Feeling really worried - reassurance badly needed...

[roz1982]

Hello -

for the last couple of days I have been feeling feeling really weird and worried (possibly irrationally) that something has happened to my baby (16 weeks) a couple of weeks ago I was sure I could feel flutters and little movements but for past couple of days I haven't felt anything - I know it's early to be feeling anything but I just feel terrified that something bad has happened. I can't stop thinking about it - got a midwife app today so that will hopfully be a relief but I'm also scared of bad news...I don't know why I'm feeling like this. Has anyone else felt like this before? This is my first.

IIRC with both my children the early 'flutters' (if that's what they were) were quite irregular til I got til about 5 months or 6 months.

Roz - I've panicked all the way through, I'm 23 weeks now and I think its just part of it! At 16 weeks you may be able to feel some movement but it wont be regular so I wouldnt say that's anything specific. Hope our midwife can give you some reassurance today x

roz1982 I had exactly the same as you. I started feeling the LO, then for three or four days I felt nothing. Turned me into a wreck. What I was told, was that you have to remember, at that stage, the LO still has a lot of room to move around in, so you won't feel alot of movement until they get bigger and therefore fill the space more.

Try not to freak yourself out, I'm sure you'll feel a little flutter again soon.

Thanks for prompt replies! Feel a bit better now - I wish I could have constant proof at all times that baby is fine! Its a horrible feeling to feel unsure and panicked that something bad has happened and you don't know! x

apples82 thank you - that sounds very rational and sensible!! Glad other people have been feeling like this too! OH just tells me to calm down and stop worrying but its hard when you've got a bee in your bonnet about it! MUST stop googling things as well...

I second what apples said - apparently movements don't settle down into a regular pattern until about 22-23 weeks? At my scan LO was kicking away, but sideways, so couldn't feel a thing though I could see it on the screen

I had all this between 15 - 18 weeks. This last week things have moved up a gear and now starting to feel her regularly every day. Remember midwives don't expect you to be feeling anything of real significance until 20 weeks ish

roz I had the same thing, flutterings then literally nothing for about a month!! Then all of a sudden there was a feeling much more like a kick. 16 weeks is a scary time though as it feels a long way since your last scan and a long way until your next. Hang in there

I completely understand what you mean about just generally worrying, googling and wanting constant proof that baby is fine! (Sorry, but this doesn't get any better. I'm 32 weeks and still have hourly daily panics!) Maybe try to see it as proof you'll be a great, caring mum

FWIW though, I didn't feel anything at all until 22 weeks so don't panic about the movements. I don't think MW will expect you to be feeling much (or anything very regular) yet. Hopefully she will use the doppler at your appointment so you can hear baby's heartbeat and that will reassure you. At least you don't have to wait too long.

Some of my friends got their own dopplers so they could check baby's heartbeat themselves so you might want to consider that. I decided against it as I thought I'd just panic even more, but they find it really reassuring and I'm going to ask them to bring it with them when we go out later

Roz - I could have posted the exact same thing! Only I was too freaked out to even post. I am also 16 weeks, was sure that in the last couple of weeks I could feel something, and then because I now can't every day, I keep stressing about it. I keep nearly buying a doppler too but then think I'd freak myself out even more if I had one. But if I had a friend with one I would definitely make her lend it to me...!!

Thanks everyone, from me too, for your reassuring replies...!

I think the thing is that they ARE so small at this stage that they move around all over the place and aren't always that near the surface, if you see what I mean. That's what I have been telling myself, anyway.

Stay awaaaaaaaaaaaay from Google though...

Hi ladies

Just wanted to add my thoughts! I'm 23 weeks now but I found that the weeks between 14 and 20 were the hardest - if you're not feeling much (or anything) then you have absolutely nothing to reassure you that everything is okay on a daily basis! I was constantly anxious during those weeks. But at 20 weeks you will get another scan and then I think it was from about 21 weeks that I started to feel regular, significant movements and its so lovely :-)

Try to take it easy - although I know that's easier said than done!

Mrs H xx

I was the same although a friend had told me not to expect alot of movement regularly at that stage mainly because they have sooooo much room to move about, they arent very strong so neither are their movements and if they facing inwards towards your back you dont feel it either until much later.

I used to imagine him just swimming around which made me smile but I used to love going to the midwife to hear the heartbeat - always made me feel loads better!

Now at almost 30 weeks, he doesnt stop wriggling around and I can feel pretty much every movement he makes which is so lovely. You havent got that long to go before you will feel the same things so just try not to worry about it. x

I could have posted this!

I'm 19+5 and for the last week I've been feeling regular fairly strong movement, then yesterday and today hardly anything.

I've just rung my MW and she told me all the nice sensible things that everyone else has mentioned, which although logically I knew I just needed someone to reassure me.

I'm now lying down for 2 hours and even though I've only been here for 15mins I've already felt a few wriggles :)

its so nice to know everyone feels the same!! Went to midwife this avo and she was just so useless!! Had to practically make her check for heartbeat - she said her machine was a 'crappy ol thing' that didn't work properly!!! and she said that if she couldn't detect the heartbeat then I'd be all upset and she'd have to send me to hosp for a scan!!! I heard it for a couple of seconds before it disappeared again so do feel reassured but no thanks to MW!! I just felt like she wanted me in and out. Much more reassured from mumsnet replies! I have also felt a few wriggles today too so feel much better. xx

What a horrible MW. I think they sometimes forget how scary it can be for a parent especially first time (mine acts like I am wasting her time and I have only seen her twice). At least you know all is ok and in a few weeks you will feel it all the time.

I was them same, I still am lol.

Im 27 +4, and although she moves every day, they're still not at regular times in the day or night so I cant work out a pattern. I suppose she is stubborn like her mum

Thats awful about your MW, when I hadnt felt much movement I went to my mat assesment unit at the hospital (she kicked the MW lol) and the MW was lovely. Sounds like you had a grumpy one.