Please help - can emotional distress harm baby?

[KatyCustard]

I've just got extremely upset on the phone (nastiness at work, personal attacks, just general horribleness) and been almost hysterical...

(Even I wasn't hormonal I would still probably have got upset, it's been really unpleasant)

I could feel my tummy tightening, really worried I've upset/hurt baby.

I'm 17 weeks 4 days.

If you're still up would you mind reassuring? (Or beating me about the head with a wet kipper.)

Hi Katycustard, I'm no expert just wanted to say I hope you are feeling a little more relaxed, I don't know the exact answer just want to answer you tonight in case most others are off to bed. I hope you sleep well, I'm sure your baby is ok, just try to relax and put the other stuff to the back of your mind, nothing is as important as you and your baby

Poor you - I don't know the science but wanted to give you a response. The advice I was given was to avoid stress as an increased heartbeat
can have an effect on the baby. I am sure you will be fine but try and not get stressed about work stuff (easier said than done) as your (and your little ones) welfare is much more important. Hope u r ok xxx

Ooops I missed out that I had a specific health issue so that is why they were concerned about my heartbeat - probably not applicable to everyone. Xxx

Thank you both for your quick response!

I am calm now, I feel upset and sad but I'm not wound up or crying now. You are both right, nothing is more important especially stupid work stuff!

I am going to try very hard to not think about it now. I only work part time and not in again till Tuesday so will count my blessings and try and put things in perspective! X

Treat yourself to a nice bath and some chocolate xxx

I think long term stress may possibly have a small impact
A one off incident def not

Yeah exactly plan to do something nice and relaxing for yourself Katycustard, have something nice to look forward too, not work to dread, life is too short and precious.

don't worry Custard, lots of mums have stressful things happen in their lives but unless its all the time, think you have little to worry about. The great thing about being pregnant - esp with no 1- is being able to say - do you know what -i'm exhausted, then just having a snooze, lie down, light a candle etc without having to feel guilty. take it easy and sod them! they are not important - you are!

Hey Katy, sorry to hear about your work stuff

If it helps, I had the same worry for a lot of my pregnancy as I suffer from severe anxiety and had some personal problems at the earlier stages of my pregnancy and around the same time as you are in now (currently 24 weeks).

I asked on here and most people said not to worry as the worry makes it a vicious circle IYSWIM.

Plus, it is usually only ongoing stress that has a real effect, otherwise you are probably just feeling generally a bit rubbish but your LO has no clue and is fine.

The stressy stuff has died down for me but even after all my worry about it possibly affecting my LO, she is a healthy little girl and it has not done any harm.

Good luck with everything and please don't worry. If you do start to feel really worried or stressed, might be good to talk to your midwife for help or reasurrance.

Hey hunni!!
Sorry 2 hear bout ur worrying pregnancy should b a lovely experience/time.
In my experience things were fine until I was 7 mths pregnant-had personal problems & discovered baby wasn't growing.
Consultant advised me to take things easy & not worry about anything, I was then signed off work sick with stress (never had that b4)
I had my DD 6 wks early & she was little , but 13 mths on she is full of beans & perfect
Just relax & enjoy

Sorry to hear work are being so awful to you! I was in a similar situation with DD1, and it really wasn't plesant, half the reason I handed in my notice with my maternity papers.

I get updates on FB about baby's progress, am 27 weeks now, it said this week that baby willnow begin to feel how I am feeling, so 10 weeks on from you before they take much notice. As for the stress having an impact on their development, I would listen to the ladies on here, unless it is constant I doubt it would have an effect.

Could be worth talking to your midwife/GP about the situation at work, she may be able to sign you off with stress for a while and hopefully this will give your employer an idea just how much this is affecting you. It's not on. Hope you are ok xx

Hey there,
Sorry to hear you're having a hard time at work. It can be so upsetting, I know I had a lot of pressure during last PG. Just remember that yours and your baby's health are so much more important than any nasties at work. If this is a bullying issue though please go to see your manager or someone as no-one should feel threatened at work. You are entitled to feel happy and comfortable at work.

Baby will be fine, just imagine if you living in the wild with tigers chasing you everyday :)

Take care

Hi Katycusturd, just wanted to say to hold your chin up and whatever happening at work is not worth it! Your about to have a beautiful family of your own! Maybe think about taking time off and seeing someone! Don't forget that any form of bullying in the workplace is completely unacceptable, even more for someone who is vunerable at the moment!

I just wanted to say also that in my previous pregnacy my very close grandma dies very suddenly, very young of cancer, took us all my suprise which hit me hard! Was very upset for a long time, lots of uncontrollable crying and feeling very low! But baby was fine, and she's the happiest little girl ever!! Always smiling, a great cheeky personality and a real bright kid!!!
Don't worry about it! It won't effect baby and your body going through labour is 100 more strenuous than a crying fit and babies are fine!

Chin up, there not worth it!!!

I don't think so. I was also told there was no link to fetal problems and maternal stress.

Whilst I was pregnant my step mum died, and I had to attend her funeral. Which meant flying over to Ireland and staying with my abusive father, and i was an absolute mess. I also got sacked when MD found out I was pg and was really, really horrible to me and had a massive panic attack, hyperventilated lots and collapsed, and didn't stop crying for a few days. I also have mental health problems anyway, and see home treatment teams during the week.

Not trying to say that my situation is worse than yours - just that i went through all of that when pg, and my baby is fine (touch wood!) not had any problems in the scans at all.

How horrible for you, you poor thing!
If it's any consolation, my Mum died when I was 19w pg, with only 8 days warning. It was a very stressful time indeed - and I didn't feel any movements for 2d after she died, so went to the EPU for a Doppler to be run over my bump to check for a heartbeat. There was one, DS was fine and still is fine 3.7y later. But I too feared for him because of stress and he was ok.
HTH. :)