So worried

[MummySunshine]

Hello all, my first post on this site!

I'm 20 and found out I'm 1 month gone 3 days ago with my first - was told I wouldn't have kids so SO please with my little miracle - but absolutely petrified. I'm so scared of losing the baby - I know the first 3 months are the risky period - I just cannot stop thinking about it. My parents have put ideas into my head of getting to the 12 week scan and there being no baby. My first drs app. is not til Wednesday - and this is all I can think about!

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with the anxiety? And anything I can do (aside from folic acid and healthy eating) that can reduce the chances of miscarriage?

Thanks in advance

S x

Hi Mummy Sunshine and congratulations on your pregnancy. The one thing that really might make a difference is to try not to be stressing about it!! I know!

I was told about 20 months ago that I would probably never conceive naturally. Then about 3 months later I found out I was pregnant. I was similar to you being very worried, along with the fact my previous problems had been with prolonged bleeding (pretty much every day for 2 1/2 years). I was still bleeding solidly until a week before I took the test, then continued to have bouts of bleeding until about 14/15 weeks. I was constantly worried and convinced I would lose the baby. I was surprised at my first scan to find the baby was there and was still alive, and I was 16+3 so had bled for the first 7 weeks of pregnancy solidly. But she's now 9.5 months and absolutely fine.

I know first hand how difficult it is when there's not really any way of knowing how it's all going. I found it much easier later on when she was moving.

You need to try and keep your stress levels as low as possible. Talk to your partner about your feelings but try not to let your worries take over your life and be a part of all your conversations. Make sure your GP and MW are aware of your concerns. I had a terrible MW who was rude and dismissive of me at my first appointment, and I ended up not seeing a MW (apart from at the scans) until about 27 weeks when I saw a wonderful MW and stayed with her until DD was 4 weeks. It's very important you feel like you have plenty of support around you.

I hope everything goes well for you. Good luck

hello and congratulations!

First of all, a lot of miscarriages are caused by problems beyond your control. But there are things you can do to help your pregnancy stay safe - avoid caffiene, alcohol and the sweetner aspartame for starters - have a look at the advice for pregnancy about what to avoid food-wise.

As for the anxiety, if you explain to your doctor that you're really anxious - esp if you have a medical condition - you might be able to go to your local epu (early pregnancy unit) and have a scan. You can also pay to have scans privately.

Also, it's really normal to feel anxious. Early pregnancy is tough because you're not supposed to tell everyone, you feel like crap and your emotions are all over the place. Have a look at the ante-natal club section of Mumsnet and find the month you're due (March?) and speak to loads of others with the same anxieties as you - it's very reassuring!

Good luck.

Wow congrats hun :o that is fantastic!!!!

What a little miracle!! It must be a tough little cookie already :)

I know it is really hard, but you just have to try not to worry, take your folic acid/pregnacare vitamins and try and rest rest rest as much as possible! Dont worry too much about exercise.. you can do this in your 2nd trimester!

How is the money stituation? If you find you are stressing too much i suggest maybe having an early scan privatley? These can be done from around week 7/8 and are about £100... google babybond scans xx

Also i agree about a visit to the EPU... i went there as i was having terrible pains and they were worried about etpoic and they were brill

Another option is to go to your gp and ask if they will check your hormone levels in your blood, if they double every two days, it is a sign that the pregnancy is developing xx

Congratulations on your pregnancy! It's very hard not to worry but I found one coping strategy is to take things one day at a time and not focus too much on longer term dates like the 12 week scan because they can feel impossibly far away. Also, if you can afford it I thoroughly recommend regular reassurance scans between 6 and 12 weeks-they helped me calm down enormously.

The other thing I found very helpful was Emotional Freedom Technique-if you google it there's lots of info about how you do it-it's all about changing your thought patterns. I also did lots of visualisations. At first it was too hard to visualise holding a baby so i started with imagining holding a big pregnancy bump.

Hope this helps!

Hiya MummySunshine thats fab news for you on your pregnancy. Try to enjoy your pregnancy is my best offering I'm afraid, and I know its really hard. I'm 25 wks pregnant with my second and had a mmc before this pregnancy which has really ruined the first months of my pregnancy this time for the shear stress and worry, I was convinced I was going to lose the baby...And I didn't. Now the baby is wriggling it is much easier to relax and I'm so excited. I just wish I had relaxed sooner and enjoyed it from the start.

Just let yourself get excited and start all the planning in your head, do whatever you like, the naming etc, just go with the whole 'I'm pregnant' thing, because if the worst did happen you would probably feel guilty like I did that I'd paid no attention to my unborn baby and it deserved better!

If it makes you feel better you could have a private scan for reassurance, but I'm not sure they are worth the money. I had one and at least it did prove to me that I was definately pregnant and there was a baby there!!

Hope all goes great for you and see you around the forums :) ps avoid reading anything that looks like its mc related x

thankyou all so much for your reassurance - will be sure to try to rest(!!!) and voice my concerns to my GP on Weds - Thanks :) x

MummySunshine Congrats!
You can self-refer to most early pregnancy units. I know it helped with my rediculous anxiety levels.
You might want to look at breathing techniques and look at cognitive behavioural therapy techniques...your GP should help you out there.
As for your parents, they are just trying to keep you grounded, but being very thoughtless in the process. As I'm now having to do with mine, tell them to back off as it's stressing you out...not easy...not done it yet myself...

CONGRATULATIONS!
I completely sympathise with you about pretty much everything you have said! When I was 18 (11 years ago ) I was told that I would never be able to conceive naturally due to a condition that was undiagnosed for 2 years. I asked for tests at the time but was told that, as I didn't want a child at that time, they wouldn't allow the tests. Fast forward 10 years and here I am 8+2 and sooooooooo anxious about everything!! 3 days after I discovered I was pregnant I was admitted to hospital with ?EP due to horrific pains. I had a scan but it was too early to tell if the sac they saw was the embryo or a collection of fluid in reaction to an ectopic. I had to wait 8 days for a further scan and in that time I swear I nearly went out of my mind!!! After the 2nd scan, with everything in the right place and a little heartbeat, every ache and pain still terrifies me!!! It doesn't help that I work in an A&E department and have been required to treat 1 patient with an ectopic and 2 mc's so I am just living in fear all the time
As much as I want to relax into this pregnancy I think I have too much experience in dealing with things when they go wrong and too much knowledge so self diagnose. I wish I could stop but, short of not going to work (not an option), all I can do is take all of the support my friends and family offer.
Congratulations on your wonderful news, just take it easy, relax and enjoy being fussed over