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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

would you ask for money?

77 replies

lightsandshapes · 04/07/2011 21:42

am 24 weeks with dc 1. very exciting. Been generously given more than enough clothes by a friend of DP. So kind of her. have been washing and drying, folding and stacking for days! Have filled the wardrobe and there's still a mountain on the floor of cute things. My question is... when i do the birth announcement (by email) do you think I can get away with saying something like - 'have more than enough baby clothes, so don't need any more, but cash for the baby's trust fund account would be most appreciated if you want to contribute something'. Could I get away with this - is there a better way to say it - or is asking for cash an issue?? Just don't know where I could put clothing and really don't need any more!!

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sheeplikessleep · 05/07/2011 09:46

I would think that type of request was quite rude.

BUT, if it was me, with close friends and family, I would say about how lovely friend has been with giving clothes / coming out of ears etc, in general conversation. They may pick up on it or might not.

TBH, most of my close friends / family asked what we might like. More distant friends / relatives sent presents anyway.

Getting lots of soft toys and impractical but cute clothes is par for the course really ;)

sheeplikessleep · 05/07/2011 09:47

Also amazed about how generous people are.

They should be taken in the manner they are intended really.

lachesis · 05/07/2011 09:47

No one has to do a birth announcement, either.

Unless they're a grabby sort who use it as a vehicle to fund raise.

HelloKlitty · 05/07/2011 09:48

It's not a wedding! You don't ask for anything!

HelloKlitty · 05/07/2011 09:50

Also a birth announcement by Email is quite tacky. Either send cards properly or don't.

nunnie · 05/07/2011 09:55

I had never heard of a birth announcement before thought it was just be being of a non modern state of mind.

I don't get to announce my own births my husband rings my mum and then we need do no further work she rings everyone who will listen

campingshop · 05/07/2011 09:56

The birth announcement you are describing will come across as a fund raising opportunity and very grasping. I'd be very offended if I received it and you probably wouldn't be receiving anything from me.

That said, people will give you gifts when you baby is born. If they're unsuitable all you have to do is return them to the shop for exchange or a gift card. Problem sorted and no-one offended.

lolajane2009 · 05/07/2011 10:01

tbh i would just send out the birth announcement and not even mention what I'd like. i'd just include name, date, birth weight etc but maybe that is just me. I am not really expecting anything from anyone.

KirstyJC · 05/07/2011 10:01

I would be really offended by getting this birth announcement - and tbh I would then NOT buy anything even though I would otherwise have wanted to. Why do people seem to make every event in life an opportunity to get stuff from people? A gift is just that - a gift, not an expectation.

I think you are being quite presumptuous to expect things from everyone you send an announcement to. If people want to buy you things they will. And in my experience (just had DS3) you will get many people buying larger sizes for the future.

Catslikehats · 05/07/2011 10:07

Really rude even if you make the request in conversation. To put it in writing is just

buzzsore · 05/07/2011 10:12

No, bad email. YABU. Do not ask for anything.

If anyone asks you what they can get you for the baby, say changing mat or nappies or practical but not too expensive things.

Take hand-me-downs with grace, or be very grateful but refuse if you've too much already.

buzzsore · 05/07/2011 10:14

Oops I wandered into 'pregnancy' by mistake. Thought I was in AIBU.

It's still a bad email 'though.

Chandon · 05/07/2011 10:27

Oh, I would feel a bit put off by that.

As it is a huge pleasure to buy something nice for a friend's baby.

I often buy bigger size (1 yr for example) as they grow out of it so quickly.

I think asking for cold hard cash shows a bit of a cold hard attitude. It's not classy, but if it's important to you and you are really hard up go for it.

Sewmuchtodo · 05/07/2011 11:04

I would be horrified to recieve your 'announcement' (or should that be instructions?).

When I had my first 2 DC's I recieved lovely clothes (could exchange for larger size or gift voucher to purchase later), practical gifts such as nappies, wipes, blankets.....right upto cribs and a pram. We also recieved a lot of vouchers and money.

I did not expect any of these gifts, we are very lucky and sent everyone a personalised thank you letter.

silverangel · 05/07/2011 11:11

No, I wouldn't do it. I hate the idea of a baby shower as well, I see it as a I'm having a baby please buy me something idea. If people want to buy something then great and much appreciated, if not no biggie, up to them! At the end of the day though I guess its what you feel comfortable with but I have never seen a request for anything on a birth announcement...

YaMaYaMa · 05/07/2011 11:21

Jesus, who does that? No, please dont; I wouldnt get you anything if I received either a request for cash (ffs!) or instrctions on buying toys/gift list etc.

People tend to buy you little baby outfits, usually for 3 months +, for 2 reasons: it's practical and it's fun to pick cute little baby clothes.

KatieWatie · 05/07/2011 11:33

"If anyone asks you what they can get you for the baby, say changing mat or nappies or practical but not too expensive things. " this is great advice from Buzzsore

But I think basically people LOVE buying cute tiny baby clothes (lots of people don't get chance to do it very often) and I wouldn't want to deny them the pleasure.

Millie26 · 05/07/2011 14:33

Def don't ask for cash - I agree with other posters that people LOVE buying baby things, it's like they can't wait for you to have your baby just so they can go into JoJo and finger tiny socks.

We got a few clothes but they were mainly for older age stages so that was great. She also got toys, blankets etc and we got some lovely things too - champers, toiletries...

Some people might have started knitting your baby a cardi or socks or little shoes as soon as you announced your pregnancy - they might feel like all their hard work wont be appreciated if they read that email.

Friends of our parents knitted us all sorts. So sweet.

An overload of not EXACTLY everything you actually want/need/have space for is just part of it I'm afraid. Can you ask a family member or friend to store some stuff for you?

Millie26 · 05/07/2011 14:37

PS - In your defence, I don't think you are being presumtuous that people will buy you lots and lots of things. They will. You will feel completely overwhelmed and unless you keep a spreadsheet of who everyone was and what they bought, you will never be able to send thank you cards to the right people.

Clinical, but vital :)

nicolamumof3 · 05/07/2011 16:00

definitely not! I agree i think its quite rude tbh, if i received an announcement like that would be very put out. You can set up a wish list in advance nothing wrong with that. And mention to people you have plenty of clothes. But to ask for anything is definitely a bit crass unless you have been asked what you would like (personally then i still couldn't say 'cash')

People do love buying baby gifts and there is so much choice, books, photo frames, toys, blankets, toiletries etc, not everyone buys clothes.

spookshowangel · 05/07/2011 16:39

lol at birth announcements. i have always sent the baby boy/girl born at so and so both mum and baby doing well texts. but a birth announcement. do people still do that?

Millie26 · 05/07/2011 17:26

We did one, I'm really glad we did. Mainly for relatives who like to have something to stick on the mantelpiece.

It stopped us having to answer how much she weighed, what her middle name was and does she have any hair (we put on a picture on it) a million times which was quite nice when it was our first and we were KNACKERED.

But then I am the first grandchild to have a baby in my family and it was all a bit unexpected for everyone to take in so maybe that's a bit different. There was a lot of tutting from certain quarters because we weren't married at the time so I guess the announcement just made it seem more open and official somehow and like we really were proud and it wasnt all a horrible mistake.

lolajane2009 · 05/07/2011 17:28

my sister and brother in law sent out a nice card through the post after my neices birth with a photo and her details. i think it is a nice thing to do that but it wasnt a request for stuff.

allthefires · 05/07/2011 19:28

Dont mention gifts in any announcement! Very rude

I have loads of clothes from dc1 have made it clear i need no more clothes other than the few i have brought unless its a girl. This has been done in casual conversation so good friends know the score. They May choose to still buy clothes which is fine but i expect most wont. If they do and i have too many Will exchange or just use them.

PaleHandsILoved · 05/07/2011 19:48

Insanely rude to mention gifts - money or otherwise, but especially money - in a birth announcement. If I got that email, you would just be getting a card from me and I am otherwise a very generous baby present purchaser. Please don't do it!

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