Asking people to be godparents

[candr]

Do people still ask their friends to be godparents and if so did you ask them before the baby was born or after? Is it still supposed to be 2 godfathers and 1 godmother for a boy? Quite like the idea as will make my best friend feel more a part of our family and the babies life but at a higher level than the friends that get called auntie.

I would definitely wait until the baby has been born.

"2 of same sex, 1 of the other" is the normal, but not invariable, rule.

If people are getting the child christened then they ask people to be godparents. When you do it and who you ask is entirely up to you, DS has 3 godfathers and a godmother (and if DS had been a DD I would have asked the same people!)

I'm not sure a christening/godparents should be about making best friends feel part of the family though but thats just my view!

well, people do yes... if they are christian and planning on having their baby christened.

their role is to act as a supporting adult and spiritual guide if you will, and involves standing up in church and promising to bring the child up to know God and believe in Jesus (you would need to do this too)

"I'm not sure a christening/godparents should be about making best friends feel part of the family though but thats just my view!"

I agree. A godparent has to make promises to God. If they don't believe in God it would be somewhat hypocritical to accept an invitation to be a godparent. We chose DD's godparents because they were more than just good friends of ours. We knew that they would accept the responsibilities of being godparents, and yes, they are all Christians. One godparent is OH's sister and the other two are very good friends.

If you are uncomfortable with all of this why not have a naming ceremony instead?

When I answered, I took it as read the OP would be going on to have a Baptism.

well, you'd think so, but then if she was a practising Christian and au fait with baptisms/christenings she wouldn't need to ask if people "still" do it....

Lots of people have their babies baptised who are not regular church attenders, I see no problem with that. I would urge that the parents and godparents look at the promises they'll make and be comfortable with tham. Talk to the minister/vicar of the church about it.

There are naming/blessing ceremonies around also - it's still a rite of passage but means the child can be baptised at their own choice when older. I know children baptised as teenagers who chose their own Godparents which worked for them.