Am I being miserable or justified?

[Newmummytobe79]

I'm starting to feel tired with bump now (nearly 28 weeks) and I'm up every day at 5.45am and get home from work around 6.30/7pm.

I have a friend who I'm close to but not that close who wants to go out for dinner one night but all I really want to do at night is put my feet up! I visit my parents one night a week (or they visit me) and go to a pregnancy class one night.

We're saving like mad as I'll only get SMP and I don't really want to go and spend money on a dinner, where I can't drink and will be home late :(

Am I being a miserable c*w?

Can you suggest maybe your friend comes round to yours or you go to hers instead of going out? Explain to her how tired you are and saving money - she may not have realised and probably only wants to see you so the venue won't matter to her.

I hear you - I'm not that keen on going out midweek any more, and 'me time' is becoming more and more precious anyway.

Can said friend come to your place for dinner instead? You could get a cheap takeaway or rotisserie chicken or something.

With you on the saving hard - I'm in the same boat.

x posts...

You're not being a miserable cow, you're being tired and saving up. They usually do an anaemia check at the 28 wk appt - you might need some iron supplements?

I am 31 weeks and would not really feel like going out for dinner either; could she come round instead and bring pudding if you can knock together a big heap of pasta or something cheap and simple? After all, it's about seeing friends not fancy food, isn't it.

Hoorah, also x-posted with the same suggestion :)

All perfectly understandable. I'm 20 weeks and tired and I only get up at 6am and come home at 6pm. Most of my nights seem busy and all I want to do is go to bed at 8pm and relax with my feet up!
I also have an old friend who wants to "catch up" over dinner soon but I keep putting it off and putting it off.
Have you suggested going out for coffee at the weekend? It's not as expensive and you might feel much more rested!

Invite her to come round, and bring pudding! Then make something cheap and tasty. It's about seeing one another, not the venue or poncy food.

A weekly pregnancy class - bloody hell you'll practically be an obstetrician by the time your due! Could you take a week off and see your friend instead? I'm sure she wouldn't mind doing something cheap and cheerful and surely there is only so much antenatal info required.

benne81 - it's an exercise class! :)

and my only 45 minutes of 'me time' a week!

if you dont feel up to it then you dont feel up to it, its your choice but agree with some suggestions like invite her to yours instead or go out weekend daytime for coffee. if you explain to her the reasons she should understand, i think alot of people start feeling tired from around then so don't wanna do as much, especially as you have a long working day. personally i would prob go, cos sometimes going out to do something for yourself gives you more energy, but if you dont want to dont force yourself

Ahhh exercise class makes much more sense - I was beginning to panic that I should be taking the whole antenatal classes malarky much more seriously!

It still sounds to me (and I'm aware I may get my head bitten off for this) that you are making a few excuses not to go out with your friend and maybe you just don't want to go? If you don't want to go, don't go there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, especially if your knackered.

why not go straight from work? its cheap to eat out these days i find with all the offers on at pizza express etc? you could then be home and safely tucked in bed by 9pm!

I'm totally with you on this, I'm tired all the time now (still only 25 weeks but have low bp) and the thought of getting ready and going out somewhere nice to eat fills me with dread! I think the suggestion of having her round instead works better. Then you can sit on the sofa most of the night! Sounds bliss...

I'm in the invite her over to your house camp, a massive pile of pasta and a pudding sounds delicious right now! I'm sure she'd understand :)

Inviting her to yours is fine as long as she can take a hint about when it's time for her to leave!! I've got friends that have been over for dinner on a weekday night but seem unable to take the hint about when it's bedtime!!!

I agree with PinkFondant, it's difficult to get them to leave if you are really tired.
I am 24 weeks and tired all the time so I hear you, all I want to do when I finish work most nights is go home have dinner with DP and snuggle up on the sofa (where I often fall asleep before 10).
I have some friends however, that I enjoy meeting up with, so I am mostly suggesting going out for lunch on a Saturday or inviting people round for Sunday lunch instead. That way I am also much more fun as I haven't been at work all day!

You poor thing - I do that only twice a week and am knackered and I am only 20 weeks (I work from home a third day and then am at home with DD the other two days).

I would just be straight with your friend and say you really don't feel up to it. Could you go out for a coffee one weekend maybe?

I'm 17 week (pg#3) I've just been honest with friends who suggested cinema etc and said I'm really tired and not up for it. (I'm lucky cos the girls in question have all had babies, but long enough ago that they is no risk of "but I was fine at xx weeks with mine!)
The pasta and bring a pud idea sounds good and you can mention that you will need to make it an early night in advance so you're not having to drop hints once your friend is at yours. A friend should understand but if she hasn't been in your shoes (or has forgotton what pg can be like) they won't automatically be aware of how tired you feel. Honesty but a positive alternative plan is always best. You might even feel a bit energised by your catch up. Even in my non-pg state I sometimes get myself into a rut of tired/work/sleep/feel tired/etc and a girlie catch up can sometimes break the cycle.
Have fun!