Bleeding in pregnancy and peoples rubbish advice

[pregnantmimi]

Had bleeding at 5 weeks 11 and 13 and again a little bleed but brown blood at 15. Blood has apart from the last time been bright red and 2 times with stomach pain. Told at my appoinments and scans baby is ok and some people do bleed. Recently been told that Im resus negative and need to have a injection if it happens again but this is only offered to me now as over 16 weeks (im 17 weeks).

Since the bleeding has happened when ever I get upset, ratty or work or decide to drive anywhere have people telling me mostly family "its not good for the baby to be upset" or "you will have a miscarrage if you worry about it" along with "its not good for the baby" "you might lose the baby"you might start bleeding again" "about nearly anything I do or say and its starting to really pee me off as I only work part time and the only exercise I do is walking.

Why do people think its helpful saying this like its my fault Im bleeding or if anything happens its my fault for doing anything other than lying down all day blissful happy.

because you have become public property now you are pg and people think they have the right to say anything they like to you, without much thought as to the effect it will have. But in general they are trying to be helpful, just going about it the wrong way. Remember as well (as if you could forget!) you are pg and hormones will mess with your sensitivity levels to people saying stuff - but try and put a positive construct on their comments, they are trying to help you to remember to rest and stay calm, not frighten you.

Sorry to hear that you are bleeding - that must be pretty distressing. With the Rhesus negative situation, when were your blood group tests done? The Rhesus blood group of the baby doesn't develop until around the 12 week gestation mark, so any bleeding prior to that will be insignificant from the Rhesus sensitisation situation. Any bleeding post 14 weeks (taking into account the fact that your pg is measured from the date of your last period, not when you actually conceived) should involve you having a prophylactic shot of Anti D.

I have some advice too: turn your phone off for a few days and don't visit people who will offer you such advice. Only when you are feeling strong enough to deal with them should you attempt to resume normal activities again.

They are trying to be helpful but IME the stress of people "trying to be helpful" is worse than the actual stress of pregnancy.

thumbnoseatsnap thanks for the advice I have read this too about the anti d being given for any bleeding after 12 weeks my midwife said its 16 weeks but she also said hadnt detected any anti bodies in my blood test I had another one done at 15 weeks when I bled.

If bleed again have to have one early. Have you got resus negative? I dont knw if the rules have changed cause my friend who had her child 7 years ago had anti d much earler than me. xx

Aligryl thanks for the advice am feeling bit more sensitive stopped seeing my sister as much just while been pregnant cause of my hormones as she upsets me doesnt normally even thou shes quite sharp it is just the hormones normally can cope with anything she says. Its my Mum really as she gets histerical about anything and keeps shouting at me and making me more panicy about the bleeding rather than being sympathetic everythings my fault all the time. But your right its just my hormones.xx

Yes, I am Rh negative but also a blood scientist - although not since 1999 in practice. Your MW isn't quite correct; it really should be any bleeds after 12w (although 14w would be acceptable because of what I said in my 1st post) but 16w is wrong. Antibodies take a bit of time to form - about 5d for the first exposure, so it would depend when the blood tests were done in relation to your bleed as to whether antibodies showed up or not.

But the general gameplan is to prevent you making antibodies at all, so yes, if you have another bleed, go in immediately and get your AntiD shot.

Tell your mum that her shouting at you is making you MORE stressed so in fact SHE could be contributing to the problem - that should help shut her up.

thanks thumbsniseatsnapewitch will call the midwife and try get it cause had bleeding at 15 weeks so should have had it done had the blood test the same day thou that I was bleeding will call her make sure.xx

fancy you being a blood scientist thats handy xx

sure is! :)

Hi, i had bleed ing with both my pregnancy's (more so with the 2nd), i found myself going back and forth to the hospital for anti-d injections, after a while the staff knew my name and i would just drive myself in, get the jab and drive home. I still found it very upsetting and stressful (and got fed up of people saying 'getting upset will harm the baby'), after the 4th or 5th bleed i was checked over (again) and told i had erossion (sp) of the cervix which was caused by hormone changes, this wasn't caused by stess and was not effecting the baby at all. Both dd's were born full term and were healthy.

thanks for the reasurance marne I think I might have a cervical erosion as I had bleeding every day with the coil so think Im sensitive there the doctors said when I bleed again need injection and they will have a look whats going on there.x

marne when did you first have a anti d injection?

You might have to tell them what to look for, it does sound like erosion, i bleed after a smear and sometimes after sex (it doesn't seem to take much), deffently get it checked out then at least it rules out anything to do with the baby and you can relax a little. It is a pain having to get the injections though .

actually I wanted to ask you marne but thought bit personal the bleeding happened with me twice after sex and once after the smear. Does the injection stop the bleeding or is it so blood doesnt have affect on baby bit confused by it all.x

the antiD is to stop you making antibodies to the Rh D antigen. If your partner is Rh D Positive, your baby has a 50:50 chance of also being RhD positive; so if you make antiD antibodies, these can cross the placenta and attack the baby's red blood cells if they are Rh D positive.

The antiD will have zero effect on the integrity of your cervix, or on your bleeding propensity - it's all about protecting your baby, not just this one, but future ones you may have.

Sorry you're having such a hard time of it.

I bled fairly regularly at the start of my first pregnancy - in fact was convinced I couldn't be pregnant as had had "periods" and mine seemed to happen following sex too.

All was fine with the pregnancy but it's funny others have mentioned cervical trouble as during my follow-up smear test I was found to have CIN2 cells and had to have cervical treatment for this. I have had no bleeding this pregnancy and think my previous problems could have been due to my cervix, although for a slightly different reason.

Thunbs spot on, it wont stop the bleeding just protects baby (if it is a different blood group than you). If it is erosion then its likely you will bleed on and off through your pregnancy (but its nothing to worry about), keep eating plenty of fibre because if you get bunged up and strain you will cause a bleed (sory if TMI but htis is often how my bleeding would start) and try not to do much lifting (again straining could start it off).

So its not to stop the bleeding its to stop the blood infecting the baby? Thanks for your tie thumbsnose xx

no no, it doesn't infect the baby, but any antibodies you make could eventually cross the placenta. The first lot you make won't because they are too big, but any subsequent exposure to the baby's blood cells could result in you making smaller, faster antibodies - and those CAN cross the placenta and attack the baby's blood cells. Antibodies are designed to fight off foreign invaders - and baby's blood cells look like foreign invaders if they are a different blood group to you.

so maybe the bleed i had a 15 weeks would be ok just going to call the maternity unit to talk about it thanks for advicexx

I would call and ask

Oh and both my babies turned out to be the same blood group as me anyway (so there wasn't even a risk).

Ask for an Anti-d ASAP as the injection lasts for a while (can't remember how long) so you will be covered if you bleed again).