Help me make a decision

[benne81]

Hi folks - could you help me make a decision. A friend of mine had a baby 3 weeks ago - we used to be close (she flat shared with my DH when we first started going out 10 years ago) but we gradually lost touch and didn't see each other much over the last few years. Since we have both got pregnant I've seen slightly more of her in social situations - birthdays, christenings etc and we went to see her beautiful baby last week and she seemed to be doing really well.

Anyway my query is that I have Wednesday off as annual leave and I was thinking about texting to see if she wants to meet up - I could go round to hers of course but I don't know if this is really rude as I realise that she is a new mum and probably completely exhausted and I don't want to be inviting myself round and imposing myself - but then on the other hand she may like a bit of contact with the outside world & company.

I'm 30 weeks so hopefully I'll be meeting more up with her over my maternity leave anyway in a few months time. Just wondered from other peoples experiences of the brand new baby phase whether you would appreciate a visit or not. Hope that makes sense!

I would suggest going to see her but ask if you can help out in any way e.g. do laundry/washing up/make tea or say that you will bring her lunch. That way she realises you're not going to be too demanding on her. And also say that you understand if she's got her hands full. And don't outstay your welcome!

hi - just text her and ask -how did you feel it was going when you saw her last week? frame it so that she can say no -ie say you completly understand if she can't - but in the week I would normally have apriciated a vist
and if you wanted to be a really great friend take a meal for her to heat up in the evening -

You sound like a very caring and thoughtful friend. I'm sure if you text or even email explaining exactly what you've just told us she will be very touched, and good advice about the other posters who have suggested practical help in the form of food!

I would just text her saying something along the lines of "hey, i've got Weds off and wondered if you fancied me bringing some lunch and spending the afternoon with you and your adorable little un" ( obv tailor it to your words) she can say no! She could make up that she has people over already if she doesnt want to see you. Plus by texting her you are not putting her on the spot as much as a phone call.
What a lovely thought on your part.