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Original poster

OMG ive just found out im pregnant with DC4!!

19 replies

MummaHG · 21/06/2011 21:00

Hello,
Ive already got 3 gorgeous boys who are 5yr, 2yrs & 9.5 months and ive just found out im pregnant again!
Im not totally shocked as since my last DS we had only been using condoms but had one silly (but very pleasent) night where the rubber socks stayed in he draw!! Blush
The problem I have is how to tell my DH, he was so sure that having 3 completed us and he is such a worrier about money & space in the house. Although im not worried about having another im very worried about how to handle this conversation!

I was thinking of keeping it a secret & telling him after the 12 week scan, that way he has a picture of the baby & he might take the news better rather than telling over dinner with the danger of him having a heart attack!!!

What would everyone else suggest? :)

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Flisspaps · 21/06/2011 21:03

Tell him. If he wasn't prepared to have another DC, he should have been more proactive in getting the condoms out of the drawer that night - pregnancy was always going to be a possibility if you had unprotected sex.

Congratulations Grin

JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/06/2011 21:04

Really don't think keeping it secret is a good idea. You know how to handle him best, think that you are going to have to come up with a way of breaking the good news.

saycheese · 21/06/2011 21:04

first of all congratulations. i have 4, 3 girls then a boy. If he didnt want another he should have insisted on a condom, and seeing as he didnt well it wont be too much of a shock? i think he may be unhappy if you keep it from him? and maybe he would like to see the scan himself? you know him better than anyone but i think you should tell him. He may surprise you and be really happy x

FreddoBaggyMac · 21/06/2011 21:08

Congratulations! Definitely tell him - honesty is usually best. I have four too and to be honest once you get to three another one really does not make much of a difference Smile

Crosshair · 21/06/2011 21:13

Congrats - I would tell him now. Goodluck!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/06/2011 08:23

Have you told him yet Mamma?

apples82 · 22/06/2011 08:59

I don't really think it's fair to keep a secret from him for three months, you should tell him so he can get his head around it.

shellmc · 22/06/2011 09:26

I agree, i would tell DH, it may be a shock at first to him but who knows he may be delighted. I know how you feel though as i have a DS with my DH and a step-DS. He is very happy with 2 DC and worrys alot about money ect and says we wouldnt manage another DC. Deep down i would love another as although we have 2 only one is my real DC. Im in limbo at the minute as im off the pill because of irregular bleeding iv had for past 6 months and we have been using withdrawl. I feel i could be pregnant but not sure, if i am i know il be scared to tell him.
xx

Flisspaps · 22/06/2011 10:10

Hope you've told him OP :) The other thing to consider which I thought about after posting yesterday, is if there were to be a problem (and sadly nothing is ever guaranteed to be ok) then surely it would be better if DH knew?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/06/2011 11:07

Thats true Fliss, I hadn't thought of that. OP agree with the others that if it was to be a huge problem he should have behaved better. If he wants to stop more DC he could always have a vasectomy Grin

Original poster
MummaHG · 23/06/2011 20:29

Hey ladies, I still havent told him yet- it doesnt feel real yet as im only about 5 weeks! As im feeling fine & well so its easy to hide but you are all right I must tell him and I will thats for sure.
I had a MC before falling with my DS2 so I know how much I will need him if anything is happen, whats meant to be is meant to be ah!

I guess the main thing im scared of is him telling me he doesnt want it, I couldnt stand that as obviously I would still go ahead with the pregnancy but it could possibily mean the end of things between us.
I think I will wait just another week or 2 & once ive confirmed it with the doctor I will then tell him!

:)

OP posts:
saycheese · 24/06/2011 10:12

hope you are okay? you must be feeling apprehensive. try not get too stressed about it all x

Imnotaslimjim · 24/06/2011 10:15

I would tell him, as much as it must be a shock to you, it isn't fair to keep it from him

Not I'd need to with my DH, he knew I was late before I did with both of mine, and bought tests on his way home from work without being asked!

babyonbord · 24/06/2011 10:29

i'd tell him, it might be that he does secretly want another but didn't want to try for one as men tend to think practically rather than emotionally like us women do. I'm now pregnant with my second but it's my other halfs first. When i got pregnant we had only been together about 9 months and had just moved into a new house which was his project and needed a lot of work i was also going through a messy court case with my ex for shared care of my son so it wasn't rly the best time and we certainly wouldn't have been trying for one but we had one night without condoms and tada. but once faced with an actual pregnancy he was thrilled. What i'm saying in a roundabout way is that just because your other half can't justify activley trying for a baby doesn't mean he doesn't want one, which subconciosuly was perhaps why the condoms stayed in the drawer that night. I have a feeling that if a man was really dead set against having children or any more children they would go to the ends of the earth to make sure that didn't happen, they certainly wouldn't agree to have unprotected sex if they knew condoms were the only method of contraception being used. Tell him i bet he gets excited ( he probably wants a daughter)

Original poster
MummaHG · 30/06/2011 20:56

Ladies, sorry for taking ages!

So I told him my news and he said he didnt want it & if I continue with the pregnancy then our marriage & family is over!
I was deverstared and spent most of next 2 days crying feeling very alone.

However last night I started to bleed and went to the early pregnancy unit today, sadly Ive had a misscarraige and pregnancy is on its way out!
I guess it wasnt meant to be this time,

however things are still not right between me & my DH, not sure how we can move on from this to be honest. He hasnt even asked how I am today, he didnt even take the day off work to come with me :(

Sorry its a short story but dont feel like going through it all in detail,
thanks for listening!! :)

OP posts:
AitchTwoOh · 30/06/2011 20:57

i'm so sorry, what a huge emotional rollercoaster you've been on. hope you get some time to think about what to do next.

PenguinArmy · 30/06/2011 21:01

Oh OP that sounds horrendous :(

He can't blame you for getting pg and he should be supporting you right now. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

buttonmoon78 · 30/06/2011 22:09

Mumma I can understand that an unplanned pg is a shock but really he shouldn't have been surprised at the outcome of one barebacked night.

I think you need to lay on the line for him how much you feel let down by his attitude. If he really has such an issue with another baby then tell him that contraception is in his power to sort as much as yours.

I hope you're back on your feet soon and feeling better.

Mama5isalive · 01/07/2011 09:29

Ohhhh im so sorry what an awful time your having to lose your lil bean! and for the awful way you DH has acted,can you go and talk to someone?
Please try and get some support for your lose and also talk about your marriage!
all the best and be kind to yourself xxxx

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