Newly pregnant - what do I need to know?! Unable to get doctors appt...

[pep124]

Hi

I'm getting very frustrated and tearful (hormones?!) as my doctors are being totally unhelpful and I still haven't got an appointment to confirm my pregnancy. They "let" me go in and do a urine sample yesterday (handed over by receptionist, no Dr seen) and said to call back in a week for results, and then try to book an appointment, but won't let me book one in advance. So basically I'm going to be seven weeks pregnant before I see anyone. Is that normal? Does it matter? What will the doctor do - just tell me what not to eat, or something practical like refer me to a midwife?

Also - is there anything I need to do or need to know? I obviously stopped drinking the second I found out (pregnancy was VERY much unplanned and unexpected, and against all the odds) and started taking folic acid. I'm also eating loads of fruit and veg, cut down on fish (usually eat every day) and avoiding seafood, pate and soft cheese. Have I got everything covered, or is there anything else I need to know?

Also - is it normal to cry about anything/everything at this early stage - or am I just being pathetic?!

Thanks all :) xx

Congratulations!

Our GP doesn't even do a pregnancy test she says if an over the counter test says you are pregnant then you are and just writes you a referral letter to the local hospital or midwives if going for midwife led care. The hospital then contacts you and asks you to come for a booking in appointment - blood tests, height/weight check, urine check, questionnaire on health matters etc etc and a quick dating scan around 10 weeks although some places just combine booking in appointment with 12 week scan. So in terms of not seeing someone till you are 7 weeks I can't see that being a problem. Sounds like you are doing/eating all the right things. I would say if you are feeling well then enjoy it as pregnancy related ailments can come and go day to day.

And yes your hormones will be going mad so crying or being grumpy or being tired all come with pregnancy : )

Hope that helps a bit.

it was a waste of time seeing my GP. if you have a positive home test they take that as your pregnant. No confirmation needed. All mine did was do a referral to the midwife and i didn't see her till 9-10 weeks! I was in and out in 5 mins if that.

Maybe bypass your GP and ask your surgery if you can refer yourself to your midwife team or ask if you can make your booking appointment direct

Agree with Fresh - its pretty pointless going to see GP, they're generally clueless about pregnancy anyway, as midwives deal with it all. Ours said 'oh...that's nice'! That was about it.

Do you know where your midwives are based? Possibly local childrens centre? If I were you I'd ring them and see if you can book yourself in.

You can carry on eating fish, they don't tell you to avoid seafood these days either.

Soft cheese is just the ones like camembert & brie, philadelphia etc are fine!

Yes hormones are normal - unfortunately!

Congratulations!

Completely normal. My gp never wants to see me until at least 8 weeks. They don't do anything anyway except ask if you're going to continue with the pregnancy, tell you what not to eat/drink/ and calculate your due date, which you've probably done 19 times already!

They do refer you to the midwives but it might be that you can ring up and do that yourself. Different areas do different things.

So congratulations! The crying is par for the course :)

my drs surgary positively dont want you to see them when you are pregnant. (a waste of a drs appt apparently, and tbh i agree!)

you just make an appt with the midwife, and at the midwife appt you book your booking appt!

I have never had it confirmed by a dr (or midwife) that i was pregnant. the fact I was there saying i was, was good enough for them.

Those 1st appts are pretty pointless imo. they basicaly stick you on the system, give you an emmas diary book and my midwife booked my 12 week scan there and then.
i answered all the questions, and got my notes etc at my booking apt which was at 9 weeks.

Completely normal to be emotional about everything!

The first time I ever got a bfp I rushed down to the surgery to book an appointment as if it was some sort of emergency! needless to say when I saw a doctor it was fairly useless. You are already doing all the stuff that they will tell you about. They don't confirm pregnancies these days, shop tests are just as good as the ones they do.

Ask your doctors reception to make you a midwife appt for when you are about 8-10 weeks (this does vary in different areas) for booking in. The midwife will not do much at that stage but you will have a long appointment in which they take a detailed medical history, start you ante-natal notes, refer you for a scan, decide if you are low or high risk pregnancy, weigh you, take your blood pressure, arrange for your blood tests etc. Usually they are not interested in seeing you till 8 weeks at the earliest.

If you aren't sure about what you can and can't eat, the NHS choices site has info about pregancy diet etc. Most stuff you can eat as normal, there are only a few obvious things that you need to avoid entirely. Fish is actually good for you and it is recommended that you eat some during pregnancy for the nutrients in it. All white fish is absolutely fine. It's "predatory" fish that you have to limit/avoid - swordfish, tuna, etc.

Leaving aside the health need for a GP visit - it sounds like maybe you could do with talking to someone about your feelings about being pregnant?

Are you ok? Happy to be pg? Feel supported?

My GP didn't do a pregnancy test and then just googled 'advice for pregnant women' whilst we sat there! :o

In fact, the first tine time it was confirmed by anyone other than me was at the 12 week scan! Even the midwife just accepted it as fact!

Agree with kat - get a referral to a midwife from the reception - I was 7 weeks for my booking in appt and that's when it all kicked in with maternity care.

And congratulations! :)

TBH no one is much interested in you until around 12 weeks. Its hard as you are bursting with excitement!

Fact is pregnancy is a long 9 months and its only in the last 2 months that the appointments become more frequent and they start taking a real interest.

Typically it might go like this -

• see midwife at some point before 12 weeks, or alternatively as part of the 12 week scan appt at hospital. She will probably test your wee and take blood.

• 12 week dating scan, plus nuchal fold scan somewhere between 11 and 13 weeks (if you want to do the latter you may well have to arrange it privately if its not available on your local NHS).

-16 week midwife appt - more wee testing and blood taking. Usually hear heart beat with doppler for the first time at this one.

• 20 week scan - anomaly scan, detailed, can usually find out sex if baby is cooperative (our DC2 wasn't!!). If its your first you'll probably start feeling the baby kicking around now.

• 24 week midwife appointment - more wee and maybe bloods. At some point around now you might have the Glucose Tolerance Test (for gestational diabetes)

-28 weeks midwife - more wee and maybe bloods

-32 weeks midwife - more wee and maybe bloods

Then it is about every 2 weeks till baby arrives!

So not much happens in the first 12 weeks! Very frustrating as many people actually find the first trimester the hardest part of pregnancy (I did - terrible sickness and exhaustion) but no one else can really see. The third trimester is hard and uncomfy but at least you are near the end and you are so huge everyone gives you a lot of support and attention!!

Dont forget, if you have any vaginal bleeding in the first trimester, or are very sick such that you can't function, go and see your GP or midwife immediately. Particularly if you are so sick that you can't keep anything down for 24 hours plus. Its normal to have a bit of bleeding in the first trimester, but it does need checking out. If you are very sick they can prescribe drugs to help.

Best of luck and try and pace yourself!!!!

PS - normal to be very hormonal! The first trimester is like having a full on hangover with a bit of depression and lots of nausea/exhaustion thrown in, for most people! If in a couple of weeks you start feeling dreadful, don't worry. It will pass as you get through the first months.

Do keep taking the folic acid and try to cut out alcohol, smoking and the foods youve listed.

If you can keep eating healthily, great. If you can't as you feel so sick, don't worry, as long as you are keeping hydrated and managing to eat something its OK. I lived off sherbert lemons, Coke and plain pasta with DD. All the GPs and Midwives assured me DD would get what she needed to grow from me regardless of what I ate. But obv the healthier you can eat, the better.

There's a helpful list here if you are concerned about what to eat etc.

Don't worry about the crying. I started being terribly tearful at adverts when I was pregnant with DS (now 2) and it hasn't worn off yet!

I had the same kind of experience. The GP was terrible, and what I felt should have been one of the happiest moments in my life, the official confirmation of my very first pregnancy. Check out your local hospital, you should be able to go there without a GP referral just in case she/he hasn't sent one. All the information should be in their website.

About the hormones... I was once told that what you feel like during your pregnancy, emotion wise, is pretty much the same kind of emotion that you felt before getting your period only much more exacerbated. For example, I'm the weepy kind, and it was very hard for me to control it through out the first 12 weeks (basically when people at work weren't aware of my pregnancy) so, when trying to swallow my tears I ended up being snappy at my colleagues and supervisor. I felt much better and more controlled after I told everyone :)
... of course, that doesn't mean that I'm not weepy any more!

Good luck!

Do you know where you want to give birth, eg nearest hospital?
I'd phone them (ask for the ante-natal clinic) and explain the situation and ask for a booking-in appt and scans to be booked, and if there's a MW team closer to you.

You can self-refer, but for some reason GPs seem to like doing it themselves which can delay things a lot - my MW this time sighed a lot when I told her I thought I could self-refer but the surgery said I had to see a GP first.

Apart from the referral paperwork the GP will remind you to take folic acid until 12 weeks, suggest stopping smoking if relevant, encourage you to eat a healthy varied diet if you're not going to throw it up, avoid the pates and blue/soft cheese and any buffets which might give you food poisoning, max 3 coffees a day (google FSA and pregnancy for the detailed advice), and that's about it.

Being tearful and emotional is totally normal, as is feeling like being run over by a steamroller! Hopefully you'll feel better soon. Best wishes.

Utterly normal. I had a very similar experience with mine. Seven weeks should be fine, but if they put you off much more than that start to really make a fuss. At least get them to give you the number of whoever will be your midwife. You need to get her to book your first scan as soon as possible as they can't do the nuchal fold measurement (which tests for the likelihood of downs syndrome) after 14 weeks. Hospitals seem to be constantly running through a back-log of people, but if they give you an appointment that is too late your midwife should hassle them for you. Mine did!

Congratulations and good luck!

Hi Pep,

Just thought I would give you my experience too as if you are anything like me I like to have as much info as possible!

I did a test on the day my period was due, found out I was pregnant so was only about 4 week-ish at that point. I called and managed to see the GP the next day but this wasnt essential as he didnt really do anything except weight me and check my blood pressure and I provided a urine sample as you have. Was advised to call back in 2 days for the result. Called back, was told positive and then given a number for a midwife and told if she doesnt call you in a week then call her.

She didnt call so managed to get hold of her and make my first appointment with her. I had my first appointment at 9 weeks so dont worry about not seeing her by 7 weeks. At the appointment she took bloods, urine sample, blood pressure and asked me lots of questions on mine and my OH's health/ family health history. She completed these in my maternity notes which she will explain and give to you to save and take to every appointment/scan you have throughout your pregnancy. She also booked a scan date for me, mine was at 13 weeks. If you want a nuchal test done (to check for downs syndrome) then make sure she books it in after you are 11 weeks 6 days and before you are 13 weeks 6 days (I was told these are the cut offs for it)

In terms of how you are feeling at the moment, its completely normal. I felt very very tired for those first weeks, I would literally sit at work yawning all day, get in, have some tea, shower, P.J's on and in bed by 9 and I spent a couple of weekends in my P.J's taking naps and just wanting to be by myself and feeling a bit tearful about everything. It can definately make you feel a bit down and withdrawn but by 13 weeks I started to come out of it and start feeling more like myself. It can feel lonely as it does sometimes feel as though people are not bothered about the pregnancy until you get further along.

You sound like you are clued up on the food thing, the list on the NHS website covers everything. Like others have said, dont stress out if you cant eat healthly food all the time. I totally went off salad and veg, just wanted bread and chips, Im 28 weeks now and would say I finally have my full appetite back! Just try to eat well when you can and take folic acid/vitamin D tablets up until you are 12 weeks.

Hope this helps and congratulations!!!! :)

Oh, thanks so much everyone. I LOVE this site - totally helpful. Really glad to hear this is normal - my GP's are far from great, and I didn't want to miss anything critical because I didn't know any better.

And minipie - thanks so much for asking. Really not sure how I feel about it. I've always, always wanted to be a mum - but at 36 (nearly 37) and single I had pretty much ruled it out. All v.complicated with the bf - who I haven't been able to tell yet as he's abroad and uncontactable for the next two weeks - and suspect it will be the end of us (he lives abroad, his wife died very young of cancer 18 months ago so he's still grieving, and he's implied several times that he doesn't want kids) - so totally petrified of doing this alone. But having said that I simply can't imagine not going through with it - I'm relatively old, he smokes loads, I'm on the pill (and I thought pretty careful with taking it at the same time every day, but obviously not?), and I only see him every one or two weeks - so statistically I think the odds were massively stacked against me getting pregnant - so it really does feel like fate that I am. Plus let's be honest this will most likely be my only chance. I'm gutted about potentially losing him, as he's the only guy I've really cared about in the last five years, and scared that I'll never find anyone once I come with a child in tow, but still, it's not enough to make me consider a termination.

Scared about work - I've got a good job at a pretty senior level, but our company is renowned for taking jobs away from women on maternity leave (and subsequently paying out in court) - which suits lots of folk with husbands, who didn't plan to come back and enjoy the payout, but I'll need a job to come back to, and regular income if there's any way I can do this on my own. Obv won't ask the bf for a penny as I'm sure he won't want this.

Anyway enough of my ramblings. The long and the short minipie is that I'm both confused, scared, and excited - but I guess that's the same whether the pg was planned or unplanned....? xx

pep124 if you find any of my posts since Friday when I found out you will see im in some sort of melt down lol, I planned this baby but never actually expected it to happen so you could of scooped me up off the floor when I was positive lol, not sure what I expected but a simple congratulations come and see the doctor and talk things through would have been very very nice!

Anyway I have my first appointment with the midwife when Im 8 weeks, I feel totally let down that it is a group one but there is living proof of the effects of NHS cuts if ive every seen them, yesterday I cried the whole day, today Im really chilled, my mood has been up and down like a yo yo, I keep worrying that my symptoms come and go but im reassured that thats totally normal and I could sleep the clock round, all I can say is that everyone on here seems to have all the time in the world so keep asking and try and let yourself feel excited you have a baby!!! Congratulations, everything else will work itself out just concentrate on keeping yourself as relaxed and stress free and possible :o

Oh - one more question.... Exercise? What can I / can't I do?

I had literally just started going to the gym again after 4 months off - am I OK going back to my old regime (eg 10 mins rowing machine, 10 bike, 10 running and 10 crosstrainer, plus stretches)?

Also I usually cycle to work twice a week @ 25 miles per day - can I still do this? I've not cycled since I found out as I'm too scared it might be bad?

If you exercised before, you can keep on with your normal regime. Don't push yourself if you feel dizzy or very tired obviously. I was so knackered in the first few months.

Hormones will loosen up your ligaments etc in preperation for the birth so pay attention to your warm up.

Good luck with the bf situation. You don't have to tell work for ages.

I would avoid strenuous exercise and stick to walking and swimming but here are the official guidelines