up to the couple involved to decide whether to find out and then whether to share the news. A lot of people have tried to trick it out of us but we haven't let it slip yet.

So do whatever you want. I think it will be nice for people in our family to find out on the day and I would have told work but I think you either tell everyone or no-one (apart from my Dsis of course!)

You are very naive if you think that people won't ask ,if they know that you know the sex

You can sling your hook as well secondcoming you're just being mean.

I'm not naive usualsuspect. It's just that in pregnancy it seems as if suddenly the kind of thing that one would normally think was private seems to become fair game for business. Eg: If someone told me they were getting a mortgage I wouldn't ask them how much for, how much deposit they had or how they got their deposit.

Come on people! This is a pregnancy thread not AIBU. She asked a perfectly valid question and the tone of some of the replies is extremely OTT.

OP, if you want to find out but not tell anyone in RL you can always tell Mnet! We will keep your secret

People are curious - take it as flattery. I was asked throughout my pregnancy despite not knowing. Do know that if your baby doesn't wear traditional colours that you will be asked whether they are a he or she as my baby is (doesn't bother me though, I refuse to have everything pink). I also got people telling me I was bigger - at the time its annoying but they mean it as a compliment (wierd, I would never find it okay to tell a woman she's big). The bigger I got, I had people daily asking the sex, people in supermarkets etc. It's all part of the buildup to the big day. Take it in your stride and enjoy the outpouring of love to you when you have your child. It's a big deal and people should make a fuss.

at gender stereotype before its born, sorry OP that's ridiculous, presumably you will tell people what it is once its born which is when stereotype actually has some effect on the actual baby.

I think its your info to do what you want with but i think your being very up yourself to think people won't ask. I have not found out with any of my babies although i'd like to know i'm crap at secrets and love the surprise for everyone and beside we get to play guess the sex in thew coffee room at work this way

thanks red ;)

Hairylights I completely agree with you, especially about the gender-stereotyping. DH and I did find out the sex and we kept it to ourselves. I referred to the baby as it, he, or she throughout the pregnancy and we never let slip, so it can be done. :) Because people didn't know the sex they bought neutral presents, in white, green etc. Of course we started to get 'boy' presents and blue things once he was born, but it meant we weren't unindated.